Incubus Anomaly
by elusivetwilight
Summary: Incubus: a sex demon that visits women in the deep dark of the night. Edward relies on his special gifts to consume his prey. What happens when he meets the one woman immune to his unique abilities? M for dark lemons and dark themes
1. Prologue

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Something different and darker, especially if you're a regular reader of The Rain Season, my other fic.**

**This is not for you if you are easily offended or under 18. Srsly, go look at Rob pics or go see New Moon for the umpteenth time. Shoooooo!**

**Boob gropes and kisses with tongue for lambcullen for encouraging the debauchery. I love you Lambie.**

* * *

"_Oh God!"_

"Trust me, he's watching."

"Deeper, please go deeper."

I watched as she bit her lip, while I thrust into her. I lifted her legs up higher and the movement caused me to slide further into her slick wet passage.

She gasped as I ground my hips against her.

"Oh. Oh! Right there, you bastard. Fuck me."

I smiled, remembering that she liked dirty talk.

With each grinding motion into her I growled as I gripped her hips, "You. Fucking. Love. It. Say it."

"Oh!" she panted, "Oh yes! Faster. Fuck me faster, I'm almost there!"

I slammed into her again and again, the sound of our skin slapping together as she scratched her nails down my back. Reaching between us, I stroked her clit and watched as her eyes rolled back in her head, a scream bursting from her mouth and her toes curled. She came hard around me and lay panting as I pulled out of her and finished myself with my hand, spilling out onto her stomach, growling loudly with my release. I stood there panting for moment, my cock still in my hands. I closed my eyes and moved my hands to her, running them over her breasts.

Sighing, I reached for a towel, cleaning her naked skin of my seed. I leaned down and kissed her ear and breathed against her neck, my breath lulling her back to sleep.

Hearing her dreams and thoughts as if they were my own, I smiled as she drifted back into the tide of her subconscious mind. Pulling my knife out, I quickly found her femoral artery. It was easy enough, I had done it a thousand times over to a thousand different women. Making a small incision, I lapped at the blood that gurgled from the wound. She sighed and gasped in her sleep while I fed.

When I had drank my fill, I allowed a small amount of venom to fill my mouth to seal over the cut I had made. Just enough to heal her without turning her.

Her dreams faded, her mind started to break towards the surface. I was dressed and out of her window before her head rose from the pillow.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So, are you ready for possession, yet?**


	2. Chapter 1: Inferno

**A/N: Steph Meyer made good, wholesome vamps that you can take home to ma. These are not your abstinent till marriage kind. Turn away now if sex demons ain't your favorite flavor lollipop. **

**I just want to say that Lambcullen pwns me, and I wear her collar with pride. She beta'd this with open arms and legs. I love you mistress. **

**Song List for the Chapter:  
****Pretty Noose: Soundgarden  
****Bells for Her: Tori Amos  
****I'll Attack: 30 Seconds to Mars  
****Bloodsport: Sneaker Pimps**

* * *

_Abandon every hope, ye who enter here. - Written on the Gates of Hell in _Dante's_ Inferno._

I shifted and braked, the beast between my thighs growled then sputtered quiet. I swung my leg over and kicked the stand down with the heel of my leather knee high boot. My tight black leather pants were supple and moved with me as I locked the bike down. I slung my backpack down and took my bike helmet off, shaking my raven black hair out, combing through it quickly, before picking up my bag. Slinging it over my shoulder, I walked towards the backdoor of the theater.

The night air was thin, the cold air tried to steal the breath right out of me. I opened my jacket and pulled out a cigarette from the pack and my black lighter. Lighting the cigarette in my cupped hands I puffed quickly before sliding the lighter back inside my jacket and zipping it up. I took my time walking in, enjoying my last few minutes of peace.

Standing outside, smoking a cigarette underneath a streetlight was one of my stage techs, Marcus. He was older than dirt, looked like he bathed in it too. His long greasy shanks of hair and plaid cut off shirt were part of his daily uniform. He wore them with paint and grease smeared jeans and steal toe work boots. A red bandana was tied around his forehead and he looked like some Roadie that had missed the tour bus.

But Marcus was one hell of a worker, and he didn't bullshit around, like some of the younger guys. He nodded as I walked by, which was about as much as I ever got out of Marcus communication wise. It suited us and I nodded back at him as I passed.

I sauntered in, the familiar smells of wood, paint, and musty theater greeted me.

The locker rooms were located down a dark hallway. It was dimly lit by electric lighting. The old theater was a converted mental hospital and the eerie feeling lasted, as I walked in and saw my reflection in the mirror.

Eyes met mine in the reflection, as I stared at myself. Bella Swan, leather bomber jacket, black lined eyes, dyed black wavy hair, and a small tattoo on the side of my neck. The dark light and dirty mirror hid the obvious secret on my face. I rolled my eyes at myself and turned around to shuffle towards the back corner. I changed out of my leather into black jeans and a black t-shirt which had my name, title, and current show screen printed on the back.

SWAN

SENIOR STAGE MANAGER

INFERNO

I shoved my feet back into my boots and pulled them over my calves, smirking as my phone went off not even five minutes in the door.

I looked at the screen and sighed. My hyper active assistant Mike was already up my ass about something.

"Yes, Mike?" I breathed into the phone, exasperated.

"Bella, Jesus. I think we've got a situation with the lights. You gotta get up here."

"Did you talk to Yorkie?"

"No. But-"

"Talk to Yorkie first," I interrupted."He helped design the goddamn lights."

"Right, ok. You're the bosslady."

"Uh huh. Bye Mike." and I hung up on him. He was like a small puppy, and if I gave him half an inch, he would hump my entire leg.

Grabbing my clipboard and headset from my locker, I walked back out to inspect the stage.

We were right in the middle of setting up for an adaptation play written by a local author. I had seen some of it, the actors rehearsing, and the makeup designs looked fantastic. I checked through memos sent to me electronically and saw the house manager was on at me again.

"Aw, fuck you Victoria." she was this catty red head who I could not stand. It was always '_the house wants this and the house needs that_'. She found the most interesting ways to drain the budget, when it could have been used at the back of the house for things we actually needed.

But what can you do when you're not the one fucking the owner and managing director in his office? The two of them were a pair, James and Victoria. They both did my tits in.

I wanted to find Laurent, the director, so we could talk about scene cues and what set pieces he wanted where. It was getting closer to opening night and blocking tape for each set piece and its corresponding scene would need to be laid down.

I found him, shouting at the costume designer about lacy cravats. He had this weird African accent that could either sound peaceful or incredibly angry. As I walked over to him he looked as if he was about to slap poor Angela, who was cowering away from him.

"Who the fuck puts a goddam cravat on a demon? Seriously?" he waved her away and she practically ran to get away from him. I scowled, Angela didn't deserve that.

The rest of the evening went by and we managed to lay all of the blocking tape down.

It was soothing, seeing all the different colors of neon tape laid out neatly. My crew and I were busy, carrying set pieces on and off and organizing them in the wings. As we went through the motions, my mind fluttered back to when I had first started. I had apprenticed while in college at theaters in and around my home town of Forks, Washington. This job had landed right in my lap as I was finishing college and I had ran with it. Working my way up in the hierarchy of the backstage, it had paid for my education and then some. I had started out as a total gopher, but I managed to prove myself to James without having to suck his dick.

I was respected and it felt good to have my little niche.

At least that's what I told myself.

It was great. New shows came in, we would set up, build sets, create lighting, argue with pompous actors, lose props, find props, blame the actors. Then there was the after show parties, the cast and crew events, new shows, running shows, closing shows: it all revolved in a constant cycle. It felt like I blinked, and my early twenties became my late twenties.

Fuck me.

My natural habitat in this world was always in the wings, where it was quiet, and dark. Sitting on my stool, my headset in my ear, ticking off the scene changes, the lighting cues, the mistakes in the lines made by actors. Night after night.

I would come home, and my roommate would prattle on about whatever had brightened her day. I would crash on the old couch, and she would shout at me for having my boots on the cushions.

I joked with myself privately that my whole existence was black. Even my divorced name was Black.

How very appropriate.

So there I sat, in the chair in my bedroom. It was a rocking chair from my childhood. The dark cherry wood was smooth and mottled with age and nicks like tiny veins of something once alive and vibrant. I sat in this chair often, rocking, staring into nothingness. The sleep I longed for eluding me, and my dreams still elusive. The unconscious side of my brain unwilling to paint pictures, ever since Jacob.

His name still made my face twitch into a grimace. My mind protectively blew out those memories like a candle, the bright flame a smoky ghost in the darkness of my mind.

I breathed in and out slowly, filling my lungs with clean air. The moonlight filtered in through my windows, and in my line of vision, I could make out the lights of the house across the street. It was one of many grand ostentatious houses in the neighborhood and recently sold after the family who previously occupied were relocated to somewhere East.

A strange movement on the lawn caught my eye, and I moved to the window to have a better look. I could make out a man, standing in the front yard across the street. Something about the way he moved chilled me to the bone. He was moving and then he wasn't; his form motionless and too still in the breezy night air. It was as if he were detached and not of this world.

As he stood with his back to me, a piece of dust tickled my nose, making me sneeze.

When I opened my eyes he had turned around and was now looking up at my window.

_Oh shit. _Panicking, I fell backwards in the chair, the air knocked out of me. It would have been comical, had I not been so embarrassed. My legs were up in the air and I felt like a turtle on its backside, as I struggled to right myself.

_Just fucking great. New neighbor dude probably thought I was a total perv. _I snorted. _Works for me. Means he__'__ll stay out of my shit. _

I righted myself and the chair. The bedside clock glowed red in the darkness, mocking me.

3:09.

Yeah. Fuck you too.

My sleeplessness was getting worse. I headed over to my bed, it was a dark four poster wooden bed, the sheets white linen and the thick feather down comforter kept the colder nights at bay. Stripping my clothes off, I fell onto the mattress naked. I struggled, but eventually fell into a deep, black , dreamless void.

In the morning, I would wake up more tired than I began.

***

EPOV

A slight shift in the air, and I could smell her from across the street. Even before she sneezed. I turned around, my eyes able to focus on her from yards away. She was beautiful, exquisite. Her smell was potent. I felt myself go instantly hard, and my mouth pooled with venom at the mere hint of her in the night wind.

Her blood hummed and sang in her veins, like a perfect song, of which, I could only catch a couple of notes.

I was drawn to her. There was something about her scent that presented a challenge. A tenor, a note, a piercing cry that I had heard before, although not at this depth or volume.

She was an insomniac…yes…I could smell it from her. I listened for her heartbeat, my ears instantly picking up the rhythm. My senses were tuned into her, detecting her frequencies already even as she disappeared from view in the window.

She had fallen. I could hear the wood scraping on a creaking hardwood floor as she righted herself. She moved through the room and the dull thud of bare footsteps. There was soft huff of clothes hitting the floor, and I imagined her glorious in the moonlight. Skin slid along linen and feather down ruffled. A deep frustrated sigh. I waited, an hour went by, but a predator was patient.

Her heartbeat slowed, and her breathing sighed gently into the air. I was out of the door and through her window instantly. Breathing in her more concentrated scent, my body was pulsing and ready. My fingers wrapped the knife, heavy in pocket.

So drawn to her scent, to her, I realized one very large piece of her puzzle was missing. It was quiet in this room. Way too quiet. Only my mind was rapidly firing through various images of my own making. Hers was deathly silent, still, dark, and closed.

I growled, frustration arcing through me. Impossible. Angry, denied, I crept silently towards her. Her face was like a dark angel lost on earth, bruised circles like vacant crescent moons rested underneath her eyes. The only possible mar on her beauty was a tiny thin scar that ran over her left eye and down her cheek, like a permanent tear track.

She had pushed the covers back and her body exposed itself, moonlight running over her skin like a lover. My eyes caressed her luminous flesh; she seemed to glow before me. My cold perfect fingers ran down the vein in her arm and she shivered, tossing fitfully in her sleep. Her nipples budded, making my mouth ache to taste them.

I could hear her blood rushing through her veins, her breaths were soft, escaping her lungs, her heartbeat steady in her chest, but her thoughts were locked tight against me.

She was an anomaly to me, a unique enigma, and as much as I tried, I could not break into her vaulted mind.

Intrigued and disempowered at the same time, I watched her chest rise and fall with air. I wanted her, badly. I wanted to fuck her, suck her, and put her to bed with a smile on her face.

I leaned closer to her, venom pooling in my mouth, as her scent grew stronger, pulling me towards her. Instantly, irrevocably, I was in love, in lust, in hate with this creature.

I wanted her blood.

I needed her body.

An animalistic sound escaped my lips as I licked the side of her neck. Her skin had me growling in her ear involuntarily, the taste a delectable and unique flavor. I felt my cock leap in my trousers for her. I breathed softly near her, wondering if my breath would hypnotize her; if any of the compliments of my arsenal had any effect on her. Her breathing slowed infinitesimally, and she sighed in her sleep. Her body seemed to relax more and her grasp on the covers loosened. She turned in her slumber towards me, a hand seeking dangerously close to where I stood.

I knelt by the bed, torturing myself with her scent. Without being able to see her mind and walk in her dreams, her desires were locked away to me.

This presented a problem.

I ran a hand over her skin and she moaned dreamily in her sleep. I nearly came at the dusky note. She had been tossing fitfully before, but now she had calmed under my touch. My hands itched to go lower, to seek her heat, knowing exactly where I would find it. I could smell her, dark and deep, an earthy smell of arousal that called to me. Unbidden, my hand sought my own flesh.

"Fucking the neighbor lady. Nice."

I hissed and turned around. The window was wide open like an unblinking eye. Emmett, my brother, stood in the street, his huge arms crossed.

I turned back to her, my body screaming in denial. I breathed in deeply, though I had no need to. The useless oxygen filled the void in my chest. I turned back towards my brother and ran to the window. Leaping down to the ground and landing softly, I walked towards him.

"What hair crawled up your ass?" he asked, with a grin on his face as he read my features.

"Fuck you, Emmett." I growled.

We walked silently towards the house. Reaching for the door, he entered before me and I followed. Slamming it behind me, hearing the wood shake in its hinges did nothing for the rage inside me.

***

BPOV

"Oh my god, Bella. Oh my God." I rolled my eyes as my roommate, Jessica Stanley, called to me.

"What's up?" Bleary eyed, I turned towards her, my first coffee of the afternoon blackly washing down my throat. The burn was almost soothing.

"Have you checked out our neighbors," she gushed, "Seriously? I've only seen them at night, but what I did see made me want to dry hump the window."

I snorted, "No, I don't think I've seen anything dry hump worthy on our street lately. I think I noticed one of them last night, briefly." I stuck my face behind my coffee mug, hoping she didn't detect my stained cheeks.

"I'll let you know if I see them again while you're home. They are so fuckhot." She grabbed her purse and keys from the counter. "Oh! I forgot to tell you. I'm out with Tyler tonight. I guess you're working?"

I nodded, "Yep. Pulling an all-nighter." It seemed safe to come out from behind my ceramic shield and I held it between my hands as she threw a banana in her gym bag.

"Well, I'll see you at some point tomorrow. You're working yourself into an early grave, Bella." she raised an eyebrow at me, and then turned, walking out the door.

_Here__'__s hoping._

***

I watched as the petite actress ran across the stage, her dark costume flowing behind her. She was small, delicate, her angelic face in character.

The lead spouted his vast monologue on his observations of Hell.

I could give him pointers.

I lifted my headset and ran my fingers through my thick black hair. Replacing it, I smirked into the darkness. Hell was not some fiery inferno filled with ridiculous horned creatures. Hell was right here on earth. Hell was my asshole ex husband dating some fucking slut and parading my inadequacies all over my small home town. I had moved to leave Forks behind.

Mr Wholesome Values NFL quarterback, and his perfect wife could shove their cookie cutter small town life right up their assholes.

Fuck them both.

Hell was the nights of elusive sleep, and blank canvas that used to be vivid dreams.

Hell was the deep and despairing loneliness, because I didn't trust a single soul to be that close to me ever again.

I sighed.

The scene ended, and Laurent was shouting instructions from the back of the theater.

We were gonna be a while. I pulled the mic down and turned it on to speak.

"Yorkie, I'm going outside for a ciggie. Any shit, have Marcus come get me."

"Ok Bells."

I ripped the headset off and laid it on the stand. Patting my pockets, I pulled out a cigarette and placed it between my lips. I walked towards the huge backstage doors and lit it then pushed the heavy doors open. I crept through the doors, and placed a brick in the opening to keep the door ajar. I dragged on the cigarette and let the crisp November air wash over me.

The smell of the city surrounded me and I enjoyed the biting chill, like cool hands running over me. A stirring of déjà vu hit me for some reason, and I shivered.

There were people on the street outside and I watched a couple snuggle closer to each other. They were dressed in hats and scarves and fuzzy gloves, all comfy and cozy looking. It was so sweet it made me puke in my mouth.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could make out somebody approaching me. I tensed, knowing I was going to be asked something. I crossed my arms defensively and turned around, my cigarette in my fingers.

Eyes the color of a deep dark wintry night bore into mine. Rolls of electric warmth seeped and sizzled over me as he drew near, and I was strangely drawn to this handsome stranger. His hair was mussed in a sexy way: Freshly Fucked came to mind. He was clean shaven and smelled like male and something else, something deep, something I couldn't lay my finger on but it was oddly familiar. He was built like a runner or a swimmer, athletic and sleek, like a racing car, or a powerful predator cat. He smiled crookedly, and my body reacted physically, melting, starting with my thoughts and ending in my thong.

I licked my lips, and his beautiful eyes followed the motion making me want to do it again. His lips were beautiful, full and soft. I imagined nipping his bottom lip playfully. For the first time in almost two years I wanted to be kissed by a man. I also wanted this particular one to slam me into the wall I was leaning against, and kiss me thoroughly until I was devoured.

I actually whimpered out loud, as he moved closer to me.

"Hi. I think I'm a little lost. Is this 6th and Pine?" he asked, his eyes intense as they looked into mine.

I stared at him, lost for words, his voice echoing in my ears, shivering all the way to my stomach and _oh my god _settling between my legs.

I coughed and nearly dropped my cigarette. Stubbing it on the bricked side of the building, I pushed away from the wall, shaking my head, as I started to point in the correct direction, "No, you wanna go down that street and make a right."

"Oh. Thanks. I'm Edward, by the way. I'm kinda new to Seattle." he smiled again and my heart dropped.

_Get a fucking grip of yourself, Swan._

I stuck my hand out and his gloved hand held mine firmly, masculine to feminine, my light skin to his dark leather glove. My heart stuttered.

I angled my face away from his, my eyes casting down briefly. He squeezed my hand, and I glanced back up at him.

"Oh! Sorry, I'm um, Isabella Swan." I stammered.

Why the fuck was I acting like a goddam first grader talking to her first crush?!

"Well, Isabella Swan. I don't suppose you'd like to go for coffee with me sometime?"

"Are you fucking serious?!" It was out of my mouth before I could call it back, and my free hand clapped over my mouth in shock.

"Well. Yeah." he looked at me intensely and I realized he was very serious. My heart kicked into gear as I stared hypnotized at this beautiful stranger.

There was something about him that I couldn't quite read. Something in his face that he was holding back, something he seemed to be almost restraining.

My body unconsciously leaned towards his.

"Yes. I'll go for coffee with you." I said breathlessly.

"Ok, then. Will I come back for you or-"

"Can you meet me in an hour at the Bauhaus Coffee House?" I asked, a thrill of impulsive excitement running through me.

"Yes. What does Isabella Swan drink? Wait let me guess," he stepped back from me and looked me up and down. My flesh heated at his slow perusal of my body. His brows furrowed together and he shook his head.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, you're just very difficult to read." his eyes met mine, and I was lost again. We stared at each other, the intensity of his gaze scalding me.

"Triple shot Americano, cold milk. And it's Bella." I tried a smile.

He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Call me Bella."

He nodded, "An hour. See you, Bella." I shivered when he said my name, his voice making my stomach tighten deliciously. Then he smiled that smile again before turning away down the street.

I watched as he walked away, his hands in his dark wool coat pockets. His long legs were in dark jeans and he was wearing Doc Martens. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his walk, his movements mesmerizing. Yet, everything about him screamed dangerous.

_What the fuck did I just do?_

* * *

**A/N**

**Slow burn, ladies. I know. **

**Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing this, I was all sorts of giggly *thud* when I posted the prologue. I can't believe the response so far! **

**And um…thanks to JAG over at RAoR for helping me off the floor. **


	3. Chapter 2: A Doll's House

**A/N:**

**Stephenie Meyer is like Betty Fucking Crocker, she made lovely vampires for us all to enjoy. I took her recipe and added some dark lemon zest. J/S**

**I kinda owe lambcullen my life this week, and my tongue. She pimped me hard this week. She also held my hand and my boobs, as well as put her pink pen to work all over pervward/demonward. Thanks, Lambie, I love you. Hard.**

**FUCK ME, WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL YOU PPL COME FROM? I love you. Thanks. **

**Song List for this Chapter:  
Disappear: My Chemical Romance  
Eyes on Fire: Blue Foundation  
Black Ice: AC DC  
Early Morning Rain: Eva Cassidy (Elvis Presley Cover)  
First Orgasm: Dresden Dolls**

* * *

'_when you've sold yourself once for the sake of others, you don't do it a second time'  
_From Act III of Henrik Ibsen's _A Doll's House _

BPOV

The next hour was over with way too soon. I was perched on my stool in the wing of the stage, leaning against the wall. The fire extinguisher gleamed brightly in the off stage exit glow.

I huffed in and exhaled, forgetting that my mic was on. My breath blew like a loud wind in the ear phones.

"Whoever is breathing into the mic would you fucking stop it?" Yorkie's weedy voice demanded.

"Sorry, Yorkie." I apologized.

"Well, if it's you, Swan, keep it going. And make it exciting," he teased.

I rolled my eyes, "In your dreams, Yorkie."

"Every night, Swan."

I snorted.

"Alright you two, take it to another channel. We've got work to do." James' voice sent shudders down my spine. He had decided to involve himself in tonight's dress rehearsal and had planted himself in the middle of the house, wearing a headset. I could picture him, sitting in the middle of the row, his greasy hair clubbed back behind his head. Tonight he was wearing some pretentious ruffled pirate shirt. If he had worn breeches, I would have sworn he had stolen the costume from last year's Pirates of Penzance production.

What an ass.

I sucked air in, this time quieter, careful not to let it out directly into the mic.

What the fuck had I been thinking? Some random guy just asks me for coffee and I agree like a high school teenager on her first date?

_But you haven't been with anyone since Jake_, a small voice said in the back of my mind.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to close all thoughts of…Jake.

There was no way I could meet this guy. I didn't want to start the whole relationship thing again. The meeting, the awkward silence, the will he won't he like this skirt, this perfume, my hair, this lip gloss?

Not that I'd personally experienced that aspect, because I had married my childhood sweetheart, but the thought of starting again, of opening that door in my mind and in my heart, was frightening. I shook my head. No. No, that is not something I was ready to do yet. And I wasn't obligated to this guy. I would never see him again anyways. Seattle was a big place. When we finished for brake in ten minutes, I wanted to corner James about the agenda for tomorrow's meeting on the next show.

***

EPOV

My fingers drummed in front of me on the table top. The smell of milk and coffee was starting to nauseate me.

She had stood me up. This shit just did not happen. She was playing with fire, and we were both going to burn. Slowly.

I would make sure of it.

***

BPOV

"I'm home." I shouted, tossing my bike helmet on the chair in the living room.

"Bella!" Jessica squealed.

She ran out of the kitchen, the phone clutched to her ear.

"Yeah, mom, I'll phone you back. Bella's home, I want to tell her!" Jessica quickly hung up the phone, and it made a beeping sound as her finger pressed the button. She put it in the wall cradle and ran over to me. Her arms wrapped around me, trapping me, my arms locked under hers.

"Um, hi. What's with the unusual personal space invading?" I laughed.

"Oh my God, Bella. You'll never guess what happened last night!"

"Um, you discovered that Tyler has a third nipple?" I snarked.

She laughed and stepped back from me, "No silly! Look!" she held her left hand out to me. I stared at it, not really sure what I was looking at it, until my breath caught at the sight of the huge diamond. It sparkled and winked at me, mockingly happy on her small delicate finger.

I tried to work up an appropriate response.

"Oh my gosh, Jessica. It's beautiful." I said, my tone artificial to me, but she seemed to buy it.

"I know, right?!" she squealed. She hugged me again and then twirled away from me, happy dancing into the kitchen.

"Congratulations, Jess. I know you'll be very happy together." I almost choked on my words, my throat tight.

She paused in her happy dancing, and her face seemed to fall slightly, "I have something else to tell you as well."

"Ok."

"Well, Tyler said he wants me to move in with him. You know how he has that great apartment in the city?"

I silently waited for her to finish but I already knew what she was going to say.

"So I'm moving at the end of the week."

I composed my features and smiled widely for her benefit. I walked over to her, and hugged her.

"That's wonderful, Jess." my voice sounded false to me.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you all alone. If you're not cool with it, just say so-"

I pulled back to look at her, "Shut up, Jessica Stanley. Move in with your big handsome fiancé. I'll be fine on my own."

The phone rang then and Jessica leapt over to the wall to answer it.

"Hello…Hi Lauren!" she started squealing again and I left her to it. I walked towards the stairs, lifting my tired legs, which felt like cement, and worked my way up the wooden case.

My room was at the very end of the long hallway. I don't know why I had bought this huge house, maybe to get rid of some of the blood money from my divorce settlement. Jessica had urged me to do it, saying that if I settled into a rat infested apartment in Seattle she would totally kill me. Those had been her exact words and they still made me smirk.

It was mid afternoon, the golden sunlight filtered through clouds. I felt so tired but knew I wouldn't sleep. I went into my bathroom which seemed ostentatious for my needs. A 'his and hers' sink that always produced a sneer from me, a walk in shower that had way too many directional sprays and a dusty Jacuzzi tub that I never used.

I stripped out of my dark clothes and for a brief moment stood in front of the mirror naked. My long dark hair was pulled forward, hiding my imperfect breasts. Well, Jake had found them imperfect. He used to laugh at them whenever I took my shirt off, to the point where I didn't want to be naked around him anymore.

He had taken my virginal vulnerability with his ego, his strength. While no physical scars remained, I turned away from myself in the mirror, not wanting to torture my mind with old wounds.

I pressed a switch on the side, and the water sprayed from the multiple showerheads. Steam quickly filled the room and I opened the glass door, stepping in. Warm water hit me, dragging through my hair, soothing my skin. Hotter, I wanted it hotter. Scalding me until my skin was pink.

I leaned against the shower wall, wishing I could wash down the drain like the water, and follow it sliding down dark pipes and passages.

I closed my eyes, denying myself the pleasure of watching it, wet and driven down the hole.

An image of the dark eyed stranger flashed through my head. I could feel his leather clad hand wrapped around mine, his hand shake had been firm. I wondered if he would grip me just as firmly, his hands on my breasts. The memory of his smell crashed through my mind and I bit my lip, wishing the water falling on me was his mouth.

My nipples peaked and hardened under the spray and my treacherous body reacted. Before I could stop my mind, a mirage appeared of him kissing me in the shower, his hands running over my slick skin, his chest slippery from the steam and water, pressing against me. I moaned at the thought of rubbing my hardened nipples over his toned chest, lightly dusted with hair.

My hands slid low over my abdomen and I felt them shake with dormant need, as my fingers dipped in and stroked over the tiny sensitive nub of flesh. My hips twitched, his liquid voice groaning my name in my ear, his breath hoarse. I imagined his fingers instead of my own, touching me, bringing me closer.

His fingers moved faster but still I denied the coming orgasm, wanting to linger over his presence. He would not be denied, pushing me closer to the edge I had denied myself to long.

"Edward!" I gasped his name out loud as my body splintered and broke, swept into a lightning storm.

***

EPOV

I heard my name on the breeze in a moment of pleasure and I looked up, knowing it was her.

The sun had faded and a dusky twilight settled over the street. My eyes found the window that was hers; the drawn curtains barred my view. But my other senses were heightened, and if I inhaled deeply, her dewy musk filled the air in my body.

My trousers were tight, as my arousal pulsed beneath the fabric. I smoothed a hand over it as I drank in her scent, breathing her in. I listened but there were no sounds coming from the street outside. I was out of the door and through her window in seconds. My feet quietly planted as I straightened, listening to the noises in the house.

She called for me again, a husky sigh and I wanted to answer her calls and her body. I wanted to answer it with my own feral scream, a cry of bloodlust. The mere thought of her making my mouth wet with venom.

This denial was incredibly degrading. What I wanted, what I needed, I took and it was usually given to me willingly. I didn't have to work this hard for anything. Ever.

But she sang for me, every sweet fucking inch of her. With her, it was so different. I was frustrated but elated at the same time, it was like discovering a new species. I wanted to learn her behaviors, her instincts and in doing so, possess every part of her: making her mine.

I could hear her housemate occupied on the phone below. I would need to be cautious.

Unable to resist the lure of her arousal, I moved to the bathroom door at the end of the hall. I could hear her moaning behind the door, the water hitting her skin. She sighed and I pressed lightly against the door, closing my eyes. I could not, without revealing myself, go into that room.

One of my hands splayed against the grain of the door, moving slowly, wishing it was her prefect skin. She was in there, naked, wet, and cumming in the shower. My hand moved to the front of my trousers. I groaned as I wrapped my hand around myself over the fabric, feeling my cock twitch as I listened. My other hand was on the doorknob, undecided. Turn or crush it?

_Just have her and kill her. Kill them both. No one would know you were here. _

_Do it. _

_Fuck. Drink. Kill. _

No. No I could not. For the first time in over a century I had found something to take away the ennui of my existence. The fucking could be pleasurable in extreme, the blood was never enough. Finally, a chase, a challenge, a lockbox to be opened, this is what held me back from giving in to my baser instincts.

So I pressed my cock against the door, wishing it was her skin. My hand found its way inside my trousers and I gripped myself, my thumb running over the sensitive spots I knew too well.

She was breathing hoarsely, panting. I moved quickly, running my hand over the head of my cock, feeling the precum at the tip. Spreading it over, making it wet, I moved up and down my length. The doorknob in my other hand dented as I drew closer, knowing I only had precious moments. I could hear her house mates mind loud and clear about coming back upstairs, and going back to bed.

Fuck. Her smell filled my nostrils and the orgasmic tidal wave pulled me over and under.

The housemate's feet found the first step and the shower water abruptly shut off. I paused, tasting the air. With speed and stealth, I made it back to her room. The haven of the open window drew near, as I leapt to the front yard. I retreated back to my side of the street and towards the house.

I was enjoying this game, the parry and thrust of this particular prey. I smiled to myself as I went inside, slamming the door again for the sheer hell of it.

***

BPOV

Sparks flew, as I got a better grip on the wood between my legs. I adjusted the welders mask over my face, pulling it down farther. I was attempting to weld the iron back onto the set piece and it was driving me crazy. The fucking thing had fallen apart last night and I had taken it upon myself to make sure it was fucking done right.

I was up quite high on the scaffolding and the equipment in my hands was getting heavy. It didn't matter even as my shoulders protested I needed to get shit done before I went home.

"Bella!" I scowled inwardly at that particular voice. I turned off the welder and laid it aside. Pulling the mask up I looked down to see James standing below me. He crooked his finger at me and I scowled. Why couldn't he just ask me to come down there?!

I pulled the mask over my head and laid it down. I had wrapped my hair in a bandana, but now pulled it loose. I shook it out, letting it tumble in a dark riot down my back. Patting the sweat from my forehead, I got up. I walked over the wooden planks that made the scaffolding and turned when I got to the ladder. Gripping the sides, I made my way down.

James met me at the bottom.

"What's up, boss?" I asked, trying to keep the acid out of my voice.

"I want to go over some of the set pieces for the next show. We need to work out a time schedule. Follow me." He turned, assuming I would trail after him. I walked beside him, my black steel toe boots clunking on the stage floor as we made our way to the front of the house. I assumed we were going to his office and walked ahead of him.

I arrived at the door and opened it without his permission cause I knew it would piss him off. He entered behind me and slammed the door as I took a seat.

James' office was a bricked room that had been made into a small workable office. The brick had been painted over white and an old desk took up most of the room. Old production posters were tacked on the walls, and various awards were on display in a small case. Some were cut crystal and some were silver just starting to tarnish. He had two chairs in front of his desk, which was piled high with invoices and other paperwork. A phone sat in the corner but the computer on his desk looked old enough to still be powered by a mini dinosaur on a treadmill.

He stood behind his desk. "Why the fuck are you so difficult?" he asked, his beady eyes glaring at me.

I blinked innocently at him and pouted my lips, "I don't know what you're referring to, but if we could go over whatever you wanted to discuss that would be great. I have a set that is falling a-"

His hands slammed on his desk and he leaned over it, his eyes burning, "Fuck you and your bullshit Swan."

I stood up. There was no way in fucking hell I was gonna listen to this asshole shout at me, "Well, it would appear you don't have much to say, James. Excuse me while I fuck off."

I got up to leave and made it to the door. As my hand went for the knob, he slammed me against the door, pressing himself against me. I let out a small _oof_ as the air was knocked from me and my chin hit the door.

"You're such a fucking cocktease, Swan. We both know you fucking want it, the way you flaunt yourself all over the place." His rancid breath was in my ear and adrenaline coursed through me as I lifted my hand from the doorknob slowly. I elbowed him in the solar plexus and he backed off immediately. With enough room to turn around, I kneed him in the groin. He doubled over, his face twisted.

"Consider your cock teased. And don't ever fucking touch me again, you douche bag." My voice was deadly calm and I straightened my hair behind my squared shoulders.

Opening the door, I slammed it closed behind me and stalked back to my territory. As I entered backstage via one of the wings, I saw Marcus with my welding equipment. He saw my face and knew something was up.

"Saw you go away with James." he said quietly. His face seemed to know too much.

"Yeah. He's such an ass jockey." I answered. Marcus considered this and nodded his assent.

I huffed out a breath and toed the floor with my boot.

"I think I've had enough for today, Marcus. I'm going home. Can you have a look at the welding work to see if it will hold?" I looked up at him and he nodded.

"Sure thing."

I stalked towards the locker room. I just wanted to get my shit and go.

***

BPOV

I was staring at the TV not really watching anything when Jess came downstairs. I looked up as she entered the living room, dressed in a lovely green wrap dress and heels. Her hair was up and she had a matching clutch in her hands.

"Let me guess, you're going out, and you're staying at Tyler's." I raised an eyebrow at her.

She smiled, "Yeah. Are you ok here by yourself? I feel bad for leaving you."

I shook my head and motioned her away with my hand, "Go and be in love. I have Dancing with the Stars to keep me occupied," I smirked at her, "You know how much I fucking love sequins."

She snorted and bent down to hug me, "Yeah yeah. Try to sleep, ok honey?"

"Har. Har. Don't call, I will be drunk later on." I watched as she turned and walked towards the door.

"You'll be drunk, I'll be occupied with other things, if you know what I mean and I think you do." she smiled at me as she opened the front door, "Bye!"

The door shut and the house seemed ominously quiet except for the blaring of the TV. I turned it off and the room was enveloped in darkness. I sighed loudly into the black and blue atmosphere and uncrossed my booted feet on the couch. Planting them on the ground, I rose and stalked towards the kitchen without turning any lights on.

Opening a cabinet, I pulled out a large wine glass, setting it on the counter top. The wine was in a bottom cabinet and I pulled out a bottle of shiraz. I felt for the silverware drawer and picked out the corkscrew.

"Hello old friend, we meet again." I greeted the utensil. It glinted dully in the moonlight coming through the windows. The corkscrew made quick work of the bottle and it opened with a satisfying _thunk. _I poured a large glass of wine and took a slow sip, letting the full body of the dark liquid roll over my tongue.

I picked up the bottle and the wineglass before moving back into the living room. I set them both down on the glass coffee table top and found the box of matches I kept in the shelf below the top of the table. I struck one and lit the three wicks of the large white candle that sat in a bowl in the middle of table. The light threw shadows over the room, giving them eerie movements as they danced and swayed with the flames as they settled into their wicks, melting the wax. I sat back on the couch, the wineglass between my hands and drank lazily from the glass. My mind wandered as I stared at nothing.

***

BPOV

I was very drunk and I didn't fucking care. I opened the third bottle with finesse and walked back over to the couch to slosh more dark liquid into my glass.

The best fucking part was I should be knocked out by now, but I wasn't. Ha.

I was mid swig when the phone rang. I stumbled over to the wall where it sat and picked it up.

"'lo?"

"Bella?" a familiar masculine voice asked.

I laughed. Hysterically. Until my stomach hurt. Until I couldn't breathe. Until I cried.

"Bella, are you ok?" Jacob's voice was concerned.

Tears streamed down my face, "Fuck you, Jacob. You're a fucking asshole. Your new silicon toys boring you?"

There was a pause on the other end and he cleared his throat. "I just wanted to-"

I laughed into the phone, "You wanted what? Checking to make sure the garbage you threw out-"

"I miss you, Bella."

"Fuck you. Fuck you hard. Fuck you hard in your ass, no lube, Jacob."

I hung up on him and threw the phone against the wall. It landed with a satisfying crash, and I watched as the batteries flew out and rolled under a chair.

Fucking asshole prick. FUCK.

I got up from where I had fallen. It took me a couple of tries but eventually I was on my feet. Staggering into the living room, I blew out the candle and picked up the wineglass. Downing what was in the glass, I set it back on the table and lifted the opened bottle.

With my bedroom as my destination, I slowly made my way upstairs. I glugged more out of the bottle as I stepped into my room. Moonlight from the opened window settled over furniture and objects. I shivered, the November evening sharp and cold.

I sneered at the bed on my way past it, it mocked me with its white sheets and sleepy pillows. I opened the door into my closet and flicked the light on. The light blinded me for a second and I blinked until my bleary eyes adjusted.

I stumbled into the closet, the wine making me unstable and pulled at a box on the top shelf. I shouted as it glanced off of my head before crashing to my feet.

I gasped, looking down as old photographs spilled out over my bare feet.

I sat for ages, caressing the pictures, some of them from my childhood. I sipped from the bottle of red wine as I shuffled through the old images of myself. I smiled.

I was happy.

I was unscathed.

Sighing, I put the pictures back in the box, not caring if they were out of order or backwards, I just wanted them gone. I looked over and saw something in the darkness created by clothes I rarely wore but hung limply from hangers, forgotten. I saw the black case and jumped. I ached to touch it, to bring it out and into the light. It was back there, and a memory flashed through my mind, taking me back.

_Ladies and Gentleman, Miss Bella Swan._

_I walked out onto the stage shyly, my long black dress swishing around me. I could see Charlie in the front row, his moustache shuffling in pride. Jake sat next to him but his face was lit by his cell phone, a small smile playing about his lips. _

_My long brown hair curled around my shoulders like a cape, and I stood in the middle of the stage, a thousand pairs of eyes upon me. _

_But there was only one pair that I really wanted to see looking at me._

I had not touched it since I had found him with her. In her. Doing things to her he wouldn't with me.

I snapped my head back to the present and eyed the case. Why the fuck was I letting him hold me back from something I had once loved?

The house was silent, and I was alone. I lit candles in the bedroom and swigged the wine once more. My head swam but I knew I would be able to play.

I brought the case out and sat in the doorway of the closet. I smoothed a hand over the hard plastic, the dust thick. I unlatched the front buckles and opened the lid, the hinges silent.

There it lay in perfect preservation. Curved like a beautiful woman, the shiny black was muted in the dull candle glow. I lifted the guitar out lovingly and stroked over strings and the smooth cold side. Sitting in my chair, I gently placed the guitar in my lap, my hand stroked over the strings.

I played the first song my father, Charlie, ever taught me. I played the first few notes and sang the first few lines to _Early Morning Rain_ by Elvis Presley. My fingers tripped drunkenly over notes and chords and I wondered how Charlie was these days.

***

BPOV

Guitar strings cut into my cheek and my eyes opened to morning light mingling with the overhead light. I realized I was convulsively shivering and that my entire body was like ice. My mouth felt like sand paper and just blinking my eyes made the room spin. I realized slowly that I was naked underneath the bed sheets. I vaguely recalled pulling the guitar out. I stroked over the strings and the made a funny hollow sound. The room slowly started to spin like a broken carnival ride and I tried to swallow.

I knew I would be sick, I might as well go and get it over with.

I slowly got up, pausing when the room spun too much. I noticed my clothes were folded in a neat pile at the end of the bed and I threw on my t-shirt and black cheekies. I groaned, rubbing my face, and made my way to the bathroom. Lifting the lid on the toilet, I pulled my hair into a messy knot above my head with the band that was around my wrist.

My stomach finally obeyed my pickled brain and I heaved into the bowl.

There was nothing like worshipping the porcelain God to wake you up in the morning.

When I was finished, I washed my mouth out and splashed my face. My eyes met the woman staring at me in the mirror. I nodded a hello to her and she mirrored the gesture back. I huffed a laugh at myself and straightened.

Heading back into the bedroom, I put on my pullover black hoodie, putting my cigarettes and lighter in the front pocket. I traded last night's jeans for a pair of black plaid pajama pants. Today was my day off and I planned on not leaving the house.

I padded down the stairs, my legs shaky still and I gripped the banister. Finding the phone broken on the floor, I had a vague recollection of a phone call and laughing myself silly.

I must have dropped the phone during my maniacal episode on the floor. I found the pieces and the batteries and snapped the plastic back together. The phone chirped, as it turned back on. Curious, I scrolled through the caller ID to see who my caller was.

I nearly dropped the phone when I saw. Oh fuck. Oh shit. No fucking way. I hadn't talked to him in two years, what the fuck would that asshole want? And what the fuck did I say to him?

I tried to take a deep calming breath, trying not to think about him and the implication of any phone call from him. There were no messages on the voicemail and he hadn't tried to call while the phone had been on the floor in pieces.

Great, just fucking great.

I slapped the phone back into the cradle and walked towards the front door. Unlocking and opening it, the cold air slapped me in the face and the brisk chill woke me up further.

I walked outside in the dull gray morning light, lighting a cigarette on the front porch. I puffed gently and watched as it rose into the air above me.

Keeping the ciggie between my lips, I made my way down the driveway to where the paper had been left. As I bent down to pick it up, a fancy looking sports car pulled out of the new neighbor's driveway.

The tinted window rolled down and I braced myself for inane chit chat. The fake smile I was about to slap on my face faded though as dark eyes met mine.

The cigarette between my lips fell out of my open mouth and rolled down the driveway.

I couldn't take a proper breath, the sight of him a sucker punch in the gut.

"Bella." He said my name in that liquid voice of his and my insides quivered. I licked my dry lips.

I gaped at him as he raised an eyebrow at me.

His warm velvety voice was as smooth as hot caramel, "I'll take a rain check on that coffee."

The engine growled as he rolled the window back up and before I could blink, he was speeding along the road.

Well shit.

***

**Bella, my doll, you have no idea. **

**But we do, don't we girlies? Next chapter will be more DemonPOV, promises. **

**Srsly, you guys died me all week with your reviews. All the pimping, the tweeting, the love…I have no words and thank you seems oddly inadequate. I am truly humbled. **

**Lastly:**

**K_intheFlo…srsly, woman, I feel like I should pay you or something. Thanks for the bedtime storeh. **


	4. Chapter 3: The Crucible

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer set the bar high when she created Twilight and Edward Cullen. I'm the kid who got her tongue stuck to it while licking said bar. J/S**

**All other works cited in this fic are also the genius of other people.**

**Lambcullen has allowed me to bask in her beautiful bosoms while she took her pink pen to pervward. I love you SFM, and yes, I'll bring toys next time.**

**Thx to nitareality for Bella's top. Demon/Pervward thanks you. x**

**Songs for the chapter:  
****Moonlight Sonata: Beethoven  
****I Bleed: The Pixies  
One of These Nights: The Eagles  
Super Massive Blackhole: Muse**

* * *

_I lusted, and there is a promise in such sweat. -_The Crucible, by Arthur Miller Act III

A deep and dark fog settled over Seattle that night. Streetlights lent a deceptive glow in the white darkness as shadows weaved in and out of the depths, like demons or spectres. Fog fascinated me. True, I could see farther through it than any mortal, but I was still blind up to a point.

She has ruined me. Never has my knife blade been so shiny for so long. Normally I kept myself satisfied and fed. Is this what mortals mean when they say they want something they cannot have?

I contemplated her as I sat at the piano, my hands moving absently over the keys finding notes with ease, playing an old favorite, Moonlight Sonata.

I could feel my jaw clenching the more I thought about her and my thoughts were consumed constantly by her. I would have her; I must have her very soon. To think she is only a few yards away, ripe for tasting. But I didn't want the fruit all at once. I wanted to prolong this, to torture myself before I reached the juice and the core.

My ears picked up laughter but I knew from years of studying women that it was not happy. It sounded oddly like the breath was being squeezed right out of her. Her heartbeat was funny and her steps were more unsteady than usual. Was she drunk?

I continued to play, keeping my left hand constant to the notes required. My right hand keyed its own notes possessively.

I paused, the music dying as a different note filled the air for me. The small sounds of guitar and a woman singing stopped me. It was her.

Like Homer, I was drawn to her, willing to crash upon the rocks to hear her, taste her, have her. Enticed, I quickly made my way outside. The swirling fog hid my movement as I made my way to her open bedroom window. As I leapt inside, the candles she had burning whooshed out, the smoke rising like withered centurions, questioning my presence.

She had stopped playing, and was passed out in an awkward posture in the closet doorway. She was like a puppet, crumpled and forgotten by its owner. I stared, for what may have been an hour or an instant, drinking in my fill of her scent.

No longer able to deny myself, I was next to her as soon as I decided. I pushed her back, and she was limp, passed out from the dark red wine she had consumed. I could smell the fermented grapes from across the street. But it did not take away from the hauntingly beautiful sweet notes of her unique smell.

I took the guitar from her grasp and laid it aside on the floor. I picked her up like a doll and carried her over my shoulder towards the bed. Pulling the covers to the end of the bed, I laid her down, her body sinking into the mattress.

I needed to see her, all of her, and I slowly began to undress her. I slid her boots off first and placed them on the floor at the foot of the bed. Her small feet were pale and soft, her toe nails glinting like obsidian in the night. Next her jeans, the zipper humming in the darkness. I slowly slid the denim down her hips, over her pearlescent legs and off. I folded them neatly and put them on the covers at the end of the bed.

I took her black t-shirt off next, lifting her up to slide it over her head and arms, her face temporarily obscured by black cotton and then revealing again, her dark hair tumbling around her on the white sheets. She wore no bra and her nipples hardened in the chill air. Only a thin layer of cotton separated me from her complete nudity.

I nearly ripped it off of her in my haste, in my thirst to finally see all of her. When her things were folded neatly I stood back, enjoying the work of art before me.

She was not an innocent Eve, as imperfections did not exist on Bella. Her body was beautiful, her limbs iridescently white to my eyes and I decided she was more a tempting Lillith, her breasts crying out to be touched, her hips to be grabbed, her beautiful pussy to be fucked. She was bare there, and I could smell her faintly, duskily before me.

I was on the bed, leaning over her, my legs on either side of hers. I breathed in her tempting smell from her neck and my restraint nearly came undone. The demon within me asked for a taste, just once, why deny the child?

Swallowing the venom that pooled in my mouth I leaned down to lick the side of her neck. She moved her head slightly, exposing more of her neck to me. I tasted down the perfect alabaster skin and my cock moved behind my trousers.

I couldn't stop tasting her, even with her heartbeat temptingly pumping behind her ribs, her skin protectively white and true. I ran my nose along the underside of her breasts and watched as goose bumps formed over her skin and my nose told me it was not from the cold.

My control greatly tested as I continued down the valley of her stomach, her navel a perfect imperfection, assuring me she was real, mortal, and alive beneath my fingertips. I knelt between her legs but resisted touching.

This time.

This time, I wanted a taste. Torturing the burn at the back of my throat I inhaled deeply, her smell making me close to rabid. Without hesitation, I leaned in and dipped my tongue between her hot lips. For a brief split second, my eyes shut, the flavor more exquisite than what I had imagined. I clenched my jaw, her femoral artery loud and beckoning in my ear.

I was against the far wall before I could blink. I stood there, staring at her, my eyes wide, my restraint wearing thin. I must get away before the hissing voice in my mind took over my actions. I lifted her clothes and settled the down blanket over her, leaving the clothes at the corner of the bed.

Slowly, I backed out of the room, and then jumped from the window. In a fraction of her heartbeat I was back inside the landing of my house across the street. I stood while my mind battled instincts that wanted to fuck and feed.

I was starving myself. If I didn't feed soon, the instinct for the survival of my existence would take over. I haven't killed in almost twenty years and I tried to keep from doing so. It was savage and without finesse. Animalistic and base, killing the prey was easy, it took skill to feed and leave the prey alive without changing them.

As hungry as I was for her, as much as I burned, I wanted to prolong and enjoy the chase. It will make the culmination and consummation so much more illicitly exciting.

My cell phone went off, it was buzzing somewhere upstairs. I went to get it and noted it was Emmett.

"Emmett."

His voice was bright and cheery as always, "Jesus, Edward. You really should lighten up some."

I let that pass, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?" I asked icily.

"Alice is worried about you," he said.

Alice, my sister, though not by mortal birth but by covenal agreement. Emmett was the same. I had a family once in this life. I had brothers and sisters. My father, Carlisle, had changed me in 1918, after my mortal mother had pleaded for him to save me from the slow death of Spanish influenza. The good doctor took it upon himself to personally see to it that I would die and then reborn as his son.

I sneered at the thought of him. He tried so hard to be what he thought was good. I had not spoken to him since that night twenty years ago when he had found me crouched over a corpse, my mouth full of bloody nectar.

We had argued, profusely, and I told him I could not only control my frenzy for the kill, I could live quite happily outside of his world. So I did. I have. Quite happily. Quite satisfied, in all ways.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, "And what frightening vision of the future has our sweet sister shared with you?"

"She says you're going to kill, soon, if you don't eat something," he said, his voice uncharacteristically low.

"Tell her not to worry, I plan on eating, very soon." I smiled as my mind showed me Bella nude, laid out like a banquet for my hands, my mouth, my cock.

"If you don't do something about it, she's threatening to come and see you," he warned.

I sighed again and rolled my eyes. My sister was annoyingly right, all the time, given the power of her ability to see the future. She was a small, petite framed immortal with delicate impish features and dark hair which she wore in a short sleek bob.

"If Alice wishes to pay a sisterly visit, she is always welcome and she knows that," I answered.

Emmett chuckled, "Whatever, Edward. Did you fuck the neighbor lady yet?"

I nearly hissed into the phone, "No, not yet."

He laughed again, "Well, let me know when you do, she's pretty hot."

"Fuck you, Emmett."

He laughed and hung up on me. I moved to the piano, my mind circling back to the Pandora across the street. I sat down at the bench to play, my fingers moving restless and unfulfilled over the keys as I continued to ponder how to bring this forward. As I thought, the hours passed and the sun lit the foggy gloom. I heard her moving around across the street, my head cocked to the sounds but I continued across the pale white keys of the piano. I hit a darker note and growling, stood up.

I knew a visit from Alice would be sooner rather than later. I decided to head her off at the pass and pay her a brotherly visit. Jasper, her mate, and I did not get along. He thought he was that little bit better as he was older than me by almost 60 years.

I grabbed my car keys and went into the garage. The Vanquish waited for me and I caressed its dark ebony lines before opening the door and getting in. I let the engine purr before opening the garage door with the remote and backing out.

The front door opened to her home and Bella stepped out, hidden in a black hoodie and pajama bottoms. My dick was instantly awake and I burned for her intensely, the sight and close proximity making the air inside the car pulse. I would have her soon.

I watched as she lit a cigarette and started to make her way barefoot down the driveway. She neared the end of the black tar to lift the morning paper. I drove up, rolling the window down. The stunned surprise on her face was well worth the fire in my throat.

"Bella." I said and watched as her eyes slightly glazed. She continued to look at me, an animal ensnared in the hunter's trap. The cigarette between her perfect lips fell to the ground.

"I'll take a rain check on that coffee."

I revved the engine and I rolled the window back up. Gunning the engine, I shifted and sped down the street. I watched in her in the rear view mirror, as she stood stupefied on the step. I grinned to myself, knowing that the gap was closing.

***

EPOV

My visit with Alice had been interesting. I had walked into her large apartment she shared with her mate, Jasper.

"Well, well. Look what the pussy dragged in," she smirked at me.

I raised an eyebrow at her as she led the way into the living room. The large windows looked out onto the city; the sight was lovely in the evening. The lights, the cars, the pulsing vitality of the city even under a dark downpour of rain reaffirmed that even inanimate objects had life.

I sat down and listened to Alice prattle on at me. She attempted, again, to try and start some sort of reconciliation between myself and the rest of the family. I explained to her, again, that it held no interest to me, these familial immortal ties. She was emphatic, and I ended up hissing at her that it was best left alone. The noise drew her Jasper into the room. He glared at me, his golden eyes threatening and I returned my own lethal pointed black daggers.

I left shortly after, frustrated. Now pulling into the drive, I saw something taped to my front door that wiped away the darker thoughts. I parked the car in the garage and hastened to the front door, closing the garage with the remote behind me.

It was from her, I could smell it. A small piece of folded paper with my name written across the front. I tugged it gently from the door and opened it.

_Edward,_

_I am very sorry and feel so embarrassed for standing you up. Can we start again? I would like to meet you for coffee tomorrow night, say at 7PM? I'll meet you at the Bauhuas after I finish work. _

_Bella_

I held the paper to my nose, and closed my eyes briefly. Soon. Very soon.

***

BPOV

"Jessica, I shit you not." I raised an eyebrow at her as she looked at me in shock. She had come to my room to ask me a question but when she saw what looked like my closet had upchucked its entire contents onto every available piece of floring, she had wondered why.

"Bella, are you serious? The hot neighbor guy? You. Bella Swan. You have a date with the fuckhot guy across the street?" she asked, her mouth gaping.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes."

She squealed, "Oh my God! Right, you _have_ to let me help you! Oh please let me help you, Bella." she pleaded.

I sighed, "I fucking need it at this point. I'm so nervous. I kinda stood him up before I knew he was the guy across the street. I met him outside the theater on a smoke break."

She was horrified, her hand in the air, her palm towards me, "You. Stood. Him. Up?!" Her wide eyes blinked at me.

I looked at her and then looked away, "Yeah."

She walked towards me and hit the back of my head, "Bella! What is wrong with you?!"

I looked at her sheepishly, "I just don't know if I'm ready."

She pursed her lips and tossed her chocolate hair over her shoulder, "Well, you will be when I'm done with you."

She spent the next two hours making me try on different things from my closet. She had wanted to stuff me in a dress and I had said no deal.

We ended up agreeing on a single sleeved off the shoulder black top that hugged way too much. One arm was left bare, the other wrapped in dark cloth. She made me wear some strapless push up contraption that was horribly uncomfortable. I started to complain but she interrupted, saying I needed to make a good impression since I stood him up the first time. She just wouldn't let that go.

Several hours later, I finished my shift at work and changed into the agreed outfit of black skinny jeans and my black top. Sliding my feet into my Louboutins, I smiled. The stilettos had been an impulse buy and I loved them: black peep toe with silver studs all over. They suited the Goth in me but were sexy enough to wear on a date.

_Date. _I was getting better at saying that word in my head.

I curled my hair a little bit and sprayed perfume. After re-checking my make up in the light, I decided it was as good as it was gonna get.

I made my way to the back doors, pulling out a cigarette to calm my nerves. I stepped outside and lit it, blowing smoke into the thick foggy air. Looking over to my left, I saw him almost materialize out of the gloom. He was waiting for me, leaning against the brick of the building. He looked up as our eyes met and I felt that jolt that ran from the top of my head and settled between my thighs. I took a strangled breath and started to walk towards him.

He wore a dark wool coat, his hands stuffed into the pockets. His hair was perfectly mussed and I was dying to run my fingers through the bronze strands. His strong jaw was chiselled like some Grecian mason had lovingly carved him. He was wearing dark blue jeans again and they fit his long legs perfectly, ending over his fuck-me-now Doc Martens.

Oh Jesus, I was not going to make it out of this night alive.

***

EPOV

This time I waited on her, knowing she would probably try to flee at the last moment. But she could not avoid me. She stepped outside, lighting a cigarette, blowing smoke into the air. My body responded instantly to her, the fire stoked, the burn pleasing.

This creature, this tiny unworthy being captured me effortlessly.

She wore her leather jacket and a pair of dark skinny jeans that hugged her legs. She paused when she saw and then started over. Her black spike heels made her seem taller and I wondered how they would feel wrapped around me as I moved in her.

Her dark hair was in soft romantic waves, flowing over her shoulders. She kept trying to smooth it back and I wanted to bury my face in her scent, in her neck and between her thighs. She was wearing some expensive perfume. I never understood why women insisted on perfume, did they not realize their own unique scent was the allure?

She smiled shyly at me as I straightened away from the wall to meet her.

"Hi." she said and ducked her head down.

"Hello, Bella. Are you ready?" I asked, as I offered my arm.

She smiled nervously and looked me in the eye, "I guess." She took my arm gingerly then walked beside me as I led the way to wear my car was parked. The connection of her arm on mine made my groin tight and I heard her swift intake of oxygen. Could I dare to hope that she was just as affected?

We arrived at the car and she almost reluctantly dropped her arm from mine. Opening the door for her, I watched as she sat down and swung her legs over the side. I shut the door and walked over to the other side. I drove to the coffee house, parked the car and led the way inside. It was quiet , just jazzy piano music playing in the background. They had put up Thanksgiving decorations, and the autumnal colors gave the large coffeehouse a warm atmosphere.

We quickly ordered our drinks; her triple shot Americano with cold milk and my double espresso were served. I chose the table and we sat down in the chairs. Unbuttoning my coat, I hung it on the back of my chair, straightening the sleeves of my long sleeved black shirt. I had them slightly rolled over my forearms, and her eyes travelled them silently.

She shrugged out of her jacket, then, her smell intensified as she moved. I nearly leapt across the table but reined myself in. Her curves were wrapped in tight ruched cotton, the pale skin of her one bare shoulder and arm begging me to find the artery that ran down her left arm.

I resisted and relaxed back in my chair. Bella sat down but she was very tense, she seemed unable to settle. Her eyes darted all over the place and she looked ready to bolt. I was enjoying it, knowing the prey recognized a slight edge of danger.

"Bella, I know you work within the theater. Tell me about what you do?" I asked, hoping to draw more information from her.

She raised her delicate brows and then looked into my eyes, "I'm a stage manager for the theater. I deal with the majority of the backstage part of any of the productions the theater is responsible for." She delicately sipped from her mug, looking up at me from beneath her long dark lashes. Her eyes rolled back slightly and she sighed, closing her eyes. Her face was reposed in silent euphoria for a second and my jeans were too tight as my cock nearly poked a hole in the table.

"I love the coffee in this place. It's almost orgasmic." She said as she sighed.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as those words dropped from her mouth and landed in my lap.

Her eyes met mine and she looked quickly away, a lovely blush stealing across her cheeks. It was silent for a moment and then she inhaled deeply. Fixing her dark brown eyes on mine, she licked her lips and said, "So, what do you do?"

I smirked at her, "I do a lot of investing." I picked my espresso up and drank. I shuddered inwardly as it slid down my throat. My body clenched and screamed at me that espresso was not the menu it had ordered from.

Bella sipped her coffee, her small hands wrapped around her mug, her black nails shiny in the muted light.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" she asked.

"Not a lot. I'm estranged from the majority of my family. What about yourself?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She set her cup down, "Well, my housemate is moving out at the end of this week, so I'll be alone next week for Thanksgiving. I suppose I could ask my dad but we don't really talk much anymore," she huffed a small laugh, "If this goes well tonight, you're welcome to come over and drink away your sorrows."

My version of drinking away my sorrows would more than likely terrify her but the buildup would keep those fears substantially occupied.

"I may just take you up on that," I smiled at her. Her eyes momentarily glazed and I paused to give her a moment.

"So what project is the theater currently undertaking?" I asked.

She recovered, "We are about to open an adaptation of Dante's Inferno. It's really good. I really like Dante. It's a personal favorite and it's interesting to see it come alive on the stage. We open later this week." her eyes were slightly wistful.

Unable to resist I recited the first lines, "_Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita, mi ritrovai per una selva oscura ché la diritta via era smarrita_."

Her eyes took on a far away look as she translated, "Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself in a dark wood, where the right way was lost."

Our eyes met and held, and a shiver of heat passed between us. I heard her heart rate increase, her breathing became faster, and I could smell a dusky note that I was well acquainted with. Her pupils dilated and out of sheer habit, I exhaled heavily, sending the seductive note of my scent across the table towards her. She leaned closely, her posture shifting, like a delicate dark orchid begging to be pollinated.

My mouth filled with venom, my throat burned for fulfilment, my jaw clenched as I fought for control. My hands were fists under the table and I kept from breathing so that her scent did not drive me to violence. I wanted to tear her clothes off and tear her throat open. I wanted to thrust my cock into her, listening to her cry out as I delicately nipped at her artery, tasting her very essence.

The intensity roared in my ear and my body tensed further. I closed my eyes and looked away from her. She took a shuddering breath and nervously drank her coffee, her hands shaking.

I was able to firmly shut the door and tested myself by breathing in. The fire twisted and burned but I no longer wished to attack her in the middle of the coffeehouse. I let the breath out slowly and looked back at her. She was staring at her coffee cup, her shoulders almost defeated. She had wilted underneath the heat.

I cleared my throat, swallowing more venom, "Bella, do you have a personal level of hell?"

Her eyes looked into mine briefly before she was far away, frustratingly lost in her own thoughts. She laughed sarcastically and staring at a point over my shoulder, she began, "My own personal hell is," she paused, blinked, then shook her head.

She started again, "My own personal hell is asking for a triple shot and getting a weak latte. I mean, _come on_! I think coffee should come in IV form." She raised her eyebrows at me, a small smile playing about her lips. She showed me her left arm and smacked her vein, "Right into the blood. That would be quicker anyways."

Fuck me. It's like she knew what I was thinking.

"Do you have a personal hell, Edward?" she asked, her eyes tentatively meeting mine. The way she said my name rattled the chains I had on my bloodlust.

I took a moment to answer, "Yes, I suppose I do."

She looked at me expectantly, "Well?"

I leaned forward and she mirrored the movement. I stopped breathing, hoping to take the edge off . I stared into her eyes until they glazed.

"Hell is denying everything that you are to enjoy a small piece of ecstasy."

My statement hung in the air between us and I watched her breathe in and out, her pulse unsteady in her throat. I licked my lips and her eyes followed the movement.

I leaned closer to her, "Do you want to get out of here?" I asked darkly.

"Yes," she answered, her voice small.

We stood up at the same time and made our way towards the exit. I opened the door and she walked cautiously through it. I closed my eyes as she stepped close to me to walk out, her hair brushed against my chest.

I followed her out and we walked along the street, a small distance between us. The thick fog enveloped us both. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she walked. I edged closer and our shoulders grazed each other. Her body stiffening, I knew she felt the burn as I did when we connected. She looked at me, her eyes unsure. I offered my arm again and she took it.

"May I drive you home?" I asked, wondering if I would be able to withstand the close proximity of her scent in the car for a longer period.

"I would love that, but I have my bike at the theater, and I don't want to leave it," she answered.

"Well, since we're going the same direction, I'll wait and follow you home. At least allow me to get out and walk you to your door."

Her eyes met mine briefly and she looked away, "Ok."

We were back at my car and I opened the door for her. She thanked me as she sat down and I closed it behind her. I was around the other side and in the driver's seat, slowly sliding the key into the ignition. The car purred to life as I shifted and drove us back to the theater. Before I could move, she was opening the door and getting out. She turned and leaned back in.

"I'll see you back at the street?" she questioned. When I nodded she smiled and then straightened, shutting the door. I waited for her and she went back into the theater. She was in about five minutes and came back out again, holding a bag and wearing her boots. Her bike helmet swung from her other hand.

I watched as she slid onto her bike, straddling the steel. She pulled her hair up into a twist and popped the helmet over her head. Making sure her leather jacket was zipped, she kicked the bike, turning it on and into submission between her thighs. I revved the engine behind her in answer and the bike helmet glinted back at me underneath the streetlight as she looked over her shoulder at me.

She started down the street and I pursued her from behind, the fog twisting and revealing her dark form ahead of me. The street lights haunted the road as we drove through the town and over the bridge. She guided the bike along the street, and I watched her ride that silver beast all the way home.

I parked the Vanquish in my driveway as she opened her garage door with a switch. There were two vehicles parked inside, one covered in blue tarp. The other a shiny red lexus. This must the housemates car.

I quickly made my way across the street as she stepped out of the garage. She had left the bike helmet sitting on the blue tarp and had closed the garage door behind her. She waited in the middle of the drive, watching me walk over to her. I could hear her breathing accelerate again and her heartbeat thumped loudly in her chest. I wondered if it was me or the bike ride.

I caught up with her and we walked side by side to the door. As we ascended the steps, I could feel anticipation building between us. She turned at the door, looking up at me.

Waiting.

She bit her lip, "Thanks for the rain check."

I searched her eyes, frustration at her quiet mind making me tense, "It was my pleasure. We should do this again, sometime, Bella."

Her eyes took on a faraway look, and she braced herself against the side of the house. Unable to resist I stepped towards her. Her instincts had her stepping back, until she was pressed against the porch wall. Her mouth formed a small 'O', as I stepped closer to her. I titled my head and she licked her lips, her chest heaving in fear and arousal.

"Don't move," I whispered and swallowed the venom in my mouth. I edged in and brushed my mouth against her lips. My instincts screamed at me. I braced a hand on the wall near her head and leaned in, fully connecting my mouth hers. I swallowed her gasp as we touched. I could feel it pool in my stomach, clenching, the electric charging as lightning struck us both. Her mouth was hot, wet, and open. I tasted her, my tongue delving between her lips and touching hers. She answered by touching mine back, shyly at first and then leaning closer, moving with me, as we attempted to devour each other. Her hands were grabbing my jacket, and my other hand cupped her jaw, as I pressed against her. Her body moved against mine, pulsing, pushing until I had to break away from her.

We stood there, panting, her breath, her scent, mingling with mine. I stopped breathing to keep my own beast at bay. She recovered, blinking, and then slid along the wall away from me. Her hands shook as she stumbled towards the door.

"Good night, Bella." I said, my voice velvety smooth.

"G-good night," she stuttered. She opened the door and shut it behind her. I heard her lean against the door and slowly slide her body down the wood.

I smiled broadly and walked back towards my own home.

* * *

**A/N**

**Curious to see what you think of EPOV. xo**

**All these new readers, all the love, all the support, all the giggles on twitter. I am in awe. Thank you. Srsly.**

**Big heaping thanks to saltire884 for the lovely banner she made me for IA. Will post link on profile when I get a chance to upload it.**


	5. Chapter 4: Wandering Child

**A/N**

**So Stephenie Meyer owns all the twilight stuff. Something tells me there is a hidden lemon somewhere on her hard drive…or a lime. I mean COME ON!.**

**Holy Fuck! Incubus was reviewed and Rec'd and loved up on by Larac and JAG at Random Acts of Rob (link will be up shortly on my profile). I heart you ladies for that, I kinda fell out of my chair and perhaps made a very un ladylike noise when I saw it tweeted. Jesus.**

**Thank you to the beautiful and brilliant lambcullen for her made pink penning on pervward. We are both sated and glowing from you. And he's licking his chops. **

**Thanks for being so patient with me and this. Promise updates will come a bit faster and durtier.**

**Music for this:  
****Lack of Color: Death Cab for Cuteh  
****Cover Me: Bjork  
****Sinner Man: Nina Simone  
****Hey You: Pink Floyd  
****All Is Full of Love: Bjork & Death Cab for Cuteh Cover**

* * *

_Wildly my mind beats against you, yet my soul obeys. -Wandering Child, Phantom of the Opera_

BPOV

I watched as he grunted, lifting and thrusting forward. His hands full of bedroom furniture, the burly mover moved forward, working with his partner to angle the bed down the staircase.

I cringed, as I heard him knock the wood along the wall but figured the leftover paint in the garage would touch it up so long as he didn't put dents in. Jessica flapped all over the place, directing over mountains of labelled brown boxes and furniture tagged to be moved.

"Just that bedroom upstairs, you guys. The rest of what needs to be loaded is down here in the living room." She was dressed in jeans and a pink t-shirt, her dark hair swinging in a ponytail at the back of her head. I leaned over the kitchen island drinking my coffee in black yoga pants and a black _Misfits _hoodie. The movers worked quickly after the bigger pieces were loaded. Brown boxes disappeared out the front door until finally the living room was back to normal. Except for the dirty footsteps all over the hardwood flooring.

Jessica walked into the house, her arms folded. Her eyes were slightly filled with tears as she entered the kitchen where I had been hiding.

"We are not doing any girly hugging thing." I said to her wearily.

She laughed as tears spilled down her cheeks, "Bitch!" she spluttered through her tears.

"Skank," I answered back. She stood there, awkwardly, making me sigh loudly.

"Oh alright." I said and walked over to her. She embraced me and squeezed hard.

"I feel bad. I feel like I'm leaving you when you need me here," she sobbed into my hair.

"Jess, shut the fuck up. You know I'm enjoying the single life out here. As soon as you leave I'm gonna buy like six cats. I also have plans to start sexually harassing the mailman. I'll be fine." I scoffed.

She giggled wetly and stepped back from me, "I know you, Bella. I don't want you to fold inwardly. You're always welcome to come and visit me and Tyler."

I shook my head, "No offence, but you guys are kinda nauseating with your kissy kissy thing. I'm happy for you both, but I don't want to be a third wheel."

Her eyes widened, "You would never be a third wheel, Bella. You know Tyler loves you."

"Yeah, I know. But I have my own slightly awkward and epicly fail romance budding right here." I said gesturing towards across the street.

"Oooo! Have you heard from him at all?" she said, distracted.

I took a deep breath, "No. Apparently my smooth seduction skills have struck again." I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up.

"It's only been a few days, maybe he's just shy." she said, trying to mollify me.

Shy. My mind flickered to hands on my skin, his body grinding against me, his mouth on mine. I closed my eyes and gave myself a mental shake.

"Yeah. He's shy." I said, not really agreeing or disagreeing with her.

We stood in silence, as I picked up my coffee mug.

Her cell rang and she answered, "Hi Honey! Yes, I'm just saying bye to Bella…I'll be there in twenty minutes."

She ended the call and put the phone back in her pocket.

"Well, I guess this is it." she said, her mouth lifting in a small sad smile.

"Yeah I guess so." I retorted.

"Take care, Bella. Don't forget you can get me, no matter what the time." She hugged me again, and then left, the front door closing behind her. I moved to the window that looked out onto the driveway. I waved as her sporty little car backed down the driveway and drove out of sight.

I stood at the window for a while, gazing at the street, and then finally scanning the house across from mine. There hadn't been any movement in days. His car had been absent from the street or in the driveway. I was starting to wonder if he was avoiding me.

***

EPOV

Her window was shut tight against the cold, but it did not matter, I was already inside, having found a spare key under the doormat. She lay sleeping peacefully enclosed by fluffy pillows. Her dreams were open, available.

And so were her thighs.

I crept silently towards the bed, shedding my clothes and putting them in a neat pile on her dressing table. Naked, I stared at her, I could feel a pulsing throb from my abdomen to my cock, and a fire breathing down my throat. She shifted in her sleep. I could see that she dreamt of skin on skin, of my mouth on her nipple, and her hands in my hair. My cock leapt at her silent unconscious pleas for fulfilment.

I slowly pulled her cotton shorts down, revealing her sex to my keen eyesight. My cool fingers confirmed my sense of smell, she was wet and ready. I raised her shirt, finding her breasts bare underneath. Her nipples peaked in the cool air and my cooler breath. I breathed across the flesh, making her relax slightly, my smell eliciting a false calm over her.

I palmed her breast, massaging, feeling the warm weight in my hand. My thumb caressed over her nipple, and I watched her blood pool and swell beneath my touch. My other hand reached between her thighs, testing her, and found her flesh slick. Her body ached for me, her spine arching towards me. Her blood whispered to me, a dark opiate that my being instinctually chased.

I whispered into her ear, "Come with me, love."

She obeyed, rising up until she was sitting astride my thighs. Her arms found my shoulders and I lifted her hips, impaling her on my cock. Her head thrown back, she cried out, her pleasure deeply felt. I allowed her movement, my hands guiding her until this only sounds in the room were her pants, and our skin gently clapping a rhythm. I could feel her sex throbbing around me, her pussy wet and pulsing deep inside. She orgasmed in my arms, and I licked the sweat of her essence from between her breasts. I held myself back, controlled my own lustful need.

I laid her back down, her body as limp as a rag doll. Her dark curls settled on the pillow, her dreams an intensity of flashing color. I pulled out of her and shifted until I knelt between her legs. Feeling venom pool at the sound of her blood thumping loudly in her fragile veins, I swallowed but it made the hungry burn worse.

I found my knife in the bedclothes and chased my dragon to her artery, where life beat loudly for me. I made a small incision and heard her gasp. I drank greedily but could hear her thoughts start to clarify. To keep her dazed, I reached between her thighs, inserting one long finger, then another into her wet pussy. She was still sensitive from her first orgasm. I used my thumb on her clitoris to arouse her again, as I lapped at her thigh. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to grab her and suck the very life from her. Finding the strength, I moved my fingers inside her, finding the small place inside that unravelled her mind. Her hips met my hand as my fingers moved and her sighs grew louder, her breath faster, and her blood flowed freely into my mouth as her heart pumped faster.

She came again, her release warm in my hand, her blood a hot elixir in my mouth. I licked her wound, allowing some of my venom to heal her.

She sighed, her heartbeat regulating. My bloodlust sated, I kneeled up and left the bed, my own lust unanswered.

I watched her curl back into sleep as I dressed, my eyes running over her. For a moment I hated her, angry with her. Not because of anything she had done, but because of what she was not.

She was not what I really wanted.

She was not Bella.

***

BPOV

Opening night.

Everyone had their own rituals and paranoid habits. I'd find actors vomiting in the bathrooms or over trashcans. Marcus had a black bandana he reserved for opening nights. Yorkie jerked off in the lighting booth, we all knew not to bother him about two hours before the show. James and Victoria locked his office door for an hour before the pre show meeting. Mike insisted on checking everything I had already checked three times. He also bought me my triple shot, he never forgot, and for this reason alone, I kept him around. Angela was usually so stressed she trembled. She hanged the costumes on their racks backstage, and in true OCD fashion, she measured between each hanger to make sure they were equally distanced apart. If anyone went anywhere near them or her, she screeched at them.

As for me, my rituals were simple. Before I went to the theater I set out one cigarette on my dressing table. I showered and when I was back in my room, I smoked it naked, flicking ashes into an ashtray, my eyes closed as I mentally readied myself for the night. I parted and braided my hair, the long ropes secured with black bands. Once I was at the theater, I pulled my bike inside and parked it near the door. I hated leaving it outside on opening night.

I went through a pre-show mental checklist: mic batteries, mic tests with Yorkie. I checked the blocking tape and made sure the props and set pieces were where they should be. I ticked off my crew members, making sure my team were in and ready to rock. I did a final sweep of the stage, I didn't want any nails or other bits and pieces lying around. Then finally, I perched on my stool, adjusted my headset and closed my eyes. For thirty seconds I emptied my mind to complete darkness, so I could concentrate on the night ahead.

Every opening night I did this.

Only this night I could not. This opening night I felt cool firm lips on mine, my stomach clenching as the ache moved down to between my legs. Strong hands on my chin, a cool thumb moving over my cheek.

My body was no longer my own, as I remembered how easily his touch had possessed me. I pressed against him, wanting more, needing to touch him. He had pressed back, his body hard and fitting the softer contours of mine. We had moved together, briefly, perfectly, and my body was still humming from the contact.

I clenched my thighs together, remembering--

"Swan?…Swan! Turn your goddamn headset on!" James shouted and swore in my ear, his voice like nails on a chalkboard. While the audio had been on, I'd left the mic off. I reached behind me to switch it back on.

"Swan here." I said, trying to keep the disgust out of my voice.

"Swan. Pre-show meeting on stage. Now would be nice." he answered back. God, I fucking hated him.

I swung my legs over and the stool tipped. I fell on my face, my palms smacking the dark floor. The stool fell on my legs and rolled off of me.

Fucking great!

I pushed myself up and dusted off my dark jeans and t-shirt. Mike came up behind me, on his way to the meeting as well. He took my elbow and attempted to help me up.

"Hey Bella! You totally decked it there!"

"Uh huh, good eye Mike," I said, as I shifted out of his grasp. I smoothed my braids over my shoulder and pursed my lips.

"C'mon, Newton. James is looking for us at his preshow prattle." I rolled my eyes at him and Mike snorted. His golden blonde hair was carefully spiked, and his face still seemed to carry puppy fat from teen years ten years gone by. He always wore his t-shirts tucked into his jeans, which really irked me. Who does that?

He tried to walk next to me, but as per usual, he walked way too close, our shoulders brushing. I sighed and rubbed at my chin, which was starting to throb.

"You going to Yorkie's after the show?" he asked, his voice hopeful.

"Haven't decided yet," I answered. Yorkie's apartment was located in an old building on the grittier side of the city. It was a typical bachelor pad with mismatched couches and too many Nintendo's. Yorkie usually smoothed away the pizza boxes and empty beer cans for opening night celebrations. It was a general given that most of the guys in the crew ended up back at Yorkie's passed out from beer and shots. I sighed, not really wanting to be there, it was like hanging out with a bunch of prepubescent boys and they all kinda sat and stared at anything with a hint of boobs and vagina.

Mike and I arrived on stage, the rest of the managers for each department standing idle, waiting for the meeting to begin.

James stood in the middle like a plucked peacock in his ridiculous suit which he had dusted off for the evening. He was wearing what appeared to be the trousers off of a zoot suit along with a matching vest. The color of the pants and vest were a vomit raspberry. Underneath the vest was a white shirt slightly yellowed with age. He had attempted a tie as well, and the moth eaten polyester made him look even more cheap than usual, which I thought was somehow an accomplishment.

I choked on a laugh and to cover the motion, pulled my headset down to rest around my neck.

As James babbled on, I started a mental grocery list in my head. As I ticked off items in the fridge and what I might need in, I heard James say, 'after all, the play's the thing,' and my eyes nearly rolled out of my head. I crossed my arms, wondering why we put up with this drivel show after show.

Because he's the goddam owner, he talks a lot of shit, and he knows it. He is bent on torturing us all.

We all clapped feebly as he eventually drew it to a close then moved back to our respective corners.

Time flew rapidly from there. The routine calmed me as I felt the familiarity and adrenaline rush of a new show being launched.

The curtains were shut, eerily they moved forward, as air inflated them towards the audience.

It was a full house and Victoria squealed twenty minutes to show time that we were sold out.

The actors meandered and whined backstage over lights, costumes and make up. Angela hovered around them, pins in hand.

The show opened and I ticked through lines, watched as set pieces were moved on and off the stage like living silent dragons, coiling in and out of the fog that had been created by the machine backstage.

My mind wandered again to Edward. I had seen all kinds of guys in and out of this theater. Plenty had offered but I always refused. I just didn't want to get caught up in some bullshit relationship, not willing to be vulnerable to someone again.

I was startled out of my thoughts when the lights on the stage went off, signalling the end of the current scene. The curtains were closed and my crew turned on their tiny Mac lights, the bulbs an eerie purple black light as they moved a large set piece onstage.

The guys lining it up onstage and just as they set it down there was a loud metallic snap. I focused my eyes on the piece, and dread slithered down my spine. It was the part of the set I had been welding back together the other day.

_Oh fuck_.

I got up, knowing the whole piece was going to crash. It all happened in slow motion:

The metal snapped, the structure starting to buckle.

Mike was standing underneath, looking up at it, and trying to figure out what was wrong but couldn't see from his angle. I ran straight towards him, as it started to fall. I got to him just as the entire structure tipped, pushing Mike out of the way. But this left me right in front the failing structure. Metal twisted and wood snapped, as it fell on top of me. I felt a slicing caress along my flesh followed by pain, as my arm went cold then warm and wet. A piece of metal hit my head and the dark stage went sideways, leaving me underneath the rubble. I closed my eyes, my heart thundering loudly in my ears, blood rushing, the smell filling my nostrils and then endless black.

***

EPOV

An odd car pulled up in front of her house in the smaller hours before dawn. I hissed, as a man got out of the car and shut the driver's side door. He ran around to the other side where the passenger door was halfway open.

"Bella, let me help you, geez. You're gonna tear open your stitches," he said.

Stitches?

He touched her, making me snarl lowly in my chest, watching as he helped her out of the car.

"I'm fine Mike," she said, her voice was tired, strained.

She attempted to walk on her own, pulling her arm from him. She gasped as her body tensed, her hand going to her arm. My eyes narrowed as I watched the action, wondering who or what had hurt her.

My reaction took me by surprise and I briefly analyzed the word that floated around in my head.

_Mine._

He accidentally brushed her injured arm, making her gasp and I nearly took the door off the hinges about to go out to assist her.

"You should have stayed in the hospital, like the doctor told you to." he muttered by way of apology to her.

"Mike, I'm fucking fine, and I don't need you to baby me. Just give me my bag. I'll be inside, thanks." Her voice was angry and raw.

He reached into the car and pulled out her black bag. He awkwardly handed it to her and she took it from him. The motion caused her to wince, and my eyes narrowed as he watched her limp to the house, dig for her keys and open the door. He sighed in her driveway and finally moved back to his side of the car, when a light came on in the house.

I watched him back his car up and drive away. I had to see her, had to know what had happened to her. But I would have to wait.

***

BPOV

I walked into the house, my head woozy from the drugs they had given me in the hospital. Moving towards the kitchen, I dropped my bag on the counter and went for a glass of water. As I turned on the tap with my left hand, I thought about the last few hours I'd spent in the hospital.

I had protested when they said they wanted to keep me over night. The fuck if I was going to spend the night, listening to beeps and death rattles. My body shuddered painfully as I closed my eyes, swallowing back the gorge in my throat at the thought.

The doctor had been really angry with me when I told him I was going home. He'd said it would be stupid to go home, but I had to promise him that I had someone to look after me once I was there.

I'm a terrible liar. My face was already flushed with anger and fear at having to stay overnight, that he let me go before I got any louder. The fact that I called him a fucking prick probably made him relent as well.

All I wanted to do was sit in front of the TV and zone out. I knew sleep probably wouldn't come, as it usually didn't, so lying on the couch seemed like the next best option. I ran my hand over my hair and winced, hitting a sore spot.

I dug into my bag and pulled out the prescription the doctor has given me for the pain. I downed the pills with the water. Setting the glass down on the counter, I grabbed my phone out of my bag and headed over to the couch in the living room.

At least I hadn't broken anything. I would be bruised from head to toe, no doubt. The worst was the jagged cut along my right arm. I was the proud owner of sixty-eight stitches. I sat down on the couch and laughed, looking down at my boots. I couldn't even take them off, that was a two handed job.

Fuck my life.

I reached for the remote and switched the TV on. The picture blared brightly in the darkened room and I lay back against the cushions, propping my boots on the couch. I smirked, almost hearing Jessica groan at the thought of them crossed on the fabric.

I flipped through the channels but found nothing but infomercials and soft porn. I randomly punched in a number and settled against the cushions.

Sally fucking Jesse fucking Rapheal. And why the fuck was it always the eighties ones where her glasses are visible from space. I sighed as old Sally asked her nosey questions to some poor house frau whose husband wouldn't let her wear makeup.

Too close to home.

I changed the channel, and found re-runs of some old British comedy on public access. Oh Mr Humphries, you cheeky motherfucker.

My eyelids grew heavy and I fleetingly wondered if the pain meds would make me drowsy enough to sleep.

***

EPOV

Time passed, slowly, like a small breath, fulfilling the requirements of distance and space. Although I had fed, I had control of my need, I did not go to see her again. I was frustrated. Frustrated with myself, with the way this desire had possession of every aspect of my existence.

I am the dominant force, I should be in control, but I am not. I have spent the last two decades proving control of my need, my lust for both blood and the body of every victim. They were mine. Could I open the cage and allow the feral monster to be unfettered?

Is it even my choice anymore?

I hated having to question myself and worse, fearing the answers.

It was with these thoughts in my dormant heart that I found myself in front of a shabby apartment building in the sleeting rain. I depressed the buzzer under the name I sought and was quickly let in. I ascended the stairs and raised my hand to knock but found the door open already. I pushed the door open to that apartment. It was unlike the rest of the building, like a portal to some other world.

The walls were painted red, the majority of the furniture black. Marcus sat in one of the tall back leather chairs in front of a small gas fire place, reading some aged tome. His long hair hung loose around his shoulders. He was dressed in a black long sleeved shirt, buttoned but left slightly open at the collar. His legs were crossed, ankle over knee, in dark trousers, his feet wearing what appeared to be slippers. Marcus glanced at me over the top of his book.

_Too what do I owe this pleasure?_

"I've come to ask your advice," I answered.

He nodded, _I see. Well don't clog the doorway, boy. Come and sit._

He motioned towards an empty chair opposite him. I pursed my lips but sat down in the offered seat.

Marcus was a member of the governing hierarchy of vampires. He was ancient, his thousands of years of experience dwarfed my own century. Though he was part of the ruling crown, he struck off on his own, usually. Marcus found no happiness in his lot and enjoyed the isolation from his brethren who lived as a coven together. I had heard he worked alongside the humans, though he did not need to do so, his wealth vast enough to meet his needs for the next millennia. Yet he chose to do so, I think the bond with them provided some sort of medium of contentment for him.

He was also very good friends with my immortal father.

When Marcus had heard I had split from Carlisle he had contacted me. He was not surprised when I had told him the reason why. Marcus confirmed that if I required assistance, he would make himself available. I trusted Marcus, there were no pretences with him.

"I have a problem, Marcus," I stated as I sat down. I watched as he put his book down and continued, "It would appear I have found the allure of something so rich and dark, it entrances me to go outside of my own controlled self."

He raised an eyebrow at me, _Go on. _

"I have found a human that smells differently to me. It is much stronger than anything I have ever come across. Even the smallest dose of her scent and I am beyond rational thought and moral decision."

He looked at me, his mind analyzing what I had said. A phrase whispered through his mind.

_La Tua Cantante._

"My singer? You think I have found my singer?" I asked, appalled.

_It is possible, Edward. Have you tasted her?_

"Not her blood," I replied. My gaze shifted to the flames dancing in the fire, light refracted in a burst of color in them, and my eyesight caught each spark, rainbowed in dazzling effect. The thought of her taste was the same in me, shifting and breaking through my veiled animalistic instincts.

I looked back at him, my eyes finding his dark ones, "I cannot hear her, Marcus. She is silent to me."

His eyebrows raised together in surprise.

_How absolutely intriguing. If I could see you together, I could tell you straightaway. _

Marcus' immortal ability was to be able to see the bond between beings, like a dark ribbon wrapped around them. Each relationship had its own unique and complex texture, color, and shape.

"I don't know how to proceed, Marcus. She is totally different to anything I have ever come across." I looked at him as he listened to me. He nodded, understanding.

_This may be an opportunity for you, Edward. You have been living this way for a while now. Perhaps it's time for you to really test yourself. _

I sighed deeply and he smirked at me. My hands found my knees as I contemplated what he had said. I needed to mull over his thoughts in my own space. I rose to leave but heard him behind me as I moved towards the door.

_Let me know how you get on, Edward. I am interested to see how this turns out. _

I nodded and made my way out of his apartment, returning to my car. I turned the engine on and the lights caught the busy sleet as it fell towards the ground.

When I returned home, I could smell her, a trail led to my front door. There, taped on the painted wood was a note.

_Hi Edward_

_As you know, Thanksgiving is this Thursday. Do you still want to come over for wine and nibbles? I thought seven would be a good time to start. I'll see you then._

_~Bella_

_PS: Here is my number if you need to reach me._

She had detailed her number at the bottom of the page.

I sniffed the paper, the exquisite scent of her filled my nostrils. I closed my eyes briefly, wondering if I could last an entire evening with her and her nibbles. I wondered, briefly, if she would willingly participate in the nibbles I had in mind.

No matter what that answer was, I would be there tomorrow evening.

***

BPOV

The last week had been fucking horrible. And not because of any pain or because my arm was constantly on fire.

No, it was the sitting around the house as a useless idiot while Mike, of all people, ran my stage. I had been told to rest while I healed, and James had banned me from the theater, in case I tried to do anything stupid like lift a set piece or handle a power tool.

And my bike, my baby, was still at the theater.

So I because I had chain smoked in the house I ended up having to uncover my other child in the garage. My 1967 Ford Mustang. It was slick and black with whispy blue flames on the hood and flowing from the tire wells. The pony car was also fully restored and pimped out enough to make Xhibit O-Face. Pulling the tarp off one handed had been fun. But the trip was necessary as I needed nicotine and a coke Slurpee. Which ended in an epic fail moment in the convenient store, while I had tried to juggle the cup and the Slurpee machine. Seeing as my left arm was totally useless, I couldn't seem to position the cup, without getting Slurpee all over the place. The guy behind the counter had ended up having to come over and help me.

What sort of loser can't pour their own Slurpee?

Once at home, I spent my time with my laptop, surfing for what, I didn't know. I tried to resist Googling Jake. It was so hard and all the free time I had made the temptation worse. I even typed his name into the little box and watched the cursor mock me, as my finger hovered over the enter key.

I highlighted and deleted it though. I did, however, Google Edward Cullen.

Not much really came up, nothing interesting anyways. I sighed, wondering why he still hadn't made any attempt to contact me. Why would he kiss me like that and then not even call or ask me for another dry hump?

Maybe I had been too much for him and he was avoiding me to save me some sort of embarrassment. I groaned, running my hand through my air and then swore, forgetting about my stitches.

Maybe it was up to me to make the next move. I was the one who had stood him up for the first time and then fulfilled my obligation for coffee. We still hadn't made a concrete plan for Thanksgiving and it was only a couple days away. I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering what I should do.

Finally, I stood up and allowed myself to be impulsive. I decided I was gonna have to take the bull by the horns and make the next move. I ran out in the sleet, my hair flying behind me, catching cold icy rain drops. I flew up to his door and fastened the note with a piece of tape.

Electricity moved through me, wondering if he would accept my invitation.

***

EPOV

I knocked on her door, a bottle of wine in my hands. I felt like 80 years had been erased and I was just some normal human looking forward to 'wine and nibbles'. I stood waiting on her doorstep, the seductive vapors that are uniquely her wrapped around me like a lover's embrace. I closed my eyes momentarily and then opened them, hoping the bright red of my iris had faded enough so she wouldn't notice the inhumanity of them.

She opened her door, and the sight of her, the sound, the smell, and a lingering bouquet of her taste hit me fully. She smiled and smoothed her hands over dress then looked back up at me. She was like some modern day Bettie Paige with her dark hair swept back behind her, her bangs curling gently over her forehead. The dress she wore had a mock turtle neck and the black material hugged every curve from her delicate shoulders, over her generous breasts, cutting in at her narrow waist and back out again at her hips. The dress ended just below her knee and she wore black stilettos on her small feet. Her lips were painted bright red.

My eyes were drawn to the small line of stitches that peeked out from underneath a bandage tucked under the sleeve on her left arm. It was like seeing Pandora open her box, spread her legs, and all the evils of my world suddenly wanted to escape.

Escape and sink into her skin, my tongue following that vein straight to her neck.

Escape and have her against the wall, lapping at her flesh while she cried out as my cock entered her, her legs wrapped around me.

"Hi Edward. Did you want to come in?"

Christ, she had no idea how much I wanted to come in.

* * *

**A/N**

**But we do, don't we ladies? Hmmm? **

****As I said above, updates will hopefully be faster, I apologize and hope you all had a Happy New Year****

**Come follow me on twitter elusivekoolaid **

**For those of you who have never seen Mr Humphries in action on Are You Being Served? You must. He is hoolarious.**

**BTW: Posted a few oneshots. First was wandward (Secure Entrance)…then modelward (Model Behavior) as part of the auction lemon up for grabs and gropes for the fandom gives back! Check'em out. **


	6. Chapter 5: Blood Wedding

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the twilight stuff, and she also pwns me. Epically.**

**Om nom nom nom thanks to lambcullen for pink penning pervward for me. She holds my hand during the emopanda moments. She's the blanket to my Linus.**

**Big leg humping thanks to snshyne who agreed to preread for me at the last minute. I love you hard.**

**Music for this Chapter:  
****Stronger: 30 Seconds to Mars (Kanye cover)  
****I Want You: Madonna & Massive Attack  
My Sweet Prince: Placebo  
****Right Where It Belongs: Nine Inch Nails (version 2)**

* * *

'_I must be going mad! I have yet to eat your bread nor lay down with you and yet there is not a single moment all day that I do not long for you.' Act iii, Scene i. (The Blood Wedding by Federico Garcia Lorca)_

BPOV

At precisely seven, the doorbell rang. I walked to the front door, my legs shaky. I smoothed my dress over my thighs with my hands, wiping the nervous sweat from them. I opened the door and lost my breath.

Edward stood there, his pale skin flawless in the porch light. It was like he'd stepped out of some magazine and onto my front door step. He was wearing black jeans, a white button down shirt and a long, skinny black tie. A black leather jacket hung open over his shirt, and it made a delicious sound when he moved.

We stood there for a moment drinking each other in. His eyes were hungry, as he looked at me. I bit my lip, wondering if this was courtesy or something else that had placed him here. Finally, I realized I was barring him from entering the house.

"Hi Edward. Did you want to come in?"

He nodded, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips.

EPOV

Her heartbeat had increased steadily, as I moved closer to her. I watched the pulse at her neck flutter, when she opened the door wider to allow me inside.

This would be a test for me. Would I be able to make it through this night without draining her? Would I shirk the need to feed completely? Could I enjoy this creature for the mere pleasure of her existence? It had been a long time since I had sought something more than food or satisfaction from mortal or immortal.

"May I take your coat?" she inquired. I nodded, shrugging out of it and watching, as she opened a small closet in the foyer and placed my coat on a hanger. Her movements were mortal but so very fluid, beckoning my hands, my mouth, my teeth.

She was speaking, talking about the wine she had bought, hoping I preferred red, but that she had white on hand if I preferred.

"Red is my usual preference," I spoke quietly, trying not to breathe in excess, as I felt my control slip minutely. She pulled a corkscrew out of a drawer, but as she tried to open the bottle with her injured arm, she repeatedly winced. I could smell the wound starting to re-open as she struggled.

I stepped behind her, smelling her hair. My arms were around her, lifting the corkscrew from her grasp. She stood still, her backside pressed to my front, as I deftly opened the bottle. There was a loud pop as the cork was pulled, making her jump. I placed the bottle back on the counter and dropped my arms.

Her neck beckoned, and I could feel her trembling in front of me. I leaned down, smelling her skin and she shivered. I started to breathe over her, hoping my scent would calm her racing heart.

"I'll um…I'll just get some glasses for the wine." She shook herself, as she moved away from me. The heat from her body singed me still, and I felt the loss of her comforting warmth, when she moved towards a cupboard. She stood on her toes, and lifted two delicate crystal wine glasses from a top shelf. Her hands were shaking, as she placed them on the countertop. Her eyes met mine and the air paused around us, neither one of us able to look away.

Her arm moved, as if in slow motion towards the wine. Before she could lift the bottle, I held it over each glass, pouring some of the dark liquid into the crystal. Our eyes never broke and the space between us vibrated to the point where I felt it move through my own dark interior. She licked her lips, and my eyes followed the motion. Her hand reached for her glass and the tension broke as she slipped the glass started to tip over. My reaction stopped it, my hand covering hers. She gasped and pulled hers back. I had forgotten the temperature of my flesh would be different to hers.

"You're frozen!" her eyes were wide as she looked at my hand. "Come and sit by the fireplace." She took my wrist and I picked up my glass, as she led me into the living room.

I could smell it as soon as I entered the house. Human food held little interest to me. The thought of eating anything from the table disgusted me. The fare sitting next to me on the couch smelled so much more delectable.

She stood up, her hands shaking again and indicated the table, "Um. Help yourself to what's there. I kind of made a few odds and ends. If you're not sure, those are mini pumpkin tarts, those are little vol-au-vents with various fillings and some cold meats and cheeses."

"Bella, sit down and relax. I'm not going to bite." I smirked inwardly at my little joke.

She planted herself back on the couch and took a drink from her wine glass. I left my own idle on the table. The fireplace roared deliciously, and I could feel it slowly warming my skin. I was trying to think of a suitable topic of conversation, when I saw her try to tug her sleeve over her injury. I licked my lips, swallowing venom.

"How is your latest production going at the theater?" I asked, hoping this was safe enough.

"Oh." She blinked, before continuing, her hand absently rubbing her injury, "Well, I wouldn't really know. I was injured opening night, and they won't let me back until I'm fully healed."

I played dumb, "Injured?"

She bit her lip, "Um yeah. My arm is the worst, but I got some pretty rad bruises as well." I watched as she blushed.

"What happened?" I shifted on the couch, closer to her by an inch but was deeper into the cushions, making it look like I was trying to be more comfortable.

"There was a piece of scenery that we had problems with the welding on," she picked up her wine glass and took a sip, "I had tried to fix it a few weeks back, and thought it had been sturdy enough. I was wrong and during a scene change, the whole thing crumbled. I had to push one of my crew aside, but it fell on top of me." She took another sip of her wine, and I tried not to watch her throat work as she swallowed.

Something stirred in me, the thought of her lying underneath a pile of broken metal. Part of it was fascination; her blood fresh and delicately flowing was one of the pictures that ran through my mind. The other part of my sudden interest was like a tiny hiss of outrage, arcing through the darker recesses of my mind. This reaction surprised me. Was I _worried_?

"May I see your arm?" I was appalled, as the words fell from my lips. She rolled her sleeve up. She had no idea she was unconsciously beating the bars on the cage of the hungry lion.

She held her arm out to me and I closed my eyes as I bent over her. I took her hand in mine as I examined the stitches holding her flesh together. The wound was clean, the skin healthy. She was lucky it had missed the major artery that ran down her arm. I licked my lips again.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, not looking up at her. I didn't need to. I could hear her heart thumping loudly in her chest, sending dark sweet nectar throughout her delicious body. I resisted the urge to taste her, my tongue smoothing over the ridges of her skin, tasting the thread, the creamy delicate flavor of her flesh, before breaking her open with my teeth.

"Sometimes," was her answer. It reverberated in my mind, down long corridors that have been bleak for a very long time.

I caressed her uninjured wrist with my thumb, and delighted as goose bumps broke out over her skin. I gave her arm back to her, as opening old wounds on her first glass of wine would be terribly gauche of me.

She placed her arm back in her lap, but her hand absently traced where mine had been. Several emotions crossed her face, and I nearly huffed in frustration, as her silent mind continued its defenses.

"What is it?" I asked out of frustration, staring into her dark chocolate eyes.

She ran her hand nervously through her hair, licking her lips before speaking, "Look. I don't want to play guessing games. I need to know where I stand with you."

I raised an eyebrow at her and leaned back against the couch, "And by that, you mean?"

She paused as if she scented danger in the air around her. Did she want an in-depth answer to her question?

"I-I just need to know. Because you-you kissed me. Then I didn't hear from you," she stuttered.

"Bella. Did you enjoy yourself?" I questioned, shifting closer to her again. I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear. She turned her head as my wrist passed by her nose.

"Y-yes." she answered in a whisper.

I leaned closer to her and stopped, testing myself. I tasted the air, allowing her scent in my nose and in my lungs, making sure I could be close to her. Like a buckle laced and settled, my control was secure, as I moved infinitesimally closer to her.

"Then why question it?" I asked, running my nose along her jaw. She inhaled and her eyes closed. My arm crept around her waist slowly. I could feel the warmth of her skin, the curve of her waist that melted to her hip. She was still, as I moved closer to her. Bella's only movement was the contractions of her chest, and the flutter of her pulse.

I moved closer, listening to her heart rate increase. I blew against the skin of her neck and listened. Her heartbeat continued to increase. This was all new to me, usually my prey were dreaming, were already seduced in their dreams, and open to suggestion. I paused over the pulse in her throat, my arm angling over her side and up her back supporting her. Bella leaned back, accepting my presence next to her, exposing her neck to me.

I licked my lips and inched closer to her throat. I made my choice. I kissed her pulse, laying a wet kiss on her neck. She sighed, the breath she'd been holding expelled, and her scent was all around me. I wanted to bathe in it, and for a moment I thought of her blood, warm and dark. A taste, the monster screamed, pooling on tongue, running down my chin. I resisted and kissed her again, moving higher to right below her ear. She whimpered as I captured her earlobe, savoring the texture.

She moved then, her hands creeping slowly up my chest, measuring and weighing. She turned in my arms, her eyes connecting with mine. One of her hands slid up to my neck, as I ghosted over her soft cheek. She shifted, pressing closer, her other hand now on my chest, her eyes hooded. I skimmed a hand over her cheek, cupping her jaw, angling her head towards mine.

Her lips were soft and warm. I couldn't resist running my tongue over her full bottom one. I inhaled her breath as our mouths connected. Her mouth was utterly intoxicating, just as it had been the last time we had kissed. Sensual, exotic, sweet, and so very much a small part of what her exquisite taste must be like.

My throat burned, as her tongue shyly touched mine. Her hand floated up my neck and into my hair. I pulled at her waist, trying to gently move her closer. Ever mindful of my dominating strength, I did not want to crush my new acquisition.

It was all a test on the expandability of my control, and it was expensive. The taste of her, as she arched against me, was reeling and the beast growled, begged, pleaded for more. To taste her this way was the appetizer.

How much longer could I wait for the main course?

I could feel her pushing against my chest again ,and I allowed her to breathe, panting against me. I listened to her heart trying to escape her ribs. My arms were slack, as she pushed out of them and escaped to the other side of the couch. She looked at me, her eyes accusatory. I couldn't help but smirk at her.

She started to run a hand through her hair and winced, as she raised her injured arm. She settled for reaching across to her wineglass. Her hand shook, as she held it to her bruised ruby lips. There was something erotic about watching her drain the dark liquid from her cup.

She jumped when the phone rang. Taking a shaky breath, she set her glass down.

"Excuse me." She got up to leave, and I watched the movement of her body as she walked away, warmth and supple and delectable.

I sat back on the couch, but my cock wondered why we were wasting this amount of time on a conquest. I adjusted him, closing my eyes briefly. This was not our usual siege; the battle would have to be laid strategically and slowly, seducing the gate open before enjoying the prize within. It was not so much about conquest, and I was just starting to touch my scope on this.

I heard the distinctive sound of a lighter being flicked. There was a pause, the sizzle of burning paper and ember, then the characteristic of tobacco smoke burning into the air. Although she was trying to keep her voice low, I could hear her voice hushed in the kitchen, as she spoke to her caller.

"No. No, you cannot come over here…fuck off. Yes, I'm well aware of what today is. Shouldn't you be spending it with your _family_…Well that's where you're wrong…I am not alone…Damn fucking straight, sunshine…Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to entertain my guest…good fucking bye!"

I raised an eyebrow. This was interesting. I had not considered she may already have someone vying for her affections. No matter. It is unfortunate for whoever this mortal was, she was _mine. _

I listened as she made her way back into the living room. She poured herself another glass of wine wherein she took another swallow. Carefully, she lowered herself down onto the couch.

"Sorry about that," she sighed.

The air was quiet around us, the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace breaking it up as well, as the metronome of her heartbeat.

"What were you like as a child, Bella?"

She blinked and reached for her wine glass again. She sipped, as she contemplated the answer to my question.

"I grew up in Phoenix, for the better part of my childhood, and then moved to Bumfuck, USA when I was 13. My mother re-married, and I went to stay with my dad ,who is the chief of police there. I was a bit of a tomboy, although I sucked at sports. I used to play little league soccer when I was in Phoenix," she paused to snicker and take another sip of her wine. "My coach invented a position at the back of the field, as I tripped over my feet or the ball more often than not."

"What do you mean at the back of the field?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

Bella bit her lip, "Well, I had the box position. My coach made me stand in this imaginary box, away from most of the game play, so I wouldn't be in the way. That way I got plenty of field time, but I didn't trip myself or the other players."

Although she was smiling, I could see a deeper well of hurt within her, "You were a child."

She sighed and smiled a half smile, "Weren't we all, once? What about you? What were you like as a child?"

For a moment I was briefly taken aback. This was not a question that had been posed to me before. I dug through my mind, into the haze where my mortal memories lay sleeping.

"I was fascinated by my father. He was a blue-collar worker, and my mother was a school teacher. They died when I was young." Young being twenty-five, but comparatively with the years since, it was a long time ago. I reached for my own glass and shuddered, as the taste of fermented grapes worked down my throat. The monster protested, and I confirmed internally that pretenses must be kept if both of us were to be satisfied.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes darkening. Not with pity, something deeper reflected in her eyes, and I wondered for the millionth time to read her thoughts.

"Yes, well. This is the way of the world sometimes. I was-" I struggled to find a suitable word, "adopted into a larger family. I studied at medical at Dartmouth-"

"Medical?" she asked, her voice high pitched.

I tilted my head, fascinated by her reaction, "Yes. Medical."

"How old are you?"

"I'm old enough."

She let that lie, taking another drink from her glass. "So, do you have any hobbies?"

_Currently my hobby is imagining you naked and writhing with lust, while I drain a pint of your blood from your femoral artery. _

I swallowed the venom with more fermented fruit, "I play the piano to relax."

Her eyes lit up, "Oh wow! I would love to hear you play sometime. I love piano music." she blinked, and raised her glass to her lips.

"Maybe sometime, Bella. Certainly I will reciprocate your invitation. You must come over to mine sometime. I would love to have you." I looked at her intently and watched her eyes change at my gaze. The air froze around us, and it felt like even the dust particles in the air slowed.

Her heartbeat echoed through the room for me, stuttering and then speeding. Her eyes were locked with mine, neither of us able to look away.

She blinked, trying to deny what simmered below the surface. I allowed myself to breathe in, smelling her mouth-watering arousal. I wanted to rip the dress from her body and explore every inch of her, as she watched me taste all of her secrets.

She closed her eyes, attempting to break the pull and took a shuddering breath.

"Edward," her voice was strained with need, "I need to know, ok. I've never, like, really done this whole relationship thing from scratch-"

"Bella," I was by her side, and she gasped at my abrupt appearance from the opposite side of the couch. I decided thinly veiled honesty was the best approach.

"Bella, this is unusual for me as well. I generally don't have time for relationships. I find they are not worth my while. But I feel that there is something here, when I touch you." I stroked my finger slowly down the delicate skin of her neck, over her pulse, which beat erratically. It was like fire ran from her skin, sizzling through my vacant veins and down to my groin. I pressed closer still again, "I know you can feel it too, Bella. Tell me you do."

"I do." she whispered without hesitation, her pupils darkening, as I leaned over her.

"Christ, I have only just tasted you, and you're all that my sanity clings to Bella," I muttered lowly.

"You what?"

I didn't answer her with words; the need for her had not reached a point where words could not describe what I meant. My mouth was on hers, and she leaned against the couch cushions at the side, her body angled over throw pillows.

She responded to me, her mouth taking my lip between hers and sucking hard, her little teeth rasping over it. My knee was between hers, as I cupped her face with my hands, holding her as we opened our mouths to each other. My tongue tasting, possessing and she arched against me, pressing closer. I put more of my weight on her and she sighed deliciously.

One of my hands left her face to stroke down her neck, touching her pulse briefly. Slowly, I lowered my fingers, over her collarbone, tracing it through the knitted material of her dress. Her bones seemed fragile, and I knew I had to only slightly increase the pressure, and my tiny bird would shatter in my hands.

I explored lower, questing, waiting for protest. Finding none, I circled the curve of her breast until she arched her back into my hand. The motion was pleading, and I obliged, palming the weight of her, stroking over cloth, seeking her nipple. She gasped as my thumb found the hardened peak, and the scent of her arousal filled my lungs. A low rumble came from my throat, the beast within asking for a taste. I don't know if she heard me or not but her hips moved against the leg I had between hers.

She sighed as I continued my exploration, my hand leaving her breast to her side. I squeezed her hip and she undulated beneath me, her body crying out. Her tongue was soft against mine as I continued to taste her mouth. Her heart pounded loudly, her blood ringing in both our ears.

My hand slipped to her thigh, to the edge of her dress. I paused, lifting my mouth from hers.

"Open your eyes and look at me, Bella."

I waited for her to do so. Slowly, they fluttered open, her liquid brown met my dark ones, both of us hungry. Her breaths were short as she gulped for air, her hips moved against me of their own accord when I shifted slightly.

"I'm going to touch you," My hand went up her dress and cupped her sex over her thong, "here." She gasped, her eyes going wide. I bit down on my teeth, making my jaw tick. Her eyes watched the movement and flickered back to my eyes.

I took a breath, her scent possessing me, "Tell me you want this."

A multitude of emotions flitted across her features and I flexed my fingers slightly in frustration. She whimpered under my touch.

"Tell me." I said, my voice curling around us.

I moved my hand again, but this time she pushed back against my palm, "Please."

I removed my hand from under her dress, her eyes still in mine. I kissed her lips, her cheek and shifted to her ear.

Again, my hand was on her thigh and I slowly slid it up her smooth skin. Her breathing was shallower as I moved my hand up slowly, her dress shifting higher. I reached the apex of her thighs and her dress rode high.

"Open your legs, love." I whispered in her ear.

She complied slowly, and I leaned up to watch her face, as my fingers slid over her. She closed her eyes, and I pressed against her, running a finger over her wet thong. She made a frustrated sound. I smiled, knowing she wanted more. I kissed the pulse point at her throat, as my fingers ran beneath the fabric. Her heart skipped and thundered back, when I pressed my nose to her throat.

_Just one small taste…_

I tasted the skin of her neck, my teeth dangerously close as my fingers explored. I stroked over her wet sensitive flesh, and found a spot that made her breathing hitch. I ran my fingers over it lightly, as she whimpered, her hips twitching under my ministration.

She moaned as I moved closer to her clit. I leaned up to capture her mouth and my tongue stroked over hers as my finger moved over the sensitive knot of flesh. She bucked against my hand and I captured the tiny moans she panted with my mouth. I could smell her getting wetter, the intoxicating perfume seducing the hold I had on my demon.

_Taste her. _

I stroked faster, my nose close to her major artery again, she panted, her breath breaking, her hips moving with my hand. I moved my thumb over her clit, mindful of her delicate flesh. She was building and my cock pulsed with ancient greed to be inside her.

_Take her. _

I moved my hand, and my finger circled her opening; I tested her. My finger slowly slid inside, and her hips met me halfway. I slid my finger back inside, stroking over the spot that caused her breathing to hitch. I caressed quickly, adding a second finger, until she was meeting the rhythm I set with my hand. Her cries were louder, as she got closer and closer to the edge. Her face was flushed, her neck arched, and I could feel smaller flutters inside her. Her muscles clenched she arched her back, and I watched as she came, her hips flexing and moving as she rode out her orgasm. I kissed her neck, her face, her ear.

_Do it now. _

I found the will to lock the cage, to tame myself and watched as she sat in the afterglow. Her breathing slowly returned to normal, her heartbeat gentling in her chest. Her eyes were closed and a faint flush glowed on her cheeks.

She licked her lips and I removed my hand, her lips expelling a small whimper.

"I'm going to get you a towel, love. I'll be right back."

I disentangled myself from her and found my way into the kitchen. My cock was frustratingly unsatisfied but I adjusted, knowing that I would have to wait. I didn't want to push her too far, but knowing that eventually she would be mine would make the consummation intense.

I found a clean towel folded in a kitchen drawer and ran warm water over it. Bringing it back swiftly to her, I cleaned her up, running the towel between her legs. She lay compliant, her eyes still closed.

I took the towel away, leaving it in her laundry room off of the kitchen.

The fire still burned in the hearth, creating moving shadows over the room. I looked at her lying there on the couch, her dress still hiked up around her thighs. I knew she wasn't asleep.

Should I hold her? Would she want to be held?

I sat back down on the couch, unsure. I decided I would take her shoes off, and I placed them on the floor underneath the coffee table. I stretched back out beside her, my back pressed to the back of the couch. Tentatively I positioned my arm around her. Her breathing paused, before she put her hand on my shoulder. It found its way into my hair, combing gently through the back. The sensation was, surprisingly pleasing. She rolled towards me, trying to pull her dress down. I helped her smooth the fabric back over her thighs. We moved together, her legs tangling with mine while she got comfortable. She grabbed a handful of my shirt and anchored herself to me, her head resting on my chest. I stilled, wondering if she would notice I didn't have a heartbeat, but she made no mention of it.

"Edward?" her voice was no more than a whisper in the flickering darkness.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Thank you." I could hear the blush in her words.

I tried to suppress the small laugh that escaped my lips, "You're welcome."

Closer. She seemed to want to be closer to me. Her arms tightened and I wondered who was holding whom.

This was all very new to me. The experience of satisfying her while she was awake and aware of her faculties had been amazingly gratifying. Usually I am dependent upon the invitation of thought and dreams before I chose any quarry. But to actively pursue, while blinded. This game is much more interesting and I am much more invested in it.

Fear was a strange bedfellow for me. Could I afford to lose the parts of myself I have developed over the last century? Could I allow light into places inside me I had allowed to grow dim? A modicum of human instinct and emotion existed somewhere within me. Could the caged beast exist alongside my dormant human self?

I contemplated these issues into the smaller hours of the morning, Bella lay silent beside me. Her fingers absently explored my chest over my shirt. My body was warmed by her body heat and after circling it over and over in my mind, I finally admitted that it felt…nice.

Eventually her breathing evened out, her body relaxed and her fingers stilled over my silent heart. I looked down at her, wondering at her silent dreams. I watched her sleep, and my finger traced the small scar on her cheek.

I drew in a deep breath, filling myself with her scent. I pursed my lips, the sensation heaven and hell. I felt my jaw tick again. Surely she would prefer her bed. With that thought I was lifting her from the couch and moving towards her bedroom. Shouldering the door open, I cradled her closely to my chest and laid her on top of the covers. There was a small blanket at the bottom of the bed and I spread it over her, hoping that would be enough to keep her warm.

As soon as that thought flitted across my brain, I knew I had enough of feeling human for the evening. The beast laughed at me. I opened her window, escape my only concern when I heard her sigh in her sleep.

"Edward…"

I closed my eyes and turned away.

* * *

**A/N**

**Oh God. Review?**


	7. Chapter 6: Ebenezer Scrooge

**A/N**

**So the usuals Steph Meyers is an angel who owns all the Twilight stuff and when she was looking the other way I snuck Edward out the backdoor and down a darker alley. **

**Many thanks to lambcullen for her skills with a pink pen…among other things…you pwn me, but you knew that.**

**Snshyne, you are a wee star and I really appreciate your pre-reading super powers. **

**Song List for this Chapter:  
****Parabola: Tool  
****Why Don't You Do Right: Peggy Lee  
****I Dreamt of Edward: Carter Burwell  
Phascination Phase: Carter Burwell**

**

* * *

**

_"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change." -A Christmas Carol, _Charles Dickens_. _

***

BPOV

Jesus Pole Dancing Christ.

Why? Why did I let him touch me like that? He's gonna think I'm some sort of overly easy horny divorcee.

I took another swing at the body bag, my hands taped up. The satisfaction of my fist hitting the bag reverberating up my arm.

I felt my face turn beet red every time I thought of the way his fingers had touched me. Jake had never shown that much interest in me. He was more of a wham bam and rollover-snore kind of guy. At least I knew what to expect.

The sweat gathered and dripped between my breasts. I could feel the stitches straining in my arm, but I didn't give a fuck.

And then for me to lay there like some kind of idiot and not even offer, what, like, a hand job? Oh God. I just want to crawl into a hole and fucking die. How was I ever going to go out and collect my mail again?

That was it, I had to move. Moving was an option.

I pulled in my fists and kicked the bag with my foot, feeling a squeeze of muscle in my abdomen.

Who the fuck was I running from? I was here first. He should move.

I panted, the workout making me feel better. If I was gonna beat the shit out of myself mentally, I might as well take it out on something. _Parabola_ blared in the background and I tried to focus on the Tool song and drown out the thoughts in my head.

I had this room designed when I first moved into the house. After the divorce, and Jessica helped me move in, I knew I had to do something. I was angry all the fucking time. I didn't want to take pills, music was no longer an outlet, and the fuck if I was going to therapy. It was actually Tyler, Jessica's fiancé who had suggested it. He was some sort of sports medicine guru kickboxing fanatic. I snorted, remembering the way I had allowed him free reign on designing a training room/studio. He had attacked it like a little kid in a toy shop. He wouldn't let me see anything at the time, and when he finally had the room finished, it was like he was taking me to fucking church. I had to admit, he had done a great job. There were mirrors all along one wall, a weight machine and treadmill along another wall. The room was on the back of the house and had large windows that looked out onto the backyard area. The floor was padded and springy on one side of the room, and the training dummy sat on that side. The punching bag was bright red and hung from a steel chain from the ceiling.

Repeatedly I beat at the bag, landing kicks that hurt, but the pain felt good. I kept going until I was a sweaty panting mess on the floor. If I didn't smoke like a goddam chimney, it would probably be a bit easier. Fuck me, I would pay for this later, soreness in my muscles but I almost looked forward to it.

Christ, I need to go back to work. At least that was some sort of routine. Banging around in this house was driving me crazy.

Taking a deep cleansing breath, I pulled a towel around my neck and unwrapped the tape from my hands. The decision to work out was probably a very stupid thing to do with my arm. The wound was already starting to throb. I needed to do something, though, while my thoughts buzzed in my head like hornets.

Heading into the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I padded towards the stairs, passing the front door en route. I noticed the mail truck pulling away. I took another swig from the bottle, and squared my shoulders.

I was gonna have to face the music at some point. He's probably not at home. Mr Fucking Medical Degree with those hands, those long artful fingers of his. He had found places down there even I didn't realize existed.

I sighed.

I threw my towel over the railing, smoothed my hair back into my ponytail and unlocked the front door. Pausing, my body tensed at the threshold.

_Just go outside and get the fucking mail. _

I stepped out, and shut the door behind me. In all of my over analyzing, I had forgotten it was the end of November and fucking cold. Great. But I wasn't going to retreat now. Shoes would have also been a good idea. My feet were still taped from my session this morning. Ah well. Hopefully anyone who passed by would notice and it would help to build the crazy-old-single-lady-who-lives-on-the-corner-image I was trying to encourage.

The sky was gray and overcast, the fog had lifted but the air still seemed thick, as if we were due some snow. I shivered, the sweat on my body now freezing in the cold air. Genius, I am not.

Oh God. I'm turning into my mother. This is the kind of shit she would do. Forget her jacket and wander outside for the mail in, I looked down, tight work out pants and a sweaty red t-shirt. My thoughts strayed to her and I realized I hadn't visited her in almost a year. Halloween was her favorite holiday and I always went to see her as much as it creeped me out.

'Cause there was nothing like spending the afternoon of Halloween with your mom in the graveyard. She would probably need to be weeded, no one else took care of the gravesite. This is the first time in almost ten years I hadn't gone to see her. And I was only realizing it now, a month later. My head has been up my ass this past month, with the production, Jessica moving and Mr Magic Fingers across the street.

I allowed a glance towards his side as I neared the end of the driveway. In the late morning air, I could hear piano music coming from somewhere. It was dark and softly sad.

I opened the mailbox and pulled out some envelopes. Bill. Bill. Junk. Bill. Junk. Then I stopped and felt the blood drain from my freezing limbs. There was an envelope with my name written in long sweeping calligraphy. The envelope was starkly white and the black ink was not from a ballpoint pen. I shoved the mail under my arm so I could open the envelope. The flap was tucked in and with shaking hands, I pulled it out. Inside was a small note card. In the same flourishing script as on the front of the card was a note:

_Bella_

_Last night was an entirely satisfying evening and I hope you found it as pleasurable as I did. I would love to have you over for dinner or nibbles next Saturday evening. _

_Edward_

My heart palpitated and I suddenly needed a cigarette. Oh fuck. My master plan to lay low was never going to work. I glanced over to his side of the street again, but couldn't see much of the house over the hedge.

I took a deep breath and retreated back inside. My cell phone was on the counter, I knew I could text him back. Would that be ok? What the fuck was the etiquette for these things? Why was I allowing myself to be an idiot about this? Pick up the phone and act like a responsible adult, for fuck's sake.

I sighed, and looked at my cell phone warily as it sat motionless and dark on the countertop in the kitchen.

I jumped when it started to vibrate and the screen came to life. It was as if it was growling at me. Technology always knew. I picked it up, noticing it was a text from Angela.

**Hey girl. Post Show party this Sat night. U comin? x**

Oh shit. I quickly texted her back.

**Dunno yet. Might bring a date x**

I wondered if Edward would want to come to a post show party. I suppose if he was interested in hanging out with me, he might as well meet the rest of my crew and cronies. I decided I would text him to see if he was game.

**Got ur note. Have a Post Show party that nite. Do U want 2 go 2 show and then 2 party? x**

I bit my lip, wondering if he would respond quickly. I wasn't disappointed.

**Yes. What time and may I pick you up? E**

I text him back:

**Show is at 8PM. Pick me up around 7:00? x**

He responded shortly again.

**I look forward to it, Bella. E**

I felt a giddy rush go through me and an odd sense of achievement. I looked around as if there would be someone in the house then jumped into the air and fist pumped towards the ceiling. Making a _YES_ sound only Kevin McCallister could be proud of, I skipped up the stairs, phone in hand.

***

BPOV

I took a deep drag on my cigarette and examined myself one last time in the mirror.

My free hand smoothed over my black pencil skirt, it laced up the back with red ribbon and a small bit of red lace peeked out at the bottom. I wore a simple black knit top underneath a black cardigan with bright red tattoo design swallows embroidered over my left breast. I had my eyes lined, my lips red and my hair up. I was lucky enough to have had my stitches removed earlier in the week and the wound was now a nasty looking pink line on the inside of my arm.

I blew smoke at the mirror and flicked ashes into the ashtray. I was staring myself down, the coward on my shoulder telling me to hide in the closet and not come out until _he_ moved away.

I shook my head and moved towards the closet but only to pick up my black pumps from the shelf where I kept my nicer shoes. I grabbed a simple black purse from behind the door and walked back out into the bedroom. I jumped out of my skin and nearly dropped my cigarette when I heard the door go.

I stubbed out my ciggie in an ash tray on the dresser while I put my shoes on. I ran as quick as I could in four inch heels into the hallway and down the stairs. Sliding to a stop in front of the door, I took a deep breath. It was like there was some sort of magnetic pull emanating from him, I could feel it coming through the fucking door. I depressed the metal handle and pulled the door open wide. There he stood in all his glory, like some kind of fallen angel. I watched as he ran his fingers through his bronze hair.

How did he look that good all the time? It was like he wasn't real. Or human.

He wore black trousers and a matching suit jacket with a crisp white pressed shirt. Some of the buttons had been left undone at the top and my eyes were drawn to the small bit of chest and collarbone that was exposed. I tried to swallow and not stare but my heart beat loudly in my ears and in my lacy boy shorts.

Oh Fuck.

"Um hi," I said shyly, "I'm just finishing getting ready, do you want to come in?"

He nodded, his dark eyes capturing mine and I stood awkwardly hypnotized in the doorway until he smirked and motioned towards the room behind me.

"Was that an empty invitation, Bella?" he asked, his voice velvety soft.

I sputtered, "What? No. I'm sorry! My mind drifted away. Please come in." I moved aside for him to pass by. He brushed against me and my nipples screamed.

I took a steadying breath and went into the kitchen, fully aware of him following behind me. His shiny dress shoes clicked on the tile and I bit my lip. We passed by the living room and I blushed, remembering the last time we'd been in there. I'll bet he remembered too.

_Do not hyperventilate. _

Maybe he'd give me mouth to mouth if I fainted.

_Focus, Bella._

I tried not to let my hands shake with nervousness as I transferred keys, make up, cigarettes, lighter, phone, and wallet to my smaller purse. He stood beside me, silently observing which only made it worse. Why was it I could stand up to James, run a whole crew of people, but this man totally disarmed me?

I gasped when I felt his fingers on my hand and I froze at his touch. I closed my eyes, the last time he touched me running through my mind, his long fingers searching, moving, discovering.

"Bella…" he said my name and I felt my legs turn to water.

"Bella, you're shaking. Are you all right?" he asked.

I looked up at his face, he was very close now. His thumb stroked over the back of my hand and something tugged at my stomach. I realized he was waiting for an answer.

"Um, yeah. I guess I'm just nervous. I don't usually sit in the house during shows." I tried a small smile, hoping it didn't look like a grimace. I turned back to my purse but his hand tightened on mine.

"Look at me." I turned to him, my stomach in lovely corded knots. His other hand under my chin, he leaned down and something about him put me at ease instantly. The way he smelled, it was masculine and woodsy but there was some darker note behind it I couldn't place.

He leaned down, his perfect lips brushing against mine. It didn't seem enough for him, and he came back in for another pass. He gave me his bottom lip as he settled deeper into the kiss. I sucked it into my mouth. Our bodies moved closer and my hands crept up to grab the lapels of his jacket pulling him closer. His hands settled on either side of my jaw, holding me as if I were made of delicate glass.

I moved one of my hands up, needing to touch him, his skin. My fingers connected with his chin, I moved them up towards his cheek. One of his hands came down as his tongue licked over mine, his fingers wrapping around my wrist. I swear he could probably feel my pulse beating, my blood thickly pouring through my veins.

He broke off and we panted, our forehead touching, his nose alongside mine.

"Are you ready to go?" he said after swallowing.

"Yes." My voice sounded funny to me almost distant. He took my hand and we moved towards the front door. He opened the door and turned towards me, smiling.

I stared up at him and watched as he moved back towards the kitchen. He returned quickly, his footsteps measured and I glanced at his feet.

His feet looked big. Does that mean he-

"You forgot this." He said, a trace of humor in his voice. I looked up to see my purse in his hands.

Oh my, this was going to be a long night.

He led me out to his car, which was parked on the street. This time I was able to identify it, even in the dark.

"Is that an F430?" I asked, the slick inky lines of the car making me almost as wet as the man holding my elbow as I gawked as we made our way down the driveway.

"It is. I hope that's ok…?" he asked, his voice light.

"Um. Yeah." I smiled up at him and playfully leaned into his side. His face told me he wasn't quite sure what to do with the movement and I looked back at the car. Maybe that was too much. Maybe he didn't do that whole playful thing.

_Breathe, Bella._

He opened the door for me; I got in, my legs sliding over the red leather upholstery.

He shut the door and I watched him walk around to the front as I put my seatbelt on. The way he moved made me bite my lip.

He got in, closing the door and I studied him out of the corner of my eye, his arms moving fluidly, his fingers switching the car on. He revved it and I whimpered, the vibration of the engine and his presence nearly bringing me to orgasm. I squeezed my legs together, and bit my lip as he palmed the gear shift and set the car in motion.

The car was quiet except for the purr of the engine in front of us and I shifted in my chair, feeling tense. He glanced at me from the side and turned the heating on.

"Sorry, are you cold?"

Far from it.

"So what made you buy a Ferrari?" I asked, trying to make mundane conversation.

"I haven't bought Italian in a while and decided a change would be nice," he answered.

I choked. In a while? "So you like fast cars?"

He looked at me, his eyes holding me to the seat and then back at the road. His mouth kicked up at the corner as city lights flashed dully through the tinted windows.

"I like a lot of fast things, Bella. But sometimes, slow is a better approach. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes." I gulped. He knew exactly what he was doing.

We sat in silence, the vents of the car pumping warm air into the car. After a while it was too hot, and we reached at the same time to turn the heat off. Our fingers touched, and a rush of electricity shot up my arm, settling in a dull hum over my body.

He must have felt it too, the heated gaze he shot at me as his jaw locked making it hard to breathe.

There was a small parking garage in the city that was only a block away from the theater and he maneuvred the car into a space. While I tied to disentangle myself from my seatbelt, he opened my car door. I jumped, not expecting how quickly he was around on my side of the door and he helped me out of the low car.

There were no words between us as he escorted me towards the theater. The air was crisp and the sky was clear, tiny points of light shivering near the cold light of the moon. City lights dulled their glow, but couldn't deny their silent strength.

We arrived outside of the theater and weaved our way through the crowds. Our tickets were reserved at the box office and I waived at Maria as she passed our tickets through the glass. She pointed at my arm in, a question in her eyes and I smiled and gave her a nerdy thumbs up.

Edward's hand rested at my back and when I turned to him, his hand moved to my hip.

"Do you want to go inside and find our seats? I made sure they gave us really good ones."

He smiled, nodding and I had to remember to breathe and run after my train of thought before it completely left the station.

"Ok, I think we need to go this way, then." He followed beside me. I unsteadily led us up a dark hallway to wear the reserved seating was.

The seats were in the middle of the theater on the aisle. I hated sitting smack dab in the middle of the row and Mike made sure I had my seats where I wanted them. Edward invited me to sit down first, which meant I couldn't have the aisle but my mind couldn't register a no with his dark eyes looking at me like that.

I sat down as he took the seat next to me. Our knees briefly touched, but rather than pull away, they stayed connected, both of us enjoying the current.

Was this what it was supposed to feel like? With Jake it had always been like putting on an old pair of broken in jeans. Well, at least it was before I found out he was a two timing asshole who was willing to fuck anything with tits and legs. Except for me.

I steered my mind away from those thoughts and focused on Edward. I stared at his hands where they rested on his legs, thinking of all the places I wanted them.

Edward suddenly breathed in deeply then, his brows furrowed. He looked around him, as if he was searching for someone.

"Is something wrong?"

He looked back at me and then continued scanning the people in the theater.

"No. I thought I saw someone I recognized, that's all." He answered faintly, his eyes still studying faces.

The lights blinked then, indicating the show was to start soon. The house seemed full and more people flooded in to take their seats. I'm sure Victoria will be pleased.

I licked my lips, dragging my eyes away from Edward's hands as the lights dimmed and the beginning of the show started. As soon as the lights were out, and the stage was darkly lit in moody reds and shadowing blues, I felt it.

It was like someone had turned a dial, the spark between Edward and I gaining voltage. Midway through the first act, he put his hand on my knee and I closed my eyes, trying to get a handle on myself. His touch burned through the fabric of my skirt. I felt his fingers contract, squeezing my flesh, and I felt every movement throb and pull, until it ran through my veins and settled between my legs. His thumb moved back and forth in a hypnotizing caress that was getting more and more difficult to keep from squirming over. The scenes on stage played on, descending into lower rings of hell and I bit my lip as demons vied on the stage in front of me.

The curtains closed on the final act of the first half of the play. I breathed out as the intermission lights came on, filling the theater with light. My cheeks felt on fire and I glanced at Edward through my lashes. He seemed tense, his jaw locked, but his hand was still gentle on my leg. He shoved his other hand through his hair.

"Do you want to get a drink, Edward? There is a bar in the reserved area."

He nodded and stood up, offering me his arm.

I took it gingerly and we moved towards the exit. "It's up that hallway and to the left. Will you excuse me? I'm going to find the lady's room. Tell them you know Bella, they charge a fortune for wine in here."

He nodded and reluctantly let me away from him.

The intensity was almost too much. I felt like I could breathe normally again as I walked towards a door that led to the backstage area.

I shoved through the door and smiled. I felt reborn, enjoying the sights of final night intermission mayhem.

I loved final night. Everyone seemed to get along, the teams backstage and onstage pulled together and the camaraderie between everyone involved was always a great atmosphere.

Even James was less of a prick.

Marcus nodded to me as I entered the backstage area. I actually missed his quiet acknowledgements.

"Hi Marcus! Are you going tonight?" I asked.

His dark eyes met mine and he nodded. I smiled back at him, glad he would be there.

"Bella!" one of my crew members shouted and a small crowd of darkly dressed techs swarmed towards me. I was all fucking gushy over everyone. They seemed really glad to see me as well. They each filled me in on usual dramas and the small bits and pieces that I had missed during the show's run.

The sights, the smells, the sounds and hustle and bustle were like home to me. The darkness of backstage like a warm childhood blanket that I never wanted to let go of. It hit me how much I was attached to this eerie old place, even the haunted old parts that no one ventured into. Mike greeted me, I could tell he was about to hug me but Yorkie saved me by throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"Well well, Bella! I knew you couldn't stay away from me any longer!" His eyes were devouring me. I knew it wasn't usual to see me in a skirt. He turned back to Mike, "Fuck off, Mike! Don't you know the look of lust in a woman's eye when you see it?" He turned back to me, a trace of humor in his eyes, "It's ok baby, I got your back."

I snorted as Mike tried to smile but failed miserably. Yorkie squeezed my shoulder and whispered lowly, "Glad to have you back, Swan. This place sucks donkey balls without you at the helm."

He let go of me before I could respond and headed back up to his light booth lair. I smiled, shaking my head while I watched him go. Yorkie was actually alright when his dick wasn't in his hands or on his mind. I heard a squeal and Angela came running up to me.

"Bella! Jesus, it's so good to see you. I know it was only a week, but it felt like a year!" She stepped closer to hug me. She let me go instantly and stepped back.

"Are you staying?" she asked, hope in her eyes.

"Nope. I'm on a date." I said a little smugly.

Her eyes widened, "Oh Em. Gee, that's right! Are you bringing him to the after party?"

I nodded, "I think so, if all goes well."

She raised an eyebrow at me and took a step back to look at me, "Is that what you're wearing?"

I bit my lip, "Um yeah. Is it ok? Jess helped me the last time."

"Bella, you look totally hot. Is he here?" She looked hopefully behind me.

"No, in fact I need to get back. I sorta snuck back here to see how you all were doing." I sheepishly smiled at her.

"Bella?! What the fuck?! Get back out there, and don't worry about us. We'll see you at Newton's?"

I nodded and headed off to meet back up with Edward. I entered the bar area and found him leaning against a tall table in a corner. A glass of wine sat on a napkin in front of me.

I bit my lip and looked up at him. "Hi."

"Hi." He answered, and pushed my wine glass towards me.

I sipped at it, studying his face, "Are you enjoying yourself so far?"

His dark eyes somehow became fathomlessly darker, and he opened his mouth as if he were tasting the air around him before he responded. I felt my heart stop when he looked deeply into my own eyes.

"Immensely, Bella. Are you?"

"Am I what?"

He smirked, "Enjoying yourself."

"I am." I swallowed more wine, the dark red liquid running over my tongue and warming my insides slightly.

I looked up at him, he was studying me, "Are you looking forward to the after party?"

He looked at me, his gaze simmering, "The experience should be enlightening. Are these your colleagues who will be there?"

I sipped and was surprised to find the glass almost gone, "Yes, I have to warn you though. A lot of them may look twenty-five but they are more like sixteen. If it gets to be too much, let me know and we can go somewhere else."

His mouth kicked up again into a small smile, "I will keep you informed."

The lights blinked in the bar and I set my glass down. He offered his arm to me again, "Shall we?"

I placed my arm with his and we made our way through the halls and back into the house, finding our seats through the masses of people. We sat down again, our legs touching and the same burn started low, and was stoked and roaring when the lights went off. I don't even remember much of the second half, other than his fingers trailing lightly over my arm. I had shoved the sleeves up of my cardigan and his fingers brushed lightly over me, and I clenched my thighs together when his leg rubbed against mine.

I took a deep breath as the curtain fell, and the actors came out to take their bows. His fingers found my pulse on my wrist and the sensation over the delicate skin was unnerving.

The lights came on then and we both stood at the same time.

"Do you want to go backstage? I can show you around while they clean and lock up before heading over?"

He nodded and I took him back out to the hallway where I had made my earlier escape. I pushed through the door but he caught it and allowed me to walk through first. He followed behind me and then walked quietly by my side. His tall frame and handsome jaw seemed otherworldly and out of place here, as if these two parts of my world shouldn't meet.

I showed him the make-up room, some of the spare offices, the stairwell to the catwalk, and the props and costumes area. There were people milling about backstage, they all waived or called out a greeting, throwing curious looks at Edward.

I saw Angela, and her eyes popped out of her head as she looked at Edward. She had an armful of various textures of fabric and costume. She teetered over to us, en route to store them.

"Edward, this is Angela, our resident Dominatrix over costumes. Angela, this is Edward Cullen."

She seemed momentarily dazzled, as he greeted her in his warm caramel voice. It was good to see it wasn't just me who melted into a puddle at the sight and sound of him.

He let go of her hand and turned back to me. I continued the tour as Angela sped off, her face blushing.

I showed him the darker backstage area, including my perch and the lectern where I spent majority of my time during the show. I led him out onto the stage and was showing him the lights. He had his arm around my waist as we walked off stage to the other side where the larger set pieces were kept. I was pointing out the piece that had fallen on me when he stiffened.

The hand he had on my hip tightened, and it started to hurt.

"Edward, your grip is a little tight. Are you ok?"

His jaw locked and he loosened his grip.

"I'm fine. My apologies." he said, his voice strained.

I looked around us and saw Marcus pushing the dust broom across the stage.

I waived and his eyes widened.

"Um, Edward, this is Marcus Voltaire, one of my top stage techs. Marcus, this is Edward Cullen, my date."

* * *

**A/N**

**Yes, backstage Marcus and Edward's Marcus are one and the same.**

**EPOV next chapter. Cuz I love you like that. **

**I have a blog to concentrate all of my teasers and links to. The link is now on my profile. **

**Thanks for sharing this story with others, and thank you for reading and reviewing. **


	8. Chapter 7: Into the Woods

**A/N**

**So Stephenie Meyer has to have a master copy somewhere of a citrus variety. I'm convinced its posted somewhere as a pseudonym on . She still pwns all that Twilight stuff though, and me.**

**Special durty gropage to lambcullen who unfailingly holds my hands/boobs in moments of fail and pink pens this mutha. **

**Thanks and leg humps to the gorgeous and ms fabulously awesomsauce that is snshyne, she also keeps the fail monsters at bay by pre-reading. unf all ovah u doll. **

**Also thanks to all the people who have pimped, fav'd reviewed, and tweeted about Incubus Anomaly. I am truly humbled, flattered, and perhaps a little RIP. **

**Song List:  
****Time is Running Out: Muse  
****If You Go Away: Emiliana Torrini  
****Your Lips Are Red: St Vincent  
****Hurricane: 30 Seconds to Mars**

* * *

"_Agony! That can cut like a knife." -From Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods_

EPOV

Louder. The stream of conscious immortal thought rang louder and I knew he was near.

_Mortals and their parties. I would rather be…_

The thoughts paused and an image of fire, rolling and binding, like a dark, thick, burning crimson ribbon of flame, twisting securely around Bella and myself.

His thoughts picked up again and the fleeting lines of Edgar Allan Poe flitted through millennia's old synapses:

_How daring an ambition; yet how deep…How fathomless a capacity for love_

My hand flexed, the words resonating clear to where my soul should be.

Her breathing reacted to my possessive hand and she spoke to me lowly, "Edward, your grip is a little tight there, are you ok?"

My mind was consumed by Marcus' thoughts as he repeated that phrase over and over.

_La tua cantante._

I loosened my grip slightly so as not to alert her to the true stirrings within me. A pivotal moment in my existence had just occurred, an opportunity granted. Was it redemption or confirmation?

"I'm fine. My apologies," I answered.

I could see him, moving through the darkness, his eyes meeting mine, dark and hungry. He looked away and saw Bella wave at him.

_Edward. I know you can see it. You cannot deny this. Does she know? Does she feel it too?_

"Um, Edward, this is Marcus, one of my top stage techs. Marcus, this is Edward Cullen, my date."

We shook hands, but the words unspoken between us seemed to echo loudly in the silence.

"A pleasure to meet you," I said, if only to fill the silence. I could hear Bella's heart rate accelerating.

"Likewise," he muttered.

"So, we better get going, Edward," I felt her arm link with mine as she looked at Marcus, "We'll see you at Mike's, Marcus." He nodded and automatically I started forward.

"Why don't we go out the backdoors, it'll be a shorter walk." She said quietly. It was as if she could sense my darker mood. She led me into the darker area of the backstage, the stage lights now off and the area only lit by a very dim tube of fluorescent light, covered with blue plastic.

My eyes were strong enough to see in the dark and I was aware of the way her ass moved in her skirt, her hair curling darkly down her back. Her smell burned in my nostrils, down my throat, and grabbed my balls.

I must have her and the confirmation from Marcus was indisputable. She was mine, all of her, every delicious inch was especially formed for me to feast on. She opened the door to the outside and night air rushed into the vacuum, like a darker spirit settling into a soul less vessel.

Out on the street, there were few cars and fewer people. Her heels clicked beside my footsteps, her breathing shooting misty puffs into the air. I remembered that my breath did not produce this effect, and I hoped she wouldn't care to notice.

My mind catalogued and reviewed the evening with Bella. There was a charge that ran between us, and her accelerated heartbeat had answered any questions I'd had. Even now, her small arm through mine as we walked was not enough. I wanted her against the wall in the alley we passed, bent over the bench at the bus stop, against the streetlamp.

She shivered next to me and I realized she was not even wearing a coat.

"Did you not bring a coat?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the lust from voice.

"I kinda forgot it as we left the house," she shivered into my side again and an echo of an instinct had me shrugging out of my jacket and placing it around her shoulders. Her eyes glittered in the artificial light of the nearby parking garage as she looked up at me. She blinked once and I raised my thumb to smooth over her lusciously red painted lip. Her lashes fell like wispy feathers to her cheek and I felt my cock pulse to life in my trousers.

Her arm left mine to clutch the jacket around her, I could have sworn I saw her put her nose to the collar and inhaled. The fluorescent lights were bright and buzzed in the crisp air around us. There weren't any other cars in the vicinity and our footsteps seemed louder than necessary as we walked between rows of yellow paint and numbered columns.

We neared the car, and as she turned towards it, I rushed by her to open the door. She walked forward and met me at the door. Although my hand was on the handle, I could not go through the motions of unlocking and lifting the metal. Something burst inside me, the still air coming alive as I pulled her to me.

She whimpered before my mouth captured hers, my cool hands on her cheeks before sliding into her hair. My tongue delved forward to meet hers and she hesitated before meeting mine. Her hands moved up my chest and I pressed her into the side of the car, her curves pliable and relenting. She made another tiny sound at the back of her throat, I knew she could feel me hard against her stomach.

The whole fucking time in that theater, so close without being able to devour her in some capacity had driven me to this moment. To taste her, touch her, and even this was not enough. I wanted it all, and her resistance death marched to the beat of her heart pulsing blood.

_Touch me._

_Taste me._

_Inside._

Her blood sang for me, a choir of fallen angels begging for redemption as I palmed her breast. I could feel her nipple pebbled from cold and arousal through her clothing. The beast wanted to tear it all off, strip her naked and taste her need, her want. I pushed my cock against her and she ground back, desperately searching for more as well.

But satisfaction was a fickle bitch, even when in heat.

I kissed her throat, her head falling back, allowing me access as her body pressed into the side of the Ferrari. My name a ghostly whisper on her swollen lips, as I found her pulse and licked the surface. Her skin was a flavor that haunted me since the last time I had touched her. Her breath hitched when I slackened my control and lightly bit her neck, teasing us both.

"I want you, Bella."

Her lashes fluttered and I looked deeply into her eyes.

"Edward?"

My hands ran down her sides and she arched against me as I breathed against her mouth. Her brown eyes were huge in her face, questioning.

I inhaled, looking at her. Could I master this creature or would it turn into my own devotion?

I removed my hand from her waist and flicked the door handle. I kissed her mouth, hard and quick, the puckering wet smack as I pulled back echoing around us.

"Get in."

I pushed away from her, needing a small amount of distance and heard her take a deep shuddering breath before sliding into the car. She shut the door and the minute click of the seatbelt filled the car as I sat down next to her on my side.

I started the car, allowing it a moment to growl and warm up before pulling almost violently out of the space.

She was tense, her heart thudding in her chest. I shifted the car and she jumped when my hand brushed against her leg. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her lick her lips and I nearly drove us off of the road onto the pavement.

It was like toeing the edge of a precipice, ready to jump and hoping the fall would be as enjoyable as the landing.

"Where is the party?" I asked.

She cleared her throat and licked her lips again, before answering to give me the directions. I turned the car down a street in the direction of Mike Newton's house. His mind had spoken of his utter infatuation with Bella, and I had wanted to rip his throat open as he imagined her naked and flushed.

She surprised me by leaning towards the stereo and jabbing a black lacquered nail at the on button.

"Sorry do you mind if I-" she stopped as the music came on.

Her eyes caught mine before I turned them back to the city street.

"Muse?" she asked.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "I hope that's ok?"

"Definitely."

She leaned back in the chair and relaxed while the seductive lyrics of _Time Is Running Out _poured over us. My hands tightened on the wheel as Matthew Bellamy moaned from the speakers:

_You will be the death of me. _

"Jesus Christ, Cullen. I love going fast but do you always drive like your ass is on fire?"

I noted the speed. One hundred was barely pushing it.

"I can go faster if you like." I said to her over the music and applied more pressure to the gas, my hand squeezing the gear shift as we cruised towards one hundred and ten.

_You will suck the life right out of me. _

She inhaled sharply and her hands were tightly clasped in her lap. I smirked and slowly released the gas.

"Take a left up here." she indicated with her finger.

I turned and followed along the street until we arrived at the house. There were lights on and silhouettes of people from the party could be seen in the windows. It was a large house located in the suburbs, its aluminum siding and manicured lawn identical to the houses on either side of it. I parked the car and turned the transmission off. Bella unfastened her seatbelt and opened her car door.

She waited for me and I escorted her to the front of the house. She pressed the doorbell button and the door was answered by Mike.

_She brought that guy. Great. _

"Hey Bella! You brought your date! Great!" His smile was barely as facetious as his thoughts, "You know the drill," he moved aside so we could enter, "Keg and other booze is in the kitchen. Let me know if you need anything."

Bella smiled, "Thanks, Mike. Is Angela here yet?"

Mike looked around, "I think so. Try the living room, Yorkie has a captivated audience in there."

Bella took my hand and led me further into the house. It was decorated like a frat house with road signs and random posters littering the marked walls. Bella rounded a corner and we found ourselves in the kitchen.

"Mike keeps the red wine in a cupboard for me. Help yourself to whatever while I scavenge for it. God, it's warm in the house, isn't it?" She turned away and took off her cardigan, revealing a black ruched top which clung to her breasts. She tied the cardigan around her waist and her smell seemed stronger as it wafted over me.

She stretched up to open a cabinet and her shirt moved, revealing a glimpse of creamy skin and the artful curve of her spine. My cock reminded me that I still had not allowed an orgasm in over two weeks and that I should consider bending her over the counter, ripping the lacing of her skirt apart, pull her thong to the side and bury myself deep. I wonder if she would allow me to bite her neck, not to wound, not to drink, but to taste as I pounded into her. She would make those noises, only louder-

"Found it!"

I quickly schooled my expression as she turned around to smile at me, and pulled a bottle of wine from the top shelf. She grabbed a plastic cup from the table and had the bottle opened, obviously knowing her way around. If I hadn't seen inside Newton's mind, I would have thought she was way too intimately acquainted with this kitchen. But from the unfulfilled bend of Newton's thoughts, I knew it was nothing more than having been here before and told to help herself.

Although I knew it, it still didn't stop the very low possessive rumble in my chest at the thought of anyone else touching her.

I grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with beer from the keg. The smell nauseated my insides, the cup was more to accessorize the façade of mortality rather than enjoy fermented and liquefied hops.

"C'mon, I'll introduce you to some of people I work with."

I stood with her as she moved around the room. Her co-workers seemed to regard her as a queen bee, both in their words and thoughts. Although some of the boys, and they were that, as she had warned me, still regarded her as some sort of dominatrix sex goddess who wielded a power tool on a regular basis. One of her 'crew,' as she put it, even had her in leathers and a whip running through his mind. I smiled inwardly, wondering if Miss Swan had an inkling to the thoughts that swarmed about her.

I knew the moment Marcus arrived, the tenor of his thoughts serious and dark. Again, an image of dark crimson fire swirling and binding, a dark river twisting around Bella and I flashed through my mind as Marcus drew near. He was beside us, and Bella smiled at him, glad that he had made it. He was still dressed in his dark stage clothes, like some scruffy roadie. It was a far cry from the immaculate vampire aristocrat, in cravat and breeches that I had seen in my immortal father's study. A painting hung on the far wall of the study of him and the rest of the ruling house, a look of ennui on his flawless face.

_We need to talk, Edward._

I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

Bella turned to me, "Edward, I'm gonna catch a cigarette outside. Do you want to come with me?"

Marcus piped up then, "Actually, Bella. I was wondering if I could pick his brain for a bit."

Bella's eyes flashed with surprise but she nodded and turned towards the back of the house where some of the smokers were assembled on the back porch, shivering in the cold.

We found a quieter corner in the house and Marcus wasted no time.

_Edward, please tell me you've seen this. _His mind replayed the fire.

I nodded. His eyes widened.

_Do you know what this means? _His thoughts hissed.

I shrugged, not ready to admit it to myself quite yet.

His hand flexed in frustration, as if he wanted to hit me, his mind reflected the thought.

_Edward, she is yours, specifically yours. And you are hers. Do you even comprehend what you have?_

I threw him a look but he shook his head at me. He showed me a memory centuries old of a beautiful woman with delicate features and dark auburn hair. Her skin was perfect as a rose petal, her eyes ruby red. I presumed this to be Marcus' mate, who had been his singer. Tragically she had been killed, and those details surrounding her demise lay locked away, his mind unable to rehash them.

"All that singer nonsense. You cannot actually expect me to believe it." My words did not match the possessive looks I kept shooting towards the sliding glass door; as I watched her blow smoke into the night air.

_Do you think this is a game? _

His thoughts were taking on a desperate and frantic edge which I did not appreciate.

_You cannot deny this. You have chosen this life. You must bend with it or it will break you. _

"You cannot know that," I hissed lowly.

_I know much more than you do, Edward. The intensity between the two of you is almost overwhelming. _

My eyes reluctantly left my siren and looked directly into his, "Stay out of it, Marcus."

_As you wish, Edward. I will leave you with this: Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. _

Marcus left me then, and found an obligatory drink in the kitchen. Bella returned to my side, and my hand stole possessively around her waist. I seethed while Marcus attempted to mute his thoughts from me. The night wore on, the slurred words and thoughts of the living flesh around me soon became almost too much to bare. It was getting harder and harder to not rip the face off of Newton, every instinct inside of me was ready tear his throat open and waste his blood all over the tacky mismatched furniture.

Into her soft ear, I whispered, "Bella, let's get out of here."

She nodded and sighed softly, her eyes slightly hooded from drink. She lit a cigarette on our way outside and I kept her from falling on her face twice. I poured her into the Ferrari and turned the obsidian hood towards our street.

She teetered up the driveway, my hand steady at her waist. She gasped and her face filled with horror.

"Edward! Edward I left my purse at Mike's. It's on the couch!"

I looked at her, "Ok."

Her face took on a horrified expression, "My keys, Edward. I'm locked out!"

"Do you want to go back?"

She bit her lip, "What time is it?"

I glanced at my watch, "After two."

"Oh no. It's way too late. I couldn't go back now. What am I going to do?" She sat on her stoop awkwardly, the pencil skirt too tight to allow much freedom.

The monster inside laid his ears back in triumph. "Would you like to come back to mine?"

"Oh, Edward. I couldn't. You're way too nice and I don't sleep. I would end up making too much noise and keeping you awake." Her brown eyes were huge in her face. She looked like a lost frightened child. It was unfortunate that her angel of mercy was a demon in sheep's clothing.

"I don't really sleep, either. I end up playing the piano or reading. I'm sure we can think of something to do."

The internal monster grinned and rubbed his hands together in sordid delight.

I looked at her pointedly and watched as she blushed and looked away.

"Bella, I am not going to leave you in the cold. You will be spending the rest of the night with me. Come, give me your hand."

I held out my hand, and she studied my fingers in front of her face. Shyly, she placed her fingers in my palm. I helped her to stand, careful not to crush her bones in my delight at her acquiescence.

Quietly, we walked back over to my side of the street and I led her to the front door. I unlocked the door and depressed the brass handle. The door creaked ominously as it opened to reveal a gaping maw of darkness.

"After you," I entreated her. She glanced nervously and then stepped in, her shoes clicking loudly in the still and silent foyer. I shut the door behind us and the moment where we stood in the darkness was much like the charged evening spent in the darkened theater. An almost measurable amount of electricity, hummed, sparked, and snapped between us. It was like a pleasurable whiplash, the burn in my throat for her almost painfully arousing now.

I could hear her breath, her heart. The flick of her eyelashes on her cheek when she blinked, trying to adjust her eyes. She shifted nervously, a blinded and ensnared rabbit. My movements were a whisper behind her, my hands settling on her hips. My lips brushed against her neck, finding her overdriven pulse.

I bit her earlobe before my lips caressed her ear.

"Bella…"

She leaned back against me, and my cock pressed against her backside, through my trousers.

I reached behind me and flicked the light on, blinding her again and I stepped away from her.

"Come, I'll give you the tour."

I took her hand and she walked woodenly at my side. The dark wood floors continued through the open space as I showed her the rest of the house. I had never really been one for decoration, most of the rooms were the same. Dark woods and creamy walls, minimal clutter. In the living room there was a stone fireplace, the large pieces of slate climbing the wall to the ceiling. In front of the fireplace was an extra large sheepskin rug. The smell of which, I found both endlessly fascinating and oddly comforting.

Two black sofas faced each other, separated by a dark glass coffee table.

I took her across the wide hall into the piano room. Wide windows were hidden behind tall black curtains. As the room was on the corner of the house, the two walls that faced onto the back wooded area were mostly windows. When the curtains were pulled back, the room was airy and light. However, with the dark curtains keeping the light from permeating through, it was oppressive and heavy.

The piano itself was a glossy grand, and it sat like a sleeping dragon with the lethal edge of its teeth on display. Bella stepped closer to it, the small light from the foyer filtering through to the room, making her frame a silhouette. She looked back, and her brown eyes found mine in the near darkness.

"May I?" she asked, and indicated towards the piano.

I nodded and she ran her fingers along the edge before sitting down on the leather piano bench. Her finger depressed the middle C and the note rang clear and safe in the still air. I moved towards her then, and she shifted to allow me to sit beside her on the bench.

"May I?" I looked at her, indicating the keys.

She was breathing through her mouth and her heartbeat skipped as she nodded.

My fingers caressed over notes and she sat still beside me, her eyes closed. The darkness enveloped around us, the notes unsatisfied and seductive. They begged, they pleaded, they plucked, crying silently for a pleasing and satisfactory balance of sweeter and less sharper tones. She was closer now, our legs touching, her body pressed to my side and her scent all around me as I stroked.

I stopped playing abruptly, the events of this evening finally culminating to this moment.

Her breathing made for a rhythmic metronome, weaving in and out of her pumping heart.

Without looking at her, my voice broke through the thick air, "Tell me you feel this too."

"Yes."

"Bella, I'm giving you the opportunity to say no. Get up now, walk into the living room, walk away from me. If you do not, I'm going to take it as supplication and affirmation that we will consume whatever the fuck this is between us."

She continued to sit beside me and her small hand placed over mine on the piano keys.

I swallowed the treacherous venom that filled my mouth, "Very well."

I stood up from the bench so fast that it startled her, but I did not give a damn anymore.

Her gasp was a deeper exhale as I lifted her in my arms and carried her through to the living room. I set her down on the rug, the heels of her shoes disappearing in the deep wool.

I flicked a small switch at the side of the fireplace and the gas fire flickered and roared on, filling the room with shadowy demons. The flames licked the stone and I stood to look at her, a dark angel her back towards the inferno, her arms crossed in front of her. I knelt at her side, my hands running over her, listening to her body react.

Slowly, achingly slowly, I unlaced her skirt, the dark ribbon hissing through each hole. I watched as it whispered down her smooth legs. I closed my eyes, her perfection burned into my brain, her scent sizzling down my throat. I raised my hand and dipped her lacy shorts low on one side, over her hip, revealing creamy skin. My fingers traced small bruises and I realized the mar on her beauty was of my own making. I kneeled, kissing each fingerprint, darkly satisfied that my possessive touch had marked the occasion.

Her breathing hitched at the touch of my lips and my hands cupped her backside as her hands ran through my hair. I kissed towards her thighs, tasting her delectable skin. Her hands were fists in my hair, as my nose ran over her sex, and I planted a small kiss there, over the lace. Her heart stuttered for both of us as I ran my fingers over the delicate lingerie before swiftly pulling it down, exposing her to me.

She whimpered, and for a moment her hands looked as though they might try to hide her from me. I stood up swiftly, her eyes wide as they looked into mine. I shrugged off my jacket and threw it on the couch behind me.

"Take off your sweater and top, Bella."

Her fingers fumbled and she pealed the garments off, dropping them at her feet. She stepped out of her skirt and lacy underwear, moving them aside with her foot. Finally, she stood in only her shoes and bra. Her eyes watched while my fingers unbuttoned my shirt, revealing flesh and chest and immortal perfection to her. I pulled the shirt over my shoulders, pulling it from my trousers and tossing it on top of my jacket. Her hungry eyes traced over muscle and tone and she licked her lips, her pink tongue making my cock leap.

"You can touch me, Bella."

Her eyes looked to mine, they were vulnerable and the ghost of something passed over them. How I wished her thoughts were opened to me in this moment, to know exactly what that was.

Her nakedness was temporarily forgotten and her fingers shook as she reached out to trace the shape of my abdominal muscles. Her hand moved lower. Her fingers running over the V of muscle that disappeared into my pants. Her fingers drew over the line of hair that ran from my navel before trailing down below my waistline as well. I watched, mesmerized as her touch nearly brought me to my knees.

Her fingers moved again, over my narrow hips and caressed the skin underneath the waistband of my trousers. Her brows furrowed as her fingers attempted to move lower, her eyes concentrating on her hands, on what she was touching. My cock strained against the fabric, begging for release.

My hands were at her back, unhooking her black lacy bra, the cups pushing her breasts proudly at me. The lingerie loosened, the straps falling over her shoulders. She snatched her hands up, holding the bra to her skin. Her eyes would not meet mine and again I wished for access to her guarded secrets.

"Bella?"

I waited for her to look at me.

"Don't hide from me."

I turned the full power of my dark eyes upon her and she stood for a moment, like a deer caught in the headlights. Her hands obeyed, however, slowly falling to her sides. I pushed a lock of her raven hair back over her shoulder and the black bra whispered down her arms where she let it fall to her feet. Her eyes looked to the side, her chin turned towards the corner of the room and she trembled there, naked as Eve, awaiting judgement.

My hands touched her soft skin, watching goose bumps form from my cool touch. Her nipples budded in the muted firelight and I ran my thumb over one lightly. She flinched, biting her lip as if she were in pain.

"Perfection." I whispered and had mercy on her, pulling her close, my lips unable to resist the allure of her graceful neck. My arms were around her back, my fingers splayed over her warm skin and we both hissed as her breasts pressed intimately against my chest. I knew she could feel my cock pressed against her belly, and I kissed from her neck to her jaw before my lips brushed over hers.

"I know you can feel that, Bella."

She started to pretend ignorance, I could see it in her eyes and I pressed closer, pushing against her, pulling her to me so there was no denying my intentions.

"Say it, Bella. I want to hear you say you can feel that."

"I feel it," she moaned.

One of my hands reached between us and I tested her pussy with one of my fingers, finding her almost ready but wet all the same.

"I want you, Bella. I can feel you want me too, don't you?" My lips were kissing her, my tongue possessing her mouth, taking from her.

"Bella, I want to hear you say it."

"I want you, Edward."

I stole her breath, sealing her lips with mine. Her hands clutched my arms, hanging on, her fingers digging into infallible skin. She was soft, wet, and incredibly warm in my arms and I crushed her to me. I wanted her, maybe more than her mortal mind could comprehend.

I wanted to kill her, to taste her last gush of life as it flowed over my lips.

I wanted to fuck her senseless until the flick of my fingers over her made her flinch with sensitivity.

But there was something trying to surface through the darker recesses the more time I spent around her. Something that told me to gentle my hold, or I would break her. Something that said to go softly on her lips, or I would bruise them. Something that bade me to go slowly with her, savour the wine, rather than gulp it greedily.

I released her mouth from mine to look into her eyes, they were dark and hooded with need, and I licked her bruised lower lip with my tongue.

Her breathing was short, her eyes waiting, wary but her body thrived underneath my hands. I bent, my hands running over her and picked her up behind her knees and back, cradling her before kneeling down. Firelight created tiny flashes of light in her glossy hair as I lay her down on the soft rug. I took her shoes off and tossed them near the couch.

I nudged her legs apart and lay between them and she moaned as my cock, still encumbered by fabric nudged at her slick sex.

My fingers parted her, stroked her, teased her until she writhed on the carpet.

I watched her skin flush, her nipples puckered and wanting in the firelight. The visual she provided made me pause: a gypsy pagan sacrifice laid out on the white sheepskin, waiting for the beast to devour her.

Devour her, indeed.

I leaned over her, massaging her breast in one hand, moulding the skin in my palm. I bent my head to the other, capturing the dusky rosebud in my mouth. Her hands were in my hair as her thighs clamped around my hips rising, desperately seeking more friction. Her moans were pleading and desperate and my hand reached between us to stroke her once again, bringing her closer again.

When her back arched from the white wisps of wool, her neck exposed as she moved her hips against me, grinding for more friction I knew she was ready. The need to feel her from the inside, a fruit that I had forbidden myself for so long finally in my hand.

My hand flicked over the front of my trousers, the zipper sliding down easily. I shifted my hips, dragging the black fabric down. Her legs parted, her knees bending as she used her feet to push them the rest of the way down my legs. She was leaning up on her elbows now, watching me. Her eyes widened, licking over my cock and she watched as my fingers wrapped around it. She bit her lip, and her hips seemed to move of their own volition urging me closer. I crawled back up her body and lowered myself between her legs.

My cock nudged at her wet opening, my mind racing like a million lights in fast forward on the highway. This moment, seemed especially tailored and made for me, for her, as I felt the tip of my cock enter her. She was tight and wet but gripped me like a glove.

So it was, of course, to my rage filled dismay when my brother suddenly threw the unlocked front door open wide.

"Fucking the neighbor lady. Nice."

* * *

**A/N**

**Just. The. Tip. **

**Review?**


	9. Chapter 8: Escamillo

**A/N **

**SM owns all that is Twilight, I owns all that is demonic. Savvy?**

**First off. Holy. Cart Wheeling Christ. I just want to give a big massive shout out to Kassiah and jjuliebee who wrote a lovely review for Incubus Anomaly at The Fictionators weekly rec! *sniff* dreams do come true.**

**Lovely girl scout cookie shaped thanks to snshyne for her lovely comments and word polishing. Thanks as always doll!**

**To my ficwife, lambcullen, mistress of the pink pen. She enjoys having our demon in her playroom, and when I'm extra good, she lets me in there too.**

**Music for your unf:  
****The Rip: Portishead  
****Gold Dust: Tori Amos  
****Cryin: Aerosmith  
****Steal Away: Etta James**

* * *

_"Toréador, en garde! Toréador, Toréador!"_ -_Votre Toast_, Act 2 of Carmen, an opera by Georges Bizet

BPOV

Naked.

I am naked, in front of this man, my body feeling more alive than it has ever felt in my entire fucking life. And just when things are about to get good, every secret pulse in my body begging for him, this happens.

Cue the Fuck My Life banners already.

His forehead met mine for a second, his eyes closed then opened, intensely hypnotizing. He breathed out and for a moment, it felt like I blanked out. My mind went hazy and I was aware in a weird floaty way of my blood running through my veins, my lungs expanding in and out. My eyelids were heavy, my eyes focused then unfocused. I blinked and he was gone, the ceiling in my eyesight.

I wonder if he knew he had a crack in the ceiling that rain towards the fireplace.

The floor vibrated, as if something large landed on it. I looked up, leaning on my elbows to see what it was. Still sorta dazed, everything was moving in slow motion but in fast forward. Edward's shape seemed to be a blur of muscle and limbs, as he grappled with a large man. Edward was on top of him, his fist raised. His face was a horrible mask of rage.

Sound was fuzzy, like I had stuck my fingers in my ears. I hazily tried to rub my ears but ended up falling back on the rug, the air rushing out of my lungs. I shut my eyes and focused on breathing. I felt like I was forgetting something, some key piece of information. My brain was muddled; I couldn't remember what it was.

Then it was back too soon.

Naked. I am fucking naked, and Edward is fighting with some guy he apparently knows. I can hear them shouting, but it's too fast and too angry for me to make out. I scramble up, trying to cover myself with my arms. I find my skirt and cardigan near the couch, and quickly but awkwardly put them on.

Barefoot, I stood up, just needing to get the fuck out of Dodge. I had no phone, no keys and nowhere to go. I heard an odd buzzing sound and realized Edward's phone was in his pants pocket. I bit my lip and decided it was my only lifeline. I picked up his pants and went through the pockets, finding his phone. I bypassed the new message and quickly dialed Jess's number.

I listened to the ringing sound until finally, a sleepy hello rasped in my ear.

"Jess?"

"Bella? It's three in the morning."

"Jess. I need you. Can you or Tyler come and get me?"

She was more awake now. "Of course! What's wrong? Are you ok? Where are you?"

"I've locked myself out of the house and I may have ended up across the street, and I really just don't want to be here right now." My voice sounded way too high at the end. I realized I was close to tears.

"Oh, my God. I'm pulling on my clothes now. Fifteen minutes, honey."

My eyes went to the front door, still open. I started to run towards it. Edward looked up as I moved.

"Bella."

His voice stirred something within me. I froze, my back was to them. After a beat, I turned, my brain attempting to comprehend what my eyes saw.

Edward, nude, his hand around the stranger's throat. His bare forearm pulled back about to strike. He was like some pale Grecian statue, moving marble.

"Wait."

I ignored him, running as fast as I could across his lawn, the grass frozen underneath my feet. My breath blew out in a cloud in front of me and I shivered, feeling my nipples harden underneath the knit of my sweater. My mind flashed to seeing his bronze hair in my fingers while his head bent over my breast, his mouth making me arch against him.

I was overly aware at that moment that my panties were probably still laying on his hardwood floor. My mother would be so fucking proud.

The best part was my body was begging me to go back and ask him to finish what he had started.

My brain swirled with emotion as I neared the driveway; embarrassment, anger, fatigue, frustration. I searched for Jess's number, as I padded barefoot up the pavement towards the garage door. I couldn't go inside, but distance and being on my own patch made me feel safer.

I walked around to the backyard to wait, not wanting to sit like some vulnerable fucking duck in the front yard, out in the open

My skin felt like it was crawling and God, I was still throbbing. There.

I flinched as something cold hit my hand, and the sound of small pebbles glinting off of trees and aluminum siding echoed around me.

Fucking great. Sleet. I shuddered and stood under the small overhang at the back of the house. The windows to my work out room were blindfolded with curtains. I tried to peek into the windows, something in me desperately needed to see inside, to see something familiar.

"Bella?"

His voice was like a caress, all of my molecules attracted in his direction.

I turned, and saw him standing there barefoot in just his black trousers, his bare chest drawing my eyes, his skin making my mouth water. He was still perfect, lean and built like a runner, or a swimmer. He was still feline fluid movement, as he stepped closer to me.

I swallowed and squared up to him, "Um. I don't know who that was or what," I uncrossed one of my arms and gestured with my hand, "…that was. But you don't have to worry about, like, calling me or whatever in the morning. In fact, it would be ever so super if you would stay the hell away from me." My tone was slightly caustic, and I wished he would just walk away and let me wallow alone. I took the last puff on my cigarette and flicked it into the grass.

He moved so fast it startled me, and I gasped. He reached for me, with those carnal fingers of his.

I flinched away from him, my eyes finding a spot in the trees to my left.

"I just want to crawl into a hole and die." My eyes watered and I clenched my teeth, not wanting him to see I was so close to losing it.

As quick as I drew in my next breath, I was pressed against the window of the house, the cool glass fragile against my back, his dominating presence pressed against me. I wanted to say no, but my body betrayed me, silently screaming scent wrapped around me, his arms on either side of my head, as he bent his head to my neck. His mouth skimmed over my pulse to my cheek before whispering in my ear, "There are many euphemisms for it, Bella. I'll assume you are alluding to _le petite mort_."My insides melted at the French words that liquefied from his perfect mouth and injected straight into my bloodstream.

His mouth continued to move over my skin, down my cheek, over my throat, grazing the small bit of my shoulder that was exposed. He pressed closer again, and I closed my eyes, breathing in. I tried to focus, but I couldn't. My brain flickered over the movements of his body on mine, my nipples pressed to his chest, his arms on either side of me, his hands pressed against the glass.

The sound of the sleet falling around us was like tiny pin pricks to my already frazzled nerves. I struggled to center on the sounds rather than his lips, his mouth slowly unravelling me.

Jess would be here any minute and with him so close, I didn't know if I wanted to stay or not.

His voice echoed my thoughts, "Come back with me. You cannot stand out here all night." His lips grazed my cheekbone and my mind started to go blank.

"A friend is coming to get me," I choked out.

No sooner had I said it, a car horn beeped. I could hear Jess shouting my name from the front. Headlights flickered over the trees when her car pulled up the driveway. His body tensed against mine, and I could tell he wasn't going to let go of me easily.

"Please, Edward."

He closed his dark eyes, and then shoved away from the window, effectively releasing me. He was still close enough though that our bodies touched, as I brushed past him. I tried to keep the small whimper that escaped from me quiet, but I knew he had heard me. His hand latched onto my arm as Jess called out for me again.

"This is not finished, Bella."

I tried to shrug his arm off, but his fingers tightened around my muscle. We stood there for a moment, trying to stare each other down.

I looked away first and he eventually dropped his hand. When he did, I ran to the front of the house through the sleet. I was freezing, my feet were soaking wet, and my hair was covered in icy rain.

Jess had the door open for me and my teeth started to chatter, as I shut the door and buckled my seatbelt. I crossed my arms in front of me and tried to get warm.

"Geez, Bella!" She reached over and turned the heating on at full blast. She drove the car out of the neighborhood and onto the main road.

The car was silent except for the sound of air blowing from the heater vents in the car and the wipers clearing ice and water from the windshield.

Jess was wearing a pair of hot pink yoga pants and a matching hoodie. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and somehow, at three AM, she managed to look put together.

Meanwhile, I was braless, pantyless, barefoot and dying for another cigarette. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Fuck."

Jess looked at me, and then went back to the road.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Jess, I'm a fucking mess. I think there is either something wrong with me, or I am paying for some horrendous thing I did in a past life."

Jess smirked, "We both know there is nothing wrong with you, and I'm sure you're not paying for anything, Bella. What happened?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I groaned.

"Try me, hun."

I cleared my throat and fiddled with my hair. Jess stopped at a red light. The light glowed into the car, giving everything a sinister feeling.

"Right well, I had another date with Edward."

Her head turned to look at me so fast I swear she must have whiplash, "You mean the hot mess across the street?"

I nodded. She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the road again, "Go on."

"We went to the closing night for Inferno."

"Wait. How did you go on a date to your own show? Weren't you back stage? You love closing night."

Oh yeah. I hadn't exactly told Jess about my arm.

"Well, there was an accident. I um. I haven't been backstage in over a week."

"Bella! What do you mean an accident?!"

I took a deep breath and told her everything. The set piece falling, the stitches, the holing myself up in the house for a week. I even told her about the slurpee. She giggled at that and I smiled as well. I told her about Thanksgiving, and that Edward had come over.

"How did that go?"

"We...I...we talked about stuff." I tried to keep my tone even.

"Uh uh. You need to give me them details, girl. I can feel you blushing from here."

Jess had known me since we had been in high school together. We had drifted in and out of each other's lives during college. But when she'd heard Jake and I had divorced, she had called me and kept me from imploding inward.

Jess knew everything. She was that one person who kept me from locking myself up inside my head during one of the most devastating times of my life.

So I spilled the details of that night, and she listened in silence, while I told her about whatever it was that was going on between me and Edward. Which gave me a sounding board for my thoughts.

When I finished, she drove the car in silence, and I sat fidgeting with the edge of my sweater.

Finally she spoke, "Bella, you know I'm here for you. I know whatever I say right now is not something you're really ready to take in, and I know sooner or later, your thoughts will arrive at the same station."

She was right. I could barely tolerate my own thoughts at the moment.

We pulled up in front of her building, and she found a parking spot quickly. We ran for the front door, and she jammed her finger at the button to call the elevator. She looked me up and down while we were waiting while pursing her lips.

"I'm thinking shower, change of clothes, and a cup of tea."

"This is why I love you, Jess."

An hour later, I was showered and had traded my wet clothes for a borrowed pair of Jess's yoga pants and a t-shirt. My hair was wrapped in a towel, and I clutched a cup of steaming tea in my hands and a lit cigarette between my fingers. It was dark, the only lights in the room were moonlight and the muted glow of the city from the balcony window.

Jess stared at me in silence. A clock ticked somewhere in the apartment and Tyler snored softly from the bedroom. I had just told her the events of the evening in their entirety.

"So you're embarrassed because that guy busted in on the best sex you were about to have in your entire life?"

I nodded.

"Do you want to be with Edward?"

I stared at my tea, before putting it down on a coaster that rested on the table. I flicked cigarette in an ashtray and held it up to my lips. I inhaled, deeper than I should, and blew smoke into the air between us.

"I don't know what the fuck I want, Jess."

"Bella. I'm talking as a friend here. Ok?"

"Ok..."

"Bella, what the hell? You left Jacob behind two years ago. You left that small town bullshit and have started over here. Isn't it nice to have some guy who likes you? Who thinks you're sexy? Who makes you feel wanted?"

"Jess, what if I am totally fucked up? What if all the stuff that happened with Jake has messed me up and I'm a total fail with relationships?!"

"And if you are? How will you ever know unless you try? And so what if you are? What's the worst that could happen? Mind blowing sex with some fuck hot guy? The trade off sounds pretty good to me, Bells."

My mouth twitched, "I suppose you're right."

"Bella, do me a favor. Pursue this. Give it a shot. If it turns out shitty, you can blame me. If he's that _into_ you, just go for it. Shit, any guy who wants to get it on with you, after meeting all those dorky tech guys you work with, is a winner."

I stared at her, and she smiled back at me in the darkness.

"Just give it a shot, ok hun?"

I dragged on my cigarette again and exhaled. "Ok."

She yawned then, and stood up. "Right. I'm going to try and get a couple hours of sleep before work. Fridge is stocked, vodka in the freezer. Help yourself to whatever."

"Thanks Jess."

"You're welcome. And think about what I said." She walked over and hugged me, in the way Jess always hugs and for once, it didn't feel as awkward.

She released me, and I listened to her footsteps retreat down the hallway. I stubbed out my cigarette and let my mind wander. I took a deep breath and opened that door to the only real point of reference I had for relationships: my mom and dad, and Jake and me.

I settled into older memories like an old uncomfortable chair that I hadn't sat in for quite a while.

Mom had enough of being married to Charlie when I was still very young. He was still new to the police force at that point. One night while he was out on patrol, she packed me and her things up in that old Chevy of hers and drove away. One of my earliest childhood memories was the way the orange streetlights had made the shadows in the car seem scary as they moved over my legs.

She died of a brain hemorrhage when I was thirteen. By default, I ended up with my dad. Chief Charlie, a bachelor who suddenly found a pubescent girl on his hands complete with teenage angst and hormones.

Luckily, I'd had Jake to fall back on. Throughout my obligatory visits to my father in the summer, it had always been Jake. Slightly younger than me, handsome in a boyish way with dark eyes and dark hair. He was part of a local community of Native Americans, and his father was drinking buddies with Charlie.

When I moved up to Forks, Washington permanently, Jake and I had grown from friends, to best friends. Together we had seemed like some unstoppable force, like gravity holding me to the earth. What I hadn't accounted for was Jake deciding when he had what he wanted, deciding he didn't want it anymore.

He had always urged me forward, to levels and I had never been sure of. I had allowed myself to be vulnerable with him, I trusted him with everything. He held on to those secrets but played me expertly, setting me up and allowing me to fall.

The day I had signed those divorce papers, I thought I would feel liberated, but I hadn't. I didn't know who I was anymore. The worst part was, Jake was the golden boy, and everyone in our small town thought the sun shined out of his ass, my father included.

Which is why Charlie and I don't speak anymore, because Charlie blames me for the divorce.

I sighed, and picked up my tea that had gone lukewarm. I got up and walked into the kitchen, not bothering with a light. I found the microwave easy enough and figured out how to nuke my tea to warm it back up.

I watched as the black mug rotated in the light, the soft hum soothing.

I thought about this evening, and then about Edward.

I bit my lip, wondering if I could do this.

_Of course you fucking can. _

Well, Edward certainly has my vagina's vote.

Maybe Jess was right. Maybe I needed to just let this go and see where it headed. Jake was an asshole. What if he was wrong, like, about everything.

Maybe I could do the damn dating thing. I would need to set up some boundaries with Edward. He would need to know I had to take this slow.

He would need to know that he had to start locking his fucking door.

***

EPOV

After Bella ran from me, I headed back to the house to dispose of Emmett.

He was waiting, leaning against the wall, putting his hand against a dent that was the size of his head.

_That's gonna leave a mark. _

From what I could gather in his thoughts, he had asked Alice how I was doing. She told him exactly how I was, and he took it upon himself to check on me.

"Emmett, if you don't leave now, you will be leaving without an appendage."

He looked up, grinning at me.

_That's the second time you've not seen me coming, little brother. Something you wanna tell me._

His mind flashed to Bella, naked on the rug beneath me.

A rumble built in my chest, as I glared at him.

He put his hands up, _Easy, tiger. So she's different, huh?_

I looked away from him and into the living room. She'd left her shoes and her lingerie behind.

"I don't know."

He snorted, _Yeah right, Edward. You can usually hear me coming a mile away. Although, I can see why you were so engrossed. _

I growled at him this time, "Leave. Now."

He held his hands up, _Ok. Ok. I'm going. _He moved towards the doorway, brushing past me, and I heard his thoughts, though not directed at me.

_Wait t'ill I tell Rose, she's gonna flip. _

I shut the door behind him.

Moving into the living room, I picked up her things and for the first time in a century, my hands shook.

***

BPOV

Jess dragged herself into the living room, bags under her eyes and stifling a yawn.

"Hi, honey. Did you sleep?" she said behind her hand.

I shook my head, "No, but I did make some decisions."

She poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot Tyler had started before he left earlier.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." I curled my legs up on the couch as she came over with her steaming mug. I brushed my dried curls behind my shoulder as she sat down.

I took a deep breath and met her sleepy eyes.

"I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna not give a fuck and just experience this, and try not to think about the past. He's hot, he doesn't live with his mother, and he gives me butterflies."

I saw Jess smile at me, before trying to hide it behind her mug. She swallowed, "I'm sorry. Did you, Bella Swan, just say butterflies and go all googly eyed on me?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny, and if you tell anyone, I will be forced to murder you assassin style."

Jess choked on her coffee. "My, you are in a very different place this morning. I'll need to be going soon, can I drop you anywhere?"

"Yeah, can you drop me at the theater? My bike is still there and I want to bring it home."

"No problem, honey. We'll leave in twenty."

Jess dutifully dropped me at the backdoor to the theater. Marcus was at the door, and there was something different in his eyes when he looked at me.

"Everything ok, Marcus?"

He nodded, and I left him to it. The way he and Edward had reacted to one another last night had been odd, as if they had known each other or something. Marcus seemed stiff, but I figured he was being protective, the way he was looking at Edward, like he was trying to communicate his thoughts.

I shrugged mentally. Men are fucking weird.

I headed back to the lockers, the dark dimly lit hallway giving me the jitters for some reason. The walls were tiled, and the electric buzz lamps gave the tiling a hospital green tint. There was an odd sound behind me, like the brush of fabric or scuff of a shoe.

I turned around but no one was there. I really needed to get a grip, it was like I was hyper aware of things today.

I arrived at my locker and pulled out the leather pants that I had stowed in there from when I had last rode the bike on opening night. I laid them on the bench and kept reaching, thankful for my own foresight. I always kept a change of clothes in the locker, underwear included. I pulled the long sleeved t-shirt out; it was midnight blue and soft with age. The black bra and panties were plain, and I went into one of the bathroom stalls to quickly change.

I came out, feeling almost brand new and quickly pulled the leather pants on. My riding boots were in the locker as well, thank God. Wearing Jess's pink keds were driving me crazy. I shoved them on and pulled the leather jacket out of the locker. I zipped up and out of habit stuck my hands in the pocket. I felt a piece of paper brush against my fingers and I pulled it out.

A grin broke out on my face as Abe Lincoln stared back at me. I stuffed him back in my pocket, thinking of the revenge I was gonna have on that slurpee machine.

I pulled my helmet from the top of the lockers, stuffed Jess's clothes into my backpack and closed the locker door shut. I slung the back over my shoulders and walked back out to the backstage area, where my bike was covered up and in a dark corner.

I pulled the cover off, and as I folded it up and put it on a prop table, Marcus was there at the door. He was looking me over, inspecting me.

"See anything you like, Marcus?"

"Just making sure you're alright, Bella. Did you enjoy your evening?"

"I don't know if enjoy is a word I'd use."

His brows furrowed.

"Don't worry, Marcus...it's a long story I'm not gonna bore you with."

I walked the bike outside into the gray light. The air was chilly, but I felt warm and protected in the leather. I pulled the bike helmet on and straddled the bike. Marcus closed the door behind me.

I kicked the engine, and it roared to life between my legs.

I flipped the visor down, pulled my gloves on and headed off down the street. It felt good, I felt a little bit more like myself on the bike. I maneuvered through the streets and headed over the bridge towards Mike's house. When I arrived, it looked like the party had spilled out onto the front yard, there were plastic cups lying in the grass and a living room chair.

I walked to the front door and knocked. No one answered. Well shit. I tried the handle and the door creaked open. The smell of last night's alcohol on people's breath slapped me in the face, and I picked quietly through the house into the living room. There were several of my crew members there, passed out. I found my purse underneath Yorkie, who was laid out on the couch.

"Swan. I'm dying. Kiss me."

"Fuck you, Yorkie. Nice try, though."

He sighed, then moaned. "Fuck, even breathing hurts. Thank fuck the theater is dark today."

I snickered, as I looked at the bodies around me, "Yeah, pretty much. See you guys tomorrow."

"Later sexy."

I rolled my eyes and opened my purse. Everything looked to be in order, and my keys and phone were inside.

I walked back outside and flung my purse into my backpack, before starting the bike again.

I sped off towards home, looking forward to being in my own house again. I pulled into the drive and dug out the remote for the garage door.

I got off the bike in the garage and pulled out the tarp to cover it. I placed the helmet on the shelf and ran my fingers through my hair, pulling it out from beneath my jacket so it flowed like black silk over my leather jacket.

I walked back down the driveway to get my newspaper and saw Edward crossing the street, a determined look on his face. My heartbeat picked up at the sight of him. He wore slate trousers that moved with his long legs and a thick sweater that was only a shade lighter. The sleeves were pushed up and his forearms were lightly dusted with hair. I remember the way the muscles twitched when his arms moved last night, undressing himself. His hair was carefully messy and I wanted to run my fingers through it again.

He walked towards me, his stride confident and I licked my lips as I watched him move. He had a small box in his hands, and I tried for a smile when he got closer.

His eyes were intense, and I resisted the urge to press against his chest and kiss his neck. Instead I ran my hand through my hair again and he watched the motion, his dark eyes hungry.

I licked my lips again, and his eyes were staring where my tongue had been. It made my knees go weak, wondering if he would kiss me in the middle of the driveway.

"Hi." My voice was husky, but I managed to choke out the greeting.

His mouth kicked up in that smirky grin that made girly parts come to life, "Hi. You left these, last night."

I shifted, flinging my bag over my shoulder and the newspaper under my arm, I took the box from him. It was a white gift box. I opened it up and my shoes, bra, and lacy shorts were inside. I bit my lip, a moment of inspiration taking me.

I pulled the shoes out but left the underwear in.

I shoved the box back towards him, "Thanks. You can have these."

His eyes widened in shock.

"There are plenty more where that came from. Let me know when you want to add to your collection."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, and I wanted to bite his neck, he looked fucking delicious.

I stepped towards him and his eyes watched me, almost wearily. I stood up on my toes and kissed his lips. He dropped the box and pulled me closer. The newspaper fluttered to the ground as I grabbed his sweater with my hands, pulling him closer. I sucked on his bottom lip, biting it, until finally our mouths melded together, his tongue touching mine, his taste intoxicating. His hands were in my hair, pulling through the strands, and I pressed against him. My nipples thanked me, and I felt his teeth graze my lips as he pulled back slightly.

My eyes looked into his darker ones, "Tomorrow night, at the Bauhaus at seven, Edward. Don't be late."

His hands left my hair and ran over my shoulders, squeezing my upper arms. "Seven."

His lips brushed over mine, and he smirked at me again before picking up his box and walking away. I sighed, watching him move back across the street.

I picked up the paper from the driveway and walked towards the garage. I hit the remote and closed the door and it motorized itself down. I slipped into the house through the connecting door and laid my stuff on the couch. My boots made their familiar _clump clump_ sounds on the linoleum.

The phone rang and thinking it was Jess, I answered.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

_Jake._

"Bella? Don't hang u-"

But I did. And the beeping sound that the phone made as I hung up on him was incredibly fucking satisfying.

**

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**

**A/N**

**See you at 7 at the Bauhaus. Don't be late. Edward doesn't like to be kept waiting...**

**Hi to new readers btw...thanks for all the love.**

**Review?**


	10. Chapter 9: Mephistopheles

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer gave him sparkles. I gave him a knife and a sex drive. Shrugs.**

**lambcullen owns a pink pen made of win and she also owns me. Nom nom nom.**

**Snshyne, you're still on the team…catch you next time.**

**Speshul thx to roselover for pre-reading at short notice. I loves you lots.**

**Songs for your pleasure:  
****Syriana Theme: Alexandre Desplat  
****Bloodsport: Sneakerpimps  
****Gypsy Music: Red Violin Soundtrack  
****Paint It Black: Rolling Stones flamenco cover by Nathan Hinojosa  
****Perfect Drug: Nine Inch Nails**

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_"If the swift moment I entreat: _Tarry a while! You are so fair! _Then forge the shackles to my feet" Faust's Tragedy, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_

BPOV

Sunday was a dark day in the theatre, but Monday was all business. Which meant meetings with James and the rest of the department heads. Christmas season was always busy and our theater was famous for providing anti-thesis Christmas plays. This year, we had accepted and scheduled a very dark version of Sleeping Beauty.

The rehearsals had already started for it, the set already built and on stage, in anticipation of the big push to Christmas. During the empty period between Inferno, the theater hosted smaller concert pieces by local artists as well as other miscellaneous acts to keep revenue flowing between productions.

I was watching Yorkie and Newton go through lighting cues, talking to each other through their headsets between the stage and the booth when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out, seeing there was a text message from Edward.

**Bella-I regret to inform you I will not be able to make it to the Bauhaus. However, I would like to see you Saturday if you will accompany me out. -E**

I pursed my lips. I wonder why he was canceling. I was dying to ask him but if he wanted me to know, he would have told me.

**Saturdays fine but Im working Do u want 2 meet me at backstage door around 9:30 x**

I sent the text and bit my lip, hoping he would reply soon.

**I will meet you at 9:30. -E**

When he texted me back so quickly, my gut tightened, and I drew in this quick little breath. I could just see him sitting there, his brows narrowed in concentration, his fingers working over the buttons, the line of his jaw flexing while he typed his message, his dark eyes brooding and intense.

Sigh.

_Bella Swan, did you actually just sigh? _

I made a face at my internal self and told her to fuck off. I was having a fucking moment here.

***

EPOV

I placed the phone in my pocket, satisfied that my issue was taken care of.

I had fed the other night, the entire episode thoroughly robotic.

Fuck. Drink. Escape.

I was merely sustaining myself and the frustration that came with that was only making me worse. The sex was angrier, rougher, darker. For the first time in a long time, I had felt a disgust not only with the act but with myself.

The excitement of watching the final throes of ecstasy, hearing those blindingly oblivious thoughts usually captivated me; a drug that I constantly wanted more of.

However, last evening had been almost boring. The noisy thoughts and different smells an annoyance. There was no thrill, no enjoyment, no satisfaction.

Pure Disgust.

I drew in air to my useless lungs, and even now my besotted mind hoped for even the hint of her smell. And as a lab rat pressed a lever and received a reward, I could smell the box upstairs which still hinted at her distinctive fragrance.

There was this conflict, a struggle between wanting her carnally and wanting her for the pure enjoyment of tasting her dark blood run over my tongue and down my throat. I growled in frustration both struggling, scraping and fighting for release.

I needed out of this house. This place, that was way too close to her.

I grabbed my sunglasses and my coat, sliding them both on. My car keys were where I had left them and I slinked to the garage.

Getting into the car, I opened the garage door and quickly backed out. Not sure where I was headed I made my way into the city. Before my mind had checked the impulse, I was in front Alice's. I parked and got out and she let me in without hesitation.

She opened the door to her apartment, her eyebrows raised and then narrowing as her citrine eyes looked into mine. She flounced away from me, her unnatural beauty hard with annoyance.

_Feeling a little lost, brother of mine?_

I cleared my throat and stepped over the threshold. She kept her back to me as we walked into the living room.

"You could say that." I took a seat in my usual spot on the couch and she sat opposite me, like some femme fatale character. All that she was missing was a cigarette. Her darkly bobbed hair was smooth and harsh against her tiny features.

"Well then. Spill what's on your mind. I promise not to peek." she said and her mind went blank, and I was unsure for whom she meant that benefit.

"I have spoken with Marcus."

She seemed unsurprised . She was silent, expecting me to continue.

"He seems to think I have found something of great value."

Her answer was a single raised artfully arched eyebrow.

"He suspects I have found my singer and...more."

Alice looked at me, her face and mind blank but then she opened a door and allowed me to peek inside her mind a second before she reacted. A picture of myself, angry and unsatisfied from last night.

She snorted. Then she laughed, a tinkling sound that peeled around the silent room. Her perfect teeth razor sharp as she enjoyed her own joke at my expense. She attempted sobriety as I shot her a dark look.

"Edward, only you. You are such a bastard, I believe fate has caught up with you finally, and is enjoying the hold she has on your balls."

She clapped her hands loudly as she guffawed, "Oh, this is too perfect. Wait till I tell Jasper. Edward finds his mate, and he has to resist killing her. How cliché, Edward. Really, you are the biggest drama queen I have ever met. The best part is, you haven't changed a bit."

I narrowed my eyes at her and she knew she was getting to me.

"I mean, you storm out of Carlisle and Esme's lives how long ago? Then you show up here, hoping for what? Understanding? Support?" She sighed, "You are over a century old, it's time to get over yourself a little."

"Quite right, sister dear. I am old enough to make my own choices and decisions and not to be seen as some sort of progeny to be parented for the rest of eternity." My eyes glared into hers, and we attempted to stare each other down.

She quirked a smile at me and her expression gentled, "I suppose you may have a point. But you are a member of our family, our coven. Even if you try to go nomad, there will always be a small part of you that belongs to us."

I said nothing in response, and the silence stretched between us.

She sat back on the couch and smiled all too sweetly, "So did you and Emmett have a nice chat?"

I snarled at the memory, close to goal and having it stolen from me.

I stood up swiftly, intending to leave. She was at my side, her hand on my arm.

"Don't go, Edward. I'll play nice. Let me help you." Her eyes, so different from mine, pleaded.

I turned away from her and walked towards the door, opening and closing it quietly, her thoughts following me.

_You can't keep this up forever, Edward._

I went and sat in the car. The urge to punch the steering wheel was nearly overwhelming, but breaking the car would only exacerbate my temper.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked up a number I had not used in a decade. I pressed dial and held the phone to my ear.

It was answered after the third ring.

"Edward."

"Caius. New York?"

"Yes. Can I expect you?"

"Yes. Tomorrow."

"Charter jet can have you here tonight."

"Tonight."

"Excellent."

The call was ended from his end first. There was something about Caius that would always make me shudder, always cause a certain curl around my lip when I thought of him. But as far as mentors went, he was the only one willing.

Caius was also a member of the Volturi, the same ruling house that Marcus belonged to. Caius was colder than Marcus, more calculating. He had to be, I supposed, as he was the only third of the monarchy that did not have any more special ability than a normal vampire. His age gave him clout, his experienced span on Earth impressive enough.

When I had extracted myself from the ties of my coven, I had roamed, wild, hungry, and seemingly caught between two worlds. Light and dark, push and pull, right and wrong. When I looked in the mirror in a gas station bathroom, the last traces of golden redemption from following the rules looked back at me. They weren't my eyes, they were my father's.

And I hated him and myself.

I starved myself, unwilling to follow Carlisle's ways, and unsure if I would be able to follow the instinctive urges of my own primal beast. I was desperate to prove him wrong, to show him I could live quite happily from the flesh of what we were made to hunt.

That was when Caius had found me. I was very sick, or as sick as my kind could be. I was ravenous, my body ached, my eyes dark and sunken, and my face cadaverous.

He was in his prime, his eyes ruby red, his skin glowing, his blond hair clubbed back behind his head. He was immaculately dressed compared to my ragged appearance.

He had taken it upon himself to feed me. He brought me a young girl, a college student. Her thoughts were numbed with alcohol, her body young and healthy. She was an offering I took willingly, the reward of her dark elixir sliding over my tongue, down my throat and settling in my dormant insides. I was dead. I was alive.

And because of my greed, she was not. Her death tore at me, shame ripping through me as I held her in my arms. Caius laughed when I wiped her blood from my chin.

_Do not fight what you are, Edward._

I looked away from him as he stepped closer to me.

_They are cattle: stupid, ungrateful, selfish. _

I stayed with him, slowly regaining my health but the loathing I felt was killing the very last vestiges of my humanity.

One evening I was huddled over my latest obscenity, wasted in front of me.

_Come. Let me show you something._

His mind showed me pictures of a dark room with flashing lights. He lifted me up and away from the corpse in my lap.

_You will need to change, first. You cannot go out in the rags you've been wandering in. _

He led me to his apartment, which was a dark cold loft, lined with books. There was a bed along the far wall, and a fireplace. Above the fireplace, a TV was mounted on the wall. The entire place would have been cold had every wall not been painted red.

He threw clothes at me and said he would meet me downstairs on the street. He left, closing the door behind him. I changed and threw my old clothes away. The expensive cut of the trousers fit very well, and the shirt was crisp, the stark white fabric sliding over my skin.

I met him downstairs and his mind was unsettlingly silent as he led me through alleys and down dark streets. Finally we stopped in front of a club, base beating frantically inside. Caius sailed past the bouncers and I followed him.

Inside, humans provided a soft crush, and if he had not fed me beforehand, I would have taken the entire room and instead of one death on my conscience this evening, it would have been fifty. Warmth pressed against me, and my body reacted to it, wanting to bring it closer, to feed.

Thoughts swirled in my head, and I closed my eyes trying to shut it out.

I put my nose to the air and inhaled, enjoying the waft like a human enjoyed the aroma of a meal being prepared, stewing, simmering.

We sat in a round booth at the back of the club in a dark quiet corner. Within five minutes of sitting down, women surrounded us. Their clothes were revealing, their scent mouth-watering. They were diverse, two blondes, a brunette, and a dark skinned girl with exotic features.

Caius chatted to them and they fawned over him, but hesitated in their approach to me.

His eyes met mine, _Relax Edward. You will scare them away._

Although I could see perfectly in the dark, a strobe light constantly flashed, making the movement around us seem animated, as if I was missing something between flashes. The girls seemed to move in on us, like a pack of hyenas on a fresh kill.

I watched as the girl with the exotic almond eyes sat next to him. He turned towards her and kissed her, his mouth hungry and I felt intrusive, sitting there. Then he turned his head from her and kissed the blonde to his right, her hands in his hair, his hand caressing her chin. He sat back and exhaled as the two girls leaned in and kissed each other.

The aroused, but slightly drowsy, thoughts of the girls around us grew hazy. There was the flash of a knife in his hand, and he gently pulled the two girls apart. He kissed them both again, enjoying what they offered. I watched the blonde disappear under the table, as he kissed the other girl. The distinct rasp of a zipper could be heard by my sensitive ears above the baseline of the music.

Caius nibbled down the dark beauty's neck, his hand cupping her breast with his free hand.

There was a girl on the other side of me and I looked at her as she sat down.

_Oh my God, he is gorgeous._

I sighed, bored with the same old reactions to unnatural beauty.

Her eyes unfocused for a second and she leaned into me, whispering in my ear, "I want to fuck you."

Her hand slid up my thigh, my cock hard from the erotic sounds, sights and smells around us. She undid my trousers, and I felt her skin, hot against mine, as her hand delved inside. I hissed as her fingers wrapped around the shaft of my cock.

Her eyes were hooded when she moved closer to me and her tongue licked my bottom lip as she squeezed me.

_I need you inside me. _

Caius knife flashed out of the corner of my eye, and my senses processed the tang of fresh dark nectar on the air.

I snarled low in my chest but it was swallowed by the loud house music around us. Caius drank from the neck of the girl and she arched against him, aroused by his ministrations. Her fingers fisted in his shirt and she angled her neck giving him easier access. His tongue lapped at her, making his venom sweetly close the wound when he was finished.

He licked the knife clean and handed it to me. As he did so, the girl who had been under the table reappeared, wiping her mouth.

Everything around me seemed charged with a sinisterly stimulating energy. The girl with my cock in her hands was kissing my throat, her fingers in my hair, her nails on my scalp. She moved then, bringing my cock out before straddling me, her skirt riding high. Her hands balanced on my shoulders and I exhaled as she sighed before sinking down, my cock inside her vibrating and pulsing with her heartbeat.

She bit her lip then and ground against me. She moaned hotly before moving steadily, riding me, her hips moving up and down. She was hot, wet, willing, and her thoughts were desperately trying to reach a pinnacle as she went faster and faster.

_The knife, Edward. Use the knife. _

Could I do it? Would I be able to keep myself from killing her. I gripped the handle in my hand. Her neck was so close, her blood pounding, calling to me hypnotically as she went faster and faster. Her thoughts burned wildly in my mind as she fucked me.

_Fuck me, oh God, oh God, oh yes._

She cried out softly, her orgasm intense, her thoughts scattering.

She lay her head on my shoulder, trying to recover. She panted, her scent and the smell of her sex filling my nostrils. I brought the knife up, no longer able to resist the fruit she offered.

I found the sweet spot of her aorta and made my incision. The blood flowed freely, and I caught it with my mouth. It was like warm gentle rain, soothing and nourishing. I was still inside her as I sucked at her neck and she flinched, her hips moving and she whimpered, cumming again.

I gave as I got, emptying myself inside her as her blood pulsed into my mouth.

I did as Caius had done, using a small amount of my venom to close over the wound.

I leaned back against the booth, sated.

I lifted her from me, withdrawing, and set her beside me. She got up and staggered away. I adjusted my clothes and Caius motioned that we should leave.

I sat, wide eyed as he stood up, smirking at me.

_Come, Edward._

And I followed him because he made a path worth following.

***

EPOV

I found his apartment easily, and when I opened the door, I found it unchanged, the red paint, the black worktops, even the books seemed untouched.

The smell of flesh, blood, and human arousal filled the room.

Caius lay naked on his bed, surround by what appeared to be sleeping nude women. He pulled the white linen sheet up and licked his lips which were drawn in a smug smirk. His eyes were bright red and sparkled predatorily.

_And to what do I owe this visit, young Edward._

I looked out the window at the gray overcast sky, small shots of sunlight peeked through but were quickly swallowed up by cloud.

"I am unsure."

He was silent, waiting for me to continue.

I tried from another angle.

"I have spoken with Marcus."

He snorted.

_Marcus is a fool. He remains on a level with myself and Aro because he is what he is. What nonsense has he filled your head with? _

"Il mio cantante."

That got his attention. His mind worked quickly, going through scenarios, different reports of elusive singers, the blood described as close to heaven as our kind would ever get.

_Verified?_

I shook my head, "No. But Marcus thinks the potential bond between us is stronger than anything he has ever seen. Ever."

The only way to verify a singer was for the listener to dissect the song, note by bloody note.

Caius did not believe in singers, or reports of them. Usually.

_Nonsense. If she's in your blood, be in hers, be in her and move on. They are food, Edward. They are sustenance, not mythical creatures. We are the superior beings, Edward._

I looked over at him then, his eyes burning, incensed. One of the women started to stir, her heartbeat awake.

_I must have drank more than I thought. _She sat up, seeing the sheets, the women beside her, and took in her own nudity. Her red hair flaming around her pale delicate shoulders. Her breathing quickened, and she looked at Caius. His icy blond hair loose and gracing his shoulders.

She noticed his eyes, her thoughts panicked and swirling in her head as her heart beat with fear.

I'm dreaming. This can't be real. Not real. Not real.

She said it out loud, "Not real."

"I'm afraid it is, my pet." he purred.

His eyes went back to me as he reached over and snapped her neck.

He laughed. _You see, Edward? They are meaningless. Toys for play. _

I looked at him, and felt that familiar curl to my lip as I turned and walked out. I stiffened, experiencing de ja vu as his thoughts followed me out.

_You can't keep this up forever, Edward. _

I moved out on to the street below, finding myself back in that alley. My mind showed me her corpse, still warm. No rigor, no pulse, still fresh, still young, her heart healthy, her thoughts had slowly faded, quieter and quieter as she sank further.

I exhaled a breath, wondering if I could find equilibrium between the dark self, and the darker self.

***

BPOV

I refused to be nervous. Incredibly fuck hot guy was meeting me after work. We would go out for a few drinks. I would stare at his hands, his sex hair, his dark eyes. He would do that heated look thing he does which makes me wonder why I bothered with underwear at all when it continued to melt in his presence.

I tugged at the black lace dress, the scalloped edges that ran high around the back of my neck and ended in a low v between my breasts. A small mini corset cinched in at my waist and tied in the back. The edges of the dress were scalloped lace as well, just above my knees but ended in a slit up my left thigh.

Angela had insisted on the tiny corset, had pulled it from the costume room and laced me into it. I had applied dark black eyeliner to my top lids, flicking it out at the end. My lips were blood red, making my teeth seem white even in the muted light of the locker room.

I wore black satin peep toe shoes. They had little black ribbons that tied around my ankles. I shoved into my leather jacket and pulled my black hair loose.

I stepped out and Angela was carrying some cloth to the sewing room.

"Holy shit, girl. Look at your sexy vampy self."

I blushed and looked down at my outfit.

"Are you sure this isn't too much?"

"Um, Bella. I'm about to switch teams and steal you for myself. Now get out of here before Yorkie sees you and shoots his load." She smiled at me, and I huffed a laugh.

"Bye, Angela."

"Go get some, honey."

_Oh God. _

I went outside and waited at the doors. I lit a cigarette and blew smoke into the night air, the steam of my breath and the cigarette smoke streaming above me. I watched it curl like a ghost expelled and it floated upward towards the night sky.

He appeared, his walk unmistakable and my kitty went on high alert. God, why does he have to smirk like that when he looks at me. I bit my lip, hoping the smudge proof lipstick stuck to it's word.

He was closer now, his dark eyes watching me and a brightness was in them I hadn't seen before.

"Hi." His voice curled around me and I stubbed out my cigarette on the brick side of the building and dropped it in the metal box designated for dead ends.

"Hi."

"Are you ready?"

"Definitely."

He offered his arm and I took it, his body brushing against mine and I closed my eyes briefly, trying not to melt into my expensive shoes.

"You smell lovely."

I wasn't wearing perfume, having forgotten it when I packed my things this morning to get ready after work.

"Um, thanks."

We walked quietly and he led me along the streets.

"So um. Where are we going?" I was dying to know, wondering what he had in mind other than coffee.

"You'll see."

The next few blocks were filled with heated silence, slight brushes, his fingers stroking over mine. His footsteps measured and slow, matching mine.

We stopped outside a steel door, and I could hear what sounded like Latin music inside. I followed him in, checking our coats at the door. This left him in his crisp white shirt, slightly unbuttoned and black trousers, his shoes highly glossed even in the dull overhead light.

The Latin music was louder now, filling the small hall that led to a set of stairs. Edward helped me down and I nearly stumbled into him on the last step. He caught me, his arms around me and my heart kicked up, matching the faster drums on the other side of the wooden door at the bottom of the stares. His eyes bore into mine, and in the small light at the bottom of the stairs, I swore they almost seemed a dark crimson.

I blinked and we were walking through the door. The light was red and blue gels, aimed at the stage and the dance floor, a group of men played various instruments and the percussion beat around the room involving everyone, on and off the dance floor.

I watched the couples moving in front of the small stage, their bodies artfully finding rhythm and undulating underneath the red spotlight. The live band was loud, the air fully charged with something I had never felt before. I was fully aware of Edward's hand at my back and he leaned over to speak in my ear over the music.

"I can feel you hesitating."

I looked at him, his eyes searching mine and I moved to speak in his ear, "I don't dance, Edward."

His eyes met mine again and he leaned towards my ear. This time, his lips brushed against the shell and I shivered, "Maybe you haven't found the right partner, Bella."

The way he said my name, his perfect lips brushing against my ear, my nipples tightened automatically. The drum beats matched my quickened pulse. We were on the edge of the floor now and I was standing at his side. He pulled me up against his chest suddenly, his moves lightning quick. My breasts were smashed against him, my breathing in pants as the drums seemed to fill my chest, beating inside me until I could actually feel it in my lungs.

Being this close to him, I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate under the lights, the crowded club beginning to be too much. His lips were at my ear again.

"Breathe, Bella. I won't let anything happen that you don't want to happen." I moved my head so my cheek rested against his. I closed my eyes and calmed myself down.

"They are playing a Tango, Bella."

I opened my eyes and tried to shift back from him, but he had a hand at my back, anchoring me there.

"It's about dominance, Bella. Rigid and seductive control."

His other hand moved up my side slowly, over my hip, along my ribcage, his palm moving slowly over edge of my breast. He moved my arm until it raised over my head, my elbow bent. He brushed his hand back down, sending tingles and goose bumps running over my skin. The introduction of the song finished and he whipped me closer, my hand in his.

"Put your other arm over mine." I moved my arm so it rested over his, my hand at his back. "Yes. Like that."

He pulled me on the floor and I started to trip over my feet.

His hand shifted at my back, his other hand squeezing mine.

"Bella."

I looked into his eyes and could feel his body rigid and dominant against mine."In this dance, do not worry about your body; it is mine. Feel the music, the rhythm, not the melody." We began to move slowly, and I tried to follow his instruction wanting to desperately not to suck at this._For once in your life, Bella Swan, do not fuck this up._The dancers around us were not paying any attention to me, and I relaxed a little. I closed my eyes, and felt his chest against mine, his hips pressed intimately to me; we seemed to fit music was darker, deeper, and his voice was a low, seductive growl in my ear, "Feel it, Bella. Feel me, moving with you, against you, over you, on you. Feel it in your blood, Bella. I want to be in your blood."

And I surrendered. I closed my eyes and concentrated on his guiding hands, trying to move with him instead of against him. He led, I followed, his body working with mine and I was aware of my nipples pressed against his chest, his hand at my back, the wet between my legs. He pressed closer, and I could feel him hard between us.

I drew in a breath, only aware of him, his hands, and the way I wanted to be pressed against him, naked. His eyes captured mine and I wanted to devour him, his lips, my hands pulling at his hair. I wanted to have crazy wild sex with him, fuck him till I screamed and he moaned-

He leaned down to growl in my ear, "Let's get the fuck out of here."

The way he said fuck sent a thrill from my belly to settle between my legs.

He didn't even wait for an answer.

We were up the steps, our coats reclaimed. His keys in his hands, we were in his car, the engine growling loudly as he ate up the road fast.

"My place."

He pulled into the drive and I opened the garage, the door sliding open and he parked beside the Mustang. The garage door closed behind us.

We were in the house, the door shutting behind us. My purse thunked to the floor where I dropped it. His arms caught me and as his mouth moving over mine. My breathing was heavy with his and I couldn't get enough of him. He kissed me, deeply, and I reached for the buttons on his shirt. His hands held my face before moving down my back and over my ass.

He pulled my dress up and against my lips he said, "Take your thong off."

I reached down and pulled at the straps until they were loose and he shoved it down the rest of the way. My hands were on his shoulders as he bent to take it off and I stepped out of it. Running his hands back up my legs, he cupped my ass before lifting me and slamming me roughly against the door.

"Fuck yes," I rasped as he kissed my throat, supporting me with his weight, and I wrapped my legs around him.

He was undoing his zipper, and they fell with a clunk, his car keys weighing them. His cock was between us and I didn't want to wait anymore, I needed him inside, badly.

He plunged deep and my insides shivered, melted, and I was full. He moved, his breath in my ear as he thrust in and out of me, my back against the wall as he set rhythm and pace. I bit my lip, desperate for more, whimpering every time he buried himself deeper inside.

My hands on his shoulders moved into his hair as he labored. I pulled slightly so his face was close to mine. I kissed his mouth but he quickly took over, his tongue searching and possessive.

With each dominating thrust, I moved my hips against him, the grind and friction between us desperate. My heart raced and a warmth traveled up my legs, the muscles of my thighs, and I felt myself crack, then shatter in his arms. I pulled his hair and cried out and I felt his lips ghost over my neck, mumbling.

It was blinding, white hot and he snarled in my ear as he came inside me. The sound incredibly arousing and as he moved one last time, the pulse built and took me over again.

I was panting in his arms, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. My body felt rubbery. He held me, but his hands seemed unsure. I opened my eyes when he moved and they connected with his. They were darkly satisfied, and I blushed under his knowing stare.

He withdrew, and I moaned, the loss immediate. He let me down slowly, my body sliding against his until my heels touched the floor.

Without taking his eyes from mine, he pulled his trousers back up. My legs seemed unsteady, as I bent to untie the bows around my ankles so I could step out of them.

As I did so, I set them on the kitchen island and retrieved my bag from the floor. I dug inside, finding my cigarettes and lighter.

"Do you mind if I…?"

He shook his head.

I lit that cigarette and exhaled the smoky air.

Jesus Fucking Hot Rod Christ.

Again. I want to do it again. I felt like that kid who had just ridden her first roller coaster ride, and wanted to be in line again.

His arms circled me from behind and I shivered, as his nose skimmed my neck.

"And you said you don't dance, Miss Swan. You're a natural."

He started kissing up the column and I could feel my body reacting, ready again as his lips sucked my earlobe.

The door bell rang and Edward made an odd low sound against my neck.

"Ignore it," he hissed in my ear.

The door was pounded on next, "Bella, I saw you pull up. Answer the fucking door."

_Jake. Fucking Jake. _

I looked into Edward's dark eyes and nearly came on the spot, the want in his eyes was something I could almost taste.

"Just let me get rid of him."

He hesitated for a second and then slowly let go of me.

I walked on unsteady legs, rearranging my dress and wiping at my mouth, hoping I wouldn't have that freshly fucked look about me.

I braced myself and then opened the door.

"What?" I said coldly.

He stood there, his huge frame taking up the front stoop. His wide shoulders and muscles had fascinated me once, but they only stood for lying cheating asshole now.

"We need to talk, can I come in?"

"Nothing to talk about, Jake. Fuck off back to your plastic life and leave me to mine."

"I see you've changed your attitude," His eyes took me in from my toes, working up my legs and over my dress before studying my face, his eyes narrowing, "Those clothes and make up don't make any difference, you know."

"You can go straight to hell, Jake. Do not pass go, do not collect your two hundred bucks."

"You've got quite a mouth on you now."

I shifted, frustrated that he wouldn't take a blatant hint, "I've always had a mouth on me, Jake. I've learned to use it a lot better since I got rid of the fucking dog I had for a husband."

His eyes flashed with anger and his jaw tightened. He clenched his fists and I stepped back from the door, intending to shut it in his face.

I cleared my throat, hoping Edward couldn't hear this exchange. Keeping my voice low, I fixed him with my best bitchface, "Typical Jake, fucking typical. You show up here, thinking you can just talk to me and I'll go along with it. Can you please just leave?"

His eyes scrutinized my face again, "Why are you so eager to get rid of me?"

"That is none of your business. My life is no longer your business."

He stepped forward, "I'm about to make it my business."

"I think you better leave now, Jake. And do not come back."

"What if I don't want to leave?"

I snorted, "Are you fucking high? Fuck. Off."

I tried to shut the door in his face, adrenaline running through me. He grabbed my hand and squeezed. My heartbeat increased and I could feel a film of sweat on my skin. All my kickboxing training, and the moment he touches me, I'm paralyzed. A dear caught in headlights and I'm _that_ Bella again.

That Bella without any backbone, who let him run circles around me and over me.

I tried to regain my wits with two hundred forty pounds of second string QB trying to force his way inside my house.

Edward was behind me then, and my mind slowed as action sped around me. Edward dislodged Jacob's grip on my hand and shoved me behind him. Then he had Jacob by the throat and squeezed lightly. Jacob's eyes bulged at the naked aggression radiating from Edward.

"It would appear Ms Swan has asked you to fuck off from her presence, Mr Black. I find it unacceptable that you choose to not only try to force your way in, but also that you think using force and disparaging remarks to any female is appropriate. I am holding you by your neck and if I move my thumb here," Edward indicated by moving his thumb, "It cuts off your air supply. And if I moved my fingers just so," again, he demonstrated, "It cuts off the supply of oxygen filled blood to your head. Shall we find out what else I can do with my fingers, Mr Black?"

* * *

**A/N**

**I wanna see what he can do with his fingers. Yes I do.**

**General Housekeeping:**

**1-Lambcullen and I are hosting a contest along with some other gorgeous ladeez. (The Black Balloon Contest) We want your angst. Gimme. Bet you can't make me cry!**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2247006/Black_Balloon_Contest**

**2-With all the fuckery of late, if Incubus should get dumped, he is posted and up to date here:**

**http://twcslibrary(dot)com/viewstory(dot)php?sid=808&ageconsent=ok&warning=3**

**Nb: we are in the queue at twilighted and are awaiting approval. You can find him at the writer's coffee shop if the ship goes down. I will be moving other fics there over the weekend.**

**3-Just wanna say thanks again to all the support for this story.**

**4-Lambie and I conducted an interview of each other over at southern fanfic reviews...you should totes check it out!**

**5- I am on the twittah elusivekoolaid...come get some!**

**Lastly, funfetti and fireworks…Happy 1 year Anniversary to JAG and all the gals over at RAoR. Made of win…swearsit.**


	11. Chapter 10: Hungry Beast

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all the twilight stuff. Perhaps some ppl like it squeaky clean and parted to the side. I prefer it dirty and freshly fucked. J/S**

**Special thanks to lambcullen, who is the jam in my jam tart. She makes me mind my commas, and cracks the whip. Generally speaking of course. o.O**

**Also lovely special thanks to synshne for pre reading when she's been so under the weather. Feel better soon, doll.**

**BIG MASSIVE BEWB FLASHES TO READERS & NEW READERS. You guys and gals keep me going, and I don't just get the girls out for anybody. Truth. **

**Song List:  
****Loaded Gun: Hednoize  
****Strict Machine: Goldfrapp  
****Ballad for Dead Friends: Dashboard Prophets  
****Knife: Grizzly**

* * *

"_He looked like a hungry beast. You're so beautiful, he said. You're elegant and deep and innocent and wild." - Because He Liked to Look At It, From the Vagina Monologues , Eve Ensler_

EPOV

It had been a long time since a mind engrossed me so.

But Jacob Black's mind certainly did. It was apparent from the immediate picture of naked Bella in his mind that he had been intimate with her at one point or another. Fury, deep and dark, rolled and coiled through me at the thought of anything knowing Bella more intimately than I had.

Like a deck of cards quickly sprayed from his hands and scattered over the floor, pictures of her, scattered through his mind. He was comparing the present Bella in front of him to her past self.

Fascinated, I saw Bella, her face pale and drawn, her eyes defeated and in total supplication to every word he uttered to her. She had worshipped him, ready to do anything, her eyes adoring. He knew it, which is why he kept her. As if she were a possession to own, not to share.

Her hair was lank, and seemed plain but the very essence of her beauty wasn't defeated, not even in that state. Her body was wrapped in baggy jeans and t-shirts as his mind flipped through those older pictures.

There were other images as well, her naked and underneath him, her face turned away from him. The sound of her crying as he faced the wall in their bedroom. He hated her, hated how she owned a small piece of him that he could never take back. She represented childhood fantasies of someone who would look after and take care of him, his own mother not present.

Then there was the brief flash of a vase breaking, blood on the floor, and a door slamming. The memory was fragmented, as if it had been pushed down, emotion warping the images. He quickly tucked it away again, ending the pictures abruptly.

I could smell him from where I stood, the scent disgusted me. I watched her face through his eyes during the exchange at the door. His thoughts were darkly violent towards her, as if he wanted to wrench her to him and shake her until her teeth rattled, until she cried out, until her neck snapped.

I stalked forward, rage now in the clear forefront rather than the curiosity to explore his thoughts and reactions to her. The moment he touched her, the sound of her heartbeat accelerating, the tinge of her fear disturbing the air was a match to tinder on the growing pile of dislike I had towards Jacob Black.

When he touched her, I moved without thinking, not at human speed, but quicker than he could blink. I squeezed his wrist bones until I could feel them ready to splinter. His mind registered pain and surprise as his fingers released her. My hand was at his throat, and I smiled darkly at him, as his heart kicked in his chest.

_Yes_, I hissed at him under my breath, answering the unspoken question his instincts posed.

_Yes, I am a predator much higher on the food chain._

His thoughts scrambled, as I squeezed his throat and lifted him slightly.

"It would appear Ms Swan has asked you to fuck off from her presence, Mr Black. I find it unacceptable that you choose to not only try to force your way in, but also that you think using force and disparaging remarks to any female is appropriate. I am holding you by your neck and if I move my thumb here," I moved my thumb over his throat, "It cuts off your air supply. And if I moved my fingers just so," I caressed over his artery, "It cuts off the supply of oxygen filled blood to your head. Shall we find out what else I can do with my fingers, Mr Black?"

He was stunned, his arms moved to try and defend himself, but his human strength was inferior, and it only made me sneer deeper at him.

_What the fuck. Dude is fucking crazy. _

"You have three minutes until you pass out. Seven until you are dead. I suggest you use your two minutes, thirty-seven seconds in order to confirm that you want to be as far from me as possible. Acceptable terms?"

He made a choking sound and I tightened my fingers slightly. Bella's heartbeat resounded in my ears, the sound alone kept me from killing him in front of her. He complied finally, by nodding his head at the moment his mind admitted defeat.

_This isn't over. _

His thoughts echoed across the short space. I narrowed my eyes at him, as I slowly released his throat and let him go. Obviously, Mr Black was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Do not come back. Do not call. Do note write. I _will_ know. Trust me."

His hand was at his throat now, rubbing at the marks, smoothing over the skin that was slowly turning darker from broken vessels beneath.

He backed away then walked steadily, his back ramrod straight as he made his way towards a bright yellow Hummer at the end of the street. He got in, and I could see his eyes in the rearview mirror through the tint. They were steady and his simple mind plotted simpler visions of my death.

I scoffed internally. _You are incredibly tardy for that event, Black. _

I closed Bella's front door behind me and quickly located her in the living room. Her dark hair was tousled and around her delicate shoulders. She attempted to flick it back from her face as she sat down on the couch. Her bare feet seemed small as she nervously curled her toes into the carpet, the tiny nails perfect and lacquered black. She was shaking, trembling, the unlit cigarette between her lips bobbing wildly. She was wearing down the flint on her lighter as she struggled to ignite it. Her eyes connected with mine briefly, before she went back to her task.

She looked up briefly, as I walked into the room and stood up, still trying to light the cigarette, her brow furrowed over her task. She paused only for a moment while she looked at me.

"You should probably go." The cigarette somehow stayed in place while she talked around it.

I stood there, staring at her, when she looked up again, her eyes pleading and nearly sparkling with tears.

"Please."

I raised an eyebrow at her, but she didn't look up again. I turned to walk towards the door. I grasped the handle, had it in my fist and I took one deep breath in. Her scent wrapped around me like lover's arms, holding me.

I opened the door and walked out, closing it behind me.

I stood there, listening to her move throughout the house. She had walked upstairs, her breathing erratic. Her heartbeats quick and matching her gasps for air.

Sobs. She was sobbing.

I squared my jaw.

Caius' voice taunted me…_They are cattle. _

I squared my shoulders, listening to her as I walked away. The moon showed her lovely face above, her iridescence a clear silvery light. She seemed lonely, the visible stars surrounding her too far away for companionship. The air was thin and cold and the last of Bella's scent slipped out of my lungs.

I replayed the evening in my mind, the dance, the intense feeling of finally possessing her, inside and out. It had been exquisite, enjoying her and the glorious silence of her mind gave me back what had been lacking for so long.

And then that imbecile had shown up and dared to touch what was mine.

I stopped at that word.

Was she mine?

Marcus' vision crawled through my mind.

I closed my eyes, and the ghost of her scent sifted through the air.

I got as far as my front door and turned back.

I was through her door and followed her scent upstairs. The house was entirely dark, none of the lights on throughout, but this did not matter, my eyes able to see through the darkness.

Moonlight seeped into the room, creeping in through the windows, the light weak.

She was sitting on the edge of the bottom of the bed, sniffling, her hair hanging around her face. Her hands held her lighter, and the small glass crystal ashtray she was absently flicking the cigarette into. She had finally been able to light her cigarette, and the smoke curled around her head, a ghost of a halo.

I knelt in front of her, and she choked on her cigarette smoke when I stepped into her line of vision. She coughed and spluttered, her eyes squinting but not able to really look me in the eye.

"Jesus Christ, Edward," she croaked.

I tortured myself with a lungful of her and tobacco smoke. She flinched when I reached out to move her hair away from her face.

She still wouldn't look at me, I could tell she was purposely avoiding my eyes. I took the black Zippo and ashtray from her hands. I placed them on the floor, the lighter in the bowl of the ashtray. From her mouth, I tugged the cigarette and she blew smoke from her nostrils. I stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray, and then looked back up at her.

She was wringing her hands now, and then she started mumbling. I listened quietly to the steady stream of conscious thought pouring from her perfect lips.

"I guess you know his face from the paper. He's really good, given the opportunity." Pausing, she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "He-um-he thinks he owns me and I've tried to put him behind me. It was part of the settlement in the divorce that he wasn't allowed to make contact. I've never had to enforce that. His life usually keeps him busy and far away but he must be in town for whatever reason." She sniffled again, "I feel so stupid."

She shifted, her hips moving, as I placed both of my hands on either side of her.

She started stuttering, "I-I mean, you-you're just-" she gestured towards me, "and I'm well-"

Her chin was in my hand, and I angled her face towards mine, "Bella."

"I'm a…" she made an odd quote motion with her fingers and rolled her eyes, " 'divorcee' with loads of baggage, and an ex who is pretty obviously a permanent resident of Crazy Town, USA -"

"Bella."

"-Quite possibly the best sex of my whole fucking life, which means everything else will be-"

Whatever else she was going to say died on the sigh she released, as I placed my mouth on her hers. I kissed her deeply, and brushed my fingers along the warm skin of her cheek. She hesitated at first, her tongue tentatively meeting mine. The silence of enjoying her, her small reactions I delighted in. That feeling was back, to enjoy her just for the mere pleasure of it, the silence beautiful as her lips were soft and warm underneath mine. The touch and feel of her heightened without the use of my sixth sense.

It was usually about listening to those singular thoughts, knowing I had caused and effected greater heights of pleasure from my prey, before feeding from them. Her gloriously silent mind gave me back my own pleasure, enjoying myself as much as her; discovering her secrets piece by piece, rather than have the answers given to me instantly.

Her hands relaxed, and she pressed against me, her fingers moving up my chest to my neck. I wanted to know every part of her, I wanted to feel her from the inside, travel through her veins and rise darkly, deeply, her pulse beating only for me.

I drew back, the burn in my throat reminding me there was my own control to contend with, my deadly self straining against his bonds.

She opened her brown sugar eyes, the irises were almost fully swallowed by dilated pupils. They were full of questions, I didn't need to hear her mind to deduce her lips, I attempted a singular answer.

"I want you.""But-"I shook my head slightly, negating her contradictions."I. Want. You. Now."

Her face was almost the same level as mine, as I placed a hand on each of her bare knees. I parted her thighs, closing my eyes as the smell of her arousal hit me full force.

Her heart stuttered, then beat rapidly against her chest. Her breathing picked up and she licked her lips.

I kissed her harshly, and then said against her mouth, "I want to taste you."

She gasped and her eyes looked into mine, unsure.

"Let me, Bella. I promise, you won't regret it."

I shifted between her legs, lowering myself, until my chin grazed her thigh.

She was a font I wanted to drink, be drunk on, to wallow endlessly in. I ran my nose along her skin, smelling the blood running back and forth, carrying oxygen and carbon dioxide to and from her cells. Of their own volition, my teeth scraped lightly along her flesh and I wondered if she would allow me more than a taste.

The smell of her sex heightened, not over powering the more delectable scent of her, but soothed some of the burning hunger in my throat. I looked at her, the most very intimate center of her and she was beautiful.

I pushed her dress farther up her legs, the material rasping along her soft skin. I knew she was watching, her muscles tense and almost shaking with anticipation and apprehension.

This act, this scene, was obviously a new part for which she had never played for anyone, and it was my extreme pleasure to host the audition.

"Lie down, Bella."

She didn't relax, but stiffly laid back, supporting herself on her elbows.

My nose grazed against her slick lips, and I was intoxicated. My fingers parted her, stroking, searching, and her breath caught, as I found her still sensitive from our previous encounter. She throbbed and pulsed alive underneath my fingertips. I could resist this mortal place of hers no longer, and dipped my tongue towards her. I swirled around the delectably small piece of flesh, and she exhaled, only to draw in oxygen again. Her fingers were tense, grabbing for anchor in the white linen fluff of the duvet. They tightened when I flicked my tongue over her again.

She was exquisite; a fine and graceful nectar that I continued to lap at, listening to her every reaction, tasting her arousal, as she grew wetter under my ministrations. I learned her taste, her sounds, her movements.

I could tell she was close, her hips shuddered and she moved against me, searching for more. She was on her back now, no longer resting on her arms. Her breathing more and more labored, as I sucked on her honeyed flesh. My hands were on her and I held her to me, and I enjoyed every dark moment of her pending release. Her hands moved to my hair when I continued, and she pulled and pushed, as I relentlessly drove her higher.

How wonderful her silent mind, to enjoy this moment, this creature for what she was: a wildly elegant creation that I claimed as my own, as she came desperately, her chest heaving. I needed to taste more of her, and I tried to tamper down the demon which asked for her blood in trade.

I moved over her, my hands grabbing for pieces of her, needing to savage something. I ripped her black corset and dress open, her high shriek bouncing from the walls. Her bra was next and she stared at me, wide eyed, her clothes to the side, her beauty exposed to me.

She moved her hands to cover herself, her chest panting, her pink nipples erect. I placed a kiss on her skin where her womb was.

"Do not attempt to cover yourself from me, Bella."

She stayed her hands, and I continued my journey up her body. My knee pressed between her thighs as I moved over her flawless skin. My hands were on either side of her as slowly, I pressed my lips to her navel, her belly, each of her breasts. Her skin a beautiful texture, heat and softness, and her smell an aphrodisiac to my lethal senses.

My eyes met hers briefly and she was looking at me, her gaze full of trepidation as if she were waiting for criticism.

"You are glorious."

I went back to work, worshiping her. I picked up her arm, moving my lips over her wrist and over the now healed pink scar. I teased us both by grazing my teeth over the sensitive skin inside the bend of her arm, licking over the new skin. I gently moved up and along, over her shoulder before nipping over her collarbone.

I could feel her relaxing with each caress of my mouth, the tense lines leaving her face, as once again, she surrendered herself to me, trusting me.

I allowed a quick skim over her heart, the heated thud nearly my undoing.

I moved to her breast, the soft pillow of her massaged in my palm before my mouth sucked greedily at her nipple. My tongue swirled and moved the peak pouting for more attention.

My hand cupped and molded her other breast before I laved attention on it with my mouth as well. My hands ran up her sides as she arched her back, her soft moans filling in still air around us. Her fingers were in my hair again, combing then tugging sharply.

I moved back over her heart while my fingers crept below her waist, touching her intimately, where she was wet and ready again.

Her chest rose and fell with each quick breath she took. I kissed her chin and then brushed over her lips, her shallow breath touching my lips. We looked into each other's eyes and I wanted to be Adam in her garden, and eat the fruit she offered.

She was a glorious angel before me and I stood fully clothed. How gauche to not return the favor and allow her to see me for what I was.

I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, my fingers working quickly down. I pulled the white linen from my pants. It fell open, revealing my chest and I tugged it all the way off. My hands went for the buttons on my pants, my eyes never leaving her curious eyes as she stared at me.

Where I had been man before, I was deadly in my immortal allure. I knew that everything about me was designed to make me the ultimate hunter, the prey enticed and attracted to what it saw to be true not what it understood.

Bella's eyes were no different, and they stared in wonder at the planes and valleys, the tone and dip of muscle that sculpted and formed the predator before her.

I unzipped my pants and stood up, allowing them to fall free. I wore no undergarment, and her eyes widened as my cock wavered in front of her, hard and wanting. I stroked over it, watching her eyes watch my hand. Her legs were still parted, the sight of her spread before me, like my fantasies had begged for, made me harder still.

Only this time I offered, I gave and I held her to me, both of us hissing when her hot skin met mine, which was slightly cooler, her hard nipples pressed against me. I knew she ached and wondered if it was anywhere near mine.

My lips were on hers, my head angled, and I kissed her deeply. Her lips were soft and pliant under mine, and I broke away, before I hurt her delicate skin with the fierce longing for her blood. I buried my face in her neck, smelling her skin, hearing her artery pound in my ear. My nose detected the ink under her skin from a tiny tattoo she had behind her ear. It was the silhouette of a black raven, mid-flight, his wings graceful feathery.

I kissed the column of her neck as she moved closer, and her legs wrapping around my back. My cock pressed against her and she moaned, rocking her hips, pleading for me. I paused, the road forked, as her neck pulsed in front of my razor sharp teeth.

I made my choice and thrust inside her, filling her and snarled in her ear as she gasped and sighed into mine. I licked her neck, fighting for control. I moved in her, my hips grinding as her legs wrapped around my hips, her fingernails on my back.

I burned for her, the feeling of being inside her a needle in my deadened vein. I wanted to inject myself into her warmth, feeling her from the inside, her life pulsing around my death.

And in that moment, inside her, the pulsing warmth fit me like a glove, I felt almost…human. A man who wanted a woman for the sole pleasure that their bodies gave them.

She kissed me, her want as strong as mine, almost. Her hands were in my hair, and she tightened her legs around me, trying to pull me closer still.

I continued to move, losing a piece of myself every time I was deeper inside her. She was nothing and then everything in one blinding instant and her body peaked, her chest in bloom and flushed as she trembled beneath me. Her moans erupted into cries as she crested and broke in my arms.

I followed soon after, the intensity blowing me away. Nothing since the pulse of my own last human breath inside of me had been so liberating.

I collapsed and rolled with her onto our sides. Her chest heaved against mine with exertion. Her body was dewy and I couldn't stop touching her, stroking her. I nuzzled her temple. Her small hands caressed my chest and I straightened, putting my chin on top of her head.

She was a fire in my blood, in my throat. My body nearly shuddered with the need to drink, to fulfill the covenant that usually came with physical release.

The demon demanded satisfaction. His eyes glowed, his intentions clear in the darkness. The red digits of her bedside clock a point of light in the room, giving everything an almost red hue.

_She is yours. _

_Drink. _

_Drink. _

_Drink. _

The dull thud of her heart begged me. Her breathing slowed and I looked down. She was asleep. I knew sleep was elusive for her, and the small passages of it were important. I traced the dark circles under her eyes, and then the small scar on her perfect cheek.

_Mine._

_Drink. _

I slowly moved out of her embrace, and she whimpered when I no longer lay beside her. I went for my trousers and pulled out my knife from the pocket. The edge was bright and lethal and the disgust I had for myself, for what I was about to do, was outweighed and outnumbered by the demon's lusty thirst.

I parted her thighs, my knife in hand.

I knelt between them, my fingers tracing over the artery, alive and pulsing. My throat burned, venom pooled, and the dull thud of her resting heart ticked across my brain.

I laid the blade along her soft skin, the supple flesh ready to give.

I hesitated for a moment, and the beast snarled with impatience.

My deft fingers worked the blade and her flesh was open. A single drop of blood escaped, the cut barely deep enough. I leaned down and licked at it with my tongue.

Exhilarating euphoria washed over me. She was a drug, a cure, a gateway to heaven. I was thrown back from her, as the entire room seemed to glow. The beast was stunned into silence with me, hunger no longer the focus.

Exquisite and beautiful, she tasted like nothing I had ever had before. There was a greedy part of myself that wanted to guzzle, to glut on her.

There was the other part, though, that was steadily taking shape. After tonight it had a clear voice, ringing in my conscious, telling me what was in front of me was more than mine. It was more than my own possession.

It possessed me.

I sat there, blinking at her, trying to come to terms with what my mind was trying to tell me.

It was unfortunate that as I tried to define each thought, she stirred and sat up. In my stunned state, I forgot the knife in my hands.

She opened her eyes as she stretched, arching her back, her nipples puckering in front of me.

Her gaze settled on my face, a small smile playing about her lips. Then she took in all of me, illuminated by that clock, the red glare seeming to glint off of my weapon.

Her eyes widened, her heart paused and then took off.

"What the fuck, Edward?"

I said nothing, my eyes trained on a small trickle of blood on her thigh, the smell of it dancing through my nostrils.

She made a small strangled sound as her eyes followed to my focal point. Her breathing picked up now, her scent starting to get stronger as adrenaline released into her blood stream.

She looked back up at me, and there was fear in her eyes.

"Get out," she whispered.

Again, I did not move, as cold and still as a statue.

Her voice was hoarse, "Get the fuck out. Now. Or I'm calling the police."

We both knew it was a lie but I stood anyways, nude. Her eyes couldn't help but look and she involuntarily licked her lips.

I pulled on my trousers, sliding the small knife back in my pocket. I pulled my shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned. I knelt on the bed, and she tried to back away from me. I dragged my finger along her thigh, wiping up the small trickle of blood.

She watched, fascinated, as I popped the finger into my mouth and rolled my eyes in pleasure at the taste of her.

I took my finger, now wet with venom and rubbed it over the small wound. She sat, frozen in fear as I closed over the small incision.

I leaned over her, her naked flesh connecting with my chest and brushed my lips over hers.

"We are not finished, you and I. This," I kissed her roughly, "This is only just beginning."

With that promise, I was off of her, off of the bed. I quit the room, was down the stairs and out of the house. As I ran back over to my side of the street, again I noticed the moon.

She was still devoid of closer companions, but a misty cloud rolled over her, sealing off her lonely light.

* * *

**A/N**

**The devil makes work for idle hands…thirsty work. **

**Incubus Anomaly now has a twilighted thread:**

**http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=33&t=8858&st=0&sk=t&sd=a**

**we haz blinkehz. **


	12. Chapter 11: Night of the Iguana

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and enjoys the fluff. Some of us prefer it rough. Just sayin.**

**Thanks a lot for all the readers, reviewers, rec'ers, DM'ers, tweeters, and all you MF'ers for making life all around enjoyable.**

**I owe lambcullen time in the love dungeon for submitting this to her and making her eyes bleed with the first version of this chapter. Good thing she's forgiving with that riding crop.**

**To snshyne for pre-reading and hand holding. She's made it to the next round of the IndieTwiFics. Go and read Fate and Forgotten secrets, review the hell out of it, and vote like your life depended on it.**

**Music this chapter:**  
**Thirty-Three: Smashing Pumpkins**  
**Transylvanian Concubine: Rasputina**  
**Last Dance With Mary Jane: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers**  
**I'm Afraid of Americans: David Bowie & Trent Reznor**

* * *

'_Honey girl, don't you know that nothing worse could happen to a girl in your, your-unstable condition-than get emotionally mixed up with a man in my unstable condition, huh? Two unstable conditions can set a whole world on fire, can blow it up, past repair.' Act 1, Scene 2 of _The Night of the Iguana_, by Tennessee Williams._

BPOV

I pulled the black jacket tighter around my body, and crossed my arms in front of me. The cellophane around the bouquet of white roses crinkled as I held them to me. The wind pulled my hair across my face, and I awkwardly tried to brush it back without uncrossing my arms.

I had made the long four hour drive here, leaving in the very small hours of the morning. My mind had been working overtime and I needed the drive and time away from the city to sift through everything.

It was bleary but dry, the grass around me winter yellow. I passed through the rows of silent stones, some of them older, some of them younger. Words jumped out at me like _Loving Father, Best Friend, _and _Loving Memory_.

I was familiar with some of the stones on my way through the graveyard, the granite markers like landmarks. There was one that fascinated me in a grim way. The gravestone of a child, the dates giving me chills every time I saw it. For all the lifetimes that were spanned between dates and years, this stone, in the shape of a teddy bear with her name etched on it, had barely three years between the dates. I always stopped and looked at the flowers and toys left for Tanya Denali.

Sighing, I continued on until I reached the row I had visited hundreds of times throughout my teen years.

_Renee Ann Montgomery-Swan_

_God needed an angel, _

_and called her home._

_1964-1995_

I cleared away weeds and grass from the stone and took out a tissue from my pocket to clear off the small amount of residue on the polished black marble.

I unwrapped the roses, the plastic seemed loud in the still air around me.

I laid them beside the stone, the white petals delicate against the harsh and wasted grass around the gravesite.

"Hi, Mom. Sorry I didn't come by at Halloween this year. I know that's our thing."

I swallowed, not really sure where to begin.

"We finished Inferno. It was a success, if the numbers are to be believed."

The stone met me with silence, as if it knew I was stalling.

I sat on the grass, not caring if it was damp. I sniffed, and brushed my hair back again. I could feel my hands shaking as I pulled out my cigarettes and lit one.

The stone looked back at me, and I could almost hear it judging me.

"Hey. If you wanna come up and yank it out of my mouth, you go right on ahead." I glared at my mother's gravestone for a second.

Silence.

"That's what I thought."

I blew smoke across and decided I had stalled long enough.

"Ok. I'll just come out with it, Ma. I've met someone. Yeah, a guy. And he's really hot and sexy and there is something totally mysterious about him."

I dragged on the cigarette, and then flicked it at the ground beside me, ash falling into the grass.

"Oh yeah, 6'1, bronze hair, dark eyes. Built like a runner, and oh-my-God there is something about him. They way he touches me, it's just-I dunno. There's something in my mind that just wants to never ever be away from him. It's exciting, but it scares me at the same time.

"It was never like this with Jake. And oh!" I paused, dragging on the cigarette, "Jake totally stopped by the other night and he, well Edward, was there and totally had Jake by the throat."

I looked at the stone, "I know, right? What the fuck?"

"I wish I could have had him by the throat. Or at least kneed him in the balls."

I flicked the cigarette again.

"So yeah. Edward. And um. The sex is amazing. Granted, I don't have a lot to compare to, but he makes me feel things I've never felt before, makes my body do things it's never done," I exhaled smoke once again, "And his hands. His hands and his mouth do things to me that should be fucking illegal."

I blew smoke into the air above me, as the gravestone watched, waiting.

I swallowed and cleared my throat.

"Yeah. There is a catch. Isn't there always? Nothing that good ever comes easily," I snorted.

While the graveyard was silent, I could see my mother's pursed lips and her exaggerated sigh, as if she wanted me to get to the point.

"There's something off about him. Something I can't quite put my finger on. The way he moves, the way he talks. He's really pale, and I mean paler than the rest of us here in Washington. We aren't exactly the Sunshine State, I know."

I inhaled, dragging smoke into my lungs, the burn soothing.

I cleared my throat then and blew out harshly.

"And the other night. After we had sex and I had fallen asleep," more smoke from my nostrils, "I woke up and he had a knife, and I could have sworn he'd cut me somewhere, there was blood. But there's not a mark on me."

I chanced a look at the stone.

Silence.

I sighed, stubbing the cigarette out on the bottom of my boot.

"I don't know what to think. I'm tired of thinking. I don't want to just hop into bed with him, because he's amazingly good at-well-he's just good at things."

I could feel myself blushing. I was usually really honest with my mom, but for some reason, I couldn't describe the things Edward had done to me.

And it was bothering me. I knew it was there, glaring me in the face. I should know this, like an easy math problem.

1 + 1 = ?

My brain drew a blank.

I talked about other things instead. I told her I still hadn't talked to Charlie. I was still staunch that it should be him contacting me, after the way he treated me. I knew she would want me to talk to him, that spending another holiday season alone was not what she would want for her only child.

Charlie had made his choice, and that was that.

I babbled on about the theater but after awhile I grew silent. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around the denim, placing my chin on top. Although it was cold and the clouds rolled over the sky as the wind pushed them by, it was oddly comfortable. I enjoyed the silence and the peace I always found sitting with my mother.

The wind blew harsher, and tiny drizzly rain fell on my face. The sun shifted listlessly behind the clouds and I fished my phone out of my pocket, checking the time.

10:21 AM.

"Well, mom. I better get back." I stood up and brushed my legs off. It was this part I always hated about my visits. Saying goodbye to her. Again.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I brushed my hand over the cool stone and pressed my lips to it.

A memory stirred but I couldn't quite place it.

"See you later, Mom. Love you."

I stuck my hands in my pocket as I walked away. The Mustang was parked just outside the iron gates, its shiny black hood dull in the mid morning gray.

I traced over the cold blue flames that ghosted from the tire well. Tiny raindrops smoothed under my fingertips as I ran them over the wispy blue lines.

I sighed and unlocked the door. The smell of the leather interior was comforting, and I quickly turned on the engine, listening to the rumble. I pulled away from the graveyard, the silent obelisks and angels frowning at me as I drove away.

***

BPOV

I had been in the theater for a few hours now, arriving back just after lunch time. I should have given myself more time after visiting Mom, but if I sat around in the house, or anywhere else, I was going to go fucking insane.

We were moving things on and off stage, placing them in the blocking tape that had been laid the night before. I was in a horrible mood, and knew I was snapping at people. I had just bit the head off of one of my techs for not moving fucking fast enough. Right as I was about to eat it and apologize, I heard a voice that instantly raised my hackles.

"Swan?"

_James. Just what I fucking needed._

"Did you forget there was a meeting this evening?" His voice was like nails on a chalkboard, and I wanted to scream at him. He was using that condescending tone he used when he thought he'd caught me out.

_Why did he have to be such a bastard?_

"No, James, but I've had my hands full this afternoon while you've been holding private meetings in your office all day. Did you and Victoria iron out all the house concerns?"

I implied exactly what it sounded like, we all knew _exactly_ what was being discussed all afternoon and it wasn't the fucking budget.

I'd overstepped my mark. I knew it. He knew it. The dozen stagehands behind me knew it. The team in the lighting booth knew it.

But I didn't give a mother fuck.

His face turned red and it matched the billowing early nineties silk shirt he was wearing. His greasy hair was pulled back from his mottled face today and at least he wasn't wrinkled. He must have hung his clothes up before he and Victoria got to work.

"If you care to join us, Ms. Swan, we will start shortly." His tone was cool and overly polite.

He disappeared towards the front of the house, and I followed him soon after. I moved down the corridor and again had that eerie feeling I was being watched. I shuddered and shook my head.

Arriving at the wooden office door, I knocked, and then entered. Once inside, I took the closest empty seat, next to Mike. I sighed, as James began the meeting, but brightened when Mike pushed a coffee cup and a donut towards me.

The meeting room was old, and the red brick walls were dusty. I tried to ignore the musty smell of the aged carpet. As always, there was coffee and donuts on the far table against the wall.

Mike had chosen a sprinkled donut for me, and I absently picked it up, trying to take in the agenda that Mike had put next to my arm. I sipped absently at the triple shot coffee he had brought in for me, and sighed dreamily at the bitter taste.

James was busy pontificating his usual bullshit. Yorkie met my eyes across the table and rolled them skyward. I smirked back at him. His brows furrowed together and he mouthed.

_Are you ok?_

I nodded, _Why?_

He motioned to the donut in my hands. I looked down and without realizing it, I had picked off all of the sprinkles and had started to scrape the white icing off with my black fingernails.

I put the donut down and shrugged at him. _I'm cool. _

_You wanna…_He made a motion with his hand like he was drinking from a glass. I hadn't been out for a drink in a while, I'd been keeping most of my drinking habits confined to the house.

_Yeah ok_, I shrugged. At least Yorkie's incessant gamer chatter would keep my head from my asshole.

James' voice grew louder, "Which means I'm going to need the lighting crew to stay on tonight while we go back through the cues. It seems the director wasn't sure of the blue gels that were selected during certain scenes."

Yorkie's face screwed up, "Aw, what the fuck, James?"

"Sorry, Yorkie."

Yorkie's eyes met mine in apology and I nodded at him and mouthed, _It's ok. _

James sighed, "Ok, people. Meeting adjourned. Swan, can you hang back?"

I froze from where I stood behind my chair.

Wonderful. Here comes my comeuppance, served with a side of greasy asshole.

Angela was the last to leave, and she threw me a sympathetic glance over her shoulder.

James shut the door behind her, and turned around.

His eyes were livid.

"You are never to talk that way to me, ever again."

The way I was feeling and with all the shit in my head, I reacted.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?"

James' face went a lovely shade of puce, "I'm talking to you, you fucking bitch."

I blinked at him, "Whoa. Vicky not cuddling your balls the way you like, Jamesy?" My tone was acidic.

He grabbed my arms and shook me, "God I fucking can't stand you. I would fire your ass if I could, so fast it would make your head spin."

I snickered at him, "Oh, please, James. Please fire me. I would bring the union down on you so fast, it would make your head spin. Now take your girly hands off of me so I can finish set work on my stage."

He pulled me towards him, his breath putrid and smelling of rotten vegetables. I struggled against him, but he managed to put his lips on mine. I was nauseated, and my body and mind wanted another set of lips instantly, another set of hands, the unique smell that was male and something else that was oddly alluring.

James was none of this. His hold slackened on my arms, and I took the opportunity to slam my fist into his diaphragm. He gasped and stepped back from me.

Through my teeth, I snarled at him, "I told you never to fucking touch me again."

And without thinking, I brought the heel of my hand up to his nose. Blood instantly began to gush from it.

His hands covered his face and his voice was strangely nasal, "You bitch! You broke my fucking nose."

"Go fuck yourself, James. Hope you enjoy those shiners tomorrow morning, you piece of shit. Stay the fuck away from me. And this will be the last time we are alone behind closed doors."

My heart was thudding in my ears and adrenaline was flash flooding through my veins.

I felt like I was ready to explode, to take off. On shaky legs, I walked back down the corridors towards the locker room. I grabbed my purse and jacket, slamming the tiny metal door shut. I shoved my arms into the leather and lifted my hair out.

Catching my eye in the mirror, I attempted to calm down.

I hated this. Hated feeling this way, hated confrontation.

But at the same time, I was proud of myself for standing up to him. I'd come a long way from meek and mild Bella. Bella who took enough of Jake's crap for how many years.

I walked through to the backstage area and slipped outside the door, stepping onto the sidewalk. I lit a cigarette and the combination of the nicotine and the adrenaline made me light headed.

The door opened, Marcus rushed outside as if he had seen a ghost.

I exhaled smoke in the opposite direction and then turned to him, "You escaping, too?"

He nodded, "Something like that."

"I'm going for a drink, if you want to come with?"

He shook his head, "No thank you. I'm going to make my way home. See you tomorrow evening."

I pulled on the cigarette, "Alright, Marcus. See you tomorrow."

It was dark, there was no moon tonight, just city lights slicing through the evening air. Cars and taxis buzzed by down the street. I finished my ciggie, and flicked it away. I put my hands in my pockets and started walking away. I wandered for a bit, not really seeing anything or without any clear direction.

I found myself on a familiar path, and without giving it further thought, I was outside of a bar I knew very well.

I smoked another cigarette before pushing inside the door.

I sat down on the bar stool, the electric lights advertising Budweiser and Corona glaring and bright behind the bar. It was Riley on tonight, and he sidled up to me, polishing a glass with a towel.

His eyes studied my face, "Fuck's sake, Bella. Who ran over your cat?" He flung the towel over his shoulder as he braced himself against the bar.

I attempted a smile, but it looked more like a grimace, "Hi to you too, Ri. Jack, straight, and do you mind leaving the bottle?"

"Christ, Bella. At least let me join you," he said as he brought out two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Just make sure I get poured into a taxi at closing time. And bring some pretzels or whatever-the-fuck."

He tsked at me as he poured the first shot.

"Do you wanna talk about it," he asked, as we clinked the shot glasses together. The bourbon burned down my throat as I swallowed it down.

_Drunker, I want to be drunker._

"Not yet. Give me a few and we'll see."

He looked around the bar, "Are you here by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Bella, I can't babysit you all night."

"Fuck you very much, Ri. I'm not a child. I can take care of myself."

"Uh huh. I've heard that before."

He shot me another look while I poured another shot. I watched him serve customer's at the bar, it was busy tonight, there was football on the screen. I toasted the men in their tight pants, cringing when I saw a quarterback substituted in during the last quarter. On the back of his jersey, in big block letters, was his last name.

BLACK

_Fuck you, Jake. _

I sighed and threw back another shot. I motioned to Ri I was going outside to smoke a cigarette, and to keep an eye on my Jack. He put it behind the bar as I stumbled outside.

I lit up, and allowed my mind to wander through the images of the previous night.

Even now, even the smallest thought of him, his hands, his mouth made my vajayjay ask why we weren't at home getting our brains fucked out.

_Because we're out at a bar getting shitfaced. _

And my brain piped up, throwing in the image of Edward and his knife between my thighs.

_Oh yeah._

Christ, I'm talking to my own vagina. Maybe I should switch to tequila. Either I was too sober, or drunker than I thought.

Either way, I circled last night's events, especially the end of the night.

I remember waking, and my body had felt like a rubber band, stretchy and limp. He had made me forget all the shit with Jake, even the shit that my mind wouldn't let me forget when I was alone. I could have gone a second or third round. That's when I saw him. It was his head only as he was kneeling on the floor. His eyes had seemed off, like he had been stunned.

There was a knife in his hands, and I could have sworn there was a cut on my leg.

It freaked me the fuck out.

But for some reason, I felt safe with him, and my rational mind called me a fucking fool. It told me I might as well go and beg Jake to take me back. Why was I attracted to guys like this?

Bella Swan: Professional Loser Magnet.

I don't think Edward meant me any harm. If he had meant to kill me or torture me, surely he would have done it.

Every time I was with him, I was drawn to him, like I wanted to be on him, in him, beside him. I wanted him to hold me, to fuck me, to take away all the horrible things that my mind constantly replayed.

And yet, I felt like I was missing something. Something big that my brain just didn't see, like it was right in front of me, fucking obvious.

I finished my cigarette, and stubbed it into the side of the building. I shoved the butt into the sand pot Ri kept outside for us, and sauntered back inside.

I was working through shot number six and a handful of these fucking awesome peanuts, when I noticed this guy walking steadily towards me, his eyes piercing and intent.

They were the first thing I noticed about him, those honey colored eyes. They were the oddest gold, it almost seemed unnatural. Then there was the face that came with the eyes. It was classically handsome, his features narrow and angular. His eyes were wide in his handsome face and his blond hair was wavy and long enough for him to tuck behind his ears.

He moved with a grace that was sleek and masculine but there was a laziness to his stride as well. He wore jeans, and I could see the hint of a belt buckle winking at me. A black button up shirt hugged his flat belly and he'd left a few buttons unbuttoned at his neck. I blushed when he caught me staring.

He smiled at me slightly, and there was a small dimple in his cheek.

"This seat, taken, Miss?"

His voice had a slight drawl to it, which put him well out of state. I tried to place it, not southern enough for deep south, but not country enough for the Midwest.

I cleared my throat, "Nope. Free country."

He sat next to me, his arms leaning on the bar. His eyes met mine briefly, and rather than feel awkward or self conscious, I was totally at ease with his presence beside me.

I didn't know if it was him, or the Jack Daniels but I shoved over the extra shot glass Ri had left.

"Hi."

His eyes analyzed me for a second before he smiled at me, "Hi."

"Wanna help me finish the bottle?"

My mother must be turning in her grave. Soliciting strangers while I was halfway to blackout.

"Sure thing, darlin." He slapped a ten spot on the counter and I shook my head.

"Holster your money, Cowboy. It's my bottle and I'm sharing."

"As you wish."

I poured him a shot and we clinked our glasses together. Downing the shot, I placed the glass back on the bar, ""So. You're obviously not a native."

He smiled at me again, and I melted a little, the dimple had a twin in his other cheek, "I sure ain't. Hail from Texas. Are you from Washington state, then?" His voice was pure honey, sweet and slowly drawn out, the rhythms almost lulling.

I nodded, "Small town girl and all that. You got a name, Cowboy?"

"Jasper. And what about yourself, sugar?"

"You can call me Bella." I stuck my hand out and he took it in one of his hands. Something flashed in his eyes the moment he touched me, but it was gone before I could identify it.

"A pleasure, Bella."

We continued to talk, he seemed overly curious about me, and my brain kept trying to warn me not to get too close. I talked on and on though, feeling strangely at ease with him. I wondered at what point he was going to get up and join whatever group of guys he had wandered in with. I was clearly babbling on and on, sharing my life story. I tried to leave some awkward pauses in there, but they seemed filled with his easy silence.

The music from the jukebox stuttered to a stop. Conversation in the bar was loud, but the atmosphere seemed thinner without the music weaving around the voices. I stood up, weaving slightly.

"Where you goin, darlin?" His eyes held mine, and it seemed like the conversations around us faded, a mute button on the whole bar. It was just him and me, and I closed my eyes as the room tipped slightly. I grabbed the bar for support.

"It's too quiet."

His hands were at my sides, his voice in my ear, "Can I take you home?" I shivered, there was a slight edge to his voice that I hadn't noticed before.

I was drunk; very drunk at this point, and my pickled brain scrambled to make a decision, to answer correctly.

"Um. No. I've got some friends who are going to be here soon."

He laughed softly, "You're a terrible liar, sugar."

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed lightly, "I think you've had enough, Jasper. I'm sorry if I gave you mixed signals." My voice sounded slurred to my ears and my heart thudded loudly.

_What the fuck was with the male of the species lately? _

"Hey Pal," Riley interrupted our exchange. I sighed in relief. Thank fuck for Ri.

"I think the lady is trying to say no. Maybe you better go."

Jasper backed off immediately. He gazed at me, his eyes studying me, and then there was space between us. His shoulder grazed mine as he walked towards the door.

"You ok, Bells?" Ri's eyes met mine over the bar, full of concern.

I nodded and mounted my stool again. Riley looked at me dubiously, and I attempted a wink at him.

"Thumbs up, motherfucker." I poured a shot, and threw it down while Riley watched me. He snatched the bottle while I was distracted, and set it behind the bar.

It hit me then, the way that one drink inevitably does, when I throw them back. The one that is totally rejected by my body, and my brain makes one last fucking grasp at a good, sober decision.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Uh huh. I'm phoning you a taxi, Bells."

"Dude, I'm totally fine."

I stumbled from my stool and tried to make my way to the door.

"Bella, wait. Let me phone you a taxi-"

I was through the door and outside, the cold air made everything sharpen and contrast. It was too much at once, and it made me lightheaded.

I walked as steadily as I could down the street, thinking I was doing a good job. There was no way I was going home. No fucking way. I was going back to the theater. I checked my phone in my bag. It was only just after one. I had keys to open and lock up the back stage door. There was an old couch in the prop room that I had used in the past between late shifts. I wasn't picky, since I wasn't much of a fucking sleeper anyways.

I pulled a cigarette out of my purse, and nearly set my nose on fire lighting it. I shivered as I exhaled smoke, and realized I'd left my jacket in the bar. Well fuck.

I stumbled when I was nearly outside of the theater. Some stranger caught me, his hands around my waist. It was Jasper, his golden eyes looking into mine.

"No wonder Edward is so fascinated by you. You do smell absolutely mouthwatering."

My mind was a jumble, as I tried to comprehend what the fuck he just said to me. My brain was on overload and I was crashing quickly.

He pressed his face to my neck, and I could feel him breathing against my skin. Bile rose in my throat. I tried to knee him in the balls. My leg raised up, my knee connecting. It was like trying to knee a brick wall. Pain shot from my knee, and radiated along my leg. I cried out, and he laughed darkly in my ear.

Something was not right here. Although my senses were dulled, I was rational enough to know that something was slightly off. I had put enough force behind my leg that he should be on the ground grabbing his balls.

Jasper continued to speak lowly in my ear, his voice dark and slow as molasses, "He makes me so sick. We used to be brothers, you know. He used to be family. He broke my girl's heart when he walked out on all of us. He'll do the same to you, little girl. Stay away from him." He said all of this as he continued to caress my neck with his nose, then his lips.

I shuddered.

He finally released me and I tried to take off running, but fell just outside the door. At first I thought I had only landed on my hands and knees, my purse spilling all over the sidewalk. I tried to shove the contents back in as quickly as I could, my hands shaking. My hair got in my face, and when I tried to move it out of the way, something warm and sticky touched my face. I realized it was my own blood, my hand covered it in. I must have cut it on a piece of glass when I fell.

Bourbon and adrenaline coursed through me, the smell of the blood making me feel ill. Strong hands lifted me.

Jasper's face was dark, pinched, as if he was fighting control. His jaw was locked, his eyes were wild, and frightening. His hand closed over my wrist, as if he were taking my pulse, and his lips parted as he brought my injured hand closer to his face. He licked his lips and his throat bobbed as he swallowed, still fighting for control.

"I suppose, one little taste won't kill me," his voice purred, as he lifted my hand to his mouth and licked my wound.

I recoiled, and my stomach rose to my throat in revulsion. I was too horrified to scream.

"Oh, sweet mother. It's been so long…" He licked me again, and my stomach roiled.

There was a low hiss from down the street, Jasper tensed, his head turning towards the sound. I blinked, and felt myself torn from Jasper's grasp. By the time I opened my eyes, Edward was in front of me, his posture protective, as he pressed me against the wall with his back. Although I could see his face, Jasper was nearly twenty feet away, picking himself off of the ground.

Edward made a feral snarling sound, and Jasper looked as if he was going to challenge him. I cringed, trying to think if I could slip into the theater unnoticed.

But Jasper relaxed, and his face broke into a horrible smile, so unlike the gentle smile from the bar.

"Until next time, brother." And he turned away, walking around a corner, disappearing into the inky night.

* * *

**A/N**

**Indeed.**


	13. Chapter 12: Who Am I?

**A/N**

**Steph Meyer owns all the Twilight stuff and plays a clean game. I prefer to play very, very dirty.**

**Just a quick note to say thanks again for all the people who read, rec, review, alert, favorite, post on the thread, and tweet with me. You got it goin on, like Stacy's mom.**

**Sorry this took me so long to update. Wrote 3K words, wasn't working, and deleted the lot.**

**Speshul thanks to lambcullen. She makes my demon sing. She is the Garcia to my Morgan.**

**To snshyne, who is incredibly supportive. Catch you next time, bb.**

**Songs per usual:  
****Search & Destroy: 30 Seconds to Mars  
****Bad Company: Bad Company  
****Numb: Portishead  
****Enough Love: Mandalay  
****That Smell: Lynyrd Skynyrd**

* * *

'_Can I conceal myself for evermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before?'  
_From _Who Am I?, _Act 1, _Les Miserables (the musical), _lyrics written by Alain Boublil, adapted to English by Herbert Kretzmer.

EPOV

My tolerance for my brother was very thin at the best of times. It was unfortunate that the best of times were long behind us.

I stared at him, as he picked himself up from where I had flung him away from Bella. The smell of her blood was enticing, and I struggled not to breath in. Jasper huffed, his eyes feral as he looked at me.

_How fine it is to you see you, Edward. Mighty fine, indeed. Hope you don't kill this one too. She tastes so nice. _

I snarled at him, the urge to tear his arms from his body nearly overwhelming.

"Until next time, brother."

_I'm sure Alice already knows. We would love for you to pay us a visit._

With that parting shot, he rounded the corner, his thoughts quiet as he ran quickly, silently through the night.

I turned to face Bella. She was panting, her eyes wide, as she regarded me. Although I did not need oxygen, I fought the need to draw in air. I knew she was bleeding, knew the wound on her hand was open. It wasn't deep, but the capillaries near the surface flowed silently outwards.

I swallowed and inclined my head at her, locking my jaw for a moment, fighting the beast. I allowed one small breath of her. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, in her pores, but her blood overpowered it all.

A vein pulsed in her neck, teasing me, taunting me.

_Taste me. Taste me. Taste me. Taste me. _

I leaned closer and she froze, her breathing paused. I licked my lips, the tingle of venom upon them. My eyes were hooded as she flinched, pressing herself against the wall. I closed my eyes, and she dragged in a last futile breath.

The beast moaned, hungry.

My hands settled on her hips, pulling them toward me, pressing them against me. I was aroused, I needed her. The want was no longer deniable.

My lips touched the throbbing heat.

A stream of conscious thought interrupted me. It was close, too close.

_Fucking James. Those gels were fucking fine. If he thinks I'll pull an all-nighter like this again, he can go fuck himself with a rusty pole._

Footsteps thudded within the theater, coming closer and closer to the exit doors that I had Bella pressed against. The lock was unlatched, and before her heart completed the pump of blood through that vein, I was gone. I ran, and was far enough away from her that her scent was no longer an issue.

I easily found the simplest route to Alice's, deciding to pay her and Jasper a brotherly visit.

***

BPOV

_Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. _

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

My brain couldn't handle anymore this evening. I stood there, rooted to the spot, trying not to replay what the fuck just happened. I wanted to be home, alone, and hiding in the closet. I tried to catch my breath but fell backward as the door opened.

I shrieked.

"Bella? What the fuck?"

It was Yorkie. Thank fuck for Yorkie. I fell backwards, all flailing arms as I tried to recover my balance. He steadied me, and I leaned against the open doorway.

"You look like shit, boss lady." He eyed me, taking in my disheveled hair and scuffed jeans. I ran my hand through my hair, and winced when clammy sweat connected with the blood on my hand.

"Dude, did you fall?" He took my hand to examine it in the vague streetlight.

I took another quick breath and let it out, "Um, yeah. I fell."

He tsked, "C'mon inside. Might as well clean that up for you with the first aid kit."

I followed him inside, the comforting familiarity of the backstage darkness soothed my rattled mind. He took me towards the locker area, and pulled out the box. We sat down on the small wooden bench that was in the middle of the room.

He tore open a sterile wipe and took my hand. "This is gonna sting like hell. Ready?"

I nodded. He pressed the wipe over the cut on my hand, and I hissed in air through my teeth. The sting was awful, it burned, and I wanted to snatch my hand back from him.

"I know, Bells. Where did you go tonight?" He was trying to distract me while he cleaned the cut, poking and prodding at the wound.

"Ri's. It was me and a bottle of Jack. Too bad you weren't there," I said through my teeth.

He chuckled, "Yeah. Were you able to stay on your bar stool this time?"

I huffed at him, "Fuck you, Yorkie. I always stay on my barstool."

"There is photographic evidence that says otherwise, Swan." He smiled at me.

"Unless I can remember it, it didn't happen."

He sniffed at the air, "Do you smell that? I think it's bullshit."

I gave him a dirty look, but couldn't hold it.

"Right, Swan. I think I've cleaned it as best I can. Any other booboos you want me to kiss better for you?"

I shoved him with my good hand, "No."

He winked at me, "A guy can try. How are you getting home?"

If there was one place I didn't want to be, it was home. My face fell. "Um. I'm not sure."

"Do you want to come back to mine?"

I gave him another look.

He held up his hands, "No funny business, I promise. You can't drive in this state."

I pursed my lips, I was feeling kinda woozy now. I reached for my bag and pulled my phone out and quickly sent a text.

**Jess-can I come over? Borrow ur couch x**

Yorkie busied himself by putting the first aid kit away. The text came back after a few minutes.

**Yes. Buzz when u get here. Door will b opn. **

"You're in luck," He turned to look at me, "I've got a friend who is a couple of blocks from here."

He looked unsure, "At least let me drive you."

Normally, I wouldn't let him, I would have walked, or hailed a cab. But with Edward and Jasper still out there somewhere, the ride seemed like a good idea.

"Yeah ok. Lead the way." I stood up to follow him out. We exited the building, and I couldn't help shivering, looking over my shoulder. I didn't see anything out of the norm, but the shadows seemed darker.

Yorkie's old Gremlin was parked around the block. He must have moved it, so it sat in front of the theater. He'd had it painted white with red racing stripes down the side. The sight of it always made me laugh, the car was like it's owner: slightly nerdy but somehow cool.

He opened the door for me, and I quickly got inside. He got in on the other side, turning the ignition. The car hummed to life and he shifted into gear. I gave him directions to Jess', and he dropped me at the door.

I was buzzed in quickly, and used the elevator up to Jess and Tyler's apartment. The door was open like she said, and there were blankets laid out on the couch. I sat down and found the ashtray she'd left out for me. Digging out my lighter and cigarettes, I lit and puffed. Usually I spent the time I should be sleeping thinking, but my mind was still whirling too fast, and I still felt spacey.

I stubbed the cigarette butt out half finished, and sat back into the sofa. I pulled one of the blankets around me and prayed for the oblivion of sleep.

***

EPOV

Alice opened the door, her face cautious.

_Edward, I-_

"Save it. Where is he?"

I saw him step into the hallway, his golden eyes eager. I felt a wave of calm wash over me and I tried to fight against it.

"If you wish to keep all of your appendages, you will cease. Immediately."

He smirked, _You should learn not to give orders to your elders, youngin._

We stared each other down, until Alice stepped between us.

"Play nice, boys."

A low growl moved through me, as Jasper was distracted by Alice, momentarily.

His eyes flashed back to me, and the volume of my anger nearly diminished, as I walked over the threshold. I sighed. Jasper was an empath; meaning he could respond to, or manipulate the feelings; and emotions of those around him. He was older than me, by almost a century. Alice was much younger, by comparison.

He was thinking about Bella, about what he said to her, and my eyes snapped to him. Without withdrawing my gaze, I spoke to Alice.

"You may tell your mate that his assistance with Bella is not required. If I even so much as catch him on the breeze, I will find him and tear him apart."

Jasper smiled again, taunting, "You can try, but we both know it's not gonna happen. I'll keep my distance, if that's what you prefer. Although, her smell is very intoxicating."

"Jasper!" Alice hissed.

I was across the room and had him by the throat. I fought hard as he tried to control me again. In his ear I said softly, "Give me an excuse. Any excuse to make mud with your ashes."

His eyes were slits, "How nice of you to offer to dirty your hands again with murder, Edward."

I snarled and he smiled at me, toning down my anger with his abilities.

He tutted me, "You really shouldn't work yourself up like this, Edward. Bad for the soul."

I could feel Alice's hand on mine, pulling me away from Jasper, "Jasper, that's enough! Don't antagonize him!"

I stepped away from both of them. Jasper had always been this way, had always enjoyed provoking me. He always knew exactly where to stick the hot poker in. I scowled at the two of them, Alice's thoughts of me drifted through my mind, as she remembered me as I was, a few decades back.

My own golden eyes stared back at me from her thoughts.

How quickly it all changed.

In the moment when my immortal father changed me to what I am, what I loathed, he promised my soul to damnation. For the most part, he enjoyed having me as his 'son,' but often wondered if he would have made the same decision had he known I would be so unhappy.

He knew exactly how I felt about it, they all did: my 'family'.

Alice's thoughts reached me, _Edward I had no idea he was going to do it, until he changed his mind. I will be dealing with this myself. _

Her mind showed me the argument they'd had when he arrived home. Alice's anger and hurt at Jasper's actions, and his face, contrite.

My mind went to Bella, as Alice delicately side stepped her vision of Jasper licking Bella's hand. I could feel my jaw tightening, as I thought of him touching her, tasting her, again.

I would need to remove myself from this apartment before I broke something, or him.

***

BPOV

I cut the engine, the Mustang quiet as the garage door shut. I watched as the smallest slice of light disappeared underneath the motorized door. The door shut, the small motor stopping abruptly, and the sudden quiet darkness was oddly satisfying.

It was what I had been trying to do all fucking day, really, finding absolute and total silence. Both in, and outside of my head.

I grabbed my bag from where it rested on the seat and got out of the car. Not bothering with any lights, I walked into the house and headed into the kitchen, dropping my purse on the small island. Running my fingers through my hair, I exhaled. I shrugged out of my jacket and laid it over the island. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat, it required too much thinking.

Which is something else I'd been trying for all day: avoiding too many thought processes.

I decided I would take a shower, hot steam and blinding fog incredibly appealing. I crept up the dark staircase, my hand sliding along the wooden banister. When I got to the end of the hall, I opened the door to the bathroom. Again, I didn't bother with the lights; I didn't want to see my reflection in the mirrors. There was a window in the bathroom, and enough streetlight filtered in ,so I wasn't totally blind

I pulled off my clothes, and left them in a pile on the floor. Feeling my way in the dark, I stepped through the open glass doors, turned on the shower, and let the warm water poor over me. The temperature was almost too hot, but I enjoyed the punishment, hoping it would turn my skin red.

My brain was just fried. On total overload. I didn't know what else to think, what else to feel. I slid down the wall of the shower, naked and in the dark as the warm water pelted me. My wet hair hung around me, the dark tendrils like twisted ribbons around my face, and down my back.

I must have sat like that for going on an hour, my skin was pruny, and the water started to change temperature. I yawned, and finally stood up.

I wasn't any farther forward, trying piece everything together.

And that was just it. Maybe I didn't fucking want to. Maybe I didn't have to rationalize this. Wasn't this the fantasy of women the world over? To be made love to by a vam-

That was the kind of the thought process I'd been struggling to avoid all fucking day.

I found the towels in the cabinet, and wrapped a large fluffy bath towel around me. I felt overly warm now, I could almost feel myself sweating. I padded into the bedroom, still too warm. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and there were splinters of light from the streetlights outside.

To cool off, I opened the window slightly. The room was stuffy anyways, and the bitter December air blew in through the large window.

Clouds obscured the moon, and I pulled the towel around me securely. I moved to the dresser, opening drawers, and pulled out a t-shirt.

When I turned around, I got the fright of my life.

He stood there, leaning against the dresser, not a foot from me. His face was tight, anxious, but he didn't look at me.

"We need to talk," he said, his voice low. My body reacted instantly to the sound of him so close. His hair was that windblown messed up way, and it seemed almost black in the darkened room. He wore a black v-neck t shirt, the sinew and muscle of his arms barely visible in the dark. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans, and he wore the Doc Martins I loved so much.

_God, if he didn't scare the shit out of me, I would jump him right now. _

I swallowed, "How did you get in here?"

He gestured with his chin, "The window."

"Oh."

What the fuck do you say to that?

"Ladder?" I asked.

_Please say yes. Please say yes._

He turned his head, his eyes finally meeting mine. Heat, they were full of heat.

"No."

I tried to remain calm, but my heart was pumping a million miles a minute.

"Um. Do you mind if I get dressed?" I was starting to shiver now. He didn't answer me, but walked over and shut the window. He came back, his boots scuffing on the floor, his eyes captured mine again, they were burning as they studied me, caressed me, from head to toe.

"That won't be necessary," Something flickered across his face and I trembled, but not from cold.

I swallowed, "It is for me, if you want to talk."

His jaw flexed and he blinked at me, "Very well. Shall I meet you downstairs in five minutes?"

"Um, ok?"

He nodded. I saw his eyes linger at my arms, and I looked at them to see what he was staring at.

_Oh yeah. _

Yesterday, when James had grabbed me, his fingers had left bruises on my arms.

I watched his eyes narrow, his jaw ticked, but he didn't say anything. He just moved in that fluid way of his towards the door.

I turned to pull a pair of black yoga pants out of the dresser. When I looked back up, he was gone. It was really fucking creepy when he did that.

My hands shook as I got dressed, knowing he was downstairs, lurking.

***

EPOV

I waited in the unmoving darkness downstairs, the living room still, except for the celestial dance of dust particles in the air. I listened to the rustle of cotton over her skin, as she slid clothes on. Finally she came downstairs, her hair in a bun on top of her head.

She wore no bra, and her breasts were like fruit, that I wished to squeeze, touch, taste.

She was wet from the shower, her hair still very damp. It made her smell sweeter, and I resisted the urge to run my nose along her fresh skin.

Bella avoided my gaze as she came into the room, skirting around me, as she flicked on the gas fireplace. It filled the room with soft golden light. Her eyes slowly adjusted, and I watched as her longs lashes swept her cheek. She lit two candles that sat on her coffee table, each large candle holding three wicks.

There was no other light on in the house. Just the mellow play of naked flame.

Finally, she took a seat on the couch, as far from me as she could get, and pulled a cushion in front of her, defensively. Her eyes darted to mine and then quickly looked away, watching the dance of flame in one of the candles.

She spoke before I could start, "I think I've got this pretty much figured out."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Do you?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"And how did you reach your conclusion?" I studied her, she seemed outwardly calm, but her heart beat betrayed her.

She turned her head to look at me, "It was a combination of things, I guess. The other night, the knife. The blood. Your skin. Your strength, your speed, the way you move. Then-um. Then there was Jasper." She said the last part in a small choked whisper and her heart sped faster still.

I could smell fear from her.

My hands tightened to fists, as I thought again of Jasper, and that she said his name, afraid. Something moved in me, wanting to protect her. Reassure her.

I shifted on the couch closer to her, faster than she was accustomed to seeing me move. She gasped softly as I sat next to her, our legs touching. Although I was immortally frozen, there was still heat between us. I watched her chest rise and fall, and remembered the way her skin tasted, how she had moaned under my touch, my mouth.

Candle flame flickered in her eyes.

She didn't try to move away from me, her body responding to the closeness of mine. Bending towards me, rather than away.

"Tell me," I voice was soft, "I can't." I ran a finger from her hairline to her jaw, "I want to know what you're thinking."She closed her eyes."Tell me."Her lids opened, her eyes were almost pleading. She looked at a spot behind my shoulder, "I can't. Because if I say it, it's gonna be real. And if you confirm it, if you actually confirm it, I don't know whether to run screaming from you, or screaming towards you."

My finger moved down her cheek again, and this time I moved her face so her eyes met mine.

"Whatever you think I am, remember how you feel. Every time I touch you, every time I'm near you, it's the same for me, Bella. I can see the way you react, I can hear it, feel it. It is undeniable. Is it necessary for you to voice your fears?"

Her eyes seemed hypnotized and it took her a moment to respond, "Yes. I need to know, Edward. You've met Jake. I don't want that again, to be a sole possession. I don't want to be owned."

I decided it would not be prudent to mention how much I considered her mine at this juncture. Although, it would be fascinating to see her reaction to admit that she possessed me just as much.

Her eyes had darted away from me again, looking down at her hands.

"Bella, look at me," I waited but she did not comply. I was close to her face, my lips nearly brushing hers, "Look at me."

Her eyes darted up, wide.

"Say it and be done with it."

"I can't."

I growled, frustrated and whipped the pillow away from her, tossing it across the room. The motion flickered the candle flames, their erratic dance matching her heart, as I moved ever closer to her until she was almost leaning back against the couch. I braced a hand beside her, effectively blocking her off. I knew it was intimidating, I knew it probably frightened her, but I wanted this out in the open between us.

I couldn't resist the touch of my lips to hers. She didn't pull back, and I pressed my lips more firmly against hers, my tongue running along her lush lower lip. Her eyes closed, as did mine and her hands were on my shirt, sliding over my shoulders.

I stopped before it went any further, any deeper.

"Now, Bella. Say it. It will be between us." We had angled, had moved, with me pressed against her, so when she drew breath, her breasts pressed against my chest.

Her mind, closed to me, her mouth refused to breath the thoughts racing across her eyes.

I brushed my lips against hers again.

Her breath shuddered and she whispered the word against my lips.

"Vampire."

I pulled back sharply, to look in her eyes.

"Are you afraid?"

She took this as confirmation, and I feared for her health as she shook all over.

"Yes."

My hand cupped her cheek, and she didn't flinch or pull away.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I won't hurt you. You mean far too much to me, more than you know."

I startled myself with this revelation, but it was the truth.

She closed her eyes, breaking the only tangible contact I had to her thoughts, "Are you-are you going to kill me?"

I chuckled darkly, "No."

"Do you want to drink my blood?"

I moved so my lips could touch her ear, "Very much, Bella."

"Why me?"

A clichéd human lament, spoken softly into my ear, I had heard it on mortal lips and in minds for over a century.

"Because your blood sings for me, Bella. Only me. You are unique to anything I have ever come across. You are an anomaly to every human I have known." I moved back to watch her eyes.

"How am I? What makes me so different?"

"Your smell, your taste. Your mind is completely silent to me." She blinked at that, and I watched her brows draw together in confusion.

I struggled to explain, "I have the unique ability to hear the thoughts of those around me. But you are completely closed off. Silent and beautiful."

Her lips parted and she closed her eyes for a moment. I waited as she drew in short little breaths, her mind silently working.

"Say something."

She inhaled and let it out slowly, and I inhaled her, drawing her scent into my own body.

"I'm sorry. This is a lot to take in. A lot to think about."

I slid an arm between her and the couch cushion, angling my arm up so that my hand splayed over her back, pushing her towards me. I pressed closer and moved back to kiss her neck, her pulse alive under my lips.

"Don't think, Bella." I kissed her skin, my teeth dangerously close to her neck as I moved to her ear, "Feel. Feel this, what is between us: the intensity." My voice was low, almost a whisper as I spoke into her ear once again. I kissed back down her neck, and moved my lips to the small area at the beginning of her shoulder, not covered by her t-shirt. I sucked lightly on the sensitive skin, until she gasped.

"I think you need to leave."

The words, spoken from her lovely mouth, brought my head up sharply. She wasn't looking at me, she was staring into the naked flames in the fireplace.

"You're sure?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Very well."

In one fluid motion I was upright, and stalking away from her.

I looked over my shoulder at her, assessing her, "I do not sleep. You know where I'll be."

I walked to the door and opened it, and the beast laughed mockingly at me.

***

EPOV

At three AM, there was a curious sound from across the street. It was the soft smack of bare feet on pavement. I looked up from the piano where I had been toying with the keys. From the window, I could see her clearly. No coat, and still wearing her t-shirt and cotton pants.

She made her way up to the house, running lightly, her arms crossed in front of her. Before she could knock at the door, I had it open. She shivered as she stepped over the threshold. I shut the door behind her, locking it.

She stood shaking in the hallway, not looking at me. Before I could speak, she spouted a long monologue.

"I can't say that when you left, I didn't want to scream for you to come back. I need you, and I don't know why. I don't know what kind of relationship this is supposed to be, and I don't know what a normal relationship is like, since I've only ever been with Jake. But I do know that the power can't be yours all the time, that I have to have some say. I've done that before, I can't do it again. I'm not looking for a long term commitment. I'm looking for another taste of you. I don't know how I feel about you drinking my blood, and I totally don't want this to be some sort of convoluted melodramatic Buffy and Angel bullshit. I frankly don't care. I give up. I give up on men. They are stupid and piggish and I figure you're a man but not quite which makes you different, hopefully. And I really wish that you would shut me up because I'm talking on and on. Just, I don't know, kiss me or fuck me or whatever, cause I-"

I pulled her roughly to me, and she fisted her fingers in my t-shirt. I kissed her, devouring her mouth. Our tongues mated, a simulation of what I partly wanted of her body. She was pulling at my shirt, tugging it up, her warm hands on my skin. Her breathing was erratic, and she made tiny whimpering sounds as she pulled at the cotton of my shirt.

We broke apart for a second, and I pulled the offending shirt off. She did the same with her own shirt, and I groaned at the sight of her naked breasts.

She was exquisite.

But my eyes took in the bruising again, someone had left marks on her skin, as clear as fingerprints. I intended to find out the whys and who later.

For a moment, she flinched under my gaze, but it was gone and the huntress was back.

She pressed herself against me, her heat between us seared, and she sucked on my lower lip, her hot tongue caressing. Her hands slid into my hair, tugging, as she fitted her softer curves to me. I closed my eyes, fighting for control as her naked flesh pressed against mine.

"Bella, do you know what you're asking for?"

She was kissing along my jaw and her breath was hot in my ear, "Do I need to spell it out for you, Edward?"

I had seen this moment before, the fantasies of me, naked, the woman the aggressor. It was not in my nature to allow it, and when the control inevitably pivoted to me, those thoughts quieted.

I realized she was trying to push me backwards, and we did an offbeat waltz into the living room. Our mouths connected, our teeth crashing. I tried to be gentle with her, knowing at any moment, I could crush her, kill her. As we passed by the light switch, I briefly flicked it on, the setting dull, the room lit with gentle light.

Bella seemed to know what she wanted, as she angled me towards the couch. Her fingers were frantic at my button fly, and she struggled to open it. My cock was more than ready for her, and I wondered how far she was willing to go with this.

Finally, my jeans were open, the fabric slid over my hips and down to my feet. Her hands went for my cock, testing, and I broke from her mouth to look into her eyes. I studied them, the pupils large, and dilated with need. My hand slipped inside her loose pants, and I realized she wore no underwear. It was her, only her, and her sex. She was wet, more than ready, and she shuddered when my thumb grazed her clit.

"Sit." she gave the order against my lips, and I smirked as I removed my hand from her and sat on the couch. Her hands moved to the waistband of her pants and pushed them down, revealing herself to me, her skin luminous in the weak light.

She joined me, straddling my legs, her sex inches away from me, and I resisted the urge to reverse our positions, and bury myself deep inside her.

She grasped my jaw in her hands, her fingers touching me almost reverently. I thought she was going to kiss me, but she sat back and allowed her hands to roam, her nails skimming over my collarbone. My hands found her hips, and they climbed up her sides, to her breasts. I cupped her in my palms, and watched as she arched her back, moaning with need as I rubbed my thumbs over her nipples.

My hands moved to her back, pushing her closer to me. My cock brushed her belly, and her breasts were dangerously close to my mouth. Her hands were back to my shoulders and she arched her back again, urging, as one of her nipples brushed against my lips.

I opened my mouth and took the fruit she offered, the pink flesh appealing to me uniquely.

It was _her_, the taste of her skin was a medley, her soft gasps making my cock harder, as I teased her with my tongue. Although she was the aggressor, her position was still vulnerable. I moved one of my hands between her legs, and teased her unmercifully. Her hips ground and shuddered against my fingers as I stroked over her, the tiny sensitive part of her responding to my slightest touch. She sought more as I moved to her other breast, and I could feel her fingers trying to dig into my shoulders.

I shifted my hands to around to her back again, cupping her backside, squeezing, and she moaned. She moved, positioning herself, and in one fluid motion she shifted her hips, my cock poised at her opening. She was hot, she burned for me, and I wanted to feel all of her, desperate to be inside her.

"Now Bella."

She brought her hips down and both of us groaned, her sound delicate, mine a snarl. Her hands flexed on my shoulders, her nails attempting to dig into my skin.

Her body moved, her hands applying pressure to my shoulders, the length of me sliding into her and back out. Her movements were slow, and she savored the feeling of me filling her, again and again. Her eyes found mine, and we watched each other's reactions, as she moved. Her lips were parted, and shuddering breaths left them followed by a small moan. She moved faster, both of us needing more, and she gave as she received. She was totally uninhibited, and watching her, her dark hair back over her shoulders, her breasts in my eyesight, she was perfection, she was Lilith, the seductress.

She reached higher, her movements faster. She ground against me, and both of us moaned. I watched as she reached her pinnacle, and then she orgasmed. I held her back as she arched, my face in her breasts, her muscles pulsing, fluttering against my cock.

I grasped her hips, not allowing her to come down, and moved her over me, faster, finding rhythm and drive until I finally released, letting go, my growls mixing with her cries as she found herself over the edge again.

She panted against me, her smell all around me. I breathed it in, was drunk on it, on her. Our foreheads touched, and finally she collapsed on me, limp and sated, and incredibly vulnerable. I ran my hands over her back.

Unbidden, the beast returned, his eyes glowing, his grin ferocious.

_My turn._

* * *

**A/N**

**Tiger, tiger, burning bright/****In the forests of the night/****What immortal hand or eye/****Could frame thy fearful symmetry? ****~William Blake**

**Join us on the thread at twilighted:**

**http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=33&t=8858&st=0&sk=t&sd=a**

**Please, I'm begging, give me your angst. Black Balloon Contest closes April 2nd. Good Friday. Give it to us. I'm a staff member, check the communities on my profile for details. *Taps Vein* I'm waiting, and need a hit.**


	14. Chapter 13: The Beast

**A/N**

**All that Twilight jazz ain't mine, it's Stephenie Meyer's funny valentine. When she was doing the cell block tango, I gave Edward the old razzle dazzle.**

**Chicago much?**

**Lambcullen sends me dirty Rob texts when I'm low, and that's why I love her. She also kindly beta's this demon, much to my delight. And his.**

**Thanks to snshyne who died again and again while pre-reading. Services are to be confirmed, knickers may be donated to the Snshyne Memorial Fund. Xo**

**Snshyne says there should be a warning. Demonic lemons, dead ahead…**

**Songs for this chapter:  
****La Misere du Viellissement, Christopher Smith (this is what Edward is playing at the beginning of this chapter)  
****Anytime, Anyplace: Janet Jackson  
****Am I Demon: Danzig  
****Black Magic Woman: Carlos Santana  
****Your Congratulations: Alanis Morrisette**

* * *

'_It is the beast that dwells in man's soul.'  
_From _Creditors_, a play by August Strindberg

EPOV

My fingers caressed over the keys, the notes quietly lamenting in the predawn gloom. A somber disjointed waltz, to move almost in time with the metronome of her heart in the next room. Her breathing a soft percussion accompaniment to the strange band of emotions that had been unleashed within me.

Yes. The beast was satisfied.

Both of us were. I have been with human females, and immortal females as well. It was a part of me, a constant pull to possess, to dominate, to claim. Time and again, drinking and sex were a part of my fiber, my being. It was my place in the world that kept my sanity steady.

Bella, she was more for some reason, and I still didn't know how to acknowledge it.

Acknowledge her.

When she had collapsed, her body sated, her neck was in easy reach, a perfect angle. I had licked the innocent sweat, a small gratification, her taste diluted.

The beast growled, and I knew when she tensed, that he had been overly vocal in his want. My knife was nowhere near, and I knew that I would not be able to take steel to her skin. No, she was mine. No other weapon but mine would do.

"Bella."

She purred against me, her arms wrapping around me, her breasts pressing firmer against my chest. My cock was still deep inside her, and she pulsed around me, lending her unique rhythms to my quiet flesh.

The internal door rattled so violently, it became unhinged, and the beast was barely tethered inside my soul.

"Bella, close your eyes. If you do nothing else in this life, close your eyes and remain still. Breathe, only if you must. I cannot hold back any longer."

I stood up, her legs instinctively wrapped around me. I held her against me, still inside and fell to the floor, laying her down on the rug. My razor sharp teeth brushed against her flesh, and she moaned. I moved inside her once, her gasp whisper soft in my ear. Her body tightened itself around me, her thighs holding me. I panted in her ear, abusing the small tender thread of control I had left, as I drank her scent in.

I growled, low in my throat.

The small taste the other night was not even an appropriate aperitif. I closed my eyes, and reached between us to stroke her, finding her wet, slippery, and hot with my fingers. She bucked beneath me, and I smoothed my fingers in circles, bringing her close to her own brink. Her breathing became labored, her heart sloshed blood through her veins. Just as she began to orgasm, I could not bear it any longer.

I licked her again and this time, my teeth found their mark. Her blood, warm and sweet, flowed into my mouth. She cried out in my arms, and I moved my hips, my cock finding a sensitive place deep inside her, she arched against me.

"Edward…"

I was still wholly unprepared for her taste. I tried to hold back the frenzied instinct to drink her dry, desperately trying to convince every part of myself that I was more than predator.

I closed my eyes, her dark flavor unlike anything else. I was euphoric, and for the first time in an entire century, I felt a small inner peace.

My mind brought me back to the present. I had licked her wound closed, making sure to suck my own venom out as well. She was weak, even though I had not even begun to drink my fill. I had taken enough to make sure I would not be so hungry, but not enough to entirely satisfy me.

How much would be enough?

She had begun shivering in the night, and I had turned the fire on in the fireplace. I could not offer her warmth, my own warmth stolen a long time ago. I covered her as best as I could, wrapping her naked body in the fur. I paused by a mirror that was in the hall, noting my face had a slight flush to it, and it was because of her. I could not meet my own eyes, knowing exactly what would be staring back at me.

As I continued to play, the sun began her lazy ascent behind a duvet of thick cloud.

I did not keep food in the house, and vaguely wondered if this is something I should consider.

***

BPOV

I woke the next morning, and felt like I'd been hit by a fucking freight train. My head, surprisingly, was not sore, but the rest of me was aching. But it was a good ache, an ache I'd never experienced before. I felt oddly satisfied.

My mind replayed last nights events. It felt surreal, like it wasn't me. I had never done anything like that before in my life. I covered my face with my hands, a little embarrassed.

What if he thought I was this total danger slut, now?

And how do I classify _this_ in my mind? There were no labels. Applying boyfriend to Edward seemed fucking laughable. Calling him my lover was overly dramatic. Were we even friends?

I was distracted by the quiet piano music that flowed softly through the house from somewhere. I stretched, and realized I was lying on the rug, naked. I felt myself blush and sat up slowly. My head swam slightly, and it took me a moment for the room to stop spinning. I moaned, shutting my eyes.

The piano music paused.

I don't even remember being on the rug. I tried to remember, and vague flashes of us on the couch, then him growling. Then his whispered plea in my ear, _Close your eyes Bella…_

And then I'd had the most erotic experience of my life. The pleasure, the way he had moved in me, filling me. His teeth at my neck, and as a part of me stared at myself in horror, the way he had licked and sucked from my neck, while he moved his fingers between my legs, his hips thrusting. I closed my eyes, feeling my nipples tighten again, needing more, wanting him again. My hand drifted to my neck, and I felt no wound. He didn't have fangs, but I thought there would be something, at least.

The music continued, filling the silence again, the same sorrowful notes.

I found my t-shirt near the couch and crawled towards it. I put it on, and retrieved my yoga pants from underneath the couch. I stood up slowly, and pulled them on. My head swam, and the room tilted. I braced myself on the side of the couch. I breathed slowly for an instant.

The piano music paused again, briefly. The silence stretched, heavy, and then dissipated, the notes continuing.

My muscles were so stiff, and I was dying for a fucking cigarette.

I braced myself on the couch and then moved away from it, trying to take it slow, so I didn't fall on my ass. It felt like I'd had a four hour workout without stretching out afterwards, I was so stiff. My steps were small as I made my way into the foyer. When I saw him in the open doorway of the room across the foyer, I paused.

I didn't think there were moments in life that actually took your breath away, that made you forget to breathe. That shit was for movies with dramatic lighting and perfectly blocked lines and dialogue.

But seeing him there, watching him, was like watching a moving piece of art.

He had pulled his jeans on, but not fastened them, they were loose and low on his hips. He sat at the piano bench, his perfect back naked. He was toned, his muscles bunching and flexing, his posture straight and proud. The dent of his spine tapered into his jeans but moved in perfect symmetry as he played. I watched his shoulder blades move gracefully, the artful movement begging for my fingertips. I wanted to trace every flawless inch of him with my hands, my lips.

His hair was slightly mussed, and I blushed, knowing it was from my own fingers. I felt slightly possessive, knowing that I had done it, and that he had not cared to straighten it.

I entered the room, a floorboard creaking under my foot, but he did not stop playing. I bit my lip, I wanted him again, and watching him at that big black piano was not helping. The room was all black, the dark flooring, the black curtains covering the windows, only light seeping in was early morning grays. There were no pictures, and even the walls were black, a strip of white molding running around them.

He was the only color in the room, the only thing remotely alive, barring the piano.

I was close enough to touch him now, to smell him, to kiss the side of his neck. I tried to resist, but my hands weren't my own anymore, and like metal to a magnet, I reached out. My fingers shook, as I touched the band of steely muscle over his shoulder. His fingers continued over the piano, and I moved my fingers over his beautiful skin.

Jake had never allowed me touch him this way.

I was fascinated by Edward's form. I laid my palms on his shoulders, feeling the work of tendon and bone. Touching him while his music radiated around the room, engulfing us both, made me feel attached, involved, and part of the music itself. I could feel myself pulsing, electrical currents moving from my chest to between my legs.

I felt bold and I licked my lips. I kissed the side of his neck. He did not pause, his fingers didn't miss a note. But I heard him inhale roughly.

I sucked his earlobe into my mouth, while my hands rested gently on his shoulders.

"Edward…" I breathed into his ear and this time, he paused, his long fingers hovering over keys.

I noticed his eyes were shut, as I kissed along his jaw. I sat down on the bench beside him. He wouldn't look at me.

"Edward?"

He turned his face away.

I tried to stifle the gasp that crawled from my throat. I remembered that gesture, had thought I was over the pain of rejection.

But here it was again.

I got up and tried to straighten my spine, preparing myself for the walk of shame back to my house. At least there were cigarettes over there. And clean clothes.

I was at the door when his voice, all sex and caressing, said my name.

"Bella. Wait."

I clenched my teeth but jumped when he was beside me too quickly. His eyes were still closed but the back of his fingers caressed my cheek.

"It's not you, Bella. It's m-"

"Don't even fucking go there!" I hissed at him.

He leaned in, so his lips were at my ear, and I couldn't see his face. His hands settled on my shoulders, then trailed over my arms. My skin tingled everywhere he touched, and I shivered as his hands settled at my waist, holding me to him.

"I don't want you to see me this way," he whispered.

I pulled back from him, but his eyes were still shut.

"What do you mean? Why won't you open your eyes?"

"I can't." His voice was strained. His fingers found my skin, where my shirt had risen slightly at my back. His nose ghosted over my cheek again and the cool morning air seeped in from the open door, settling around us like a shroud.

My voice wasn't as strong this time, and I leaned toward him when he abruptly pulled away, "What do you mean you can't? What are you hiding?"

He sighed, and his breath washed over me."Very well, Bella. Just remember, you asked for this."

The long lashes that rested on his perfect cheek fluttered, and his eyes opened slowly, the pupils regarding me it was the irises, those frightening irises that choked me. Their color reminded me of things I had hoped would stay inside my were beautiful though, even though they scared the living breath right out of me.

Their color, an odd vibrant red that I couldn't look away from. It reminded me of these shoes I'd had when I was a little girl. I had wanted to be Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz so bad. Mom had bought me ruby red slippers, and I wore them until the little red bows fell off and soles wore down.

But they were that bright red glitter that I now saw in Edward's eyes.

"Why?" I asked, before I could restrain myself.

"Why are they red?" he reaffirmed.

I nodded, mute.

"Because when I feed, the irises turn color."

"Oh."

I continued to stare into his eyes but then I was distracted by his eyelashes. They were so long. I'd never noticed them before. The small feature, which you didn't see unless you were close, made his strong face, his angular jaw, and even his frightening eyes vulnerable somehow.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said lowly.

"You have long eyelashes," I blurted out. I bit my lip and looked down.

His hand was at my chin and he nudged it up until I was looking into his eyes again. They were kinda starting to grow on me.

One of his brows quirked up, and his mouth kicked up on one side in a small grin, "Long eyelashes?"

I nodded, licking my lips. His eyes followed the motion and I felt my body kick into gear again, wanting him. His nostrils flared slightly, and before I could take another breath, his lips swooped down to mine.

His hand shut the door behind me, the sound barely noticeable. His arm trapped me on one side, his palm flat against the wood. My hands settled on his bare chest, ghosting over the muscle, and slight dusting of hair on his torso. His skin was almost lukewarm under my fingertips. I wanted to touch him all over, see what his skin tasted like. He smelled amazing, like fresh linen, sandalwood, and something distinctly male.

His hand cupped my breast, his thumb running over the nipple, and I moaned into his mouth. He pressed against me, and the door dug into my back. I didn't care, I was more interested in the hard arousal pressing against me from his unbuttoned jeans.

One of the hands on his chest slid down, over his stomach, tickling over his navel, to the trail of fine hair that disappeared into his jeans. I wrapped my hand around him, making him hiss into my mouth. I flexed my fingers, squeezing him. His mouth became more insistent on mine, more demanding. Rougher. I could feel my lips bruising, but I didn't give a fuck at this point. I wanted to devour him and be devoured.

His hand moved from the door to my ass, and he squeezed me, as his tongue delved into mouth caressing me. I whimpered into his mouth, and he broke the kiss. He ran his tongue over my lower lip, as I opened my eyes to look into his.

The crimson of his irises sent a thrill through me, whether it was fear or lust, I had no idea. But I liked it, loved the delicate shiver that ran through me.

I squeezed him, running my thumb along the underside of the head of his hard arousal, and he shuddered. His mouth moved to my throat and I tensed.

He laughed darkly, "I'm not going to bite you, Bella. Relax."

I felt his nose along my neck as his lips kissed the hollow of my throat. I squeezed him again, moving my hand up, and then back down. He groaned. I felt emboldened by him, knowing he allowed me to touch him this way.

His hands moved inside my pants, sliding over my hip. I closed my eyes when his fingers moved against me, separating, delving. His mouth rested against mine, I felt his lips brush against mine as my hips moved against him. His fingers circled, swirled, as I ran my hand up and down his shaft. I bit my lip as he slipped a finger inside me.

"Edward…"

My knees felt like they wouldn't support me, they started to shake as he moved his finger in and out of me, his thumb moving over my clit.

"Edward, I can't…"

"You can. You will."

I opened my eyes, and his were intense, watching me. My breasts felt heavy, my nipples tingled, and my abdomen tightened, coiling like a wound spring.

Our hands moved in unison, my breathing faster, and I felt like I was running to catch up, my whole body alive, thriving. He groaned against my lips as he thrust into my hand. I wanted more, needed more, even though I felt myself start to spiral out of control.

His thumb moved in fast little strokes over me, and I felt the rush, from my toes, running up the inside of my legs and finally pulsing inside of me. I cried out, my hips flexing against him when I felt my body let go. I burned hotly and his fingers slowed as my eyes closed.

As I came back down from my high, I realized his arm was supporting me, and that I still had my hand around him, and he was still very hard.

My eyes met his, "I'm sorry."

He smirked, "For what?"

"Because I didn't…because you didn't." I could feel myself blushing.

His free hand moved between us and wrapped around the one I had in his jeans. He squeezed and I throbbed.

"I'm sure if we give it enough thought, we can find an agreeable conclusion together, Bella."

He smiled darkly at me, and I blushed deeper.

He moved my hand again, and dragged it slowly from his jeans. He turned, my hand still in his, and led me towards his kitchen.

If this were a normal morning, it would be cigarettes, caffeine, shower. It would be a bowl of kid's cereal, just my grumpy face and Toucan fucking Sam.

But this wasn't a normal morning. I was starting to get the feeling that my mornings were not ever going to be normal again. And I watched the heated look in his eyes as he led me forward. I was so busy paying attention to him that I nearly tripped over my own foot, stubbing my toe on the floor. Before I could swear, I was in his arms, pressed to his chest.

We were moving too fast, the air moving past my cheek, but it was over before I could fully register what was happening. I blinked, and we moved from the hallway entrance and into the long kitchen. I was sitting on the edge of a large, dark-stained wooden table. My t-shirt was over my head, and his hands were on my skin, smoothing over my navel, cupping my breasts. He bent his head to my nipples, his mouth sucking deeply, biting gently. I moaned, arching my back, my fingers curling over the edge of the table.

He released, blowing icy breath over my wet skin and my center pulsed. I felt alive, so fucking alive and awake for the first time in a long time. I wanted him, wanted whatever was between us to keep going forever.

"Please Edward…"

He helped me pull my yoga pants off, and then shoved his jeans down. He was beautiful, if a man can be called that. I stared at him, biting my lip again, and I thought I would explode. His red irises met mine, and I was lost in them, the sensual darkness of his dilated pupils pulled me in, as he positioned himself at my entrance. He entered me, and I gasped as he filled me, his face above mine and I lay back on the table.

His posture was dominant against mine, and I welcomed him as he moved his hips back, sliding out and then slamming back in, both of us moaning. The table trembled beneath me as he slid home, again and again, my mind obliterating quickly. I vaguely heard him groan, his hands on my hips, as his snarl filled my ear, as he found his own release.

I lay panting beneath him, unable to define anything but him.

Somehow, I was dressed, and floated back across the street. There were no kisses goodbye, just promising looks and my body screamed at me to turn around.

When I walked in the door, it was familiarity that greeted me. But there was something missing. I settled into cigarettes, ashtrays, and pressing the on button for the coffee machine. The familiar aroma filled the air, as my mind replayed every action, word, moan, growl, and piano note of the last few hours.

Caffeine filled my bloodstream, racing with the nicotine, but my body was already awake. Later, in the shower, my hands on my body weren't enough. I wanted his hands, his touch, until I was nearly bent over.

Toucan Sam eyed me wearily from the front of the cereal box. Somehow, even he knew he wasn't enough.

***

EPOV

I was reeling.

The burn in my throat was somewhat sated, the door to my baser instincts locked tightly shut.

Bella had unlocked something else though, something I was very unsure of. When she had left this morning, her eyes had asked me for something, and not being able to read her mind, I was unable to give.

The house was too quiet without her soft breaths, her steady heart. I thought of her, her cream skin, her scent, her taste.

I dressed, changing into black jeans, black sweater. I was mentally tracing every inch of her with my mind, when I remembered one of the errands I needed to make today. And it would have to be today.

I looked out the window, the sound of her motorcycle speeding down her drive. Her legs clutched around the metal and steel, her leather jacket tight on her body.

I grabbed keys and black sunglasses from the table in the hall. It was overcast, but it looked and smelled as though it would stay dry for the better part of the day. I headed stealthily towards the city, my intentions clear.

I arrived quicker than I thought. I could smell her vaguely inside, but I wasn't looking for Bella.

I waited outside, waited all day, quietly. The alley was dark and I was motionless, and out of sight of the passing people, their day to day issues and responsibilities at the forefront of their minds. My throat burned, but not as painfully after last night.

Finally, I did not have much longer to wait. The scent heightened, and I could hear the internal murmurings of the narcissistic mind that went with the scent. He passed by me and I struck, a viper, coiled and ready.

He made no sound, but there was a low growl in my throat. We were deep in the alley, the evening draping the narrow dankness, choking any light from the corner where we stood.

I twisted his arm, listening to muscle pulling, stretching, his blood pumping, adrenal fear rising from his skin. I stood behind him, and he could not see my face.

"Make any noise, and they will find your body mangled here tomorrow morning."

"I swear I won't talk. My wallet is in my back pocket. I think there's a hundred bucks in there. Take it."

I growled again and he flinched, "Now James, that sounds like noise. You wouldn't be stupid enough to make noise after I've asked you so nicely to keep your fucking mouth shut, would you?"

He was quiet and I waited.

"Good. You will listen to me, and listen very carefully. I hate repeating myself. Ready? Nod if you're ready."

He nodded.

Lowly, I snarled, "You do not put your hands on any woman. You will make sure you keep them off of Bella and if I find out."

At the mention of her name, his thoughts showed me exactly how she had acquired those bruises, and that she had deftly defended herself. Then he showed me another scene, another time he had touched her.

"Ah, James. What are we going to do with you? What is the phrase? No means no. Perhaps you need more than just words."

_Yes. Drink. Kill._

I resisted both urges.

However, the satisfying crunch of his skull off of the dirty brick brought some relief. His thoughts quieted, and he slipped into an unconscious stream of blurred images. I fished into his pocket and took his wallet, throwing it into the dumpster on my way out of the alley.

I could smell blood from an open wound, but I walked quickly away from him, his smell disgusting me.

***

BPOV

It was final run-throughs, there wasn't much to do but moving set pieces on and off. Dress rehearsals were hellish, people stressed about little details. Small squabbles usually broke out as egos clashed, collided.

I was outside of it all though, blowing smoke rings into the evening air. And smiling like a goddam idiot.

The door opened abruptly, and Angela stepped out, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Jesus, Bella. It is so cold," she shivered, "How can you stand out here and do that?" She chafed her arms, pulling her sweater over her hands.

I smiled at her and stubbed out my cigarette. We didn't say anything, just watched the cars slowly pass us by.

Angela cut into the silence with a huff, "Right, I'm just gonna say it. Why the fuck have you been so smiley today? If I didn't know any better, that's gotta be a post O-Face smile."

I glanced at her, and raised an eyebrow.

Her face dropped, "Shut the fuck up, Bella Swan. I'm gonna need details! Dates, times, positions, numbers."

I nibbled on my bottom lip, contemplating how to explain, "Well, do you remember that guy I brought to Inferno?"

"Um, the hot guy with the sex hair and dark eyes. Edward, wasn't it?"

Over her shoulder, there was movement. It was someone walking up the street, but there was a streetlight out, and normally, I wouldn't have been able to tell from so far away who it was.

But I knew that stride, the slow easy movement of those legs. Those legs that moved purposeful, the stalk of a hunter. He passed under a streetlight finally, and I felt his eyes on me. He wore tinted glasses, his ruby irises hidden.

He was like some demon appearing out of nowhere, dressed all in black. I realized Angela was waving a hand in front of my face.

"Hellooo? Earth to Bella."

"Yeah. Edward," I muttered.

_Fuck, was that my voice all floaty and breathless?!_

He was close enough now, that when Angela turned around, she recognized him.

"Oh hi. Edward? We were just talking about you." She smiled at him but elbowed me in the ribs.

His perfect mouth kicked up in that smirk that did crazy things to my insides.

"Were you?" he answered, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel a slow burn running through me at the sound of his voice, despite the evening chill.

"We were. I guess I better get back in there. I have to finish organizing and color coding hangers. See you later Bella!"

I didn't look away from Edward as I muttered a totally unintelligible response to Angela. I licked my lips though, and looked at him from beneath my lashes.

God, it couldn't be right to want something so bad.

"What are you doing here?" _Oh smooth, Swan. Real fucking smooth. _

His glasses slipped a little down his nose, revealing his heated eyes, "Looking for you."

"Oh." I leaned back against the door as he stood right in front of me. He was close, so fucking close, and I wanted his hands on me, everywhere.

"What time do you finish?"

"I-um. I was gonna stay late, but I could go now, if you want."

His lips touched mine, lightly, "I want."

"I brought the bike. I'll need to come back later for it."

He kissed me this time, his lips firmer, "You can take your bike. I came in on foot."

That surprised me, "Foot? All the way from the house?"

He nodded as his hand slid under my leather jacket, his icy skin finding my warm back.

Shivering, I licked my lips again, my tongue inadvertently touching his lips as well, "Is that a um…thing. That you can…do?" I was trying to skirt around saying the word vampire out loud again.

"Yes."

I drew in a breath, "So what, like super speed and strength?"

Again, he nodded while his fingers explored up my spine, "Yes, Bella, but I'm no superhero."

"I hope not, Edward. I prefer bad guys. They're a lot more fun, I've heard."

He chuckled lowly, as he pressed against me, and I could feel him hard against my thigh, "Fun is foreign to me. Fun is for children. This," his hand moved down my back, arching me against him, "this is not something I would define as fun."

I inhaled sharply as my body reacted to his actions and words, "What would you call it?"

"Want." He kissed me roughly.

"Need."

Kiss.

"Desire."

Kiss.

"Erotica."

Kiss.

"Lust."

Kiss.

"Sex."

This time when he kissed me, it was longer, harder, his tongue searching for mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair.

"Shall we go?"

I exhaled and his arms tightened around me, "I need to get my helmet, my boots. Come inside with me."

I didn't want to be away from him, not when my body was humming so loudly I could almost audibly hear it.

I took his hand as he stepped back from me and opened the door. My eyes adjusted to the backstage darkness, as he followed me inside. I led him back towards the locker area, and he stood quietly, watching me change. I grabbed my helmet from on top of the lockers.

"I know this is probably not something you're used to, but I've got a spare helmet, and you should probably wear it. I really don't want the cops to have any excuse to pull us over."

"If I must."

I opened my locker and pulled out the spare black helmet, handing it to him.

I slung my book bag over my shoulder and took his hand. Just as we were turning to leave, Mike came running in, his face frantic. He stopped when he saw Edward. I watched him size Edward up, and had to swallow back a snicker.

_Oh Mike, you have no idea. _

His eyes left Edward, swiveling to mine, "Bella! Have you heard? They just found James in the alleyway by the theater!"

"Oh my God! Is he ok?" As much as I hated James, as much as he is a total prick, I wouldn't wish any harm on him. _Unless it was me inflicting it_, I amended.

"An ambulance just took him away, apparently he had a really nasty bump on the head."

"No shit. Will you keep me updated if you hear anything before I do?"

Mike nodded and rushed off.

I quickly explained to Edward, "James is our theater manager. He kinda owns the place, and is King Douche around here."

"I see."

Pregnant silence stretched between us, to the point where it was almost awkward.

"Let's go?" I finally asked.

"Yes."

We walked back through backstage and out the door. He followed me around to where I had the bike parked.

I shoved my helmet on, kicked up the stand, and straddled the bike. Edward did the same, the helmet hiding all that sex hair. The realization hit me then, and I nearly whimpered.

_Edward was going to ride the bike with me. _

I trembled, as he climbed on behind me, his arms moving around me. I felt my nipples tighten, felt every vibration pulse against me, as I kicked the bike into life. The revs nearly had me falling off. I pushed off, the bike growling beneath me. His weight shifted with mine, pressing against my back.

He took each turn with me gracefully, his body molding to mine. There was the power of steel and engine beneath me. Behind me, was something entirely different.

His arms were around me, his hands splayed, and I swear when we took turns, he knew that his thumbs touched the underside of my breasts through the leather. Even though I wore a jacket and two layers of clothing underneath, his touch seared me.

I was too aware of my ass pressed firmly against him, and at a stop light I shifted back against him suggestively. He moved forward slightly and I swear if there had been people on the street, they would have been treated to the sexiest dry hump I've ever had in my life.

I used to think that red light was too long.

I blinked, and it was green too quickly.

We were pulling up the drive all too soon, and I opened the garage door with the remote I kept in my zippered pocket. I rode in and clicked the button, shutting the door behind us. I turned off the bike and shoved the keys in my pocket.

Edward dismounted first and I followed, kicking the stand down and settling the bike. We pulled our helmets off and I nodded towards the wooden work bench at the back of the garage.

"Put it there if you want."

He placed it on the bench, as I unzipped my jacket. My hands were shaking, as I unlocked the door, aware that he was right behind me.

We entered into the kitchen, the clock reading ten minutes till midnight. I flung my jacket over the counter.

The air seemed full of electric as the door shut behind him. I knew he was still behind me, and his hands pulled my hips against him. I gasped loudly, feeling his hard length pressing against my ass.

Edward unfastened my jeans, sliding the zipper down, the dull buzz of the teeth adding to the tension. He yanked them down, my thong following. He pulled the long sleeved t-shirt over my head, leaving my black tank on.

His hands left me, and I heard the rustle of fabric and the dull thud of his trousers hitting the floor. His hands grabbed my hips and I felt him, hard and ready, pressing against me. One of his fingers dipped inside me and I moaned, needing more.

"Yes. You're as bad as I am."

His fingers swiftly moved back to my hips, and in one deft motion, he was inside me, moving deeply and I groaned.

Oh fuck.

This.

This is what I had wanted all day. I had been caught staring at nothing, day dreaming about this moment for hours.

Him. Deep inside me. My ass slapped his thighs as he moved, and I flexed my hips moving back against him, whimpering when it created more friction.

He leaned over me as I clutched the counter. His hands moved under my tank, stroking my nipples, cupping and squeezing my breasts. He bit my shoulder lightly, and I convulsed around him.

It didn't take long until I was breaking, shattering, and he held onto me, riding it out. He thrust a final time, and his wild groan was all male in my ear.

I panted, leaning across the counter.

Later, much later, he held me in my bed, as I watched the clock turn over to three AM. Sleep was starting to settle over me, and his hands, his fingers running along my skin raised goose bumps where they touched. It was oddly soothing.

My last thought before I fell asleep was barely coherent, and I tucked it away before it kept me awake.

I had left myself open and vulnerable to Jake on so many occasions, that it had shattered me. I'd had enough problems picking up the shards while still bleeding.

Was I leaving myself too vulnerable again?

* * *

**A/N**

**You want some sugar with your lemon, or do you prefer it a little tart and dirty?**

**Small note to say thanks to Roselover24 for interviewing me at the SYTYCW blog. And also to Cryptthing, who is probably my only male reader, and a total kewl guy as well. He recommended my demon and me to his lovely wife. You two are hilarious and keep me smiling. Thanks. xo**

**A link to this interview will be on my profile for a wee while, then I'll move it to the blog. Be warned, I'm a major dork. Srsly. **


	15. Chapter 14: The Tragedy of Mariam

**Stephenie Meyer owns all the Twilight stuff, and has an allergy to citrus fruit. Thank fuck for fanfic.**

**Apparently, we like tart and sweet. Greedy demons, aren't we all? *wink***

**You know by now that lambcullen pwns me and the demon, she betas this to make it shine, in a dark way.**

**Thanks to Snshyne for pre-reading, her comments are made of win, her snark is made of epic win.**

**Music for this chapter:  
****Unusual You: Britney  
****Black Is The Color: Christy Moore  
****Save Me: Queen  
****You Oughta Know: Alanis Morrisette  
****Bloody Motherfucking Asshole: Martha Wainwright  
****Good Enough: Sarah McLachlan**

* * *

'_Oft have I wisht that I from him were free: Oft have I wisht that he might lose his breath, Oft have I wisht his Carkas dead to see.' Act 1, Scene 1, _The Tragedy of Mariam the Faire, by Elizabeth Cary

BPOV

They say you shouldn't smoke in bed; that it's this total fucking fire hazard. They say it's dangerous.

I'll bet _they _have never spent a night with a vampire who wanted nothing more than to constantly watch you orgasm.

Yeah. Now who's smoking.

Edward must have left some time after I fell asleep, because the bed was empty when I woke up. There weren't any noises in the house, and I assumed he'd gone.

My cigarettes were near the bed; the lighter in the top drawer of the bedside cabinet, along with a spare ashtray. I tried not to get ash on the white comforter.

Sleep. I had actually slept, and I was still really surprised by it. Like an unexpected Christmas gift you found unopened at the back of the tree. It had been a long time since I had just fallen asleep. I couldn't believe I had just closed my eyes, and not opened them until the sun was up. That was two nights in a row, now.

I sighed, stubbing out my cigarette, and shoved the covers back. I shivered in the early morning air. Outside, the winter morning promised small rain, the kind that got into every orifice, clinging and miserable.

I climbed out of bed naked, and gathered underwear from the bureau. In the closet, I pulled out a blue long sleeved t-shirt and dark jeans. I made my way into the bathroom, and showered, brushed my teeth and towel dried my black hair. The mirrors were steamy, and I rubbed my hand over the condensation. The woman who stared back at me in the mirror, there was something different about her face.

The bitter edge around her mouth seemed to have softened, and her eyes seemed less jaded.

Was this a good thing? Did I want to lose that protective edge that I kept sharpened?

I wandered back into the closet, my fingers running over clothes on their neat hangers. The hangers swayed as I brushed the clothes, making a small grinding nose, like rattling bones.

Enough morning light crept into the closet, so I didn't need to turn the light on. My footsteps were soft thuds as I walked slowly towards the back. I stepped into the darker areas, where some of the light couldn't get to. There were clothes back here that I hadn't worn in a couple of years. There was a zippered white garment bag that I had meant to burn, but hadn't got around to doing it yet.

I knelt down, looking for my favorite pair of slippers. They were these ridiculously huge black fluffy things, Jess had gave them to me for Christmas one year. They always made me smile and she said she knew I would make _that_ face when I opened the box.

_That_ face being my eye- roll-but-I-totally-really-love-them.

When I looked into the seeping darkness, I saw it, like a sleeping shadow, at the very back, pressed against the wall.

My guitar case.

I pulled it out, snapping the locks up on the case. They always jumped that little bit, like they were going to bite my fingers if I wasn't careful. I'd always hated the latches.

I pushed the lid up, and stared at it. The guitar was laid out like a corpse in a casket, its black, glossy finish catching the small amount of light reaching the back of the closet. I touched the red velvet reverently, and I felt like a mother pulling her dead child as I laid it gently in my lap.

My fingers stroked the strings, and I played with chords, tuning it slightly.

Touching notes, the guitar felt _right_ in my hands. I remembered the first time I saw it. My fifteenth birthday. Charlie had bought it for me as a bonding thing between him and me…

"Oh my God, Dad!"

His mustache twitched as he smiled, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners, "Do you like it?"

"Dad! This is so cool!"

He chuckled as I tried to make music come from the acoustic guitar. I plucked at the strings and he winced.

"Give that to your old man, before you snap the strings. I'll show you where the chords are." He gently took the guitar from me. I watched as his face narrowed in concentration, his dark brows knitting together. My eyes widened when he positioned his hands and moved his fingers, a sweet chord pouring from the guitar.

"Wait. You play the guitar? Charlie Swan, Chief of Police, plays the guitar?"

He looked up at me and smiled, "Hey! I'll have you know I was a cool dude back in the day. Why do you think your mom fell in love with me?"

I wrinkled my nose at him, "Um ew?!"

He laughed and settled the guitar on his lap.

"Go on! Play something, Dad."

"Your Grandma taught me this song…"

The guitar wept notes under his deft fingers, and his voice weaved in and out of the chords, as I watched my father transform into someone I had never met.

_Black is the color, of my true love's hair…_

That song was the first song I played for Jake on my guitar.

He'd said he loved it, at the time.

But Jake said a lot of things…

***

_His lips are like, some roses fair…_

***

The diamond on my finger winked in the candlelight, like shattered glass. We'd been engaged for two weeks. I moved the food around on my plate as Jake continued to eat noisily. He reached for more bread, and continued his conversation.

"Baby they would look so much better if you got them done. Money isn't an object."

I pushed a green pea towards my mashed potatoes. I used my fork to shove it into the mountain, smothering it. The soft shell cracked a little, as the tine of the fork prodded it forward.

"I mean, they're alright. But they could be better."

I flinched, every word a lash against me. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to snarl and fly at him, teeth bared, nails out.

But I couldn't. Not Jake. He loved me, and he would never deliberately hurt me. He wanted what was best for us. For me.

***

_He has the sweetest smile, and the gentlest hands…_

***

My body felt strangely numb, but alive at the same time. I opened my eyes, and it was like I was watching everything happen from under a foot of water. It was heavy, I was heavy, weighted.

There was a lump in my throat, and a throb in my chest. His breath was in my ear, his grunt final, as he rolled away from me, withdrawing.

A tear slid from the corner of my eye, over my temple, into my hairline, settling in my ear.

I couldn't move.

Couldn't speak.

He pulled at the sheets and blanket, the rustle of expensive thread count over his skin an odd whisper in the darkness.

When he rolled over onto his side, he took most of the covers with him.

The silence killed me, and I tried to make out the ceiling, tried to orientate myself in the room. Everything was rushing by me so fast, even though the room was still, except for my loud heart, and his quiet snores.

Slowly, I got up from the bed. He was fast asleep, and didn't notice I had left. I stumbled across the room, tripping over a large mound of fabric on the floor.

My wedding dress.

***

_And I love the ground, whereon he stands…_

***

Labor Day weekend. That last hurrah of summer. Pools throw their last big parties, the barbeque gets its last major char, and schools go back.

I had been putting in longer hours at the theater after my promotion. Jake had bought me a small apartment in town, so I wouldn't have to make the drive home all the time.

How convenient.

For him.

Training was in full swing by then, plus some scrimmage games played before the season. His prospects as a big player were finally looking up.

He was the absolute sweetheart of our hometown.

We had been having a lot of problems lately. I put it down to me working all the time. He seemed happier once he'd bought me the apartment. Less frustrated. Less angry.

He seemed _happy_.

Satisfied with life.

I had decided to surprise him this weekend, he would have one day off before the season started. He would be at our home in Forks. I made the four hour drive, excited for the first time about seeing him in a long time.

I pulled into the drive, his bright red Lamborghini in the drive. It was a buttery colored house, the kind I dreamed of when I was a little girl. With white trim and pink blushing roses blooming in the garden.

I had stopped to get stuff to make dinner on the way. I pulled the bags out of my old blue '84 Volvo. It was a rusty heap, but it had that old car smell, and I was loathe to get rid of it. It looked kinda weird next to Jake's shiny toy, but, the old girl had plenty of get up and go, as dad would say.

The front door was unlocked, but that wasn't uncommon in small towns. As I entered, I heard the shower running upstairs. I smiled, figuring Jake was probably not long in before me. I put the groceries away, leaving out the steaks so I could get them ready to go on the barbeque.

I went outside and lit the impressive grill. Jake had bought it last year, and I swear I could lay down in it, shut the lid over, and still have room for a whole turkey.

It seemed a waste, if it was just us, but it made Jake happy.

There was an odd noise from the house, and I turned to go back in, to investigate.

"Jake?" My voice rang out into the silence. My stomach turned over, and I knew something wasn't right.

The shower was still running.

I slowly crept up the stairs, nearly tripping on my baggy jeans.

I knocked on the door, "Jake?"

I could hear someone breathing, and the water hitting the shower door.

I cracked the door open, and the steam rushed at me, the whole room too foggy. It cleared as fresh air rushed in behind me. My eyes adjusted to white tiles and the glass shower enclosure.

I blinked, not really sure I wanted to understand what was in front of me.

My heart pounded in my ears, my throat, my mouth. My body covered in sweat, and I was frozen as time slowed. Each second ticked by too slowly, each one a rusty nail on glass, as my insides shook, and shattered.

My husband, his body, beautifully naked in all his physical glory, wet, deliciously so, water trailing over his washboard abs, over the Native American art tattoo on his bicep, the feathers flexing and bunching as he moved.

There was a blond in front of him, bent over, her hands on the glass in front of her and the sound of their skin meeting, their pants, her loud moaning, keening, piercing in my ears. His grunts were animalistic.

I was rooted to the spot. I wanted to turn away but I couldn't.

Then, it was like something woke up, deep inside me.

I laughed, it bubbled up from somewhere. Then I kinda lost it.

I picked up the small glass ornament that Jake's cousin Emily had bought us as a housewarming gift. It was heavy, and I always swore it was a paperweight. I didn't know where else to put it, and it had somehow ended up in here, as a decoration on the his and hers bathroom sink.

Taking a step back to the counter, I hurled it at the glass, watching it make a large hole in the glass.

"What the fuck?!"

Jake's outraged shout didn't stop me.

I went into the bedroom, and saw their clothes discarded all over the room, the sheets mussed on the beautiful bed I had picked out, hoping to conceive our children in it.

The sight of her small black thong on my side of the bed, made me see red.

I went down the hall, and retrieved a pair of scissors from the den.

"Bella!"

I was sightless, I didn't even see him, just a total red haze.

I went back into the room, stabbing the scissors into the expensive mattress. Coils sprung, groaned, and fluff erupted from the tears I made in the fabric.

A pair of brown hands grabbed my wrists and tried to stop me. I turned on him, rage lending me strength, water making his skin slippery.

"Fucking stop this, right now, Bella," he roared at me.

I didn't care. I bit my lip, I could taste blood. We fought over the scissors, they were dangerously close to him, then to me. He finally bent my wrist, a small crack could be heard, and my hand released. The momentum of his movement didn't stop, and the scissors gouged into my cheek.

I cried out, holding my face.

"Christ, Bella, are you OK?"

I looked at him, and I wanted to gouge his eyes out.

"You don't get to ask if I'm OK! Ever again. We were supposed to be friends. You're my husband. My fucking husband! Mine! Who the fuck are you?" I panted. Staring at him. He had wrapped a towel around his waist, and in that moment, I wanted to kick him in the balls, I was so fucked off.

"Baby, wait."

My eyes widened in rage at him, "Don't you fucking dare call me that anymore. We're done. We're through. I don't even fucking know you."

My cheek was sore, and I wondered vaguely if I would need stitches. Just then, that blonde stumbled into the room, her tits arriving before she did. She had wrapped one of my bath sheets around her, one of my bright red towels. Her blonde hair was piled on top of her head, but it dripped slightly.

She eyed me with disdain, her eyes lingering on the cut on my cheek.

I flew for her, "Bitch I know you're gonna get the fuck out of my house, if I have to throw your skinny, fake-ass out of here, buck naked."

She squealed as I lunged for her, and I caught her hair, pulling out one of her fake extensions.

She stumbled towards the stairs, and I would have pushed her down them, if two arms didn't clamp around my middle, pulling me back.

"Get the fuck off of me, I'm going to tear the rest of her extensions out."

He dragged me back to the bedroom, as I struggled against him.

My heart felt like it was going to explode from my chest, and I turned on him. I went for his eyes, my fingers curled.

All those times he'd made me feel small.

I took a swipe at him and missed.

All those times he'd laughed at me.

This time I went for his hair and pulled hard. He released me.

He hadn't bought me that apartment for me. He'd bought it so he could creep around behind my back.

I heard my knuckles crack as my fist connected with his cheekbone. He was shouting at me now, but I didn't hear him.

All the times he didn't hold me, and made me feel unlovable, made me feel inadequate, when I gave him so much of myself.

I slapped his cheek, open palmed, and the pain on my skin from my hand connecting with his cheek was oddly satisfying.

For every time I told him I loved him, and he didn't love me back.

I tried to knee him in the balls, but he flinched away, my knee grazing his thigh.

He was grabbing for my hands but I continued to try and claw at him.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." It was a litany I repeated over and over in my head, not even realizing that the words were spilling out of my mouth.

It stopped when his hand connected with my cheek, and I fell to the floor. Instinct had me reaching up to the burning flesh, and I was certain he'd left a mark.

"You're fucking crazy," he looked down at me, and then stalked away from me, leaving me on the floor. He gathered up _her_ things and left the room, his bare feet thumping on the stairs.

There was a muted argument between them, and then the front door slammed shut.

I stood panting in the bedroom, blood dripping down my face, my chest heaving. My breathing was loud, my chest was tight, and I could feel myself shaking.

My options were slim, small. The more I stood here, the more I wanted to watch everything around me burn. The air was stiff, and it was getting harder to breathe in the house.

I needed out. I needed to get the fuck out of here, before I did something really crazy, I could feel my mind going to places that I wasn't really sure of.

I went downstairs, and entered the kitchen. Afternoon sunlight filtered through the curtains I had made for the small windows. The cut on my cheek stung, and I realized it was from the tears traveling down my face, the salt soaking into wound. I swiped at them angrily, grabbed my keys and phone from the kitchen table where I had left them, and walked out the front door.

I dialed a number and waited for the call to connect.

"Jess? It's Bella. I need a place to stay…"

***

"Bells, what do you mean you and Jake are getting a divorce?" My father's voice was incredulous.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. This phone call was probably one of the hardest I'd had to make, and I was too much of a coward to do it face to face.

"It's just not working, Dad. We're different people."

At least I was. I saw Jake for what he really was now. I felt warped. I felt changed, like nothing of the old me fit anymore.

I fucking hated myself.

He sighed this time, and I swear I heard him rub his hand over his face, his palm scratching over stubble.

"Why, Bella? What changed? You two were so perfect."

Were we ever, really? Was it all a façade? Was Jake simply going through the motions, because I was something to acquire? My dad loved Jake, loved Jake's dad, Billy. They were like fucking brothers. When Jake had asked me to marry him, you'd think two kingdoms were being merged together.

My masochistic mind chose that moment to show me that moment in the bathroom again. High definition quality images, sounds amplified.

My skin crawled.

"Dad. Jake just wants different things from me, now."

_Understatement of the year. _

"Bella. I don't want this for you. Don't throw it away. Maybe you guys are being hasty."

"No, Dad. It's already filed, and we've agreed to terms. All we have to do is sign the paperwork."

"I'm so disappointed, Bells," he sighed heavily into the phone, "I can't say I'm surprised."

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, you're always spending time at that damn theater. I know you're always at that apartment in Seattle, rather than with your husband."

I gripped the cordless phone so hard, I swear it was going to crack, "Dad. _That_ theater is my career. And you do not get to have an opinion on this. You just fucking don't."

"You might be an adult, but I'm still your father. Don't you dare speak to me that way."

"Typical, Dad. Fucking typical. I suppose you're taking Jake's side? Big fucking surprise there. Ladies and Gentlemen, Charlie Swan. Motherfucking Father of the Year!"

"This is probably why Jake is divorcing you. That smart-ass mouth of yours-"

"Oh, Daddy. If you only fucking knew. _I'm_ divorcing _him_. Me. Because he can't keep his cock in his pants."

"Can you blame him, when you're never there?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you actually for real? Are you on this fucking planet?"

"If your mother could only see you-"

"Don't you fucking dare bring Mom into this. You should be fucking ashamed, Dad. Fuck you. As of this moment, we're done, Dad. I'm dead to you. I was for years anyways, it shouldn't be too hard for you to pretend you don't have a daughter."

I hung up on him. I was so mad, I was shaking, trembling.

"Are you OK?"

I looked over at Jess. She was just in the door from work, her purse falling onto the couch.

I bit my lip, and stubbornly tried to keep the tears in my eyes from running down my face.

"Jesus, Bella. Charlie?"

I nodded, and a small sob escaped.

Jess's face, already filled with concern, winced for me. She closed the distance between us, and pulled me into a hug.

I wasn't really one for hugs, especially these days. But this was Jess. She was the only one taking care of me. Forcing me to go to work, to feed myself. She took me shopping, made me leave the house, and refused to let me withdraw.

Most of all, she made sure I didn't cry by myself.

***

I blinked, my fingers running over the guitar, absently playing notes.

The sun seemed higher in the high, brighter light filtered into the closet.

I stood up, the neck of the guitar still in my hands as I walked barefoot from the dark closet. I moved into the bedroom and walked to the window. Outside, the whole street was covered in freshly fallen virgin snow. The sun wasn't out, but the clouds were fluffy overhead, like a mirror image of the ground below.

God, it was at least a good foot out there.

There was something about the newness of it that made me giddy. I felt excited, like I'd been granted a snow day. There was no way I was making it in today, I wouldn't be able to get out of my driveway.

I squealed in delight, and went downstairs, the guitar trailing behind me.

I called and left a message on the theater voicemail, saying I wouldn't be in, and fired off a quick text explaining I wouldn't make it to Yorkie and Mike.

I opened the front door, the crisp air hitting my face. I smiled, a big fucking goofy grin. The snow was drifted over the front porch, but wasn't right up to the door. Thank fuck I'd gone grocery shopping the other day.

I looked at the house across the street and wondered if Edward was home.

Do vampires build snowmen?

I went back inside, closing the door behind me. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I sent a text to Edward.

**R u home x**

I stared at the screen, willing a quick response.

**Yes. Why? **

I raced upstairs and took off my skinny black jeans. I threw on a pair of leggings, and my sturdiest pair of jeans.

I flung on so many layers and pulled out my thick winter jacket. I found my sturdy boots and stomped them on. I was frenzied, looking for a hat and gloves. I braided my hair so it wouldn't get tangled and then shoved my hat on my head.

I ran down the stairs, nearly falling on my ass at the bottom. Throwing the door open wide, I trudged out in the white marshmallow snow. It was so thick, and I knew my jeans would be soaked by the time I got across the street, but I didn't care. I balled snow up with my gloves and made my way to Edward's front door.

I knocked once then backed up. I knew I probably couldn't outrun him, but I was gonna at least have a small head start.

He opened the door, his red eyes meeting mine. He still took my breath away, and my body reacted instantly to the direct proximity.

Before he could say anything, I raised my arm and hit him square in the chest.

He looked down where the powdery snow had exploded against his slate colored sweater. His chin tilted back up, and he looked me square in the eye.

"You better run, Bella."

* * *

**A/N**

**How do you know a snowman from a snowlady?**

**Snowballs.**

**Omg, I'm sorry, really. Corny jokes make me giggle. **

**So, Jake's a knob end. And Charlie has a ShitFromMouth Disorder. Yes? **

**PS: Big sloppy kisses and I'm-not-worthy thanks to Nitareality who hosted IA as the readalong during the week. thanks for that, doll x**


	16. Chapter 15: Hernani

**A/N**

**Ohai! Sorry about the long wait. For those of you not on twitter or twilighted, my computer had a very nasty virus over the last week. So that's why it's been ages since my last update.**

**SM's Edward liked it, so he put a ring on it. My Edward liked it, so he put his mouth on it.**

**Words cannot even express my adoration for lambcullen, who not only read this chapter the first time when it was all sorts of crappy fail, but also helped me and my sick computer through virus hell. She seriously is the blankie to my Linus.**

**I'm just gonna say it. Out loud. Snshyne is the best fucking prereader I girl could have. If you have ever had the pleasure of her reviews, her epic prereader notes are even better.**

**Songs for this chapter:**  
**Hey Joe: Jimi Hendrix**  
**Protege Moi: Placebo**  
**No Ordinary Love: Sade**  
**Going the Distance: Cake**  
**Behind Blue Eyes: Limp Bizkit (cover)**

**

* * *

**

"Vous me manquez, je suis absente de moi-meme." I miss you, I am estranged from myself.  
Act1, Scene 2, Marie Hernani, by Victor Hugo

EPOV

I held the phone to my ear, knowing if I didn't listen to her now, she would show up on my doorstep to communicate her displeasure.

"I've left you alone because that's the way you wanted it. But nothing will change the fact that you're my brother. You almost killed Emmett when you left. Did you know that?"

"I fail to see how that is my concern."

"Oh my God, Edward," she shrieked, "Are you that unfeeling? He loves you, although I don't know why. Why do you think he came over as soon as he heard you were back in town? Why are you back?"

"That is my business alone, Rose."

"Whatever, Edward. You are so full of your own shit, it's scary. If you hurt Emmett again, I'll tear you apart myself."

"You may try." I smiled. I had forgotten how much fun it was to provoke Rose. I could see her, teeth bared, as she clutched the phone in her hands. She made a strangled sound on the other end, and I hoped she would match the sound with the thoughts I knew she was holding back from vocalizing.

Disappointingly, the line went dead.

Standing in the kitchen, I thought back over what she'd said. She had called with the intention of confirming why I had returned and for how long would I stay. If I was entirely honest with myself, I was still not wholly sure why I was back either.

It was like a gravitational pull, pulling my violent trajectory from its frantic path and into a closer orbit. I had been wandering for so long, the bereft darkness of my fading humanity seeping into the compacted ice and rock that seemed to form my existence.

And like a bullet from a gun suddenly stopped on it's destructive course, I was pulled by some powerful magnet, and I wondered if it had changed my path altogether.

My phone buzzed, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked down to see a message from Bella.

**R u home? x **

I quickly entered a response. This creature, this mortal female, was quickly becoming more to me than a means to satisfaction. I'd had her, tasted her flesh, her blood, her sex, and still, I needed more.

I waited for a response, but did not receive one.

I made my way from where I stood in the study, towards the downstairs. After my confrontation with Rose, I needed a distraction. I turned, upon reaching the foyer and headed towards the piano. I was about to sit when a curious sound reached me, the sound of someone walking through the freshly fallen snow outside.

I went to the window, and saw Bella slowly making her way across the street. The snow was thick, and she was dressed warmly for the occasion. Humans did not normally seek me out, especially in the repeated way that Bella seemed bent on. It was almost as if she did not fully realize the danger she attracted when she was in my company.

She was on my doorstep now, and I heard her before she knocked on the door. I opened it wide at her soft enquiry.

What I was not expecting, was the small ball of ice she hurled at me. It landed with a small puff on my sweater, the ice exploding, as it hit my chest.

I looked at her, unsure. This was not an interaction I was used to.

She paused, her eyes questioning, and she wondered if she had crossed a line.

"You better run, Bella."

Her face broke out in a smile and she giggled, a musical sound that tinkled in the air around us. It started to snow again, and she attempted to run through the thick cover already on the ground. I watched as she made her way towards the back of the house, glancing once over her shoulder to see if I was following.

Although this was only a game for her, the hunter in me snarled, happy to have something to play with. I allowed her to run, giving her enough distance to make it interesting. I walked forward, closing the door behind me.

I followed her, the trail of her footsteps in the snow leading the way.

She was farther away from me, running around the back of the house now. There was a tree line, and I prayed she would clear it, and run into the forest.

I was not disappointed.

***

BPOV

I really need to stop smoking. I mean, I'm in pretty good health, all the kickboxing and shit that I do. But fuck, I'd be able to run faster, which would help at times like this. Maybe I could quit after Christmas.

Like a New Year's Resolution and shit.

I headed into the trees, looking behind me one last time. The way he moved, the way he was looking at me, sent a slight thrill of fear through me. It was the look on his face, it was calculating: analyzing my every move.

It felt like he was hunting me.

***

EPOV

I could hear her breathing, followed the smell of her exertion, and it was slightly tinged with fear.

Good.

My instincts took over, like a predatory cat; stretching, awakened. I wanted to be naked, nothing holding me back. I pulled off my sweater, and picked up my stride into the woods. I tasted the air again, although this was not necessary. I knew exactly where she was. I took off my shoes: my feet would have better traction in the snow. This left me in my ash gray trousers.

I moved forward now, less encumbered by my human pretences.

***

BPOV

The brightness of the snow made the trees look the same. My sense of direction was fucking terrible, and I wondered if I was wandering. I could no longer see the gray sky above me, but the snow continued to fall. Errant flakes would escape the clawing branches over head. They landed in my hair, like tiny feathers.

I struggled onwards, almost afraid to look behind me now. I was waiting for him to catch up, to pull me to him. I wanted to press against him, his lips on mine. It was strangely arousing, knowing he was going to catch up to me at any moment. I could feel my tired limbs shiver in excitement at the thought.

There weren't any noises of his pursuit behind me, and the paranoia of the small sounds around me was making me jumpy.

I kept telling myself this was Edward. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't harm me.

When I was a child, I used to have these nightmares of being chased; I always woke up in a cold sweat. I hated that feeling of something evil chasing me, catching up to me, capturing me.

I was reminded of something my Great Aunt Mary had said once, over her knitting . Mom had gone to visit her in the nursing home when I was little, and had taken me along. She had strong opinions about my father, and never hesitated to tell Mom exactly what was on her mind.

Aunt Mary had looked up from the incessant click click of her knitting needles and yarn, her rheumatic hands gnarled with age. Her thick glasses giving her blue eyes a cartoonish appearance and her silver hair flowed around her. Her lips pursed, and she looked my mother dead in the eye.

_When you hold hands with the devil, expect to be burned. _

***

EPOV

I paused as she did, watching her hide behind a tree.

Again, I would have given much to hear her thoughts.

But the exchange would ruin the game. At times, the silence is what made her so irresistible. I had to think more, rather than reading her thoughts. I had to anticipate what she would do, where she would go.

Finally she started off again, I could tell she was tiring. Her breathing was more labored, and I could smell her sweat.

I stalked closer to her, closing the gap. I measured her steps, the gentle pump of blood through her veins echoing across the smaller distance between us. Venom pooled in my mouth, and my cock strained against the fabric of my pants.

I crouched, waiting.

She tripped, righting herself, and I seized the opportunity. I leaped, hurtling towards her. Involuntarily, a snarl ripped from my throat as she screamed.

***

BPOV

He was so quiet, I didn't hear his approach. I screamed as his legs and arms wrapped around me, I swear I felt his teeth scrape across my neck. I closed my eyes, that odd sucking sensation making my knees feels weak and my body throb.

We rolled, and instinctively I tried to break free from his hold. His strength overpowered me, and I grappled for control. He was making these noises in my ear, low menacing growls. All at once, I was terrified but incredibly turned on. I was aware that my nipples were hard, and my bra rasped uncomfortably against them.

I was confused, as need for him, and the need for self preservation battled inside me.

***

EPOV

We tumbled through the snow, landing in a small drift. I had to have her, a taste, as the hunter in me demanded. Her neck was so warm, and her essence flowed over my tongue. I wanted to savor her, slowly now, and quickly sealed the wound, mindful of my venom.

We continued to roll down a small incline, I took most of the impact, but landed on top of her, pinning her. I sat on top of her hips, and leaned over her, a cruel grin on my face. Bella's eyes were wide with fear, her chest heaved for more oxygen. Her hat had fallen off in the tangle, her jet black hair like a silk rope over the soft white blanket of snow.

I wanted her, in every way imaginable. Greedily, the beast agreed.

I tore at her jacket, shredding it from her body. She feebly tried to struggle, but her strength was like a small breeze against my cheek. Next were the layers of her clothing. They tore like paper in my hands, the snarl of the fabric ripping, matched the low sound building in my chest.

I tore the lace of her bra apart, her ivory skin flawless in the dull light. Snow fell around us, and I watched the tiny crystal fall on her skin, melting instantly. Her dusky pink nipples were budded, and I ached to have one in my mouth, the other rolled and kneaded between my fingers.

She was saying something to me, and in my frenzy to have her, I had not realized what it was she was asking.

She was pleading with me, fear in her eyes. Her cries a melody the beast delighted in.

I looked into her brown eyes, the pupils dilated with fright. I remembered watching them dilate with something else entirely.

I paused, looking down at the torn fabric in my hands.

She trembled beneath me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting for control. I needlessly dragged air into my lungs, in an effort to restore some semblance of humanity inside myself.

When I opened my eyes, I looked down at her, and saw the damage my hands had wrought. I swallowed the venom back, disgusted with myself. Her scent still burned in my throat, and I desperately tried to ignore the pump of blood in the artery at her neck.

I traced a finger over her cheekbone. Her lips were red, and I was reminded of raspberries.

I leaned down to touch those summery fruits with my own wintry cold. The kiss was a penance, and her pliant lips were forgiving. I offered myself to her, something I had never given to anyone, immortal or human. I closed my eyes as she took my lower lip into her mouth, sucking. My hand smoothed down her cheek, holding her delicate jaw.

My posture relaxed, and I settled against her, a knee parting her legs. She let my lip go, gasping, as my cold skin met hers. I turned my head, lowering my mouth to her collarbone. Her skin burned against my lips as I sucked gently. My hand cupped one of her breasts, and I squeezed, kneading. Her hips bucked, her legs parting wider and I moved between them.

I ran my nose along her skin, as she arched her back, offering herself to me. I pressed my hips against hers and she whimpered, pressing back. I found her nipple, sucking the tightened bud into my mouth. The taste of her skin was delectable, and I flicked my tongue over her. Her hands were pulling her gloves off, the wool landing in the snow. Her fingers were in my hair then, her nails scraping against my scalp, as I played with her nipple. I licked, I teased with my teeth, mindful of their razor edge.

I moved to her other breast, and she continued to arch against me, pulling at my hair. Her hands moved, smoothing down my back, the hot skin of her palms over my shoulder blades. I groaned against her nipple, and she whimpered at the noise against her sensitive skin.

I lifted my head and blew against the skin where my mouth had been. I watched it pucker tighter, and goose bumps spread. She was fascinating, her reactions were for me alone, her chest flushed with arousal. I smoothed a hand down her ribs and she shivered.

I shifted between her hips, as I kissed a trail down her stomach, nipping at the skin to watch her jump.

I looked up at her when I reached the waistband of her jeans. She was watching me, her eyes curious, aroused. Her lips were parted as she pulled air in, and then little puffs of steamy air escaped from between them.

My fingers moved quickly over the button and fly of her jeans. I started to slide them down, and realized there was another layer underneath. She lifted her backside so I could get both down, as well as her panties. She gasped as the cold air hit her, biting her lip, trying to keep the noise in. I removed her boots, her socks, and stripped the rest of her clothes off. She lay on the snow, a naked fallen angel, her torn jacket at her back, like tattered wings.

I stared between her legs, her sex a work of art. I ran a finger over her folds and she shivered. I dipped in between them, she was slippery, her heat a burning inferno in contrast to my temperature.

She jerked as I swirled my finger around her clitoris, and I did it again, just to watch the movements of her hips, reacting to my touch. A fine tremor worked through her body, her breasts shivering, her teeth releasing her lip as she let out a soft sound, like the coo of a dove.

I lowered my mouth to her, placing my lips just at the top of her sex. The taste of her was driving me closer to insanity. I had only just tasted her blood, and the taste of her arousal was an aphrodisiac I could not get enough of.

I parted her slightly with my fingers, and my tongue licked, swirled, as she disturbed the quiet forest with her moans.

I placed my mouth fully on her, sucking at her sensitive flesh, rubbing my tongue over her as she made fists in the snow. I watched her face flush as she struggled to move against me. I held her steady, as my tongue flicked over her, moving quicker.

She said my name, it was like a prayer, as I listened to her heart thump loudly. Her taste was stronger, and I knew she would quicken with her orgasm soon. I slid a finger inside her and she inhaled sharply.

I paused.

"Don't stop!"

I withdrew, and then gave her a second finger. She cried out loudly as I moved them inside her. I worked them faster, as my tongue laved over her, sucking her harder as her noises grew louder, more frantic.

She tensed beneath me, her muscles clenching around my fingers, as she said my name again, her hips bucked against me, and her heart skipped once. She came beautifully, a chorus of taste and sound, her beautiful body taut as a harp string, then fluid and graceful as a cloud, as she relaxed again. Her fists unclenched from where they had clawed at the snow, and I lifted my head from her slick pulsing flesh. She moaned when I withdrew my fingers.

I moved up her body, her eyes were closed, and she basked in the afterglow of her orgasm. My cock was unbelievably hard, and I fought the animalistic rage to be inside her.

I fought it. And lost.

I opened the button of my trousers, I was hard, ready, and I slid a hand under one of her thighs, hitching her leg to my waist. She gasped, her eyes opening wide as I nudged at her opening.

"Oh my G-"

I planted my face in her neck and murmured against her artery, "It's Edward."

Her breath broke, as I thrust deep inside her welcoming heat. I paused, listening to her heart accelerate again, and then began to move, whispering in her ear all the things I wanted to do to her, to her body, to her sex.

I wanted more, and I moved faster, feeling like I was running a race, trying to keep up with the self that wanted her for her body, and keeping pace with the beast who wanted her blood.

She gripped me, she was made for me, and I moved faster, my hips meeting hers as she moved in time with me. Her breaths were hot in my ear, as my cock thrust deeper inside her. Her legs wrapped around my hips and her nails scraped over my back.

I shut my eyes as wave after wave of intensity hit me, carrying me away, and I held onto her, my arms wrapped around her. I tried to be mindful of her fragility, as she followed along after, her legs pulling me deeper inside and her arms around my neck.

We lay like that, and I was loathe to move away from her. Her scent burned in my throat, and I concentrated on her heart, listening as it slowly returned to normal. I could feel snow fall gently on my back, and her fingers were absently twirling in my hair.

This tiny human, this little mortal, owned a large part of me. How many more pieces of myself were mine?

***

BPOV

Surreal. Fucking surreal.

If anyone had told me five years ago I would be laying in the middle of the snow, in post coital bliss, with a darkly sexy vampire lying on top of me, I would have asked them where they had bought their crack from.

But now, with the snow slowly numbing my ass cheeks, and him braced over me, still inside me, I didn't ever want to leave. It felt like everything in my life had led up to this moment, to Edward, to the way he made me feel. Even when I thought for a split second, I was going to die, I let go. I let go of all the shit that I had been dragging around with me since Jake had been in my life.

I just didn't care anymore. It was like my brain had been this muscle I had tensed up, grasping for control and now, I had released, let it go.

And it felt fucking amazing.

He stirred, and I pressed myself against his muscled chest, closing my eyes at the sensation of my skin against him. I didn't want him to move away from me. His lips pressed against my neck to my chin, and then against my lips.

His red eyes met mine and against my lips, he spoke, "As much as I would prefer not to move, I believe hyperthermia would be counterproductive to our…activities. Perhaps we should go indoors?"

"Ok," I agreed.

He helped me to dress, my body limp as overcooked pasta. When my boots were on, my jeans zipped, I pulled my coat over my chest, blushing. I felt slightly wary of him again, and the silence stretched between us. I tried to clutch my jacket closed tighter.

We were standing now, and he lifted my chin with his finger. When my eyes met his, he smirked slightly, his mouth turning up at one corner and I melted slightly.

"I'd say I'm sorry, for that," his eyes flew to where my fists clenched at my torn jacket, "But I'm not. I'll replace it, if you want. It seems I have a bad habit of tearing your clothing."

I felt myself flush deeper under his gaze, "It's um..it's ok. I can buy another jacket."

"Very well." We started to walk back, his naked chest drawing my eyes. I nearly tripped, not watching where I was going.

His arms caught me, and his eyes regarded me. I flushed again knowing he'd caught me staring.

"This would be quicker if you allowed me to carry you."

Before I could agree, he had me in his arms. We were moving again, way too fast, and I closed my eyes, turning my chin away from the trees zooming at us, past us, at an alarming speed.

We arrived at the front door of my house, and he managed to open the door and carry me over the threshold without jostling me too much. I heard my phone beep from the kitchen, a message waiting to be read.

Edward seemed reluctant to set me down and I held onto him as he carried me through the workout room and upstairs. I realized my teeth were chattering, and I felt cold all over. He looked down at me, concerned.

His feet touched the stairs, and I blinked, as he moved too fast again. We headed straight towards the bathroom, at the end of the hall. Once inside, he set me on my feet, and started pulling at my clothes again. There was enough dull gray light coming in from the wispy white curtains that I didn't need to flick the light on as Edward undressed me.

My boots were off, my jeans and leggings dragged down again. My panties were in my coat pocket, with my destroyed bra. I peeled my jacket off, trying to help. My fingers were red, shaking. While I stood there, he turned the taps on for the large Jacuzzi bath. I watched as it filled, steam rising from the water surface. The jets remained off, and the water level slowly rose. There was room enough for a baseball team in that tub, I remember it had been on the brochure as one of the selling features of the house.

This was the first time I had ever used it.

"Get in, Bella," his liquid voice moved over me, and I tried to will my stiffened muscles to move, but I was too tense, too cold. His eyebrows drew together and he stepped towards me, his cold hands touching my naked skin, lifting me.

He placed me in the bath, and I hissed as the hot water touched my cold skin. It was painful, like a thousand needles stabbing me.

I barely noticed the soft thud of his pants as they hit the bathroom floor or the sound of the water being turned off as he turned the tap again.

Water sloshed in the tub as he joined me. He sat across from me, watching me struggle, as my body attempted to regulate my temperature.

After a while, I thawed, and my teeth stopped chattering. I could feel my muscles relaxing, and my eyes were able to focus on his pale face across from me.

"Better?"

I nodded.

"Good."

I studied him, as he sat across from me. His legs were slightly bent, his knee just out of the water, and he rested his wrist against it. The hair on his chest was flattened from the water, the planes of muscles relaxed, and my fingers flexed involuntarily, wanting to touch him. I moved closer to him, hoping I wasn't invading his space.

Involuntarily, I reached my hand out to touch the side of his angular jaw, but snatched it back.

His eyes followed the action, and narrowed when I pulled my hand back.

"What?"

"Can I," I licked my lips nervously, "Can I touch you?"

Rather than answer, he reached for my hand. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, his thumb caressing the veins on the underside.

He moved my hand up to his face, and placed my fingers on his cheek.

"Touch me, Bella. Everywhere."

I closed my eyes, those words sinking into me, they echoed over my body, and I wanted nothing more than to do as he asked. I opened my eyes to meet his, they were waiting.

I moved my hands along the smooth skin of his jaw, over the hard angular bone that fascinated me. I moved up, my fingernail running into the hair of his short sideburn, and traced along his hairline and down to his eyebrows. I shifted closer to him, and he remained still under my exploration.

The tip of my finger drew a line down his nose, and he closed his eyes, his long lashes resting on his cheek. I scooted closer to him, I was kneeling between his legs now, the water line hovering around us. I touched his lips, they were perfect, and I licked mine again, remembering how they felt on mine.

I jumped when his eyes suddenly opened and his teeth latched onto my finger.

His tongue licked at the digit in his mouth, I watched, mesmerized, as he sucked my finger. Water trickled as his hand moved, his large hand holding my wrist again and he moved the finger from his mouth. He kissed the skin between my hand and my thumb, and I felt my skin flush, my breasts felt heavy. I was aware of the water line on my skin, and the heat that had nothing to do with the water temperature building inside me, again.

He was kissing my wrist now, inhaling, before moving down to the crease at my elbow where he nipped lightly.

My other hand moved between us, and I touched his collarbone. He paused at my arm, his eyes on me as I moved my hand over his heart. There was only silence though, no pulse.

I should be freaked out by that. I should be.

But I wasn't.

I traced over his pectoral muscles, the fine dusting of hair on his chest fascinating me. I laid my hand flat on his chest and my thumb moved over his nipple, so masculine, so different from my own. He licked the inside bend of my arm at the same time, and both of us moaned in unison.

I moved lower, the ridges of his abdomen asked for my touch beneath the water. My fingers were drawn to them, and I stroked down the crease in the middle. I could see my arm moving slowly under the water, my black fingernail running into the trail of hair that led enticingly towards the erection that strained towards me.

I remember in college, seeing pictures of Michelangelo's David. He was beautiful, but in a cliché sort of way. In my textbook, on the following page, there had been a statue which I hadn't been able to tear my eyes from. It was this marble statue of a dying Achilles. He sat, a marvel of carved stone beauty, but there was a vulnerability in his perfection that made him touchable.

Edward in the water looked oddly vulnerable, almost human. If it weren't for his bright eyes, like a red burning flame, I would have said the same about him. But those eyes, they knew me, knew me in ways no one else ever had. I watched again as he kissed my arm, then pulled me closer to him.

Whatever this pull he had on me was, it was changing me. For good, for bad, I didn't care.

I came to him, the water rippling around us.

His lips met mine, and he kissed me deeply. I angled my head and his tongue caressed mine until I was pressing against him, needing more.

His fingers touched me between us, and I gasped against his lips.

"I cannot resist you."

His hands moved to my hips, he lifted me, and my hands flew to his shoulders. The head of his arousal entered me, and I whimpered as I felt him fill me.

I straddled his hips, and moved myself up, then slowly grinding down. Both of us groaned again, his teeth clenched.

My bathroom floor turned into a lake as I rode him, he was deeper inside me every time I plunged down, again and again. The water crashed out onto the floor, as his hands found my hips, finding rhythm, as we found rhythm together.

His hand reached between us again, and he stroked my clit until I fell apart, collapsing on his chest. He snarled his release in my ear, and I lay panting on top of him.

Time passed, and my skin puckered slowly in the lukewarm water, but I didn't fucking care.

I just wanted to be with him, like this, as long as he would allow it.

***

BPOV

Opening night.

Cigarette on the dresser.

Shower.

Smoke Naked.

Braid hair.

Get dressed.

I was in the middle of pulling my boots on when my phone went off. I checked the incoming message.

**BELLA! YORKIE IS VIOLENTLY ILL, NONE OF THE OTHER CREW KNOW THE LIGHTING CUES.**

Oh shit. Not opening night, this was an omen, well, at least, Mike was taking it that way. I could practically here him hyperventilating from here.

Motherfucker.

I dialed his number before he fainted.

"Mike-"

"Christ, Bella. What the fuck are we gonna do?"

"Mike-"

"Yorkie has them mapped out, but Peter is with Charlotte and the baby, so he can't come in. James is still in the hospital, God knows when he'll wake up-"

"Mike will you shut the fuck up? I'll do the lights."

"But you-"

"Mike, for Christ's sake, get it together. I need you to pull your panties out of your ass and stay focused. _You_ will do the backstage, I'll take care of the rest."

"Ok," He huffed. I swear it sounded like a muffled sob, "Ok, you're right. I'll start lacing things together here."

***

By the time I arrived, Mike had everything under control. This is why I couldn't can his ass, as much as he annoyed the shit out of me on a good day, he was good at what he did.

I conversed with him briefly, hoping to not stir him into a panic when I left the backstage area. He was giving me those Mommy-don't-leave-me toddler eyes.

"Where's Marcus?" I asked him.

"In the wings somewhere."

I nodded, scanning the backstage area, looking for his tall frame, "Right. Pre-show meeting on-stage, ten minutes. Can you let everyone know?"

"Will do, Bella," he smiled and pulled the mic for his headset down.

I turned away from him and found Marcus standing motionless backstage. His eyes met mine, the miniscule red light from the exit sign fell upon him, and he looked eerie under the glow. For a brief moment, I thought his eyes looked red, but I tucked it away, I was seeing things, spending so much time with Edward.

Edward's mouth on my neck.

Edward's fingers tracing over my ribs.

The sound of his growl in my ear as he came inside me.

"Bella? Are you all right?" The deep timber of Marcus voice reached me through my reverie.

"Um yeah," I spluttered, trying to bring myself back to the present, "I'm good. I guess you know Mike is about to lose it back here."

His mouth twitched in the makings of a smile.

"Keep an eye on things, for me. Will you?"

He nodded his ascent, just as I sneezed.

"Pardon me. It must be the dust back here." I could feel myself blushing, it always embarrassed me to sneeze. Jake had always laughed at me when I sneezed, he said it was funny because I would build up to it, like it was going to be some loud unladylike thing. Then it would be just this small sound, like a kitten meowing.

I made a quick exit towards the locker room, to grab my headset and clipboard. The dreary room was quiet and I took a moment to try and not panic. I couldn't believe I was taking the helm, it felt odd. It was good to be in charge of backstage, that was my place, but to be totally in charge, kinda freaked me out.

I guess knowing it would piss James off to high heaven knowing I was taking his place in this, was one of the perks.

I sneezed again.

_Where the fuck was this coming from?_

Mike had gathered everyone on stage, and they stood there, waiting.

I walked to stand next to Mike and Angela, who smiled at me from behind her glasses.

"Ok, people. So I may not be the sex machine that Jamesy is, but here we are, opening night. I'm not going to quote any bullshit, or go on at you about things you already know how to do. I know we're doing things a little different this opening night. We're a good team, don't let superstitions keep you from giving a good performance tonight. Party at New-" I sneezed again.

_Mother of Fuck, what the hell!?_

I cleared my throat, "Sorry. Party at Newton's afterwards. Let's have a good opening night. Bring it in!"

We did some stupid go team thing, but everyone seemed happy enough, and nobody yawned.

I made my way towards the twisting staircase that led up to lighting booth. It was dark, and I was alone as I walked up the small metal steps. My footsteps made an odd eerie sound and I pulled out my backstage flashlight for better light. There was an odd whisper of sound, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up, as if someone was watching me.

I shook it off as I got to the top of the stairs, and acclimated myself again to the lighting board. It was huge, with dials, switches, and buttons. The whole thing linked into a laptop for programming specific lights to go on at certain intervals. Each grouping of lights was designed and colored to provide a mood to each scene.

I sat back, the booth overlooked the stage and watched as people filed in. I closed the windows and shut the doors. You weren't supposed to smoke up here, but that didn't stop Yorkie. There was a slight tang of pot up here, and I knew he kept an ashtray hidden under the desk.

I lit up, leaned back in the chair and watched the house slowly fill with people.

It was really cold up here, and I could feel myself start to shiver.

I switched the mic on.

"Mike, you ok down there?"

"Um yeah, Bella. Everyone is ready to go."

"Excellent. Hey, can you make sure the AC is not switched on for the lighting booth? I'm freezing my ass off up here."

"Sure thing, Bella. I've got your coffee down here, I'll get one of the guys to run it up to you."

"God fucking bless you, Mike." I sneezed into the mic again.

He chuckled, "Bless you, too, Bella."

I made sure the computer was ready to run its program, and I flicked the house lights, indicating the show would start soon. There was a knock at the door and I called over my shoulder.

"Come in!"

It was Ben, holding my coffee cup. I thanked him, and he shut the door behind him, his steps fading down the narrow staircase outside.

It was such a rush, seeing the stage from this vantage point, watching it from so high up. I watched the play, enjoyed it, even though I had to pay close attention to the lights. It was all very gothic and dark, and I was really glad we had chosen Sleeping Beauty for our Christmas show.

The lights went up and down, and I listened to the quiet goings on backstage through Mike's mic. Mike was a natural with the crew, and he kept things going.

The computer did most of the work for me, I just had to follow along with the lines to make sure it didn't go too quickly and the lighting cues didn't fall behind or ahead of the actors or music.

Usually, it could be really warm in this booth, but I was still frozen. I pulled the sleeves of my long sleeve t-shirt over my hands, my fingers felt like ice.

Mike's voice startled me, "Bella, are you ok up there? I can hear your teeth chattering into the mic."

"I'm ok, just really cold up here. Are you sure the AC isn't on?"

"Yeah, but I'll check it again."

It was quiet while he checked the board next to him backstage.

"Nope, it's not on. You want me to get someone to run up with your coat?"

"No, I'll be fine. The lights will warm it up in here anyways."

By the time it was the second act, I felt fucking awful, and was starting to suspect I had caught something. It must have been playing in the snow with Edward.

Great, that's all I needed was to be sick. Mike would have an apoplectic fit.

The show finally ended, and I was barely holding it together. I just wanted to go home, and huddle in my bed.

I stumbled down the staircase, thankful I had taken the Mustang tonight rather than the bike. It was still ice and slush on the sidewalk, but the roads had been plowed. I bumped into Mike on my way out.

"Dude, I got some stuff to do at home, so I'm not gonna make it tonight. Make sure you guys drink my share. You did good tonight."

He smiled at me, "Will do, Bella. You look really pale. Are you ok?"

I nodded and attempted a smile, "Yeah I'm cool. Just tired."

I lit a cigarette as I stepped outside and quietly made my way to the Mustang.

I shut the door, shoved the key in the ignition and turned the heaters up full blast. I waited, giving the car a moment or two to warm up before I backed out, and made my way over the icy roads.

When I pulled into the garage, I was almost convulsing with shivers, and I wanted to change out of my jeans into sweats and a hoodie. I walked into the house, somehow making my way upstairs. I was racked with shivers, and my whole body felt taut as a string. I somehow managed to pull my boots and jeans off, and put on the warmest Pjs I had. Grabbing my phone from my discarded jeans pocket, I stumbled through the dark into bed. Curling into a tense ball, I wrapped myself in the covers, pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head, and lay shaking underneath the covers.

* * *

**A/N**

**Gesundheit.**

**I owe KStew411 a lot. Never in a million years did I think she would include Incubus Anomaly in her weekly recs at AmberRMW's blog, RobMyWorld, seeing as she had already reviewed my other fic, The Rain Season. Thank you so much for that, doll. (Link to review is on my profile, and later to the blog, if you're curious. Go and have a peek at her rec's, there are some pretty good ones over there.)**

**ALSO! PetitBiel made a video for IA! I am totally floored. Link on my profile. It was so hot, and I think she's captured the feeling of this story perfectly. Please go and watch, don't forget to leave her some love. (PS, you REALLY need to watch her Rob vids. AMAZING.)**

**Lastly. I need to ask you a favor. A big one. My one shot, Bad Penny, is in the Fun With Your Clothes On contest. Link below and on my profile. Please vote for me? Pretty please? With angsty goodness on top?**

**http://www . fanfiction . net/u/2291087/FunWithYourClothesOn**

**(just delete the spaces) **

**danke schoen. **


	17. Chapter 16: Gypsy

**SM owns all the Twilight stuff, and put a good head on Edward's shoulders. I gave Edward good head...oh...nevermind.**

**NGL, Lambcullen is the best ficwife ever. She makes my words all pretty, and spanks me when I'm naughty.**

**Snshyne kindly preread this while at the airport. That's bloody dedication. I heart her lots for her LOL comments and observations.**

**Music, of course:**  
**With or Without You: U2**  
**Closer: Kings of Leon**  
**Hush, Hush, Hush: Paula Cole**  
**Tell Me Now: Mazzy Star**  
**Down In Mexico: The Coasters**_  
_

* * *

'_You'll never get away from me, you can climb the tallest tree, I'll be there somehow…Just try, and you're gonna see, how you're gonna not at all get away from me.'_  
From _You'll Never Get Away From Me_, Act 1 of Gypsy, A Musical Fable. Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

EPOV

The day had streamed unwelcome sunlight, and the light produced rising temperatures, melting the snow into slush. I spent the majority of the day going through various business transactions and once they were finished, I found my mind circling back to Bella.

I remember decades ago, sitting in a biochemistry class at University. I watched as a boy sat in the chair next to mine; the lecture hall slowly filling. I watched the human pull out a piece of fruit from his bag and shined it on the denim fabric covering his thigh. He then took a rather loud bite out of the fruit, the juice dribbling down his chin. It was an apple, and I stared out of the corner of my eye, its red skin breaking, pulling apart, as the young man gnashed at it, crunching on the sweet smelling pulp inside.

It was wholly unappetizing.

However, it was apparent from his mind, that it was one of his favorite fruits. Perhaps, even, the best apple he had ever tasted. His thoughts processed the perfect combination of tartness, sweetness, crispness of that specific apple. Even the sweet taste of the skin, the easy way it broke under his teeth, the juice a perfect and rewarding contrast to the texture of the sour pulp.

All in all, he decided it was delicious. No apple would ever taste that good, or as good. Ever again.

I reflected back on those thoughts, which had amused me, in their naively mortal simplicity.

But perhaps, I truly understood that moment in that boy's mind.

Could I eternally eat of the same fruit, the same tree. Was there none that would tempt me again, would I be happy to taste only that taste for the rest of my existence?

Humans, were, after all, inconveniently susceptible to age, elements, disease, their own lack of intelligence.

I found myself waiting for her, needing to be near her. I sat in the corner of her room, watching her come in from work, change, and shiver under the blankets, as I pondered my motivation for seeing her this evening.

And here is where I hit the proverbial brick wall, where there is a reality in the closeness, the exclusivity of choosing one pet, one human to have.

Mortal illness.

Yes, I had killed, for my own greed, and felt those final moments of fragility trickle down my throat, easing my own burden.

Immortality afforded a certain security in this regard: influenza, disease.

The trade off being a constant thirst, an ache, a burn to obtain that, which constantly damns me.

My part in her illness was obvious to me, and I felt an odd sense of guilt in knowing I had caused her harm. Upon thinking this, the beast laughed at me, hysterically, mockingly.

Was she more than a means to satisfactory end?

Yes.

Yes, I could admit that to myself. I needed her, needed to touch her, taste her. The burn, the ache, it was not going away.

If anything, it was worse.

The touch of her burning skin against my hands, listening, watching, feeling, tasting every reaction; all of these sensations seemed new to me, but it was only because it was with her.

Only with her.

There were things inside me that were regenerating, rebirthing, reinventing. This mortal held the renaissance of my own humanity in her small, warm fingers.

The hours that I was not with her were beginning to grow tiresome and tedious. There was no relief until she was under me, over me, our bodies moving, seeking, racing. Her taste a small teasing trickle, as I held back the darker desire to kill her.

After all, if I drank the chalice dry, would it be a matter of moving on to the next quarry? Or after this particular game, if it ended, would other prey hold the same titillating fascination?

I made the decision, and my body reacted, as I moved forwards, towards her quaking form on the bed.

"Bella?"

She continued to shiver, her trembling shaking the bed. I pulled the covers back, exposing her, and she shrunk away from me, trying to burrow deep under the blankets.

"E-Edw-ward. I-I'm n-n-not feeling -t-t-too great." Her voice was muffled, as she tucked her head closer to her body, exposing the back of her neck.

I resisted the urge to touch her there, where her warm skin was delicate, and her body vulnerable, "How long have you felt this way?"

"It s-s-tarted this even-evening, when I w-was at w-work." She turned her head so she could look at me as she spoke, "I think I c-caught something fr-from when we-from w-when you-fr-from the snow."

I gave in finally, and brushed my hand over the skin of her cheek. Her skin was hot; I judged her at slightly over one hundred and one.

"Bella, you are running a fever. Have you taken anything for it?"

"N-no."

I moved quickly, and was in her bathroom, going through her medicine cabinet. There were some questionable prescriptions in there, but I had not detected them in her blood stream. Some of them looked old, and one was eighteen months out of date.

I pulled out a bottle of Tylenol, and filled a small cup I found on her counter with water.

Back beside her in a matter of seconds, I urged her to take the pills as well as the water. She shuddered afterwards.

"I hate t-taking pills," she muttered, before burrowing again under the blankets. My hand rested on the sheets, and her small, warm hand snuck out from beneath the covers. It searched for a second, before finding my hand. Her fingers intertwined with mine.

I stayed like that, watching the vein in her hand pulse with her heartbeat.

I stayed until her breathing evened out and she was asleep. Restlessly, but asleep.

=IA=

BPOV

I rolled over, bright midday sunlight burned through the curtains. I was covered in sweat, so hopefully that meant that my fever had broken.

I felt so weak, so shitty. My brain randomly registered that my hand was empty, and I vaguely recalled Edward in here. I sat up, looking around the room, but it was empty.

"Edward?"

But the quiet in the house only answered me back.

I made sure my phone alarm was set to wake me up later this afternoon, and went back to sleep.

=IA=

BPOV

I dragged myself into work, knowing if I didn't, Mike would have a litter of kittens right in the middle of the backstage.

I passed Marcus on the way in, he was at my spot, outside, dragging on a cigarette. Giving me his cursory nod as I walked in. I was really fucking grumpy from being sick, it put me in a bad fucking mood. The worst part was, I was too unwell and grouchy to even think of something smart-ass to say to him on my way in. So I attempted a stinkeye, which he probably couldn't see, because my eyes were so puffy from lack of sleep, illness, swollen sinus, glands, and fucking everything.

I could barely talk at the team meeting, my throat was so sore. Victoria piped up with an update about James. She shared that he had woken up, but his memory was shady over what exactly had happened to him. He would be back at some point before Christmas.

There was this awkward pause while she stood there, a big fucking grin on her face, waiting for everyone to clap or some shit.

No one celebrated that. The news went down like a lead balloon, actually.

Afterwards, I crawled up to the lighting booth, that eerie feeling like someone was watching me in the darker corners of the theater tingling at the back of my neck again. It was gone once I'd locked myself in the booth.

So I sat there, fucking freezing my ass off, again, while the show played on before me. I could barely pay attention to it, my joints fucking ached.

I couldn't even enjoy a fucking cigarette, cause it would only make my throat worse, and my lungs were already full of phlegm.

I felt like shit after attempting one this afternoon, when I eventually got my ass out of bed. I'd had a flash of memory, of Edward talking to me, but I don't remember what was said. I hoped I hadn't grumped at him. I tried to remember anything about Edward's visit, but all I could remember was him sitting on the bed. I pulled my phone out, and sent him a quick text between lighting exchanges.

**Hey. Im theater now but Ill be home in a couple of hours. Sorry abt last nite. x**

I must have stared at my phone through most of the second act, waiting for it to light up.

I didn't get a response.

When the play finished, I snuck out, avoiding everyone, and made my way home. Edward had still not texted me back. I huddled under the blankets in the bedroom again, and was just drifting to sleep when the door bell rang.

I groaned.

I got up, my body protesting, as chills shuddered through me. At this point, all I wanted to do was die quickly from the peace of my own bed. Trying to walk down the stairs without falling on my ass was a feat in itself, and I was exhausted when I made it to the bottom.

I unlocked and opened the door, and he stood there, looking fucking magnificent as usual. White collared shirt, jeans, sex hair all mussed and begging for my fingers. Meanwhile, I quickly looked down to confirm what I was wearing: Spongebob pajama pants and an old Misfits hoodie, complete with dorky Homer J slippers.

But Edward, he doesn't care. He doesn't give a fuck that I'm running a fever, that I'm ill. He grabs for me, his icy fingers making me melt. And even through the aching, I know I'm aching for him in other ways.

The door closes behind us, his lips are on mine. I can't fight him, I don't even want to. I just respond, caught up, in him, his touch, his mouth on my throat, his fingers lingering on my spine, stroking. I can feel goose bumps shiver over my skin, and my panties are wet, and I don't care, I just want.

Just as I'm weakly willing to let him do just about whatever he wants to me, a little voice inside me speaks up. That little voice, annoyingly squeaks about self preservation, and a tiny tendril of fragile protest curls like smoke around us. I break the kiss, and he surprisingly allows it. His fingers caress my jaw.

"Edward. I'm really sick. I'm so weak, I don't know if this is a good idea," I nervously ran a hand through my hair, "I feel really fragile."

He sighs, and my head reels as his breath washes over me. I phase out for moment, his wonderful heady scent making the room fuzzy around us.

His lips move as he speaks, and I struggle to pay attention to his words, "To me, your weakness is your humanity, your beautiful fragility. I need you." He touched my face, then down my neck. I could feel my breasts heavy, my nipples tightening at his light touches. He was speaking again, and I tried to listen to him, "Tell me no, now, and I'm gone before you can blink."

I blink, looking into his dark eyes. The last thing I wanted was to be left alone.

My voice breaks as I whisper the words, "Don't go."

He was hungry for me, hungry to touch me. He did, everywhere, his hands running over my fevered skin. I tried to stay with him, keep pace, but I really did feel awful.

Still, he somehow managed to have me naked, his fingers tracing blue veins, his eyes ravenous.

Just as usual, I fell apart in his arms, and his teeth caressed my neck. I closed my eyes, the familiar pull as he opened my flesh.

The only way to describe it, was like getting a tattoo. There was always a slight sting, but after awhile that went away. There was only sensation then, a vibration moving over my skin, which translated itself into my nerve endings. It sent pleasure/pain messages to my brain, then down, to my fingertips that tingled over his naked shoulders. It sent tiny currents to my nipples, pressed against his chest, to my legs, wrapped around his hips as he moved inside me.

My body surrendered, my warmth welcomed him, as he filled me, again and again. Marking me with his mouth, making me his.

=IA=

EPOV

This was incredibly wrong.

Every instinct in my body told me that this, right here, was not where I was meant to be.

This beauty, spread out before me, ready and ripe to be picked, naked as God had intended her to be, was not for me.

She was wet, ready, and I had not even touched her yet. Her scent filled the air around us, her sex, her blood.

I was not. I did not want this, wanted no part of it, I was ruined, and this infuriated me. I was frustrated that the joys of feeling my true potential, not as a monster, but as a purveyor of human flesh, had been taken away from me. Yes, these created routines and order were now stolen by a small slip of a woman with raven black hair, dark brown eyes, and the most intoxicating taste I had ever had in over a century of sampling.

I left the wanton sleeping beauty before me, unable to give her my own personal signature kiss. I had to be far away from her, she disgusted me.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, I found myself outside of the theater, I knew the times Bella had been home, and knew she would be leaving soon. No sooner had I arrived, she walked out, wrapped in her dark leather jacket. She still wasn't smoking, and her skin looked pale, drawn.

"Bella."

She jumped, letting out a small shriek, and I was at her side in an instant.

"It's only me." I turned her face to see it in the lamplight, and hissed. There were dark circles under her lovely eyes, and a fine sheen of sweat on her face. Her skin was too warm, and her eyes looked bleary.

She blinked, slowly, her eyes trying to focus on me. "Edward?"

"You are still unwell," I realized I was speaking through my teeth, and attempted to calm down, "Why are you here?" I could still hear the frustration in my voice.

Her brown eyes widened, and I could see her rallying herself to my tone. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she opened her mouth to speak, "Some of us humans have to support ourselves. It must be great never getting sick, Mr Va-"

My hand was over her mouth in an instant, and I leaned my face down, until our eyes were on the same level, "Careful."

Her smell, so close now, even in her weakened state, whispered to me from every pore. I watched as her eyes fell shut, and she quickly opened them back up again. She was exhausted. I removed my hand from her mouth.

"Where are your keys?" I growled.

She held them up, "In my hand."

I swiped them from her grasp.

"Hey-"

"Where are you parked?"

"Around the corner near the alley. I can drive myself y'know-"

I turned back to her and she ran into me. I steadied her as her breath came out in small gasps. She wavered, and I could hear the air wheezing out of her lungs.

I squeezed her upper arms, "You are not driving in this condition."

"I can drive in whatever condition I fucking want to, Edward," she put as much strength as she could in her voice, but I knew she was flagging.

"You will not risk yourself."

She tried to yank her hand from mine, but I would not allow it. I could tell the action cost her energy that she did not have. She was growing paler by the moment.

"Risk myself for what?" She tried to pull herself from my grasp again, "Hungry, are we?"

We were between the streetlamps, a purple darkness between the strange orange light. In an instant, I had her pressed between me and the wall, her warm body heat radiating through her clothes. She shivered as my hand found its way under her jacket, inside her t-shirt and against her feverish skin.

"Bella, I am designed to kill you, and hunger is just the tip," I licked her lower lip, then kissed the corner of her mouth. She trembled with something more than fever or cold. "Together, we are more than just basic needs fulfilled. We are well past that." My hand caressed her side, cupped her breast, squeezing over her bra. Her body responded to my touch, arching towards me.

In her ear, I said lowly, for her alone, "You are more than necessity to me, Bella. You are mine."

Softly she answered, her voice a small whisper, "I don't want to be owned, Edward."

I kissed over the delicate bone of her jaw, back to her lips.

"It's not ownership, Bella. It's possession. It works both ways."

She closed her eyes, swallowing. She was quiet, and I slowly pulled my hand out from underneath her clothing. I stepped away from her.

"Look at me," I patiently waited for her to open her eyes, when she did, I took her chin in my hand, "We will speak more on this later, for now, you need to be home, in bed."

I could feel her cheeks flush as I said in bed, and I guessed she assumed I would expect more of her there, in her bed. I smiled darkly at her, "No. To rest, Bella."

I walked her to the car, unlocking and opening the door for her first, then shutting it behind her, as she pulled her seatbelt on.

I joined her, keys in the ignition, and the growling motor of her Mustang vibrating the metal around us.

We drove quietly, and she fell asleep on the seat. She didn't wake when the car jostled up the driveway, nor when the garage door opened and shut. I got out, lifting her from the car. She weakly put her arms around my neck.

I set her down on the couch, and she curled up, shivering. I pulled the throws she had over the back of the couch over her, and regarded her small form, wondering if that would be enough. She continued to shiver, and I turned to the fireplace, managing to figure out how to turn the gas fire into a warm glow.

I sat in the chair near the couch, reluctant to leave her. I listened in fascination as she snored softly, her illness causing the noise.

She turned then, and promptly fell off the couch, her head narrowly missing the edge of the coffee table.

She was still asleep though, curled in a cocoon of blankets.

The fault for her illness was mine, and I did not wish to break her, harm her, cause her distress of any kind.

I knelt over her, touching a dark strand of her hair. I picked her up, my arms around her and laid her back on the couch.

"Edward…" she murmured, softly and I stilled. Her eyes fluttered, and I knew she must be dreaming.

Unsure of how to proceed, I tentatively laid down next to her, her warmth, her smell made my throat burn. I pulled her to me and watched the pulse at her neck work, as her lungs expanded and contracted. Everything was in sync, her beautiful rhythms weaving around me.

Her heart fluttering, like a fragile butterfly in my hands, and I knew, at any moment, I could crush her.

I could, but I wouldn't. I was tied to her in ways I didn't understand, but I was bound, just as Marcus had seen in his own gifted way.

I traced her features and in sleep, she struggled to be closer to me, pressing herself against me.

I sighed, holding her, pulling her close to me. The burn in my throat ached, and the beast laughed at me.

=IA=

BPOV

I lay on the couch, dozing in the afternoon sun. I thought I heard a knock on the door, but I was halfway in dreamland, and didn't know if it was real.

"Bella Marie! I know you're in there!"

_Pound! Pound! Pound__!_

I rolled over, falling off of the couch, landing on my ass on the floor. I was tangled in the throw blankets and wondered how I'd gotten here.

Edward.

Looking around, I didn't see him, and assumed he was gone, like he always was in the morning. I rubbed my face, I felt numb, my head still stuffed up.

_Pound! Pound! Pound!_

"Bella, there is no resisting. We do this every year. Get your butt to the door!"

"For fuck's sake," I muttered.

I scrambled up, nearly tripping over the coffee table. Walking to the door, my footsteps were heavy, my feet freezing on the tile. I vaguely recalled pulling my boots and jacket off while I was half asleep in the middle of the night. Jess continued to pound away at the door, and I nonchalantly grabbed my hoodie and took my time pulling it on and zipping it up. Finally, I unlocked the door and yanked it open.

Jessica stood there, hat and scarf and fucking huge smile, like she'd wandered out of an Old Navy commercial. If she was anymore All-American girl, I was going to puke.

"Oooo, you don't look so good, honey," she observed.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious." I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up.

"Oh my, we're sick, aren't we? Is this one of the famous Bella wallow-a-thons?"

I stepped back to allow her to come inside, "Would you look at that," I looked down at my wrist, where I never wore a watch, "It's ten minutes after Fuck You o'clock."

Jess snorted, picked up a large cardboard box at her feet, and shoved me out of the way. I pulled a tissue out of my hoodie pocket and blew my nose.

I plopped back down on the couch as Jessica moved around the house. She disappeared into the kitchen, setting stuff on the counter. I heard the basement door open, and I hoped she wasn't doing what I thought she was doing. Every fucking year she made me do this.

As she brought up the Christmas decorations from the basement, I groaned. She threw me a dirty look.

Jess got to work setting up my fake Christmas tree, and unpacked all of the ornaments, laying them out on the coffee table.

"It's not close enough to the fireplace," I muttered. I knew if it was just an inch closer, I would never have to go through this shit again. I imagined dancing naked around a pagan sacrifice of my very flammable Christmas tree.

Nah, she would just buy me another fucking tree.

Turning her head to look at me over her shoulder, she laughed at me, and went back to fluffing out branches. "Honestly, Bella! You are so bad at Christmas time!"

She walked into the kitchen, where she had earlier laid a bag of groceries from inside the box. She pulled out a pot from one of the cabinets, and set out the ingredients for mulled wine.

"Alcohol sounds good," I sniffled.

She turned back to me, "When was the last time you ate? You are incredibly pale."

I tried to remember. This cold had killed my appetite, "I'm not really sure."

She pursed her lips and went to the refrigerator, "Bella you have the fridge of a frat boy. There is beer, Gatorade, and leftover pizza in here. No wonder you're sick."

I coughed into my hoodie sleeve, "Hey! Cold Pizza is the breakfast of champions."

She rolled her eyes at me, "Uh huh. You mean the Champions of Beer Pong. You," she pointed at me, "Go upstairs, shower, dress in real clothes. We are going out for human food."

"But-"

"Bella. Don't make me break out the smurf bites," she moved towards me, hand raised in threat.

"But-" She pinched my arm, "Ow! Fuck! Ok. Jesus, I'm going!"

I stomped upstairs in a huff and twenty minutes later, I felt marginally better in jeans and a soft dark blue t-shirt.

I stubbornly pulled my hoodie back on, and Jess made a face at me, as she picked up her keys and purse. She was already zipped up in her girly pink parka. It was really sunny when we stepped outside, and I blinked, adjusting to the bleak winter light.

I looked across the street, but Edward's house was quiet, the curtains drawn. I hadn't seen him for a few days, until last night. I had been kinda miffed, but tried to tuck those feelings away. It wasn't like we had labeled ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. And if I was frank with myself, I didn't really want to commit to a relationship with labels.

As the sun hit my eyes again through the windshield, I briefly wondered if Edward had to stay out of the sunlight, if he would burst into flames or melt.

Jess drove us to the nearest grocery store and proceeded to lead me through Saturday hell in the store. She marched like an old time matron on a hospital ward, as she efficiently threw food into the cart. I plodded along behind her, throwing in junk food.

This was our old routine, from before. She would insist on making sure the fridge was stocked when she lived at the house. She and Tyler were total health nuts and I was a bachelor's daughter.

I could cook. I just chose not to.

I put it down to disposable income and general laziness. The kickboxing was the only thing that kept me from a heart attack.

As we left the grocery store, the afternoon sun was just going down, the light was softer, less piercing. I thought of Edward again, and wondered if he was that classically clichéd version of a vampire. Was he repelled by garlic, holy water, a crucifix? I laughed as my brain imagined him turning into a bat, all old Hollywood movie style, but laughing turned into a huge coughing fit, and I felt tired once it was finished.

Jess threw me a worried look, but didn't voice whatever was going through her head. When we pulled into the drive, I helped her carry the bags in, sparing a glance across the street.

We put the food away in silence, and when that was done, I helped her prepare the mulled wine. We sipped, and she filled me in on life with Tyler in the city, how happy they were.

We decorated the tree together, arguing over where ornaments went, and Jess frustratingly went behind me and rearranged where I was absently tossing ornaments onto the tree. Much later, we were enjoying our third cup of mulled wine, the fire crackled in the fireplace, and the Christmas tree twinkled with lights. I could feel the wine blooming in my cheeks, and loved the warm feeling it filled me with.

"So when are we gonna talk about Edward?"

I felt myself flush and turned my gaze away from the dancing flames in the fireplace, "What do you wanna know?"

Her eyes studied my reaction, "I take it by that look on your face that you're in deep."

In deep. She didn't know the half of it.

"Jess. He's um. Pretty special. He makes me feel," I paused searching for the word, "alive."

She raised an eyebrow at me as she drank her wine, "Alive? Alive is good. Are you happy?"

I nodded. I could safely admit to that, I was, in a sense. Edward wasn't anything like…anything like I'd known before.

She pursed her lips, "I may have to have a talk with Edward. Make sure he treats my girl good."

I laughed, "I would love to see that."

"Why? I can handle myself!" I knew that she could, we'd sparred together before.

"I know, Jess. Edward, he's just," I searched for a way to describe him, "not like other guys."

Jess rolled her eyes, "Men are pretty much the same. Their list of priorities is usually not very long."

I smirked and raised my mug, "I'll drink to that."

There was a quiet moment, the fire crackled in the fireplace.

Jess looked at me, "So are you guys…y'know?"

I blushed, Are we…?" I raised an eyebrow, and she nodded.

I gulped my wine this time, "Yeah. We are."

Her whole face lit up, "Oh my God. And what's he like? Is it good?"

I nodded.

"How good?"

I took another moment, trying to pick my words carefully, "Mind blowing. In ways you wouldn't believe."

She actually squeed at me and almost sloshed wine on the couch.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so happy for you. You deserve it."

We moved onto other topics, talking long into the night. The wine finished and we must have dozed on the couch. The phone rang, waking us both up. It was Tyler, he was standing outside to pick up Jess.

She hugged me goodbye, and told me not to kick the tree when she was gone.

"I know you hate this time of year, that family hasn't been what you wanted. But you know you're always welcome at ours."

She squeezed me again, and then went outside to meet Tyler. I held the door open, watching them drive away into the night, the red brake lights fading into the dark.

I cleared up the mulled wine, loaded the dishwasher, and went back into the living room. I stared at the twinkling tree, trying not to loathe it, and all it represented.

=IA=

BPOV _One Week Later_

The sun was going down, the winter evening settling in early. I decided I would treat myself to a bath. Now that the tub had been used, I didn't feel as intimidated by it.

The jets were incredibly relaxing, and it massaged away the shitty way I still felt. I just couldn't shake this cold. Although, still going to work with a fever had to be one of the stupider things I had done in a while.

Yorkie had phoned to say he was feeling better and would be in tonight, so I didn't have to be at the theater this evening, and Mike told me not to come in.

Thank fuck for that. Maybe I could just relax in front of the TV, or see if Edward was home. Just thinking his name made my pulse pick up. I wondered if he would want to go out.

Like on a date.

I hadn't seen him for a few days, I assumed he was staying away while I was sick. It was weird, not seeing him, even though he only lived across the street.

I turned off the jets, and pulled the plug. Picking up the towel I'd laid out, I dried myself off, and unpinned my hair. Wrapping the towel around myself, I opened the door. I stepped out into the darker hallway, and ran into what felt like a brick wall.

Cold hands grabbed my arms, steadying me.

The smell was different. It wasn't Edward.

I looked up into chillingly familiar whiskey colored eyes.

"Hello, darlin'. I thought I would pay you a social call."

=IA=

EPOV

It was a new moon tonight, the heavy darkness settling over the city as the temperatures dropped.

I made my way over the pavement, the dank streetlights providing a soft orange glow. I arrived outside of Marcus' apartment building and pressed the buzzer. It was answered without a word, he must have known I was there.

I was upstairs quickly, the landing dark, and poorly lit for human eyes. His thoughts were quiet as he opened the door, but his eyes were shocked.

"Edward!"

Then internally, his mind echoed, _T__his is going__ to be a rather interesting evening_.

He tried to cover his thoughts, I could tell, it was like a door slamming, and he tried to think of other things, of Bella in the theater. He was purposely trying to distract me.

"You were expecting someone else?"

He attempted to recover his surprise, his mind flashing to the picture of someone I would rather not see.

_No_, my own mind hissed.

Then there was the familiar pitch of those thoughts, thoughts I had not heard in a very long time. I steeled myself as they filtered up the stairs, matching footsteps, clear as a ringing bell as he lightly made his way up.

He emerged from the darkness, his ice blonde hair, and golden eyes the picture of archangel perfection.

He paused at the top step, and I felt my lip curl at the sight of him.

_Edward! _

Inclining my head in mock politeness, I greeted him.

"Carlisle."

* * *

**A/N**

**Oh Daddy!**


	18. Chapter 17: Cell Block Tango

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all the twilight stuff and made Jasper quite the southern gentleman...**

**Thanks as always to my ficwife and RL bestie Lambcullen. She betas the demon and he always comes home whistling a wicked tune.**

**Thanks as well to the lovely snshyne who prereads the demon, her comments are legendary, and always make me giggle.**

**Music and all:**  
**Numb: Linkin Park**  
**Bad Things: Jace Everett**  
**The Bitter End: Placebo**  
**Eppure Sentire (Un Senso Di Te): Elisa**  
**Lacrimosa: from Mozart's Requiem Mass (piano)**  
**Good Enough: Evanesence**

**

* * *

**

_"__He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!"_  
_Cell Block Tango_, Act 1 of _Chicago_. Lyrics by Fred Ebb

EPOV

"Carlisle."

"Son," he answered.

My eyes narrowed at him, "You do not get to call me that. Ever again. I'm not your son."

His eyes were kind as he looked at me, "You will always be my son." Carlisle's glance shifted to Marcus', "Shall we move this inside?"

Marcus nodded his assent and moved aside, allowing us into his apartment. I hesitated briefly. If I left now, it would be a sign of weakness. I knew Marcus was keen to see a reunion between us, his gift showing a weakened bond between Carlisle and I, but it still existed, in whatever capacity.

I followed Carlisle inside, and Marcus shut the door. Marcus invited us to sit down in front of the fire in the living room, and I sat in one of the chairs, and watched as Carlisle took the couch across from me. Marcus joined us, sitting in the other chair, beside me.

Carlisle's mind whirled, he'd been invited by Marcus for a visit, and never expected to see me. Marcus' thoughts followed along the same line, and he was nervous for what might take place. Marcus and Carlisle went back, their friendly camaraderie started several centuries ago.

What always fascinated me was the differences between Carlisle and the Volturi coven as a whole. The Volturi were everything that Carlisle was not. The Volturi preferred more traditional fare, whereas Carlisle enjoyed his lifestyle choices that left him on the vegan side of the vampire palate: animals only.

Hence Carlisle's golden angelic colored eyes, and mine and Marcus' deep crimson.

However, I had not fed in over a week, the red slowly fading to black, and dark circles were beginning to form under my eyes.

"How was your trip to Italy, young Edward?"

I looked at Marcus, who had suggested the trip in the first place.

I pursed my lips, and gave Carlisle a withering look before answering, "It was intriguing. I had no idea the Volturi kept such extensive records."

Marcus nodded, "We started it almost a millennia ago, to preserve what was known about our histories. And did you find the information you were looking for?"

I shook my head, "It would appear there are only theories, that my experience is unique," I glanced over at Carlisle, who was taking this conversation in. He knew that Marcus had done extensive research on Vampire mates, on immortality and whether or not only one true mate existed.

Carlisle looked confused and his thoughts echoed the same.

Marcus' eyes widened, "Very intriguing indeed then. Have you decided what you shall do?"

"I have given it much thought, but am unwilling to accept the only conclusion I have drawn."

Marcus sat up straighter in his chair, his eyes alight, "You must accept it. I so wish for you to be happy, and she is truly unique. She will make an excellent mate for you. She is yours."

+IA+

BPOV

"Jasper!"

He smiled, but there was no warmth in his rows of lethal teeth.

"How kind of you to remember," he drawled, "You look," he inhaled, pulling me close, smelling my hair, "mmm, delicious."

I shuddered, as his cold hands squeezed my arms.

"I smell fear, Bella," His thumbs rubbed over my skin, and I cringed at his touch, "Let's retire to the bedroom, shall we?"

He didn't ask, simply dragged me along with him, nearly wrenching my arm out of the socket. I grabbed for my towel as it started to slip.

He pulled me inside, shutting the door behind us. My eyes watched him as best they could in the darkness. He moved away from me, around my bedroom, picking up odd objects I had on my dresser and then putting them back down. An icy wind gusted from an open bedroom window. He must have somehow pushed it open. I eyed the window, wondering if I would be able to escape. He followed my gaze and quickly slammed it shut. I jumped at the noise, I tried not to let the fear claw at my insides. He smiled at me, and then continued his perusal of my room.

I was waiting for any moment of distraction, anything I could use to my advantage, to somehow escape. My phone was on the bedside table. I wondered if I could get to it, and somehow call Edward.

Maybe, if I could keep Jasper talking.

"So, um. To what do I owe this pleasure?" I tried to sound calm, although my voice was a little shaky.

He studied me, I could see his eyes glimmer in the red light from the alarm clock. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, and I could just make out the outline of his form.

"Believe me, Bella. The pleasure is going to be mine."

Oh shit.

"Why is that?"

He expelled a breath, "For a long time, I have done what was asked of me. I changed my diet to suit the people around me. I was weary of the constant drink-kill, drink-kill of the normal vampire diet. For almost seventy years I've fed on the blood of animals. But, I believe it's time for a change."

I tried to clear the lump of fear from my throat, "Why change now?"

He stepped closer, and with a gush of air, he was directly in front of me, running his finger along the edge of my towel. The cool digit brushed over the beginning swell of my breasts, and I tried not to flinch, and failed.

"I forgot how good y'all taste. Well," he amended, "I didn't forget per se, but you certainly reminded me."

+IA+

EPOV

Marcus glanced over at Carlisle and noted his confusion.

"Edward believes he has found his singer, and his mate, in the same human."

Carlisle smiled, "This is wonderful, but my God, Edward, your singer?"

I sneered at him, "I don't know whether to kill her or fuck her, Carlisle."

Carlisle frowned, "There's no need to be crude, Edward."

"There is a need. There is a lot of need. A need you wouldn't even be able to define." A growl built low in my chest.

"Edward, control yourself."

"I've been controlling myself for quite some time now. Quite well, actually, without you."

"So I see," his face was solemn, and his eyes regarded mine steadily. He was remembering when I was part of his family, and I felt my lips twitch in disgust at him.

How dare he?

"If you think you can throw the pictures of happy families at me, to convince me that you are ready to welcome back the prodigal son, you are dead wrong."

"You are my son."

"I am an obscenity that should have died a century ago. But you took that away from me." My voice was raised now, but I did not care. I was out of my chair now, and I took an aggressive step towards him, "You took it all away from me. I was someone's son, but not anymore," I was in his face now, "I am an abomination to the God you claim you work for, and you have the audacity to stand there and want me to come back to your fold? You are no shepherd, you are no Jesus. You are just as damned as you have damned me. Every day I loathe you more, as the burn once again settles into my throat, and all I want to do is kill every warm thing around me. I sully everything I touch and that's because of you."

I was seething now, and I was ready to tear him apart. Marcus could see I was beyond the boiling point, and he was about to intercede when my phone rang.

Retrieving it from my pocket, I pulled it out and answered it.

"Alice."

"Edward, I'm on my way to Bella's." I could hear a car engine purring in the background.

I tensed, on alert, and listened as she continued, "It's Jasper. He-"

A menacing growl built in my throat, and I was through Marcus' door within seconds. I didn't even care how it would look, my main focus was Bella at that point. I ran, I was a blur, the world around me racing as I moved towards my goal.

If he has touched her, he will die. It is a promise I will see fulfilled.

+IA+

BPOV

His eyes fixated on a drop of water clinging to my skin just below my collarbone. Before I could stop him, before I could back away, he licked it from my skin.

His eyes were closed as he savored the water in his mouth, "So warm, so clean. You're as sweet as a spring time breeze, darlin." He opened his eyes once again and met mine, and I felt my heart leap at the cold hunger I saw there. "Edward is gonna be mighty upset with me. So's Alice," his hands went for the top of my towel, "But I really don't give a flying fuck anymore."

His words made me shiver in fear, and I gasped as he tore the towel away from me.

His eyes devoured me, as I tried to cover myself with my hands, "My, my. Edward does have taste, doesn't he?"

I tried to cover as much as I could from his gaze as it raked over me. His hands stilled mine, and I tensed as his fingers brushed my bare skin. "There's no need to cover up, darlin'. I know what you are, and we both know dear Edward doesn't exactly have to buy the milk when he can get the cow for free."

I was afraid, but getting angry now. He was toying with me. "You're a fucking bastard. I hope you rot in hell!"

He dropped his hands as he tsked at me, "Is that the kind of language they teach ladies to use nowadays? Bastard, I am not, but you're right on the other part. I probably will rot in hell. Might as well take you with me, sugarlips."

He moved towards me again, but was interrupted by the window crashing open, glass shattering everywhere. Edward landed in a crouch, every muscle in him radiating fury. He looked at Jasper and me, and his face grew dark with rage. In that split second I moved away from Jasper, who reached towards me. He never got the chance to touch me again, because Edward bowled into him, knocking him to the ground.

"I told you what would happen if you ever came near her again," he spoke through his teeth, and there was a loud growling noise that thundered from his chest.

I reached down and picked my towel up from the floor, the cold air streaming from the window chilled me instantly. My teeth rattled, and Edward glanced towards me.

His distraction was all it took. Jasper, saw the opening, and made his advance, attempting to bite Edward in the neck. Edward guessed his intent, and was able to react quickly, moving out of the way of his lethal teeth.

They moved fast, almost too fast for my eyes to see in the dark. I could hear snarls and snaps, and what sounded like concrete blocks bashing together. I moved to the corner nearest me, hoping to somehow avoid the fight. Furniture snapped, crumbled, as they moved over the room, it was like watching a tornado, the destructive path of boards, glass, and my belongings littering their path.

I closed my eyes, the horrible sounds of the fight going on in front of me. As I was trying to shrink further into the corner, something hit the wall next to me, and I jumped.

I opened my eyes to see what it was.

It was an arm, pale white, like it had been torn from a statue. There was a dent in the wall from where it had impacted. But instead of landing stationary, the fingers twitched until it moved, flopping itself back over. I watched in horror, as the fingers scuttled across the floor, dragging the rest of the appendage with it.

_This shit is not real. This shit is not real. This shit is not real. _

I looked over to my left and saw that the door to the closet was open. I glanced back at the room, and wished that I hadn't. My bed was flattened, the rest of my furniture thrown around the room. Edward and Jasper were only blurry movements, violent growls erupting from their throats. The arm was still making its way across the floor, and I felt revulsion crawl up my throat at the sight of it.

I had seen enough. I dove for the closet, and shut the door behind me.

Inside the small dark space, I could hear my own panting breaths. I wish I was one of those people who kept weapons in their closet, but guns were just not my thing.

Besides, something told me guns were not gonna do much damage.

There was a horrible metallic tearing sound, and something else hit the floor outside. I could hear more soft thudding and scuttling, and I pulled my legs up, curling into a ball. There was more tearing, and the fight seemed quieter now.

Then Edward's voice, "It would appear the guilt you are attempting to make me feel is not going to work. I hope you enjoy the burn, brother."

There was the sound of a single set of footsteps, and then the house was silent. I stayed in the closet, afraid to move, afraid to fucking blink.

+IA+

EPOV

I watched as the fire licked over the ivory limbs, melting them into ash. Thick purple smoke traveled up the back of the fireplace, seeking the chimney.

Jasper's death now posed a problem.

Alice.

By now, she already knew that her mate was dead. By right, Bella would have to die. My only choice would be to change her, to give her a fighting chance.

If I changed her, she would no longer be my singer, was I prepared to give up the fruit that should be forbidden to me?

The door opened, and I knew it was she.

"Alice I-"

"Just shut up. Shut the fuck up. Do not talk." Her voice was strangled, as she shut the door behind her and advanced into the living room. I still had my back to her, watching flames lick over the very last of him.

I turned to her, readying myself, her mind scrambled as she imagined me screaming in horror, while she threw me into the fire.

But then her mind moved to the last few years, and she showed me how unhappy Jasper had been. How her emotional state effected him, her unhappiness became his, and it sent him into a dark depression. A rift developed between them, and even though they were mates, that bond between them slowly coiled into deeper and murkier sadness.

She blamed herself.

Alice's mind whirled, between Jasper's final rest, and the hope that I might be her brother again someday.

If she could cry, if our kind were allowed to show that emotion, she would be. She would be crying, but there were only dry sobs in her chest.

Maybe it was the budding humanity in me, maybe it was the fact that Alice couldn't hide the love she felt for me, the bond that she desperately sought, as my sister.

Whatever it was, I was across the room, in front of her, and my arms were around her, pulling her to my chest. Her mind was in anguish, and she couldn't be angry with me.

"I'm alone now, I'm alone because of this bullshit. I hate you, Edward. I should hate you. I should, but I can't, Edward. I can't!"

The engine of a car hummed outside and then abruptly turned off, a car door slammed, and then the front door opened.

Rosalie, Emmett's mate, stood in the doorway. Her beautiful champagne hair hung down her back, her immortal beauty frozen on her pale face. Her gold eyes settled on Alice and I, and her high boots clicked on the flooring as she moved forwards. Her thoughts were angry, bitter, and she met my eye over Alice's shoulder with disgust.

"Give her to me."

Alice went willingly into the arms of Rose, who looked over Alice's dark head at me.

"You have fucked up, royally, Edward. How do any of us recover from this? You have killed a brother, our brother. Deny being a part of this family all you want, but you and I both know it's utter bullshit."

Alice whimpered against Rose's chest. Rose stroked her hair, "C'mon. Let me take you home."

Rose lead Alice out of the house. I stood there for what could have been hours or minutes. Time passed slowly, the fire in the hearth finished what I had fed it, and sat in its grate, embers glowing dully.

I looked up then, realizing I'd left Bella alone.

What if she was hurt? I didn't smell blood when I'd entered the house, and this assured me she had not been injured. I had briefly seen her against the wall, but she had disappeared during the fight.

I was across the street, the window gaping open with shards of pointed glass still hanging from the frame.

I listened, quietly stepping into the room. I cracked a piece of glass with my shoe, the noise echoing loudly. My senses located her in the closet, her breathing patterned small breaths, as if she was trying to be quiet. Something inside me twisted, and after everything that had happened this evening, that I should feel remorse now, knowing she was sitting in her closet, in the dark, frightened to breathe.

I opened the door, and she jumped, her hands flying up to protect herself. I ignored the unquenched burn in my throat. I had not fed in almost two weeks. My eyes had grown dark, and my throat ached. She made it worse, and I instinctively picked up the gushing sound of her heart. It was wet, and my throat was so very dry.

"Bella?" I entered, walking slowly towards her. She squeezed tighter into the ball she was curled up in. I knelt in front of her.

Her hoarse whisper broke the silence, "Is he gone?"

"Yes."

She relaxed, I could almost hear her muscles retreating to a more natural position, as she uncurled from her tense posture.

She was still wrapped in her towel, and the night air seeped in beneath the door. I could see her breath in the darkness, soft puffs of mist.

"You are unhurt?" I resisted the urge to run my hands over her, everywhere, to check her.

She nodded, "I think so. Are you ok? Did he hurt you?"

She tried to move towards me, but her towel slipped further down her skin. I shook my head, "He didn't hurt me." I attempted to help her right herself, her hands were shaking. Her smell overwhelmed me again, and I locked my jaw, trying to see past the burn. I noted the feverish temperature to her skin was gone, wheezing in her chest had almost dissipated, and she seemed almost recovered from her illness.

I had not denied myself for so long, had not left myself without sustenance for so long a period. It would have to be tonight, or else the hunger would be beyond even my control around Bella.

I helped her to stand and she weaved a little on her feet, she braced her hands on my chest. She took a step back from me, the distance seemed like miles, and she shyly looked at her feet.

"Thanks."

I stroked a finger down her warm velvety cheek, "You are more than welcome, Bella."

We stood, and silence was somehow awkward. She sighed and licked her lips, "I um. I better get dressed. Do you think you could give me a few moments?"

"Very well."

I physically forced myself to walk away from her, her warmth, her smell. The beast howled inside me. It urged me to go back, to take what should be mine.

After all, I had certainly killed for her.

I leapt from the window, giving her space and needing enough distance between us to think. I listened to the rustle of clothing and Bella getting ready. There was the flick of a lighter, and the smell of burning tobacco seeped down to me.

I heard an odd sound from Bella's room upstairs and was drawn towards it. Back in her room, I found her sitting against a wall. The rubble of the fight between Jasper and myself, was set out in grizzly patterns of destruction around her. The cigarette lay slowly burning in an ashtray beside her, the smoke curling upwards like a dancing ghostly ribbon.

The sound I heard was breath catching and sawing in her throat. She was sobbing. I stepped towards her, cracking more glass under my shoe. Bella jumped at the sound, and when she saw me, she hurriedly wiped at her face and attempted to stand up. I watched her struggle, and she leaned heavily on the wall as she stood up, her limbs seemed shaky.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't see me this way. It's just-he just-" Her breath caught again and she furiously swiped at stray tears on her cheeks. I moved towards her, closing the gap between us. Again, my throat was an inferno, the closer I was to her, the dryer the burn.

_Drink…_

I swallowed venom as I studied her, "Did he touch you?"

"Yes."

I barely hushed the growl in my throat. I grabbed for her, needing to touch her, squeezing her upper arms, "Where?"

"Just over my chest. He also um," she paused, "he licked me."

Hunger was forgotten for a second, and I snarled.

"He will never touch you again. You are mine."

I crushed her to me, and deep down, I recognized a separate need to reassure myself that she was alive. My lips sought hers, and her mouth ignited so many warring instincts inside me. Her tongue met mine as our lips moved. Her smell, her taste were both a soothing balm, and kerosene to the fire in my throat. My fists bunched in her t-shirt at her back, and I wanted to tear her clothes off, see her naked, an offering to the monster inside of me.

The days I had been away had been too long. I wanted to take my time with her, savor every sight, sound, smell; rather than fuck and drink amidst the ravaged furniture of her room.

I backed off, and she panted, her hands grasping my upper arms. My forehead met hers, and I touched my lips to hers again, briefly. I had bruised them, could feel them slightly swollen against my lips.

"I am sorry if he frightened you. He won't be back here again."

I sincerely meant that, but was unsure as to how to further comfort Bella. Her heartbeat was not anywhere close to returning to normal. Her eyes focused on the open broken window.

"Perhaps it would be best if you did not spend the night here?"

"Jess is at her mom's this week."

I looked at her, "You will stay with me."

"Oh. You don't have to do that. I don't want to put you under any pressure-"

I pressed a finger over her warm, lush lips, "I can assure you, there is no pressure."

Her cheeks blushed, and I watched in fascination as capillaries expanded while blood rushed through them.

_Drink…_

I blinked, trying to bring myself back from what I most wanted in that moment. She was dressed in what looked to be a long sleeved t-shirt and baggy sweats.

"Do you need anything from here before we make our way over?"

She bit her lip, "Um. Let me pack a small toiletries bag. Two minutes."

I waited patiently while she disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. There was the sounds of rustling through cabinets and drawers. I picked up the shards of glass from the window and piled them into a corner, taking time to scan for the smaller pieces.

I was just placing the last piece on the pile when I heard her behind me. She stood in the doorway, her gaze falling on the splintered wood of the bed stand, to the ripped pillows, and finally, a rocking chair that had narrowly missed the destruction. She bit her lip, and her eyes watered again.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded and turned towards the stairs. I followed her down, and once at the bottom, she shoved on a pair of sneakers over her bare feet. Her handbag hung on the banister, and she pulled her keys out, before slinging it over her shoulder.

She opened the front door, and waited for me to step outside, ahead of her. Shutting and locking it, we started towards my front door.

Once inside, the weight of the evening suddenly sat very heavy on my shoulders. My eyes darted to the cold fireplace, and the ashes therein.

Alice's face flitted through my mind, and the sheer devastation on her face affected me. With so many things recently brought to the surface by Bella, it all seemed quite raw. My mind whirled, and the need for mental preservation took precedence.

I closed the door as Bella took a tentative step inside, her posture unsure. Slowly, she took off her shoes, and set them aside. She straightened, pausing again, her heart steady. She was like a doe, stepping cautiously into an open field, testing the air around her for danger.

I heard her throat contract as she swallowed and she exhaled. Her head turned and she looked longingly at the piano in the other room. Slowly she moved towards it, and I stood, watching her.

She sat down on the bench, her dark hair a dark rippling river down her back. Her small shoulders squared as she ran her fingers lightly over the keys.

I entered the room, and she turned at the sound of my footsteps on the floor.

Her eyes met mine, they were tired, "Sit with me?"

She made room for me, and I sat, her smell wrapping around me throat, venom nearly choking me.

"Play something?"

She was a seductress, a deviant Venus, and I obeyed. My hands lifted, my fingers depressed keys, and I chose the first thing that came to my head.

The sorrow filled notes of Mozart's _Lacrimosa_ filled the night enveloping around us. The sad music was like quiet forlorn footsteps on the air, a dragging march. Bella leaned against my shoulder, moving with me as I played. Her breathing was soft, her warmth radiating through, her beating heart keeping tempo with the music.

It was a lament, as I relived small moments from the last century.

_Jasper smiling at me over a chessboard, as my king lay horizontal on the board._

My fingers glided over the keys, Bella's hand settled on my thigh.

_Jasper's warm drawl promising to love Alice forever, as I stood by as best man. _

I hit darker notes, and Bella sighed, her exhale blowing more of her intoxicating scent around me.

_Jasper catching up to me, trying to convince me to come back, that leaving on my own was not the best way to go._

My hands paused, unable to play anymore. Bella's hand moved, settling over mine.

"I need you Edward. I need you to make his touch go away."

I closed my eyes.

Her other hand cupped my face, it trembled, but there was strength in it, as she turned my mouth to hers. Her mouth touched mine, a whisper of warmth in the darkness around me. She advanced, her hand wrapping around mine. Her fingers caressing my jaw, her tongue licking my lower lip.

_Yes._

I turned to her on the bench, her mouth never leaving mine, and she offered herself to me. I took what she gave freely, my mouth forceful on hers, maybe too hard, but she never protested. I pressed forward, and dragged her over me. She straddled my hips her legs wrapping around them, her moans needy, matching my own groaning. I felt myself harden in my trousers as her fingers went for the buttons of my shirt.

Her hips rocked, pressing close. Her hair was soft in my hands, and I sifted through it as my mouth moved over hers, again and again. Her warm fingers opened my shirt, and she raked her nails down my skin. I bit her lip, her delicate flesh was vulnerably delectable between my teeth.

Bella inadvertently scratched my nipple, and I hissed. She jumped a little, her lips leaving mine, her hand instantly leaving my skin.

"Sorry."

I reached for her hand, replacing it where it had been. Against her lips I murmured, "You cannot hurt me, Bella."

She resumed her exploration of my skin, while I raised her top, running my knuckles up her skin. I pulled the cotton over her head, needing to see more of her, feel more of her. She wore no bra, and her breasts were warm as they filled my hands. I squeezed them, and she arched her back, whimpering.

She rose up slightly, and her nipple was almost in line with my mouth. I bent to take the small bud into my mouth, rolling my tongue over her. She made a low sound in the back of her throat as her fingers threaded through my hair.

My hands found the small of her back, and ran my palms up her spine, and back down her sides. I could smell her arousal stronger, and I moved my hand over her stomach and dipped below the waistband of her pants. Her sex was slick and I lightly bit her nipple as my finger slid between her lips, stroking the small nub of sensitive flesh.

She pulled at my hair, her body bucking, my name a gasp from her bruised lips.

My other hand tugged at her pants, pulling them from her waist as she knelt up. I kissed a wet trail down her body to the soft pliant skin of her stomach. I dipped my tongue into her navel as I divested the rest of the cloth from around her hips, until it bunched at her mid thigh. My hands lifted her so she was sitting on top of the piano.

I spread her legs, her feet unsure, hitting unchorded notes on the keys, both high and low as I settled between them. She was wet, I could smell her, undiluted and wild. I needed this taste first, to whet my own palate.

My mouth settled over her, my fingers separating as I lapped at her, my tongue tasting, needing more. Her fingers were in my hair again, as she whimpered. Her hips trembled as I stroked over her clit. Faster, I moved my tongue faster, and her breathing was more erratic.

The darkly erotic taste of her overwhelmed my senses, but the beast was quiet, knowing he would be fed soon. I enjoyed every nuance of her, her hot skin burning me as I sucked, teasing her, until she moved with every touch of my tongue to her. My hand caressed up one of her legs, palming her knee to open her wider. She obeyed, but her legs shook. I lightly scratched my fingers up the inside of her thigh and then slowly, torturing both of us, edged them closer to her sex.

Where my mouth sucked, I replaced with my fingers, rubbing quickly, bringing her closer to orgasm. I licked down, and finally, thrust my tongue inside her. The noises she was making aroused me further, until I had to adjust myself in my trousers.

I continued tasting her until I knew she was on the brink. I wanted to watch her, and I leaned away from her. Her legs spread wide, her feet perched on the ivory keys, her toenails matching the black lacquer of the piano. Her chest was flushed, her nipples tight and her hair spilled down her back. Her lungs grabbed for air as she panted, little hoarse moans following each breath.

I moved my fingers faster, and slipped one inside her, then another. I moved my fingers, finding the sensitive spot inside her that made her tremble as I massaged it with my fingers.

She shouted, a litany of syllables encapsulated entirely of my name falling from her lips as she spasmed around my fingers, tiny flutters of movement and pulse as the arms holding her up gave in, and she lay back, quick breaths and little whimpers as I slowly stroked her sensitive flesh down. She was wet, so very wet and ready for me. I stood, licking her belly, my hands moving up her sides, over her ribs, and up to her breasts. My thumbs flicked over her nipples and she yelped.

My hands left her for an instant, to undo the buttons at my jeans. I divested myself of my clothing, and came to her, naked.

"Edward, are you sure the piano-"

"I don't actually care if we break it, if the whole house comes down around us. I just want you, all of you. Right now." I started to climb onto the piano and she turned over, crawling back. The sight of her backside, pale and warm made my cock leap, and I could bare no more anticipation.

It had been 884,594 seconds since I'd last been inside her, since I'd last tasted her. I would not be denied.

Before she could move another inch, I was on the piano, behind her, sliding inside her. She gasped as I filled her, and her warmth was welcoming, a haven from the events of this evening. The warmth was a rush that slowly worked through me and I leaned over her, kissing her neck as I moved inside her. Her soft sighs turned into louder, broken moans.

I moved my hands up her back, sliding over her sides, cupping her breasts, squeezing them in my hands as my hips met her skin. It was rough, and I struggled to keep rein on my lethal strength. I needed to possess her, to be deep inside her, again, and again, and again.

Her warm back pressed against my chest, her dark scent filled my nostrils as I slid inside her. It all culminated in a need so violent, I lost it for one split second. I felt my mouth on her neck, her skin on the edges of my teeth. She moved her head to give me more access, and I slit her skin on the edge, and her warmth flowed into my mouth.

I had killed for this, killed for her. She was mine.

If I continued, if I really let myself free, she would be dead, and I needed her more than alive. I needed her heat, her life pulsing around me, grasping, squeezing my cock deep inside her. She was beautiful, her skin flushed, slick against mine as I drank from her. The piano groaned as I thrust once more into her, a twist and pull in my abdomen, cycloning into my balls and the room exploded around us.

I rolled onto my back, pulling her against my side, an indefinable need to have the contact of her skin on mine.

I listened to her heart, it thudded in her chest, but eventually calmed. She was awake, and I felt the sweep of her eyelashes against my chest when she blinked intermittently. Her fingers ran over my chest and I found I could not stop touching her, needing to brand her with my fingers, everywhere.

It was not long before she started shivering, and I realized she was cold.

I moved down from the piano, and gathered her naked, into my arms. She clung to me, and I carried her into the living room. Setting her down, I lit the fire, and watched the flames leap over fresh logs.

I joined her, and she settled herself in my lap. Pulling a throw from the back of the couch, she wrapped it around herself and I tentatively set my arms around her.

"This is ok?"

She nodded and lay her face against my chest. I rested my chin on top of her hair, her scent filling my nostrils, making my throat burn. I wanted her again, as always, there was never enough to satisfy me. She was tired, and from what I could taste in her blood, the last remnants of her illness still clung to her.

She nuzzled my chest, and it felt…nice?

She sighed for both of us, and as the pre-dawn hours melted into the grayness of Winter skies, I watched the remnants of my brother's pyre ash mix with the new flames licking up the brick of the fireplace.

* * *

**A/N**

**Oops. Character death, btw.**

**I just wanna take the time to say thank you for reading, for reviewing, for alerting and favoriting, for tweeting, for DMing, for telling a friend, for visiting the thread, for just all around awesomeness. It means a lot. xo**


	19. Chapter 18: The Beggar's Opera

**A/N Stephenie Meyer owns all the Twilight stuff, and she only ever let Edward have a little taste. Which is a shame, he's such a hungry beast, after all. **

**So, I kinda feel like last chapter was the fire alarm going off, and we'll see who made it out alive. ha.**

**Thanks, as always, to lambcullen, who very nearly *died* while beta-ing. I hope I made all your wishes cum true, bb.**

**And a big thank you to Snshyne, who also very nearly cumbusted.**

**Oh yeah, and thanks to little lamb, Milo. Cuz he hates the he said, she said, stuff. Rofl.**

**Music, for your pleasure:**  
**Edward Leaves: Alexandre Desplat (new moon score)**  
**I Grieve: Peter Gabriel**  
**Virgin State of Mind: K's Choice**  
**It Came Upon Midnight Clear: Sixpence None The Richer**  
**Teeth: Lady Gaga**

* * *

"_Where can my Lover hide? Where cheat the wary Pack? If Love be not his Guide, He never will come back!"  
From Act 2, Scene iii of The Beggar's Opera, by John Gay._

EPOV

A melancholia settled over me after Jasper's death. When there was no respite from the ghostly corridors of my mind, Bella filled those hours for me.

She knew something more had happened that night, and I caught her looking at me from time to time, her facial features shifting, her mouth moving to form words. However, those thoughts never crossed the brink of her warm, soft, mouth. She never followed through on them, on whatever was moving through her brain. This further suppression of her thoughts drove me to near madness.

Her smell lingered on every spot she touched, so even when she was gone, her presence resonated.

But these moments with her, also facilitated a mental distraction. She spent more of her time in my home. I supposed it was like having a self-sufficient pet: she cooked for herself, she was a clean individual. She was quiet, she read, she amused herself with the television.

At times, my hunger, my baser instinct craved her in every way imaginable, and she gave the solace of her body freely to me.

And I took from her.

Probably more than I should.

It had been a week since Jasper's…departure. Time ticked by slowly, and I had withdrawn to a darker corner in the piano room. Only moving to feed, and to seek out the warmth of Bella's body.

So it was with surprise that I found myself standing outside this door, wondering if I would even be received over the threshold.

The quiet within was unsettling.

I raised my hand to knock on the door, but it creaked open the moment my knuckles touched the wood. A deathly silence that slithered out into the hall. It seemed alive, living, breathing, and it wrapped around me, trying to suffocate me.

I stepped inside, and shut the door behind me.

The usually minutely organized space that Alice and Jasper shared was the exact opposite. The couch had been shredded, white stuffing and springs poking out of the black leather.

Wooden tables had been splintered apart, shattered glass and broken knick knacks lay on the carpeting. The destruction had no order, no specific path. It was chaotic, and the anger shown towards the objects and furniture howled from a deep well of hurt.

I made my way deeper into the apartment, quietly, listening for any sign of life. I could still detect no thoughts, no attack awaiting.

I entered the bedroom, and this space seemed untouched. The room was done in pale blues, and harsh black furniture. There was a bed, and in it, a small still lump.

"Alice." My voice was scratchy, and it echoed over the gathering dust in the room.

She did not answer, she remained still, her mind, usually so alive with the present and the future, was blank.

I sat on the edge of the bed at her feet, and still she did not move.

If humans had found her, if they had seen her lying there, motionless, unresponsive, and no heartbeat, she would have been zipped up in a black bag, her toe tagged, her name catalogued.

But she would not decay, she would not whither, there would be no dust.

Dark circles sat under her eyes, her face was paler, more drawn, her irises overpowering the now faded golden hue. Upon closer inspection, they were nearly black with thirst. I reached out, touching her cheekbone with my finger tip.

"Alice," I whispered.

It was like a floodgate, and images poured out of her mind, gushing into the porous air between us.

Images of Jasper, handsome, his face smiling.

His face focused, his eyes intense, and I turned away from her, as she remembered Jasper making love to her.

Gently.

Fiercely.

Possessively.

Lovingly.

Her mind moved to running with Jasper, hunting with him.

She admired his slow easy gait, the way he took his time, with everything. She showed me memories of their first few years together, his endless patience with her quirks.

Alice remembered over and over, with aching clarity, how he was able to truly make her feel how much he loved her with his unique empathic abilities.

She showed me moments where she had seen Jasper and I together, laughing. How Jasper had been quiet, and unsure of Carlisle's lifestyle.

After all, neither Jasper nor Alice were products of Carlisle's meddling. Jasper had been turned long before he met Alice, and Alice turned and left by her sire. She had no memories of her human life before.

She only woke up, and knew the main focal point in her life would be Jasper.

That nothing else mattered, that all the other stars in the sky were worthless to her, their mysteries blown out, leaving only the singular flame of undying love. Immortal, unbreakable, infallible.

At least Alice had thought so.

Jasper and I had a falling out, his superior attitude constantly taunting me. He was worldly, I was not, he was a man who had fought in wars, I was a young man caged within the boundaries of Carlisle's too peaceful existence.

Granted, I was already on the edge, his words were barely a push.

Alice showed me after I left, how Jasper had wanted to go after me, that he understood my need to break free, to live on instinct alone.

Alice, afraid for her mate, had convinced him to stay.

The family splintered, only coming together now and again. Jasper and Alice stayed close to Esme and Carlisle, who based themselves in Washington State, its dark and damp forests supplying ample game and dull skies.

Emmett and Rose roamed, and when Emmett left, it took away some of the only easy feelings from the circle.

Jasper and Alice sank, and his empathic abilities acted as a sponge, absorbing Alice's despair at my departure, coupling with his own grief.

He was much more introverted in the last few months. So much to the point where Alice wondered if it was my fault entirely. It was always easier to blame me.

Jasper continued to sink, Alice worried, and she was bereft of the mate she assumed would last beyond any concept of time. She suppressed the anger and hurt she felt at his withdrawal, and tried to be what she could for him.

And then I had come back, and he brightened. He was glad that I had returned, and was ready to call me brother again.

But I had not returned to rejoin the family, and Alice saw this. Jasper became consumed with what consumed me, his curiosity a knife edge along his hunger.

Alice had told him it would be his death if he continued to pursue Bella.

But he did not care. He stalked her in the theater, which made my blood rage at the thought of him so close to her. I would be having a word with Marcus.

Alice knew he was going to meet his death the night he broke into Bella's. She had tried to warn him.

It seemed inevitable though, as gravity pulls every wild comet from its path.

And Alice had been looking into future's looking glass long enough to know when the outcome could no longer be changed.

I growled lowly when she showed me a vision of her meeting Bella. Her thoughts were asking, the pictures slightly blurry.

It was amicable, Bella's face was wary, and Alice attempting to put her at ease.

"I will not allow it."

_You owe me, Edward. _

"No."

A face flashed through her mind, cold ruby eyes, the grin facetious and false as always.

"You cannot, Alice. Aro is not a solution."

_I don't need your say, Edward. You have made your choices, and I am making mine. _

"Alice, I will not allow you to-"

Alice moved, her motions sluggish as she tried to attack me, but in her weakened state, she could barely overpower me, her attempts futile.

An animal blood diet had made her weaker anyways, but not feeding for nearly three weeks had depleted her reserved strength.

The smell of decay roiled from her flesh, she wished to die, and her thoughts moved through different attempts. None of them would be successful.

"You took everything from me, Edward. You didn't even hesitate. You just took, and now I have nothing."

She tried to fly at me again, she screeched at me, "Get out! Just get out. You've done enough, Edward. Just get out, and leave me to my memories. They are all I have left now."

I held her away from me, her emotional display bleeding her, and her delicate birdlike frame was wracked with dry sobs.

I positioned her back onto the bed, and she curled into it naturally, and when she was quiet, when there was nothing left but the aching pierce of her eyes into the wall adjacent to the bed, I left her. Her mind haunted me, and Jasper's eyes looked at me from her mind, and I felt myself grimace.

They were no longer scornful or mocking.

They were understanding.

+IA+

BPOV

I shifted slightly on my stool and pressed the button to open the curtains for the next scene.

Dusky purple lights mixed with acid green, signifying Maleficent's dark return to the stage.

Edward had made sure my window was fixed. I had told him I would organize it, that it wouldn't be a problem, but he insisted. I had come home one evening and noticed the boarding was gone. During the day, I chanced a trip inside, and that the window was replaced and the room cleared. Edward had said he would replace the furniture, but I told him not to bother with it.

I wasn't really ready to be alone in that room. The image of that fight, the explanations of what went on were only supernatural, and my mind wasn't ready to let go of sitting in that closet, alone. I had found the place where there should have been a dent in the wall and shuddered.

I jumped, brought back to the present, as poignant loud music filled the theater, setting mood, and capturing the audience in the small world on stage.

James had returned, although he was very quiet, and we were all quite thankful. He seemed to be avoiding me, which suited me just fucking fine.

The lights darkened, signaling the end of the scene, and I closed the curtain. My crew worked quietly, their footsteps soft, as they moved scenery off and on stage. I watched, and when it was ready, I gave Yorkie the OK.

The scene played out, lights changed, some dull, some bright. My mind wandered again.

It was Christmas Eve, today.

God, I fucking hate Christmas.

The whole thing, the sugar-sweet way everyone loves each other because it's the holidays.

It was like a fucking get out of jail free card. Except for me.

Answer the phone when people call, it's Christmas.

Don't hate your father, it's Christmas.

Don't get drunk on Christmas morning, it's Christmas.

Fuck Christmas. Fuck the movies, fuck Santa Claus and his fucking reindeer, fuck the false sense of good will people decide they'll show. Fuck the nicey family crap that is so fucking false. My last real Christmas was the last Christmas I spent with my mother, when she was alive.

Although, there was that one Christmas I spent the entire day in the graveyard. Jess had been appalled when I told her.

This was why I spend Christmas away from civilization. Every year, I went to the summerhouse my mom had inherited from her parents. It had been passed onto me when I turned eighteen. Except, I didn't treat it as a summerhouse. I preferred it as my winter cabin, my retreat from the outside world whenever it was Christmas time. I was all packed: clothes, food, book, fresh sheets.

I always took Christmas through to New Year's. That was my one stipulation. I was willing to work double and triple shifts, I was happy to work weekends. But I flat out refused to work during the Christmas rush, I took it unpaid if I had to. I fucking detested being around people this time of year.

Even Jess left me alone.

I brought my mind back to the present as the scene changed once again, the curtain closed as the lights went off. On and on it went, until finally it was the last scene. The actors took their bow, the audience applauded, Yorkie blinked the lights, and Angela tried to keep costumes from being thrown around changing areas. I did the final clean up routine, and the crew checked in with me before they left for home. I sent most of them off early, and they nearly ran out the door.

By the time it was midnight, there were only a handful of people left in the theater. I was doing one last sweep, rattling the doors to the lighting booth and the prop room to make sure they were locked.

I finally finished, let the last of the crew go, and went into the locker room to change into my leather pants and my black riding boots. Normally I was quick, I didn't really like being in the old Theater myself, especially when it was totally deserted. Tonight, I was stretching it out, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation.

Coward.

I stomped my feet into my boots and grabbed my coat.

So I hadn't really said anything to Edward about my annual Christmas trek, and after the last couple of weeks, I was almost afraid to say to him. He wasn't exactly needy, but every touch somehow seemed more than just about touching me. It was like he wanted to sink under my skin, and not just physically. He allowed me to stay with him, and we settled into a routine. At times he was almost ferocious, wild, but also so careful.

The supple black leather of my jacket whispered with every movement, and my boots clumped against the flooring as I made my way through the darkened backstage area. I stepped out into the bitter chill and locked the doors behind me. Pulling out a cigarette and my lighter from the pack I kept in my zippered pocket, I lit up and inhaled, the burn a total relief.

I was going to go home first, check the house was locked, make sure the heating and the lights were set on their timers, and go. I would be taking the Mustang, it was easier to maintain on the longer journey.

I revved the bike beneath me, and it growled in the cold. The streets were quiet, and Christmas lights blinked from storefronts. Dank steam gathered in the air, but I blazed through it.

I was home in record time, and grabbed my bag from the kitchen counter. I was able to load the rest of my things, food and provisions, as well as the cooler full of stuff for the fridge. Once everything was inside, I backed the Mustang down the driveway and pulled up outside of Edward's house.

I turned off the ignition and got out, closing the door behind me. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my coat as I made my way up to the door.

It opened before I knocked. Edward looked better, he had changed, his clothes new. He wore a black sweater and midnight dark blue jeans. He stood in the doorway, almost as if he were blocking me from seeing inside.

"Um, hi."

He stared at me, his eyes cold.

I shifted on my feet and cleared my throat, "You gonna invite me in?"

His eyes moved and his head turned towards a quiet noise that came from within the house.

"That would not be advisable."

I was about to ask why when a deep, familiar voice rumbled from within, "Let her in, Edward, for fuck's sake."

He sighed, and his jaw flexed. Silently, he moved away from the door, and I took a tentative step inside. The living room was lit by a soft glow, the fireplace was cold, but there were a few lamps on. Sitting on one of the couches was a large man with short black hair. His arms, which rested on the back of the couch, were the size of tree trunks, his neck the same. He wore a white creamy sweater, but his skin was paler against the knit.

His head turned to watch me, and he smirked at me, and his eyes looked at me as if he knew what I looked like naked. He was so familiar, but I couldn't figure out where I knew him from.

"Well hello, neighbor lady."

Oh my God.

I froze at the entrance to the living room, the pieces falling into place in my mind. I must have taken an involuntary step back, I nearly fell into Edward. I felt my face flush. Edward's arm was around my waist, and he pulled me possessively into his side.

_It was him_, my mind reeled, _That night Edward and I-_

I studied his face closer, and noticed his eyes, a warm whiskey gold, so like Jasper's.

I recoiled, and fear washed through me, icy cold. I tensed ready to run out the door, but Edward held me fast to his side.

The large man's eyes went from the warm smirk to distress, as he watched my reaction.

Edward's hand tightened on my hip, and his voice was velvety soft in my ear, "Shh, calm. Emmett will not hurt you, Bella."

He waited but I couldn't get the horrific image of Jasper licking my skin out of my mind, his cold finger sliding along the top of my breasts.

"Breathe, Bella."

I let out the breath I was holding in, exhaling loudly.

"Emmett, perhaps you should leave."

He smiled slyly at Edward, "I'm not going anywhere."

A quiet moment passed between them, and I jumped when Edward snarled menacingly.

Emmett's eyes narrowed, and moved back to me, "She knows, doesn't she."

Edward's voice was harsh, clipped, when he answered, "Yes."

Emmett cocked a dark eyebrow at me and then looked at Edward again, "Some secrets are meant to be kept, brother."

"La tua cantante."

La tua- what?

"Fuck off," Emmett's eyes were incredulous as he studied me with renewed interest. I shrank slightly into Edward's side.

Another silent exchange passed, and Edward answered an unspoken question.

"Mine," he growled lowly, and I felt his thumb dip under my jacket, his cool touch seeking the warmth of my skin. I shivered at the slight connection, and my body reacted to the stroke of his fingers. I could feel my nipples tighten, and I involuntarily licked my lips.

"Fair enough, Edward. Fuckin-a. Rose should be here soon, she'll love meeting your…pet."

I realized he was referring to me, and I flushed deeper.

As if on cue, a car honked outside, and I jumped. Emmett rose, his great hulking frame taking up the room. As much as he scared the shit out of me, there was something oddly likable about him. His eyes seemed kind in a boyish, mischievous way.

Emmett moved towards me, and Edward growled in response.

Emmett chuckled, "I promise not to bite, Edward. You would know if there was anything other than brotherly on my mind. Let me have a look at her."

He moved closer to me, and I couldn't help the flinch, as he gently pulled me from Edward's grasp. Before I knew what he was doing, he lifted me up so I was eye to eye with him. He winked at me, and then hugged me, like a child with a teddy bear.

In my ear he whispered, "Don't let him fuck you around. And by the way, you do smell mouth-watering."

I gasped, as Edward hissed. The car sounded again outside, and Emmett put me down.

"Later, doll face." He grinned at me, and then his eyes met Edward's. Something passed between, silently, but it changed the atmosphere in the room.

"Be careful, brother. I hope she's worth it."

Edward and I moved in unison to the side as he passed through the large open doorway and towards the front door. The door closed loudly behind him, and his footsteps were audible, as he walked down the driveway. A car door slammed, and the sound of an engine pulling away streamed through the night air.

I took a deep, calming breath, and turned to Edward. I bit my lip, and he reached up to drag it out from between my teeth. His crimson eyes were intense, and to get my thoughts together, I blinked and stared at his chin.

"Bella?"

"I um, I'm going to be away for a week," I croaked out.

"Away?"

"Yeah. I kinda do this every year." I bit my lip, as his hands settled back on my hips. He pulled me against him.

"I could stop you."

I swallowed, "You could."

I finally met his eyes, and they regarded me with that deep, voided look. His eyes, they were hungry, and not just for my blood.

"I can't Edward. I want to get there before daybreak."

"I could make you."

"But you won't."

His sigh nearly parted my hair.

"No. I won't." He leaned down, his lips brushing over mine. I closed my eyes, and involuntarily, my body leaned into his, my breasts pressing against his chest.

"When will you be back?"

"After New Year's."

My breaths fell upon his lips, his fingers found their way under my jacket again, his touch instantly moving my body, and I almost forgot the whole reason why I was standing here.

Almost.

"Edward, I have to go."

He kissed me then, his mouth devouring, his tongue stroking mine and I grabbed for his arms. I made fists in the cashmere, and his fingers slipped below the waist of my pants, caressing over my hipbones.

The kiss was hard, I could feel my lips bruising, they would be swollen. It was almost as if he was leaving a mark, showing his possession.

He let me go abruptly, and I followed his mouth as he pulled away. His soft laugh vibrated between us.

"Be safe, Bella."

I nodded, mutely, and in a total zombie state, walked out the door, my fingers running over my swollen lips.

+IA+

BPOV

I set my book down and checked the clock above the fireplace. It read just after five, and ticking.

I was downstairs, curled up in one of the most comfortable chairs that had been ever made. It was royal blue, and velvety soft. The cushions were incredibly squishy, and when I sat down in it, I sank into it. It reclined as well, but I chose to sit with my legs slightly dangling over the arm.

The chair matched the couch and loveseat suite, which were situated in a comfortable U shape around the living room area. The downstairs of the cabin was open plan and flowed easily around the staircase that led to the upstairs bedrooms. The wall behind the couch was honey colored wood paneling. It matched the staircase that ran up part of the wall.

Directly opposite me was a breakfast table, and a patio door that looked out onto the picnic area at the back, and the woods beyond.

Leading around from the table was the kitchen itself, done in blue and white checkered tiling. The fridge was this old school bright red refrigerator that refused to die. Grandpa Montgomery had kept it going, and had joked that the fridge would outlive him.

He had been right.

I had a white fleecy blanket covering me, but I threw it off, thinking I would pad to the kitchen to see if I could rustle up some kind of snack.

I slipped my big goofy slippers on and scuffed towards the kitchen.

I yawned lazily, and pondered taking a nap after my snack. I noticed little flakes outside, and wondered if we were in for heavy snow or just flurries. There was a small mounted TV in the kitchen and I switched it on. The news filtered through, as I dug through the fridge to get the stuff for an omelet.

"…early reports suggest the snow will last through the night. Conditions are supposed to turn nasty. So please, stay off the roads, people."

Great. I had plenty of stuff in here to do me, and I usually holed myself up anyways. The Mustang was covered, and in the small car shed, so it would be fine.

I made my omelet, and ate it quietly at the table. My belly full, I could feel myself getting sleepy. Any sleep would be worthwhile at this point. After washing my dish and putting it away, I walked back into the living room. Snow fell quietly outside and I settled back into the chair, covered myself with the blanket and slowly closed my eyes.

Before I fell asleep, I wondered what Edward was doing.

+IA+

_Edward, you should not have killed him. _

I looked up at Marcus as he sat across from me.

"He wanted to die, Marcus. That is the only explanation I can come up with. The only explanation I could really see in his mind. He was older than me, he had powers that could have stopped me. Granted, my consummation of human blood made me stronger by default."

Marcus neither agreed or disagreed.

_And what of Alice? You have killed her mate, she seeks no retribution? _

"She grieves, Marcus. She says I have taken everything away from her. I am not sure if what I feel is remorse or not. I have spent so long not feeling, giving into what should come naturally to our kind. By right, Alice should challenge me, or kill Bella. But she won't, Marcus. She wants her brother back. She wants that man back, but I have never been that man. I have not been a man for almost a century."

Marcus rolled his eyes with boredom. To himself, he said, _The passions of youth._ To me he stated:

_Yes, your eloquent speech had some effect on Carlisle. You have grieved him much with your angry musings. It was a great decision he took, making you. But loneliness is a great weight…_

His thoughts flashed through pictures of his mate, lost a long time ago, centuries before my human life had even started.

"Spare me your mental ramblings down memory lane, Marcus."

He hissed, and he spoke his thoughts aloud, in order to articulate and emphasize their gravity, "Do not forget that you have broken the golden rule, young Cullen. Your singer knows all about you, and the deeper you drag her into our world, the shorter her life becomes! If Aro should hear of this, it will be her fate decided. I can only testify for you, if Aro is willing to listen."

Aro, again. He was the head of Marcus' royal house, the Volturi. Millennia old vampires who seized control and enforce the rules. While the rules ensure the survival of our perverted existence, there was no democratic judicial process. It was well known that at times decisions were made on a whim, life and death really not holding too much importance.

I folded my fingers together and regarded Marcus, "I have been avoiding making a decision. I refuse to damn anyone else to this existence, but I find the more time that passes, the more my existence is chained to hers. Even now, she is away from me, and I feel pulled in her direction, like a compass, I am constantly pointed towards her."

_It would be wise to decide before a decision is made for you. Time is running out, Edward. Jasper's death may force more than your hand. _

+IA+

BPOV - _New Year's Day_

Midnight had come and gone, and I sat alone on the couch, my guitar at my side.

It was about two AM, and I sat in the dark, fascinated by the white snow, which seemed to glow under the full moon.

My eyes hurt when I blinked, like they were parched, and my body ached. I just couldn't get comfortable, my legs felt too fucking stretchy, and I didn't know whether to cry, or smash something.

Frustrated with myself, I decided I might as well lie in bed and try to sleep.

I got up, and pulled at my striped socks. They were long and came up to almost mid thigh. They were soft, my favorite pair, and black and white. I wore little black shorts and my Misfits hoodie with them.

Dragging myself upstairs I walked down the hallway and entered the door at the very end of the hall.. This was the bedroom I usually took residence in. There were four small bedrooms in all, the one I preferred was the master suite which had been modernized over the last few years. There was a large king size bed, plush white carpet, and my mother's old cherry wood furniture that I didn't have the heart to throw out.

It was part of the set that matched the rocking chair I had at home.

Taking off my hoodie, I pulled the hem down of my black t-shirt and got into bed. I tossed, I turned, I stared at the ceiling. I tried not to think about how irritable I was, how my breasts ached, how I wanted.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I must have somehow fitfully drifted off. However, I jolted awake at the sound of the front door slamming open. It rattled on the hinges as it hit the wall.

My heart pounded loudly, as I struggled to clear my head. There was the frightening sound of the door shutting, the lock clicking. There were two identical thuds, as if shoes were being removed, and then footsteps stalking up the stairs. I tried to hold my breaths in, afraid to make a noise. I tried to think if I had anything I could use as a weapon, and my eyes fell on Grandma Montgomery's old crystal vase on the dresser.

But it was too far away, and I was tangled in the bed sheets. And the footsteps were getting closer now. My heart beat so loudly in my chest, I thought it was gonna explode from my ribs and launch itself across the room.

I blinked as the bedroom door opened. There was a whisper of movement, and something pounced on me, a low growl in its throat.

But I knew that growl.

I welcomed it.

He was nose to nose with me, leaning over me, his eyes black.

"You complete my existence. I will not be denied."

He leaned back, and pulled the covers from the top half of my body.

The fear that had sparked my heart into the hammering rhythm in my chest turned to complete lust, and the throb moved down my body, settling between my legs. I lay panting, needing him, badly. I wanted to wrap myself around him.

In that moment, after being away from him for a week, I didn't want him to be gentle, I didn't want him to make love to me. I wanted him to fuck me, I wanted it rough, I wanted bruises and biting and violence.

"What if I say no?"

He paused, staring at me, and my heart beat between us.

"I know when you're lying."

"You don't."

He laughed darkly, "I can assure you, Bella, I know. I may not be able to hear your thoughts directly, but your delectable body gives you away."

His finger traced from my cheek, over the pulse at my neck and down the center of my chest, "First your heart speeds up. Then your body reacts, your blood rushes faster, and your cheeks bloom, while your breathing changes."

He made a fist in the black t-shirt I wore.

"This needs to come off. I want you. Now."

"I don't want you."

His eyes narrowed, "Lie."

He pulled on the t-shirt, and my body followed. I braced myself on my arms for balance.

"Get out," I said, my voice entirely unconvincing.

"Lie."

I could feel my nipples harden, my breasts heavy, "I want you to leave."

"Lie," he hissed. He pulled a small knife from his pocket. I remember the last time I saw it, remembered how it had frightened me. I knew he wouldn't harm me, not with the knife at least. He put the knife under the hem of my t-shirt and severed the fibers. He made quick work of it, and tried to pull it from my body.

"Don't," I half protested.

"Lie."

His strength was no match for mine, and the tattered cotton was tossed to the floor. He stuck the knife blade first into the nightstand, and the handle quivered.

I was half naked from the waist up, my pebbled nipples further reacting to the cool air and electric pulse between us. His hands reached for my shorts and he pulled them over my hips, I lifted up so he could drag them over my ass and down my legs. He left my socks on. I waited, my teeth running over my lower lip, as he sat back, his dark eyes watching me.

I realized he was waiting for me.

He wanted me to beg.

Slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt, his chest revealed to me in aching detail, and then his arms moved and he pulled them from the sleeves. The shirt was deposited slowly on the floor.

He braced his arms on either side of me, his movements graceful, but still sinewy and predatorily, as he leaned over me. He was still in his crouch, and as he got more comfortable, he kicked the rest of the covers aside.

He wasn't touching me, and I tried to keep myself from arching against him. I licked my lower lip, as he brought his face close to mine, and closed my eyes, waiting for his lips to touch mine.

They didn't. I could hear him inhaling, he was smelling me, and then exhaling along my neck, his icy breath scattering my thoughts. He moved from my neck down to my collarbone, over my chest. I opened my eyes to watch him, as he kneeled over me again. I resisted the urge to move my pelvis down and rub myself against him.

His hand moved as if he were going to touch me, there was less than a centimeter between my skin and his fingertips. He moved his hand over me, and I bit hard on my lip, the small pain nothing, compared to the ache that built between my legs.

I was ready to scream. I was more than aware of the cotton of my striped socks, stretched right up to my thighs, and it felt like the were almost too tight. I knew I was ready for him, could feel the throb, knew I would be so wet for him.

I was more than fucking ready.

He was teasing me, watching my reaction.

"Please." It was out of my mouth before I realized I'd said it.

"Truth," he all but growled as his body covered mine. I swear to Christ, I almost came right there, the touch of his chest on mine. His hips settled between mine, the rough fabric rubbing against me in sensitive places. His lips crushed mine in a punishing kiss, as his hand cupped my breast, his fingers pinching my nipple.

His hand left my breast to fly down to the button of his trousers. I was panting now, I needed him, it had been way too long since my last fix of him, inside me.

I used my feet to push his trousers down his legs while he bit my bottom lip.

His hand brought my leg up, his fingers sliding along the black and white stripes. He leaned up, his eyes never leaving mine, his erection poised at my entrance and I tried to flex my hips, tempting him. I whimpered in protest when he held back.

He placed my ankle on his shoulder and did the same with my other foot. I didn't understand what he was doing until he moved so fast, one minute he was kneeling there, my legs hiked up and the next he was deep inside me. He moved, pumping his hips, his skin slapping against me as he plunged into me. I moaned loudly every time our hips met, I could feel my leg muscles stretching with the position, and he was finding spots inside me that sent crazy zinging currents up my legs and back down.

His arms remained poised, braced, dominant, and I raised my hips to meet him, the rhythm was rough, pounding, and I was loud.

"Bite me, Edward."

"Not. Yet."

I gritted my teeth, as I tried to stop myself from cumming.

"Do it."

"No." He thrust harder, and I felt my eyes roll in the back of my bed.

"Oh fuck," and I couldn't stop, I couldn't help the inevitable, and I spiraled upwards, like a whizzing firecracker on the fourth of July, exploding in a loud dazzling scream of colors. He wouldn't let me rest, he pulled out of me and rolled me over.

"On your hands and knees, now," he ordered.

I struggled to make my limbs obey, somehow they did, and I felt his fingers grab my hips as he thrust inside me.

I closed my eyes as his hips smacked against my ass. One of his hands wrapped in my hair as he leaned over me.

"Ready?"

"Yes," I hissed at him. He was faster now, all quick thrusts and animalistic sounds from both of us filled the room. I pushed back against him, meeting him again and again. Just as I could feel myself tighten, as I felt the delicious sensation he leaned over my back, pulled my hair and bit my neck.

I screamed his name this time. The pull, the pleasure, the pain: culminating into this intensely all-encompassing feeling. It rushed through my veins, down my legs, my arms, and I collapsed as I felt him snarl in my ear, his tongue lapping at my neck.

Happy Fucking New Year.

* * *

**A/N**

**Still breathing?**

**While you smoke your cigarettes, some srs bsns:**

**1)Lambcullen and I are collaborating for FGB on a one shot. There is a team set up if you're interested in joining. Please contact landdownunda for deetz.**

**2) For those of you who've followed me over from The Rain Season, there is a kiltward out take in Fics4Nash! Details on my blog (link on profile) for how to donate. Check it out, there is loads of really great stuff from authors all over the fandom(s).**

**And thanks again for sticking with me, and for reading my nonsense.**


	20. Chapter 19: The Misanthrope

**A/N**

**Steph Meyer is so obviously team jacob. We're not though, are we ladies?**

**Apologies for the delay in updating. I've rewritten this chapter so many times.**

**Thanks and nuzzles to my dear Lambie. She drops everything for my demon and me. Ain't she grand?**

**Much love and cuddles to snshyne, who keeps me right and keeps me giggling with her comments.**

**Music:  
****The Love Thieves: Depeche Mode  
********Devil Town: Tony Luca  
************House of the Rising Sun: The Animals  
****************Heartache Tonight: Eagles  
********************The Bitter End: Placebo**

**********************************

* * *

**

"_I will escape out of this wood, out of this cut-throat place; and since men behave like wolves to each other, the traitors shall never have me among them so long as I am alive."  
The Misanthrope, Act 4, Scene I by Moliere_

BPOV

There were arms, strength without vitality, cold and deadly, cemented around me.

Hands, they moved over my legs, over my stomach, cupping my breasts.

Restrained predator, curled around me. I was vulnerable, but not like I'd been previously. With Jake, I had left myself open to his insecurities. He had weapons that had power over me, to enslave me.

Edward was different entirely. He simulated so much that, I thought, had died off with the divorce.

There was this need that I had for him, it only got stronger, and at times like this, I thought I would die from it.

It seemed the same for him.

His hands moved over me, his fingertips roaming over every inch. The possessive way he cradled me in his arms made me feel soft and fragile, but strong and powerful as well.

To be wanted so badly, to inspire a need so deep, that I physically ached with it. It really couldn't exist between normal people.

This had to be something supernatural, otherworldly.

+IA+

EPOV

It was early morning, but winter darkness stubbornly held onto the sky.

Bella had been awake for some time, her breathing not as even, as that in sleep. Her back was to me, but she was still pressed against my body; her still warmth a burning contrast to my cold form.

I had watched her sleep. I was fascinated by the rise and fall of her temperature, the quiet deep filling of her lungs. I had seen humans sleep before, watched them stumble through dreams, and fall into nightmares.

But here she was, my own quiet, artfully drawn mystery. The time without her had been a study in my own self endurance. It wasn't long before I started to try and hunt her, letting the beast have his head. The trail always went frustratingly cold.

I had a taste for her now, I taste for her sex, her blood. I was addicted, I needed more, constantly.

I was brought out of my reverie by her skin quietly shifting against me.

"How did you find me?" Her sleep roughened voice whispered.

My hand moved over her skin, I could not resist continually soaking up the living beauty of her warmth into my own skin.

"It wasn't that difficult, really. Most people live their lives electronically. Your assets were part of your divorce papers."

"Oh."

My hands paused in their journey, listening to the rhythms of her body, wishing I could read her mind. "Perhaps I have overstayed my welcome," I began, but she interrupted me.

"No! No, you can stay, I don't mind. I usually come here to be by myself during Christmas. I really hate this time of year, and this seems to be the only place I can escape to."

My hands resumed where they left off, my fingers running over her ribs, down her side.

She yawned, as goose pimples broke out over her soft skin, "Can I ask you something?"

"You may."

"It's about vampire stuff."

I smiled in the darkness.

_Vampire stuff_.

It sounded innocent, as if she were discussing the weather.

"Ask me anything, Bella."

"Ok." She shifted closer to me, her backside coming into contact with me, causing my already aroused state to twitch against her warm skin. I resisted the urge to move her hips just so, to touch her aroused flesh. I would circle her with my finger until she whimpered and-

"Are you allergic to garlic?"

I cleared my throat, and adjusted myself with my hand, "No."

"Can you be in sunlight?"

"Yes," I ran my hand over her side again.

"Really?"

I smiled, "Yes. I'll show you sometime."

I could hear her tongue running over her lips, "Ok. Do you sleep in a coffin?"

I pulled her against me, sharply. Air gushed out of her lungs as I lightly nipped her shoulder.

"I don't sleep, Bella."

Her heart beat beneath my palm as I angled my arm between her breasts. I stroked the softness of her throat, her pulse flew like the wings of a hummingbird.

"Any other questions?"

"Cru-crucifixes?"

I shifted my hips against her, pressing my cock into the small of her back, "Would you call this unholy, Bella?"

"Would you?" she whispered back.

I pressed again, and this time, she angled her hips up, moving slightly, opening her legs a little. She gasped as my cock slid between her thighs, I could feel her hot, wet, sex caress me.

I cupped one of her breasts, squeezing, as I bumped my hips against her, causing my cock to brush smoothly against her. She ground back, a small moan escaping her lips as she searched for more friction. I pinched her nipple.

"Does this feel wrong to you, Bella?" I moved my hips again, harder this time, our skin impacting. "Does it feel somehow…sacrilegious?" I slipped my other hand down the flat skin of her stomach, circling her navel. She arched away and then moved back against me, needing more. My fingers slipped further down, teasing her. Finally, I moved my hand between her legs. I slid my fingers lightly between her lips, but hesitated right before I touched her clit. She all but writhed against me.

I moved my fingers over her most sensitive flesh, and she nearly came off the bed.

"Do you want to be possessed?"

I listened to her whimpers as I swirled my fingers over her, her hips tried to work against my hand. She was slick now, the aphrodisiac of her smell making my cock solid and venom pool in my mouth.

I moved her hair away from her face, exposing her neck, her delicate ear.

"Let me inside, Bella."

I kneaded my fingers harder over her and her breath broke into a louder cry.

I moved my hand down to guide myself in slowly. She purred as I filled her. Squeezing her breast in my hand, the warmth filling my palm, and I stroked my thumb over her tightened nipple. I moved my hips, stroking in and out of her, her tiny moans filling the air around us.

Last night, when I stalked into her room, both of us had wanted something primal, my thirst and lust mingling into one certain objective: Bella.

But moving inside of her this way, her heart beating beneath my hand, her soft warm curves fitting to mine, my body moving in perfect precision with hers.

The slow build, the ebb and flow inside of her, until finally she arched, her backside pressing against me, urging me faster. I grabbed hold of her hips, finishing with a snarl against her throat.

I wondered if God enjoyed his cruel joke.

After all, how did you find solace in the soul of another when yours was no longer free to give?

How did I, a creature that did not have any justification for its existence, crave another so much, in every way? And yet, every instinct I fought to not destroy her brought me closer and closer to a more perfect ecstasy every time.

It was undeniable: I wanted her body, I wanted her blood, I wanted her soul. And here was the imperfection:

If I held her to me, for eternity, if I glutted myself on her and changed her to stone, if I took her soul, harvested it from her and left her lifeless and cold as I am; would the reason for my existence die along with her mortal life?

Would I no longer be complete? Would the wine never taste as sweet again?

She was the light to my dark, the thought of extinguishing that light with my own hands appalled me.

+IA+

BPOV

Edward and I returned to Seattle together. There was this boundary between us, and at times I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

I went back to living across the street. Edward and I spent a couple of evenings in, and a couple out.

The sex was fucking amazing.

Weeks went by, and it seemed to get more and more intense. I didn't know how to define it, and Edward didn't seem to try to define it anyways. Which, in a way, made me happy. I didn't want to label what we had, what we were doing. I had done the whole label thing before.

And look how fucking great that turned out.

Work turned over, and I followed the transition of a new show, we were taking on a British play called The Woman in Black. It looked really good, we went over the script to review what scenery and set would need to be built. It was designed, and my crew and I got to work.

+IA+

EPOV

I watched for the signs. I waited.

Time dribbled slowly by.

Alice still refused to hunt, I visited her when I was not with Bella.

She lay, unmoving, the apartment going to waste. Rose was there sometimes, and she hovered as I attempted to communicate with Alice.

She was obsessed with meeting Bella. I refused her, every time she asked.

Marcus confirmed that there were no movements from the Volturi to this area, and I was glad of it.

Killing Jasper was one thing. Taking on an entire army was not something I could do on my own.

+IA+

BPOV

I was outside happily smoking a cigarette with one of the crew. I'd just sent an incredibly dirty text to Edward and wondered if it was at all possible for him to blush.

"I'm going back in. See you in there." Ben let the door shut behind him, and the street was too quiet.

My phone buzzed in reply, but when I looked at it, it was Jessica.

**Call me ASAP when you get this xo**

I put my cigarette between my lips and quickly pressed the button on my phone to call her.

She picked up after the first ring, "Bella?"

"What's going on?"

"Bella. I got a phone call a little while ago."

There was something in her voice that made my stomach drop.

"Jess, what is it?" I leaned my back against the brick wall and dragged on my cigarette, exhaling white into the icy, late February wind.

She took a deep breath, "Jake called. He-"

Choking on the smoke in my throat, I sputtered and went from zero to fucked off in one second. "What the fuck? Oh my God, Jess, I'm so fucking sorry. Did he-"

"No it's ok. Honestly," she paused again, and then continued, "He said Charlie was in a hunting accident. He's in the hospital in Forks."

"Oh, shit."

My legs couldn't hold me up, and I slid down the wall, not caring that my jacket rode up, exposing my stomach to the cool air. I felt hollow, my brain didn't know how to process this.

"Honey, I'm sorry to tell you this over the phone. What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if Charlie would want me there."

"Regardless, do you want to be there?"

"Jess, I don't-"

"Bella, you can do this. Whatever your decision is, if you need me, just say."

I nodded, but realized she couldn't see me. I forced words out of my tight throat, "Ok, Jess."

"Ok hun, take care. Love you."

I nodded, and hung up.

I dropped the butt of my cigarette onto the ground and ground it out under my boot heel.

"Fuck." What was I supposed to do? If I went and Charlie rejected me, I don't think I could deal with that. If I didn't go, I was rejecting him.

It was three hours until the end of my shift, and I robotically moved over the set pieces we were building, not even realizing I was double nailing things until Mike pointed it out to me.

It was pushing six, and I knew if I was going to see Charlie in Forks. I would have to let James know I wouldn't be in for a couple of days. He had been hiding out in his office a lot more since his accident outside of the theater. In some ways I felt sorry for him, no one deserved to be mugged or attacked, but then, I felt like karma had come back and slammed his ass into a brick wall.

I knocked lightly on the door, my mind set on seeing Charlie.

"Come in."

I stepped inside, and closed the door. James looked up from some paperwork. A pair of half moon reading glasses was perched on the end of his nose. It was horrible, but I had an urge to slap them off his face.

His greasy hair was clubbed back in the ever present ponytail, and today he wore a mustard yellow silk shirt.

"James, my dad is in hospital. I'm not gonna be in over the weekend."

He looked up, his blue eyes met mine and then he looked back down at the paper.

"And?"

"So. Is that ok?"

"Yes, Swan."

I stood there kinda dumb; usually he made me work for things. There had to be a catch.

"Why are you still standing there?" He didn't even look up when he spoke.

"I'm not really sure, I'm waiting for you to be a douche, James."

He looked up at me now, his face restrained, "Just go, Swan." His eyes returned to the paperwork in front of him.

I blinked at him. He looked up again at me, and before he said anything nasty to me, I hightailed it out of his door.

I made a beeline for the locker area and grabbed my stuff before anyone could stop me on my way out. Pulling my leather jacket on, I checked my phone as I walked out the door for any further messages. There was one from Edward.

**I sincerely hope that is a promise you will see fulfilled to the finish, Bella. **

I smirked at his response, it was just so him.

I put my phone back into my pocket and pulled my helmet on. I auto piloted all the way home, and was in the door without really remembering the drive home. Moving quickly towards the stairs, I made my way towards my room, and pulled a small weekend bag from the top of the closet.

I started throwing stuff in, trying to make a mental note of how many days and nights I would be away. I left the bag on the bed. I had eventually replaced the furniture in here, but had yet to actually spend the night in this room. I was sleeping in Jess's old room lately.

I left the bag to gather some of my stuff from the bathroom. I collected my toiletries, and shoved them in a small black bag that had little red cherries all over it.

My mind was totally on Charlie, and I was trying to not remember the last couple of years, but the years when we had been able to at least laugh awkwardly around each other. When he had shown me how to strum my guitar, when he would come home late from his shift at the police station, and I would be a sophomore in high school, heating up lasagna in the microwave while pouring over my algebra homework.

I was back in the garage, the bag slung into the backseat. I started the car, and backed down the drive, shutting the garage door remotely. The headlights cut through the twilight darkness as I sped along the road leading out of town.

It was foggy, almost to the point of eerie, and I played with the radio to fill the silence. I hadn't made this drive in a long time; hadn't seen Charlie in years. My eyes started to sting, and I was half frustrated with myself for caring with him, and half frustrated that I refused to allow myself to really acknowledge how I felt about my father.

I steadied the wheel with my knees while I lit a cigarette.

It was midnight by the time I reached Forks. The small town was quiet, the only movement was the odd battered Ford truck cruising through an intersection. I was glad I was arriving this time, my Mustang was recognizable, and with a town this small, I wanted to keep a low profile.

My first port of call was the hospital, I knew it was well outside of visiting hours, but I might as well try and get my own information first.

I parked the car outside of the small hospital, and got out into the nearly deserted parking lot. Heading towards the old familiar sliding glass doors, a cold breeze rustled my hair over my shoulders.

It was sorta surreal, walking in here. I felt like a different person now, and being under the buzzing fluorescent light was like stepping into a past life.

I went over to the desk, and I swear that nurse has worked here for her entire life. I remember her face from the countless times I'd been here as a clumsy teenager.

"As I live and breathe, Bella Black!" I grimaced at the use of my married name. She noticed and quickly tried to make up for it, "Or I guess it's Swan again. Are you here to see your father? Of course you are," she leaned over the desk to stage whisper at me, "Visiting hours are over, but seeing as you're our Chief's daughter, you might as well go back and talk to the nurse on duty. It's towards the back, near the ICU, honey."

I followed along the sterile tiled corridor, the walls white and broken up by wooden doors to the private rooms of patients. The hospital had been redone since the last time I visited.

Outside each door was a small white board with the each patient's last name, and their doctor's name underneath. I stopped outside the door that said Charles Swan and underneath, Dr. Cullen.

_I wonder if he's related to Edward in some indirect way. That would be too weird. _

I made my way to the nurses station, where a nurse with bright red hair sat. She was about to reprimand me, but then she seemed to recognize my face.

"You shouldn't be back here, Ms. Swan."

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet.

_God, I want a cigarette. Right. Fucking. Now. _

"I know, but Mrs. Weber sent me back, and said I should at least get an update."

The nurse cleared her throat and shuffled through some files.

"Your father's doctor is Doctor Cullen. He's in just now, making his night time rounds. There is a waiting room off to the left with a coffee machine inside if you want to wait. I'll let him know you're here."

I shuffled towards the waiting room, and dug in my pocket for change. The coffee was horrible, but I didn't really taste it. My stomach was in knots, and I was trying not to think really horrible thoughts.

What if Charlie had died, his dead body was really in this hospital right now, and she didn't want to be the one that told me. Why were they making me wait?

And I fucking waited. For nearly six hours.

Around eight, I was flicking through a five year old National Geographic when a nurse poked her head in the door.

"I walked by and saw you in here. I can't believe they left you in here all night. Do you want to come and see your dad? They are just giving him breakfast."

I nodded and got up. She led me down the hallway to my father's room, and I couldn't take my eyes from the stupid bunnies all over her scrubs. There was something about the fluffy cutesy crap that made me want to punch her.

_I need coffee. It's too early for this kind of violent thinking. _

The door opened just before I reached it, and out walked a handsome doctor, his blonde hair and pale chiseled features reminded me of a Ken doll, come to life.

"Hey. Doctor-" He didn't even turn around, he was in too much of a hurry.

I entered the room, and my eyes blurred at the tubes and wires. I looked at the machine that measured my father's heartbeats, his blood pressure. Numbers and figures confirming that he was alive.

For all the horrible things he'd said to me, he was still my father. I unclenched my fists, and stepped closer to the bed. If he died, I would be alone: no family, no brothers and sisters, no grandparents, aunts or uncles. I would be truly alone. "Dad?"His eyelids fluttered, and I took his hand. He was my dad, and when I looked into his brown eyes, I saw a little of myself. I was ready to forgive him, he was my father, and deep down past the hurt, I did love him.

"Hi, Dad."He swallowed as his eyes fluttered. His face twitched, and he almost looked annoyed with me, "Where's Jake?"I thought that my heart was done breaking during the divorce, and during the estrangement with my father. But those two words, hoarsely uttered, cut deep into my throat, and sliced me wide open to my gut. I couldn't speak, I felt as if he'd slapped me. Then his voice was at my back, like a knife."Right here."

I dropped my father's hand, and turned around.

Jake stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

His dark eyes met mine and I felt my lip involuntarily curl. He smirked at me and moved to Charlie's other side.

"Hey, old man."

Charlie's face lit up like a goddam Christmas tree at Jake.

"Hey, Sport! Still tossing that ball around?"

Jake chuckled, "Yeah. Threw a beautiful fifty yard pass last week."

"I saw that. That arm of yours is a work of art."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm just gonna wait outside."

They didn't even acknowledge me, and I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I took a deep breath and walked back through the hospital. My ears were thundering, roaring, and my head felt like it was going to fucking collapse on itself. My chest was tight, and my hand grabbed for the opposite shoulder, while I tried to hold myself together.

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, I just wanted the fuck out of here.

Why did I bother to come back? Why was I even here?

_Because he's your father and you love him. _

I wanted to scream _I DON'T _at that voice over and over again, until my throat was fucking raw. I reached the car and got in. I sat there for a moment, just breathing. The image of Jake and Charlie together, smiling, while I stood there, watching them both, it was too much.

I lost it. I started punching and hitting the steering wheel, shouting and screeching at it, while the ache in my chest continued to build. Until finally, I collapsed over it, painful sobs tearing up my throat.

God, I fucking hate this place. I hate it and I never want to come back here.

Ever.

I was fumbling with my cigarettes, and my hands were shaking as I flicked the lighter. I took a deep drag, swiped at my face, and started the car. Pulling out of the parking lot, I drove towards the main road through town. I didn't even realize it was raining until the stop lights blurred from the water on the windshield.

I pulled into the dull lights of the first motel I passed, finding a parking spot near the front. It was off season for tourism, they would probably be empty.

I plodded into the lobby, my bag slung over my shoulder. A plump girl with bright red hair and bored blue eyes sat behind the desk. She looked up as I stepped to the worn desk.

"Hi. What can I do for you?"

An eyebrow piercing winked in the electric lighting, it seemed at odds with her polyester hotel uniform. I didn't know her face, she must be new in town or from Port Angeles.

"Um. I need a room."

"Sure. How many are in your party?"

Party. Ha.

"Just one," I answered. She took a few more details from me, and I passed my credit card over the desk to her. She ran it through, and handed it back to me.

"Ok, that's fine. Here's your key. It's a little early for check in, but we're totally empty just now, so you can go on up. Breakfast is served from seven, you might just make it if you're hungry. If you need anything just buzz."

I took the key and found the elevators. I felt tired, and I wondered vaguely if I would be able to sleep.

Once on the third floor, I found my room and opened the door with the key card. I flicked the light on, and was unsurprised by the cheap decoration.

Flipping the TV on, I threw my bag down, laid my jacket on the dresser. My feet felt too heavy, as I stumbled towards the bed, and collapsed on top of it.

I must have drifted off, when I opened my eyes, it was six in the evening. It was odd, I didn't normally drift off to sleep like that, and not for such long periods.

Usually my insomniac ass was up all night. The only times I really slept was after Edward and I-

_Oh shit. _

I forgot to tell Edward I was in Forks.

He had been really protective lately. Not in a horrible, where the hell have you been, way. Just the way he moved, his hands on me, as if I were made of glass. He was so careful with me, and showed up to make sure I didn't walk by myself to my car when I did later shifts.

I got up, and picked up my jacket, searching through the pockets. Pulling it out, I quickly switched it on.

There were three missed calls, and I dialed my voicemail to listen through the messages. Two from Jess wondering if I was ok, and one from Edward, asking where I was.

I quickly dialed Edward's number.

"Bella." His voice in my ear made some of the anxiety in my chest melt.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. My father is unwell, and I've had to drive over to see him."

"Where are you?"

"In Forks, Washington."

"You're in Forks?" There was something odd about his voice.

"Um. Yeah. Why? Have you been here before?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Suffice to say, it was a very long time ago," he paused, then continued, "You are alone?"

"Yeah. I've already been to the hospital. Charlie, my dad, is his usual self." I could feel my mouth tightening at the mention of him.

"I will be there in an hour."

"You don't have to do-" I started, but the line was already dead. I stared at the phone, not really sure how to feel. Part of me was secretly excited that Edward would be here with me, and another part didn't want Forks and Edward to mix.

I felt there were so many parts of my old self here, and it didn't mix well with my new self, like oil and water.

I stretched, and my stomach gurgled.

Sighing, I decided I would see if there was somewhere I could get something to eat. Reaching for the bag I'd brought up, I pulled out a change of clothes and the stuff I needed for the shower. The spray felt good, and I washed away the grogginess of my nap.

I dried my hair, and slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans and black beater. It was still quite cold outside, so I pulled a cardigan out of my bag and buttoned it up. It was black with an appliqué pair of dice on the right just under my collarbone. Jess had found it one year, and had given it to me as a birthday present.

I pulled on a pair of black converse and grabbed my purse and room key.

The hallway was dank and quiet, and the elevator was the same. The woman behind the counter was still sitting there, only she was filing her nails now. She waved as I walked by.

I zipped my leather jacket as I stepped outside and shoved my hands in the pockets. Pulling my cigarettes out, I tugged one out of the pack, and lit it. Inhaling and then blowing the smoke into the air above me, I walked towards the Mustang. It had stopped raining, and even though it was cold, I wondered if it would be better to walk rather than advertise I was in town.

I flicked ash into the parking lot and decided if I walked, at least it would stretch out the kinks. I took off down the main street. It was dark enough that the little streetlights were already on, and I flicked my finished cigarette into the street.

I came to an intersection and on my right was a diner. But it wasn't just any diner, it was a diner my father and I had frequented often, either because he couldn't cook, or he was celebrating something. The last time we'd been in there was probably his birthday, but that was years ago.

There was no way in hell I was going in there.

Across the street was an old bar, with a sign in the window that said _Yes! We serve food! _Standing outside the wooden doors was a guy who looked like he preferred dirt baths, and hadn't had a haircut since his fiftieth birthday, and he was now pushing sixty. He wore dirty denim jeans, and a ragged denim jacket. In his hand he held a pool stick, and he stood smoking a cigarette.

Rowdy honky-tonk music spilled into the street when he turned around and walked back inside.

I looked back at the diner, and decided I would take my chances in the bar.

It wasn't so bad on the inside, other than the sticky floor. There were the usual neon signs advertising beer and bourbon. The guy behind the bar stood polishing a glass, he looked clean and friendly. There were a few old boys playing pool at the back, and most of the other occupants were staring at the sports game on the TV. Something from the Eagles was playing quietly in the background from the speakers, which looked like they had seen better days, tacked to the corners of the room.

I walked up to the bar, and the barman acknowledged me as he ambled over.

"What you drinkin, Darlin?"

I shuddered internally at the word, as a pair of whiskey eyes blinked at me in my memories.

"Bottle of Bud. You got a menu there?"

He nodded as he produced my Bud, and I handed him a fiver.

The menu was basic, and I ordered a cheeseburger, hoping it was safe.

The food was served quickly, and the stodge made me feel better. I hadn't realized exactly how hungry I was until I started eating. I practically licked the grease proof paper the food was served on in the little plastic basket.

I ordered another Bud, and tried to mellow. The _click clack _of the game of pool was oddly soothing.

My mind wandered to my father. I used to wonder why it had never worked out between him and mom. They had always seemed like the most wonderful people in the world, and maybe I viewed them through the eyes of a little girl. My parents could do no wrong.

At least I had thought so.

I took a drink from the longneck and realized I was so jaded. I was that divorced jaded woman.

My thoughts were interrupted by the gush of an icy wind as the door opened.

In walked Jake, and I tensed like a rattler. If I had a tail, it would be shaking like crazy, trying to warn him to stay the fuck away from me.

But then, Jake had always been more brawn than brains.

He sat down next to me, and it didn't take long. The slimy bastard actually smirked, waiting for it.

"Hey! Hey you're Billy Black's son! You're Jake Black!"

It was one of the pool players from the back. The pool game abruptly stopped while they paid Jake homage. The men crowded around him, and the voice that had shouted originally spoke again.

"Tarnation, boy! What are you drinking? You won me two hundred bucks last week. Old Waylon had to pay up, didn't ya?"

Waylon had the couth to look sheepish for betting against the hometown hero, "Well, the other team did have-"

"Shut up, Waylon and let the boy talk."

I rolled my eyes and got up, his presence making me feel disgusted.

I was outside, walking back towards the road when I heard him shout my name, "Bella! Wait up."

"Fuck you asshole," I said under my breath, and kept walking.

He caught up to me anyways, and grabbed my arm.

I turned on him, "Jake. What the fuck are you doing here?" The sight of him, made me want to scratch his eyes out.

"I could ask you the same thing. I was driving by and saw your car at the hotel. This was the first place I pulled into."

I rolled my eyes at him, wrenching my arm away from his hand, and turning to walk down the road.

"Bella, wait!"

This was really grating on my nerves now. We were now in the hotel parking lot, which was not very well lit. I walked towards the other entrance, not really wanting an audience if it came to a confrontation with Jake.

He walked along side me and I couldn't even look at him when I spoke, "What the fuck do you want, Jake?"

"I want what's mine."

I snorted, "Are you out of your mind? I don't think so Jake."

He sneered at me, "I pay for it once a month, you might as well be mine. Bought and paid for."

I blinked at him. Alimony had been his get out of divorce court free card. He had been the one to offer it, so the divorce would be kept as quiet as possible.

"Fuck right off, Jake, that ain't ever gonna happen. I would rather ride a splintered doorknob then let you anywhere near me again."

The other entrance was at a quieter corner of the hotel, and there wasn't a soul in sight as he forced me into a dark corner outside the doorway.

"Looks like we're all alone here. No pretty boy to protect you now." There was a look in his eyes that made my stomach roll.

"Let's get one thing straight: I'm not the little girl you married, and if you think you can get into my face and intimidate me, you better be ready to lose a testicle."

He snorted, "You better watch your mouth, little girl."

"Or what? The big bad wolf is gonna take a bite outta me? Why are you such a fucking cliché, Jake? Your mother must roll in her grave hourly."

One minute his hand was at his side, and the next he backhanded me. It was enough to snap my face around. I held my hand to my cheek, could feel the pulse of blood, and the throbbing sting.

"Walk away, Jake. Last chance before I brake your fucking face. I'm telling you to turn around and forget I exist."

"You ain't gonna do shit, Bella. And I'm not walking away, you're mine until your heart stops."

He reached for me, and in a reaction that was almost instinct, I jumped forward. I brought my leg up, in a move I never thought I would use on another person, although I had dreamed of Jacob's face every time I landed my leg on the gym bag.

My shin bone connected with his jaw and he went down like a house made of cards. He blinked, and tried to get up. I felt my fingernails dig into my palm, my fists were so tight, but I didn't take my eyes from him.

"Are you done, Jacob? Are we finally finished?"

He struggled to get up, but eventually did, his hulking frame seeming too heavy for his bones. He flexed his jaw, his hand rubbing his face.

"It's never going to be finished, Bella," he said, wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth.

There was a whisper of wind, and a ferocious growl erupted in the air around us. I blinked and Edward was there, holding Jacob by the throat.

"I believe we had an arrangement wherein I allowed you to remain breathing in exchange for your complete distance from me and Ms. Swan. It would appear that arrangement has now come to an end."

* * *

**A/N**

**Next chapter, entirely EPOV. I've missed him too.**

**Srs Bsns:**

**1) Yes, I'm doing FGB auction. More info is on my profile, or you can find me on the FGB website.**

**2) Mr ElusiveTwilight has also kindly agreed to participate. My husband is Scottish, and has agreed to read a chapter of Midnight Sun, delivered to the lucky auction winner…**

**3)I owe some thank yous to people:**

**-thank you to Lambie who reviewed IA over at Twificpimps.**

**-thank you to bleriana for including me with some other fabulous ladies at her blog, The Cold Shower.**

**-thank you to Larac over at RAoR for including me in her top 20 of 2010. And to JAG as well, for always being so supportive.**

**Last but not least, and I'm gonna get sappy and I'm sorry. I probably won't update before July 1st so I'll have to do it now.**

**I want to say thank you to KStew411 for being so supportive of me as a fanfic writer. I remember hyperventilating when she rec'd The Rain Season on twitter, and then reviewed it as one of her first weekly rec's at RobMyWorld. Her snark is hilarious, and besties' too and I, personally, will miss you ladies a lot on twitter. Thanks for all the fresh news, and being one of the saner voices out there in the fandom.**

**411 & Bestie are collecting on behalf of Kristen Stewart for Alex's Lemonade Stand. Link below for more info. Just replace the (dot) with (.)**

**http:/kstew411(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2010/06/12/frequently-asked-questions/**


	21. Chapter 20: Ivanov

**A/N**

**Mrs Meyer owns all the Twilight stuff. I wonder if she owns one of the Edward dolls. And if she's taken his pants off yet. Cuz let's face it, it's fun when his pants are off...isn't it?**

**I've built a small shrine to the supreme lovelyness that is lambcullen, as she pink pens my demon, and is prob one of the bestest besties I've ever had.**

**Must also thank Snshyne for pre-reading, commenting, and all around awesomeness. She is a gem.**

**Music, of course:  
****Ace of Spades: Motorhead  
****Slither: Velvet Revolver  
****Dracula's Bride: Ours  
****Sweet Sacrifice: Evanesence  
****Cover Me: Candlebox**

**

* * *

**

'_To anyone looking at me this must seem appalling; I myself don't understand what is happening within my soul._'  
From Ivanov, by A Chekhov

EPOV

"I believe we had an arrangement wherein I allowed you to remain breathing, in exchange for your complete distance from me and Ms. Swan. It would appear that arrangement has now come to an end."

His throat flexed as he swallowed, and his heart pumped quickly in his chest. The smell of adrenaline and fear oozed from him, and I licked my teeth, smiling.

The venom in my mouth was ready, I would kill him, this was now an inevitability. The sound of his hand hitting her cheek had signed his death warrant.

Black's mind reeled with the look in my crimson eyes, he wondered if he was really seeing things as they were.

"I can assure you, Black, that this is a reality you only have minutes left to enjoy."

His head was a disgusting place. He held mental images of all the things he wished to inflict on Bella: tying her up, torturing her, listening to her cry in pain as he physically dominated her. The anger in his mind was fascinating.

No matter. His mortal flesh was held beneath my fingers. Gravity may have held him to this earth physically, but his soul would soon find the judgment it deserved.

I flicked my wrist, and watched as he flew across the parking lot. Distantly, I heard Bella's gasp, and between one of her heartbeats and the next, I was beside him, pinning him. His mind reeled, he was stunned, but he finally recognized a dominant force.

"What the fuck are you?"

"Everything that you are not."

Lifting his arm, I examined him, and he begged in his mind that I leave his arm alone. It was his career, his livelihood.

I started with his fingers. He struggled against me, trying to stop me. I laughed quietly to myself, as I pondered over his appendage. It would have been easy to break his fingers initially, like a child snapping a twig.

But that was too quick and I am too old for fleeting fancies.

So I dislocated each finger first. And delighted in each grunt of pain, each tiny snap as the joints separated.

He cried out, and the beast howled with glee at his pain. Black's other hand came up, catching my arm, trying to stop me.

It was a mistake.

I caught his hand, and watched his mind spin like a kaleidoscope as agony etched into every cavity. I crumpled his fist like a piece of paper, and the bones clicked and popped as they broke.

He did not cry out, but he did not need to. His mind told me everything I needed to know, "Perhaps, if I let you live, you will think about this moment, for the rest of your life, and remember the time you hit a woman, and how much it cost you."

I watched his thoughts flicker to Bella. I leaned down until we were nose to nose.

"She. Is. Mine."

I bared my teeth to him, the hiss quickly turning to a snarl as terror made his chest contract.

"Edward! No!"

If this were another universe, another time, another world, she may have been able to stop me.

I did pause. I took stock of what I was about to do.

Did I really wish to feed from him? The smell of his blood was repugnant, and I did not want any of it inside of me.

I reached for my knife, the blade glinting in the moonlight.

I held my breath, trying not to concentrate on smells as I placed the knife to his throat. My hands were graceful, confident. The knife nicked into the skin just beneath his chin when a flash of another thought caught my attention.

Yet, it was too late to react.

Pain as I'd never felt before racked through my body, a fire so deep, I feared I had somehow combusted, and I was dying. I felt my body rise in agony, and I fell backward. Jacob struggled away from me.

It stopped abruptly, and the same apathetic stream of thoughts filtered into my mind.

_I know you can hear me, Cullen. Stay where you lie._

Small footsteps crunched over gravel, and I picked out Bella's heart beat from the noises around me. I opened my eyes to find a vampire I had only ever seen in other's memories.

Jane.

Her red eyes seemed odd in her otherwise angelic face. She had blond hair and the same red crimson eyes as myself. She was turned quite young, barely sixteen, and if it weren't for the cold boredom on her face as she regarded me, she would have looked young and innocent.

She was the handmaiden of Aro, her formidable ability to make others feel pain instantly, with just a look, made her a powerful asset to the Volturi's house.

_We heard the commotion just as we were departing this place. Surely Caius taught you better. _

There was another set of footsteps nearby, I was on my feet and in front of Bella while I assessed the parking lot.

Taking his place next to Jane was another servant of the Volturi, Demetri. His mind was quiet as he observed my protective stance next to Bella.

Jacob, dazed, had staggered to his feet, his arm dangling useless at his side. He did not notice there was more than Bella and I in the parking lot. Stupidly, he tried to make threats.

"You're fuckin' crazy," he pointed at me, and staggered across the road. He had decided to drive himself to the hospital, and his vehicle was parked not too far away.

I heard it coming before he did, my hearing more acute, and not dulled by pain or alcohol.

He did not, however. He turned around in the middle of the road to shout something else, and I pulled Bella against me, shielding her eyes. Quietly, we melted into the shadows against the building of the hotel.

The two ton truck was going too fast to stop, and the smack of human flesh hitting the truck, the metal crunching, brakes squealing, and horn blaring caused quite a commotion. The smell of blood, of broken bones filled the air, and I stopped breathing to keep the stench out of my nostrils.

Bella's whole body was tense, and she trembled from the sounds I could not keep from her ears.

Jane, undisturbed from the accident behind her, spoke.

"We will continue this another time, Edward."

They disappeared into the night, a whisper of sound as they moved too quickly for human eyes.

She tried to free herself from my arms, but I tightened them around her, "Don't look."

The truck driver was on his radio, shouting for help.

I looked down at Bella's dark head, her face was tucked against my neck, her warm shallow breaths hitting my cool skin. She was shaking still, and I knew I had to get her inside.

"You have a room here."

Her voice was barely a whisper against me, "Yes."

"Give me the key to your room."

She moved her arm between us and reached into her denim pocket and pulled out of the plastic card. She handed it to me and I moved us towards the side door. It was quiet inside of the hotel, we met no one in the hallway.

"What room?"

"Three hundred -seven," she murmured.

I moved towards the elevators and depressed the button. The doors clanged open, and I pulled Bella in with me. The ride up was short and I moved with her, I monitored her breathing, her heart. Her pulse was flying, her lungs filling and exhaling at an almost alarming rate.

I slid the card inside the lock, and the door clicked open. Bella stumbled forward into the room. I caught her before she hit the ground and carried her in, as the door shut behind us.

The lights were off, and I left the room dark. Sirens wailed outside, and blue and red lights of the emergency vehicles flashed into the hotel room.

I placed Bella on the bed and closed the curtains.

Her eyes remained open in the darkness, but she was staring at nothing. Her mind was working and she had withdrawn internally. How frustrating again, to not hear what was inside her head.

"Bella?"

Her voice was hoarse when she answered me, "He's dead, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Oh God." Her voice trembled, and a fist came up to her mouth, "I don't know how to feel about that. I really don't. Is that wrong?"

"No," I responded. If she was querying emotional responses, I could relate maybe more than she knew. I was learning from her.

She sat up, and I was beside her.

"You should rest."

She shook her head, trying to move past me, "I'm gonna be sick."

_Sick?_

She ran awkwardly into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. The click of the toilet seat lifting and knocking into the tank could be heard and the sound of her retching was next.

I stood, and looked outside. The paramedics were zipping the top of a black body bag on a stretcher. The truck driver was speaking to uniformed police officers, and red flares burned in the middle of the road leading up to the accident scene.

Bella panted in the toilet, and I turned my head, listening to the sounds coming from the bathroom. I heard the shower start and the rustle of clothing.

I turned back to the accident, giving Bella some time to herself.

My mind turned back to Jane's sudden arrival.

She had been careful with her thoughts, not revealing too much as to the reason of her visit. I can only assume they have finally come to investigate the death of Jasper. If it is more than that, if it is Bella as well, I will have no further choice.

I will either have to kill her or change her.

A whisper of memory flitted through my mind.

_They are cattle, Edward. _

I turned from the window, replacing the curtains so that no light from the outside could leak through them.

Water pounded inside the bathroom, I could hear it hitting her skin. I opened the door and steam billowed into the room. I paused, watching the glow of the bathroom light seep through it.

I was drawn in, and shut the door quietly behind me. The bathroom mirror was fogged, and I had an urge to wipe away the moisture.

My hand dragged across the silvered surface, revealing my face, my red crimson eyes. The monster.

_Could I do the same to Bella? Could I take from her?_

I swallowed venom back, as the smell of her wet skin permeated the steam around me.

I raised the long sleeved t-shirt I was wearing over my head and worked quickly to divest myself of the rest of my clothing. I stood naked in front of the billowing shower curtain, listening to water, to her blood running thick and wet through her veins.

She sighed then, long, and deep. I imagined water dripping from her breasts, trickling over her nipples. Her chest expanding and contracting, oxygen enriching her blood, the hot water running into her hair, down her back, over her backside.

I wanted to bite her there. Not to drink. Just to feel the soft flesh between my teeth, and listen to her gasp of surprise.

I moved the shower curtain back and she jumped, her hand flying to her throat, and then to her breasts, covering herself. She moved one leg across the other, crossing them, and attempted to angle her body away from me. She had the water turned on to a higher heat, the punishing temperature bringing blood to the closer surface of her skin. She was flushed, ripe, and I wanted more than a taste.

"Y-you scared me." The make-up from her eyes ran down her face like black tears.

"I want you."

Something flickered across her face, as she continued to hide her breasts from my view.

She shook her head, "Not right now, Edward. I can't."

My eyes widened in response. Before I could say anything else, she shook her head at me and continued, "I just can't. Please try to understand. That's a big part of my life that just ended out there, and I don't know how to process it."

She was begging, her pale face drawn. One of her hands reached out, providing me with a brief glance of more skin before her other hand covered where its sister had been.

She moved to slowly pull the curtain back over, concealing herself from me.

I could feel my jaw tick as I clenched my teeth.

Weeks of contemplating her demise, and mine, as well as battling the natural side of my unnatural nature culminated into the action that I took next.

My arm raised, and I grabbed the shower curtain. I pulled at it violently, and the sound of the tiny plastic rings popping echoed in the bathroom. The plastic sheet fell away onto the floor. Hard water sprayed from the harsh shower head, escaping from the previously confined area.

She yelped in fear, and the sound of it combined with the smell of it excited me. After being denied my kill earlier, I needed to replace the instinct with other stimulus.

She was talking, but I wasn't listening. I shut her out, only isolating the sounds I needed, her accelerating heart beat, her short breaths. Water continued to spray, and I felt my cock leap at the sight of her slick skin, and I wanted nothing more than to gouge a hole in the tiles with my fists as I fucked her senseless.

Vaguely, her voice penetrated the roar of lust in my ears.

"Edward, please."

"Please what?" I asked, as I stepped into the tub with her. Water that should be scalding caressed my skin and I pulled her against me. I hissed, as her skin met mine, inhaling her scent, and swallowed the gathering venom in my mouth.

She was panting now, her nostrils flared, trying to scent me as well. My hard length caressed her stomach as I moved closer. My body pressed her into the tiles of the shower, as I laid my hands on either side of her head. Her nipples peaked, flushing rose, and as I watched them, I felt my hands crumble the cheap porcelain behind her.

She licked her lips as water fell into her hair, her face. She blinked, her wet black lashes fluttering, "Edward-I-"

Before she could say more, I cupped her face and held her in place while my lips dominated hers. She whimpered, fought me at first, but gave in, her hands sliding up my wet skin and into my hair. I pressed her back against the wall, forgetting to be gentle, and her head hit the tiles. She gasped into my mouth and pulled my hair. My hands reached down for her ass, as I punished her mouth with mine.

She bit my lower lip.I growled, moving my hips against her, needing. My cock slid between our bodies, and she hissed. Our mouths broke apart briefly, and her breathing was harsh, loud.  
She tasted of Bella.

It was violently intoxicating.

Real tears streamed down her cheek, mingling with the dark make up.

"I feel so numb, Edward."

Her lips brushed against mine, as her hips pushed against me, pleading, "Fuck me."

Before she could blink, before she could move, I lifted her hips, and she spread her legs, wrapping them around my waist.

I grunted loudly as I thrust deep inside of her, and she matched with a high pitched gasp.

"Hard, Edward." She moved her hips, grinding.

Knowing if I was not careful, I could shatter her, I slid my hands to her ass, and withdrew, then in again, deeper.

"Oh fuck," she moaned. I moved my hips faster, needing her this way as much as she needed it.

Her flesh was searing hot, and the friction of her body grasping mine, her muscles tight around me as her thighs squeezed my hips. She urged me on, the sounds she was making were wild, primitive and matched my own.

I moved deeper, pressing her further, her skin sliding against mine and I sucked at the skin of her neck without drinking. Her breathing broke and then sped up, her heart skipped a beat and her muscles seized. Her fingernails scratched futilely at my back. Once I felt her start, I wasn't far behind her, thrusting deep as I released inside her.

I smelled more than sex, more than her, and realized tears were streaming down her face again.

She had sobbed through her orgasm.

She patted my shoulder, "Set me down, please."

I gritted my teeth, and slowly put her down. I withdrew and her breath hitched. She reached down to turn the water off, as she continued to huff intermittently. The smell of our sex surrounded us, but I was perplexed by her behavior.

I tilted my head, studying her, "You are hurt?" I could smell no blood, but perhaps I was too rough.

She shook her head, "No."

I moved aside so could step out of the tub, but grabbed for her when she almost fell. I was by her side, holding her naked form to me.

"You are not alright."

She sniffled, "I am. I really am. I just need to lay down, I think."

Her eyes would not meet mine, and I brought her chin up with my hand to look into her eyes.

"You are sure you are unhurt?"

Her mouth tightened slightly, but she told the truth when she nodded her head, so I let it go.

We dried off in silence, and Bella walked out of the bathroom ahead of me, with her towel wrapped around her. I pulled my jeans on and followed her out. She had collapsed on the bed, still in her towel, still naked underneath.

I pulled the blankets up on the other side of the bed, and put them around her. She stared unseeing at the wall opposite her.

I took my place on the other side of the bed, and stared at the ceiling. She sighed deeply, but her chest caught on a hiccup.

Eventually, the minutes ticked by into hours, and Bella's breathing evened into a fitful sleep. She rolled towards me in sleep, her warm hands stroking my chest while she dreamed.

I mulled over Jane's appearance, and what this meant for me, and for the human sleeping restlessly beside me. It would appear time was running out, if an envoy had been sent to make sure I was behaving myself.

When it was early morning, she stirred, yawned, and opened her eyes. Her eyes were confused at first, as her hand ran over my skin, warmed by her body heat. She seemed not sure where she was, and then her face almost crumbled when she remembered.

"Oh God. All that really happened, didn't it?"

"Yes."

She sat up, a hand on my chest to steady herself. I growled lowly at the shadow of a bruise on her face.

"What is it?"

Trying to control myself, I murmured lowly, "He left a mark on your face."

Her hand went to her cheek, her fingers tracing over what must be a tender spot.

She was quiet, and the room was still dark from the curtains that were pulled over the window. Light seeped from underneath them, creating a serrated edge of dull gray on the cheap carpet. The spatter of morning rain could be heard against the windows.

She took a deep breath, and attempted to extricate herself from the cocoon she was wrapped in. She emerged with difficulty, but eventually found her way out, arms, then torso and finally long legs. Her nudity was beautiful to me, her scent no longer muffled by polyester and wool, it hit me full force, and my throat burned.

She sat on the edge of the bed, the perfect curve of her back, her skin flawless and milky in the darkness. Her hair fell like a rolling black cloud down her back. Her hands reached for the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand and pulled one out. The smell of tobacco burning filled the air, and a ring of smoke gathered above her head, as she exhaled smoke from her lungs.

She bent down, and pulled a small duffel bag up from the floor, placing it on the bed. She riffled through it, pulling out a change of clothes, then went to the bathroom to change, closing the door quietly behind her.

Later on found us downstairs in the shabby hotel restaurant, with Bella pushing her eggs around her plate. She had covered the bruise with make-up, but I could still see it. Her eyes met mine several times as if she was going to speak and then changed her mind.

I shifted in my chair, the glass of orange juice in front of me untouched.

"You are driving me close to madness, Bella. Say what you need to say."

She swallowed and looked up, her brown eyes darting to mine. I was wearing blue tinted glasses to hide the worst of the crimson in my irises.

"There's just so much to take in. Now that he's…gone, and I still don't know how to feel about it, I just don't know how to deal with all this."

I leaned forward, folding my hands in my lap, "I suppose death," she flinched at the word, "is something I feel unaffected by."

She pressed her lips together, and closed her eyes for a moment.

Clearing her throat, she changed the topic, "I'm going to see my dad, and then I'm going back to Seattle. Are you-do you want to come with me?"

"It would be prudent for me to stay close to you at this juncture. You seem to attract unwanted attention everywhere you go."

She blinked at me, and then her brows drew together, "What do you mean?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "If you do not remember, nothing would be served by reminding you."

"But-"

I tipped my glasses down so she could see my eyes, "Leave it, Bella."

"Do not talk to me like I'm a child, Edward. I've been there, done that," she hissed.

"Very well. But this is not a conversation I wish to have in the middle of a dingy hotel."

She pursed her lips in further protest, but did not say another word.

Eventually she finished pushing her food around, and I escorted her through the check out. The woman behind the desk kept sneaking sly glances at me. I stepped forward once Bella had handed over the keys, and was presented with a receipt. Placing a roll of hundred dollar bills on the counter I leaned forward, giving the receptionist my full attention.

Her eyes dulled slightly and her mouth hung open as she regarded me.

"I believe there may be some repairs that are in order for the room. I trust this should cover it, and your complete discretion?"

She nodded.

"Wonderful. I'm glad we could reach an agreement," I stroked her face and she closed her eyes.

I turned to Bella, "Let's go."

As we walked outside, I felt Bella shudder, her eyes went to a dark spot on the road, and the burned out ash of where the police had left the remnants of their flares.

Once inside the car, she lit a cigarette and then pulled out of the parking lot. We arrived shortly at the hospital, and Bella stubbed her cigarette under her boot heel.

As soon as she walked in, she was hailed by a woman behind the main desk, "Bella. Oh Bella have you heard, honey?"

"About what?"

"Oh honey, about Jake? He was hit by a Mack truck last night." The woman was not interested in telling Bella, more about spreading the gossip of the hometown hero and seeing Bella's reaction.

Bella nodded, "I know. It was right outside of my hotel."

"Oh my God, you saw the whole thing, then? What happened? Leave nothing out, you poor dear."

Bella cleared her throat, "Actually, I'm just hear to see Charlie, if that's OK?"

The woman's eyes were disappointed, and her mind shouted what her drawn lips withheld.

_Silly little bitch. You never knew what was good for you. _

The woman nodded, and I followed Bella down several corridors. The acrid smell of cleanser filled my nostrils, as well as transfused blood, various liquid medication, and the general smell of _malade_.

I picked various strains of thoughts and shut them out. I hated hospitals, hated the smell, sights, and sounds. It was all so heavy, especially to my heightened senses.

I was trying to focus solely on Bella, when a scent I knew very well hit me.

_Carlisle._

Surely he has not come back to this place after so many years. I must be wrong. I had to be.

Bella stopped outside of a door marked Swan and underneath it, the name Cullen.

By Christ, he is back in this town. Would he have anything to do with Jane's presence? Perhaps they were not here for me? Carlisle was much closer to the Volturi than I.

"You go in, Bella. I'll meet you in the waiting room we passed." She nodded, and disappeared behind the door.

I walked back the way we came, his scent was everywhere now that I was looking for it. He must be working as a doctor again. I rolled my eyes behind the lenses of my glasses.

Carlisle, the modern day Saint Vampire. I wondered if he helped himself to the stocked blood supply.

I could hear his thoughts, he was close by. He was worrying over some patient, and I realized it was Bella's father.

_The tests confirm what I could detect by smell. Treatment will be difficult as the location is delicate. He may require surgery if the meds are unsuccessful…_

He rounded the corner I was waiting behind. I grabbed him by the collar, and found an empty room. Shutting the door behind us, his eyes took me in, his thoughts loud with surprise.

"Edward!"

I removed my glasses, and folded them, before placing them in the inside pocket of my leather jacket.

"Carlisle. I had forgotten what a small place Forks is."

"You are here with Isabella Swan?"

"That is none of your business."

"I know she is in town for her father. Did you know her ex-husband was killed last night? Ran over by a truck."

"I am aware."

His eyes narrowed, "How aware?"

I assumed a casual pose against the wall, "Aware enough to know it is time to leave town."

_I knew it_, his thoughts screamed.

I quirked a brow at him, "Judge and jury now, are we? What you don't know is that everyone's hero was a piece of scum who ground his ex-wife underneath his football studs, until she was nearly broken. There is a faint bruise on her cheek this morning, because he didn't know how to keep his hands to himself."

Carlisle crossed his arms, holding the clipboard he had in his hands to his chest. His golden eyes assessed me, "It sounds as if Ms. Swan is more than what she seems to be."

Unspoken, his thoughts mocked me, _Perhaps I should meet her. _

I growled lowly, "You will stay away from her."

"As you wish, Edward." Carlisle moved to the door and opened it. His eyes flickered, and his mind rested on Alice and her slowly decomposing state.

"If you should see Alice, please try to help her, Edward. She is not…well." He stepped into the hallway, and I followed him.

"I have tried with Alice. She will come out of this when she is ready."

"It is your fault."

I took a step towards him, "The fault is not with me. Jasper knew what he was doing, knew what he was heading for."

"Do you know why Jane and Demetri are in town?" I waited for his mind to process, and he did. I watched the brief discussion they had on behest of Aro yesterday.

It would appear Aro is looking to recruit Alice to his army and offered a place for her.

He broke the silence, "It is a good opportunity for her."

I neither agreed nor disagreed. Alice was the only one who knew what was good for her.

It was quiet between us, and his thoughts shifted to the way the coven used to be. Blind sheep following a crooked shepherd.

"You should come by sometime, Edward. You've held onto this grudge for a long time, it's time to move past it."

"It's not a grudge," I growled, "It's so much more than that."

I heard a door open down the hallway, and recognized Bella's heartbeat, the unique rhythms pumping steadily.

I heard her sniffle, and the smell of her tears carried across the corridor to me.

"It was good to see you, Edward. We miss you."

We, as in him and his mate, Esme, who considered herself a surrogate mother. I held no ill will for Esme, her capacity to love unconditionally was endless. He had made her as well, and in doing so, made sure she was damned with him.

I took a step towards him, until we were nose to nose. I didn't care if anyone saw us, let him make any explanations that were necessary.

I could hear Bella's footsteps as she walked towards us.

_Come by sometime, Edward. It's never too late._

"I'll see you in hell first." I pulled my glasses back on and turned my head to regard Bella, who had stopped just short of us.

"You are ready?"

She nodded, and moved forward, and I put a protective arm at her back. As she passed Carlisle, her eyes opened wide and she gasped under her breath.

Carlisle's thoughts echoed across to me, _Edward! She knows? _

I paused mid stride, and Bella stopped beside me.

"Yes, she knows."

_That sort of knowledge is very dangerous. _

I chose not to acknowledge him further, "Come, Bella."

She followed mutely beside me, her tears still streaming down her face. She reached up and wiped them away from her face, as we moved through and finally out of the hospital. She fumbled for the keys to the car in her pocket, and nearly dropped them in a puddle. Before she could reach down for them, I retrieved them from the mire.

"I'll drive."

She sniffed. "Ok."

She stood there, still, tears tracing over the established wet tracks over her face, smudging the make up cover her bruise, revealing the shadow.

There was something inside of me, something that told me I should be doing something, but I wasn't sure what it was.

Bella closed the distance between us, and I watched as she laid her cheek against my chest, her warmth slowly seeping through. She made a fist in the leather, and her other hand was around to my back. I felt her warm hand find its way underneath my jacket, underneath my shirt, to my cold skin. Her fingers moved over me, and I shuddered at her touch.

"Is this ok?" she whispered.

I nodded, and the burn of her scent was a dull ache in my throat, once again. I swallowed, "Yes."

"Would you-never mind." She angled her face down, but still pressed it against my chest.

"Would I what?" I asked.

"It's ok. Nevermind."

"Bella."

I heard her take a breath, "Would you put your arms around me?" She muttered against my jacket.

I lifted my arms, and placed them around her.

"Tighter."

I squeezed her, and she exhaled against me. We stood like that, in the parking lot, and I remembered that humans needed this, needed reassurance through touch.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome."

She moved to step back, and I released her.

She looked up at me, and then her eyes darted away, "I can drive if you want."

I shook my head, "No. I'll drive."

"OK," she acquiesced.

We got into the car, and I started the Mustang. It was a lovely specimen, and the engine purred as I pulled out of the hospital, and headed out of town.

I placed my tinted glasses in the console as Bella shifted in her seat, pulling her cigarettes out.

She turned to me as she cracked the window, "Do you mind if I smoke?"

My ruby eyes met her mortal brown.

"I don't think it will kill me," I smirked at her.

Her lips lifted in an answering smile at me and she lit the cigarette. She was quietly contemplative, and her silence was driving me to distraction.

"Your father, he is all right?"

She sniffed, "As all right as Charlie ever is. I-" she faltered, "I told him about Jake. He took it really bad. He told me to get out of his room, and to not come back."

There was a pause where she took several drags, and flicked cigarette ash out of the window.

She broke the silence, "Who was that you were speaking to in the hospital?"

"No one who matters."

She flicked her cigarette out of the window and rolled the glass up.

"Is he a vampire?" She said the last in a whisper.

I glanced at her face, "Yes."

"Why aren't his eyes red?"

My eyes went back to the road, "He does not feed on human blood. He denies what he is, and hunts animals instead."

"Why do you-"

I looked back at her, and perhaps too sharply I said to her, "You may ask me anything. Just be sure you are prepared for the answers you may receive, and the price you may pay for having such knowledge."

She shrunk into her seat, and I pushed the pedal down, giving the Mustang more gas, driving us further forwards.

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**A/N**

**Thanks for reading. ::waving:: at new readers and ::winking:: at the usual crowd. There were a lot of you last post, and I always appreciate your thoughts.**

**Ok. Some of you have very kindly nominated IA for The Vampies. We are up for, and srsly, these are the best categories ever:**

**Bloody Brilliant & Fangbanged (oh man, I want that on a t-shirt: I was nominated for best fangbang!)**

**There is a link on my profile if you would like to vote. Stiff competition, but it was very cool to be nominated. And pssst, the gorgeous lambcullen was nom'd for Best DarkVamp for Dark Possession. You must read if you like it dark and thirsty. Unf!**


	22. Chapter 21: Wicked

**A/N**

**Stephenie Meyer gave us the most perfect fictional character in the world…Edward Cullen. Melissa Rosenberg? Buttcrack Santa. Me? Nothin spesh. **

**I apologize for the delay in updates, RL has been a ULAL of epic proportions. **

**Gropes and neck bites to lambcullen, who is not only a great beta, but the best bestie. Ever.**

**Spesh dry humps to snshyne for pre-reading and for being so damn sweet. Dolls like her are what's right with the fandom. Js. **

**Muzak:  
****Sleeping With Ghosts: Placebo  
********Have to Drive: Amanda Palmer  
************Doll Parts: Hole  
****************Rope on Fire: Morphine  
********************Butterflies and Hurricanes: Muse**

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"_Something has changed within me; something is not the same."  
Act 1, __Wicked_, lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

_Two weeks later _

EPOV

News of Jacob Black's death broke into the mortal world.

Bella was called and disturbed for a few days afterwards for statements. The police had contacted her regarding her time in Forks. She confirmed she'd had an altercation with Black, but that she had gone inside before the accident had happened.

The funeral came and went. Bella chose not to attend, wanting as little as possible to do with Jacob Black.

Surprisingly, his will included her, and his estate was divided between her and his new family.

Bella did not wish for any of it, and intended to donate the money to charity.

She insisted on going back to work during all of it. She went on erratic cleaning sprees over the house, to the point where at times I could smell bleach and ammonia from her first, before her own venom inducing smell.

Her behavior was almost manic.

+IA+

BPOV

I was driving. It was the blue of early evening outside, right before the sun goes down, and there is enough light to see outside.

I really should have the headlights on, but I chose to drive in the darkness.

The trees flew past me almost too fast, in a blur. They were on either side of me, of the road, dense. The blue-black of twilight bruising the green of the leaves into submissive night shades.

There was no sound in the car, the suffocating silence weighing heavy on my silent chest.

I looked down, and there was a hole there, in my chest. A hollow void. I had an urge to put my hand in it, but the thought of carrying the notion through made me shudder.

My foot seemed leaden on the gas pedal, and the world hurtled by me. I couldn't breathe, so I tried to open the window. It cracked open, and icy wind screamed at me. It called my name, it told me to wake up.

I glanced in the rear view mirror, but it was broken. I looked over my shoulder, needing to see what was behind me. It should have been trees, it should have been pavement.

It was me, waving. I was happy. I smiled at myself.

It was me, maybe as I should have been. My hair was its natural brown. There were freckles on my nose, and the bitter shape to my mouth wasn't there. The jaded look was absent from my face.

I was happy.

It hurt to see myself like that.

My eyes focused on movement in the backseat, and I realized I wasn't alone in the car. I looked forward, back to the windshield, to the scenery going by too fast. I took my hands from the steering wheel, and my chest felt too tight. I could see it inflate and deflate as I tried to breath.

An icy hand wrapped around my throat, and my name was whispered in my ear. The hand traveled down my neck, tickled over my collarbone, and moved in slow motion to the hole. The air around us was black, and the hand pale. It glowed in the ethereal darkness.

The fingers moved over the edge and as it dipped into the hole, I closed my eyes.

I turned my head.

And screamed.

EPOV

I entered her bedroom, and shut the window that she had left open. She had taken something to aid her sleep, the scent of the Benzodiazepine wafted from her skin.

Bella sat in the rocking chair, a quilt wrapped around her. She was restless, her body moving in the chair, shifting. She whimpered, and her breathing changed to small panicked huffs. Her heart beat too fast, adrenaline rushing through her veins with every thump.

The smell of fresh sweat saturated the air. It enhanced the burn in my throat, as it was a mixture of fearful adrenaline and that which was uniquely Bella. The general burn of her presence on my throat blossomed, and I wanted to lick the aperitif of her slick skin. I moved towards her, listening to her heart pump.

Bella told me once that she did not dream. She only slept intermittently in my presence, and in the moments where sleep had stolen into her conscious mind, she was always still.

But here, her face seemed distressed, and being unable to see into her mind, I wondered what unconscious visions projected behind her eyelids.

Whatever they were, I was in tune enough with Bella's reactions to stimulus to know she was afraid.

Something glimmered in my mind, like a mirror briefly catching the sun. A rusty instinct, insistent that I help her.

I was at her side, and lifted her from the chair. She made a small noise, as I deposited her on the bed. I lay next to her and watched as the distress she was in seemed to get worse.

I shook her, "Bella."

She was too deeply under. I tried again, and still no response. The metronome of her heart continued to grow in pace, the nightmare a tiny hand on the dial, turning, winding her to a faster speed.

"Bella."

Her eyes closed, her mouth opened, and she screamed, loud, tortured.

I was over her, my hands on the sides of her face. I shouted her name, and this time she opened her eyes, the scream dying in her throat. Her lungs heaved for air, and her eyes were wide in her face, the pupils almost completely dilated. Her fear lanced the air around us, and I fought the instinct to follow through, to drink, while the beast growled from his corner in my mind.

I lay back on my side and she followed me, her face found its way to my chest, and pressing against my silent heart.

This time, I knew to put my arms around her. She held onto me, her hands under my shirt, fire against the ice of my chest. Her fingers made small circles over my skin, tracing shapes over my heart.

She quieted eventually. Her body rocked against mine, the movement seemed to soothe her as she fit her softer curves to my granite plains.

I kissed her neck while she trembled against me. Pulling her closer, as my nose ran along her jaw to her ear, ignoring the dry fire in my throat.

"Tell me." It was a demand. The curiosity twisted inside me.

Her words were muffled against the cotton of my shirt, "There was a hole. In my chest. I wasn't bleeding or anything, it was just there, like a bottomless void."

Her hand crept around my side, to my back, still moving under my shirt. It left a warm trail as it moved.

She rubbed her cheek against my shirt before she continued, "I haven't dreamed in so long. My sleeping habits have been shitty for years, and I used to get sleep meds from the doctor, but this always happened."

"This?"

"The nightmares," she answered, her voice low.

Silence stretched as she breathed against my chest. Her fingers continued to move over my skin, and I absently stroked her hair.

This was new to me. This closeness, all the small gestures, the touches.

+IA+

BPOV

I promised myself I wouldn't let him affect my life ever again.

And here he was, doing it again.

And he was dead, for fuck's sake.

I felt like I'd been pushed away from the earth, into a fucking void, a vacuum, where my insides threatened to crumble.

The morning Edward had woken me up, I felt ashamed of myself. I hated being so fucking weak, I didn't want to be that female that clung to the relationships in her life. I had been doing OK by myself for the last couple of years.

What the fuck did it matter if Jake was dead?

But it did matter, for some reason, it fucking did. I had bottled up all this rage towards him, all this anger. It was easy to hate him when he was alive, he made it so easy.

Could I hate him now that he was dead? Was that even morally correct?

Sometimes, when I closed my eyes, I could still see Edward crouched over him. At the time, a very horrible part of me had hoped that something would happen to Jake.

Jess was worried about me, she wanted me to go to the doctor.

I told her I was fine.

I am fine.

Jess was trying to be there for me, she knew it was a big deal.

And Edward.

He was allowing me to be closer to him, and it scared me. Something was changing between us, and with all the shit in my head, I asked him for space.

I told him I needed to be alone.

Days passed, forming into weeks.

I went to work. I came home. I beat the shit out of the gym bag. I sat in my rocking chair, a throw wrapped around me. Sleep wouldn't come.

Life went on around me, even though I seemed stagnant. The Woman in Black debuted in the theater. People went nuts for the old ghost story. And I went through the motions of ticking off scenes, organizing the team, and driving home at night.

There was a party tonight at Yorkie's. They begged me to go, but I just didn't want to be around people.

The house was silent, dark, it seemed like a total fucking misrepresentation of what I wanted. I went upstairs, and entered the bathroom, flicking the light on. Walking over to the tub, I plugged it and turned the water on.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and realized the diet of cigarettes and triple shot americanos were making me look like shit. My mouth tasted like an old leather shoe, and my face was pale and drawn.

My eyes were dead.

I was cold, so fucking cold, and I shivered as I shoved my jeans and underwear down my legs. I pulled my shirt off, let it sit in a pile beneath my feet.

The bath was nearly overflowing, and I stopped it. I didn't put anything in it, I just wanted the water, the depth. It was clear, I could see the bottom.

Getting in, my legs and arms were shaky, as if I couldn't support myself. I submerged myself up to my neck and stared at the ceiling. The drop of left over water from the tap was the only disturbance to sound and surface. I plugged it with my toe.

The weightlessness of the water surrounded me, and I wanted to feel all of it. I wanted to let go, to submerge, and feel the weightlessness of the water, rather than the heavy numbing feeling I had inside of me.

I relaxed my legs, and the gentle tug of the water slowly crept up my neck, to my chin. There was no noise, complete silence as water filled my ears, caressed my scalp. My hair floated around me like an ethereal dark cloud.

It was comforting, the heavy weight of the water on my naked flesh. It was liberating. I exhaled bubbles towards the surface. They danced above me, set free, finding their way up, escaping.

I closed my eyes, the darkness settling behind my lids. My mind was quiet, still, and I floated for what seemed like hours, but it could only have been seconds.

What the fuck was happening to me?

When I was a little girl, and I played in my mom's backyard, I dreamed of being a fairy princess when I grew up. All I would need was my trusty wand with its pretty multi-colored ribbons.

But those pretty dreams were no sturdier than cotton candy bought at the fair: easily torn.

Had I ever really loved Jake? Had I clung to him in insecure desperation?

Had my father really loved my mother?

Was I my father's daughter? Was there something just wrong with me, on the inside?

What the fuck am I doing with myself?

I was more than physically drowning. I was caught beneath the surface of my own fucking life, allowing myself to be pulled under.

I opened my eyes, and under the water, I could hazily see the ceiling to the bathroom, the soft light glowing.

I pushed up, and my face met the air again. I sputtered, I coughed. My lungs heaved for more oxygen and my sharp gasps bounced off of the pale tiled walls of the bathroom. My hand surfaced and pushed heavy locks of my hair from my face.

I stood up, the water sloshed around me, dripping from my elbows, my hair, my breasts. In the mirror, I caught my reflection again, and rather than see my tired and haggard appearance, I see me.

Me.

Stepping out of the tub, I grabbed a towel and dried off. I tucked the towel around me, and went into the hallway.

Even though it was dark, I knew every room, every nook.

I just didn't want to be here anymore.

I wandered into the bedroom, grabbed the ashtray with my cigarettes and lighter, and sat down in the rocking chair. I stuck a cigarette between my lips and lit it, the orange glow from the flame casting odd shadows across the room.

Dragging on the ciggie, I rocked back and forth, staring at the house across the street.

My mind seemed to come alive, rather than the void I'd been living in since Jake's death.

I had some money put aside, plenty where I could live comfortably. If I sold the house, I could get out of everything that was ever Jake's. I missed living closer in the city, I missed the liveliness, the dirty air, and strategically avoiding neighbors at the mailbox.

I didn't want to rattle around this big house by myself. I didn't need it, and it most certainly wasn't me.

In the morning, first thing, I was going to make some phone calls. It was time to get the hell out of Dodge.

My legs pushed at the floor, continuing the easy motion of the chair, the glide ticking off seconds into minutes, molding the last few hours into dawn. I patiently waited for the rest of the world to wake up and begin their day.

As soon as the sun came up, I took a shower, and put a pot of coffee on. I was dressed, and made a few phone calls before pouring my coffee into a travel mug.

I chose the Mustang this morning, and turned the wipers on to clear away some of the early morning drizzle.

By the time the morning was over, I had signed papers, and left with a big sign for my front yard. Someone would be over later on in the week to take pictures, and my ad would be on the local property sites soon.

I was moving on, and I couldn't wait to cut the dead weight.

+IA+

EPOV

It had been nearly two weeks since we had last spoken, last touched.

After over a century of being able to read the minds of those around me, and in doing so, able to anticipate their every move, and decipher their motives. However, with Bella, this was a frustrating impossibility. She had asked for some time to herself, and I obliged her.

Fear was a new feeling to me. Being infallible came with damnation, and acceptance that this state brought a certain level of unlimited existence.

The tie between Bella and I was stronger than gravitational, more than her blood. For the first time, I had to deal with the reality of illness, of injury, and death. I feared her mortal frailties, and they brought me one step closer to making my decision.

That evening, I waited for her to come in. I watched from a shadowed corner, as she threw her bike helmet on the couch. She took her hair down, and it fell around her shoulders, as dark as a crow's feather.

She jogged upstairs, and there was the shuffle of bureau drawers, and the sound of clothes hitting the floor. She re-emerged, wearing a white t-shirt and small black shorts. Her pale, toned legs were bare, and her feet smacked against the kitchen tiling as she moved.

I watched as Bella pulled out a glass from the kitchen cupboard, and a bottle of red wine from one of the lower cupboards.

The wine opener was dug noisily from a drawer, and in the buzzing kitchen light, she opened the bottle, the cork making a deep plunk sound as the smell of fermented grapes permeated the air.

She still had not noted my presence, and I kept it that way, observing her.

Wine poured, rich and dark, into the glass. I ignored the smell, and focused on the fine bouquet that was Bella.

She put the corkscrew away, and as she reached for her glass, she over calculated her reach, and knocked the crystal from the counter top. It shattered on the tiling, and Bella muttered an expletive.

She reached for a towel and I smelled it, the instant she stepped on the crystal. It pierced her foot, and that tiny drop of blood set my throat on fire.

I hissed at the smell of her blood in the air, and she jumped, gasping as she stepped on more glass.

"Who's there?"

I had not fed since we had come back from Forks, and neither had we touched.

"Edward?" she whispered.

I moved out of the shadows, and she gasped at the movement. Her wide brown eyes locked onto me, her hand flying to her throat. Her nipples stood erect against the white of her t-shirt. My cock lengthened at the sight, and I wanted to taste her through the cotton, make the shirt wet until it was clear enough to see the softer pink of her nipples through the fabric.

The smell of her blood enticed me closer.

"Jesus, Edward. You scared the shit out of me. How long have you been there?"

She flinched when I moved too quickly to her side, her soft whimper filling the air between us.

"Long enough to know you're bleeding," My hands were at her hips, my fingers feeling the warmth of her skin through the material of her shorts. As soon as I touched her, her heart stuttered and pumped faster.

I decided to address her foot first. Lifting her towards the counter top, her hands automatically rested on my shoulders, as I set her down. Bending to take her foot in my hand, I examined where the glass had embedded in her skin. It wasn't deep, only piercing surface blood vessels.

My icy fingers ran over her ankle, and as my eyes connected with hers, she bit her lip. I could detect the slight tang of her arousal, I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on her injury.

"Hold still."

I pulled the small pieces of crystal from her foot, and set them on the counter. Venom pooled in my mouth at the swell of blood from each tiny wound. She didn't make a sound while I made quick work of extracting the rest of the crystal from her skin.

I could not resist the tiny drops of blood, and raised her foot to my mouth. I licked her, and the tiny taste of her sang through me.

I swallowed venom, but there was enough on my tongue to seal the tiny cuts. The arch of her foot was dainty, her ankle delicate, as my lips moved up. I placed wet kisses along the inside of her leg, listening to the delicious harmony of reactions from her body.

The smell of her beguiling arousal caused me to harden further, and I glanced at her face. Her eyes met mine, and she swallowed, her throat contracting.

"Edward, I-" she stopped as my hands slid up her legs. I could see her chest rise and fall, her breasts outlined in their perfection, her nipples erect. Her heart a rhythm of awareness, her nostrils grabbing for my scent.

"Yes, Bella?"

My fingers walked from her knee, up her thigh, to her hip. Bella's eyes were locked with mine, and only the gentle sweep of her lashes on her cheek broke our gaze.

My hands moved up, over the cotton of her shorts, to her hips. I pulled her to the edge of the counter, and she gasped. I nuzzled one of her nipples, pressing my face against the pillowed softness, breathing in her scent. The answering sound from her throat made my cock twitch.

She licked her lips, her pink tongue mesmerizing me. Her hands were cautious as they reached for my shirt, and I straightened, watching her curiously.

I had seen Bella in many fashions, but she was always careful around me. I vaguely wondered if she was afraid of me.

Her fingers moved to the hem of my shirt, pulling at the edge of it, signifying she wanted to remove it from me. I complied with her wishes, raising my arms. There was a moment when her eyes met mine, before I disappeared behind the gray cotton of my shirt. When I was free, she stared at me, her eyes traveling over my chest.

Her fingers reached out, and I waited for it, hoping for it, that moment when her warm touch would meet my cold flesh.

She moved almost too slow for me.

Finally, her fingers found purchase on the solid wall of my chest. She traced over my collarbone, lingering.

Her hand moved lower, over my chest, her palm flattening over muscle. Slowly, she moved, questing, her fingers grazing over a nipple, making my breath hiss.

She snatched her hand back, and this time, my impatience got the better of me. I moved too quickly, tried to be gentle with my grip, but I grabbed her hand, and put it back to where it was.

"Touch me, Bella."

She bit her lower lip, her teeth holding the fullness prisoner.

She stroked me, her warm hand moving over the fine hairs of my chest, and a shudder rolled through me.

Lower.

Her touch moved lower, down the center of my stomach, her fingertips moving over the ridges before straying into the middle, tracing the line of hair that disappeared into my jeans.

I watched as her hand moved to the side, tracing the V of muscle until her fingertips lingered slightly under the waist of my jeans. I looked at up at her face, and there was a luscious pout about her lips as she concentrated.

Bella's eyes rose from her hand on me, meeting mine.

Time paused around us, and the weight of her embargo on my presence felt heavy in the air between us. Her chest rose and fell, her heart beat rapidly, her lips parted.

A charge crackled, and moved through both of us.

Bella moved quickly, moving closer to the edge of the counter. Her knees were either side of my hips, she wrapped her legs around me, her ankles locking. Her hot mouth found mine, her hands pulling at my hair.

She was rougher than usual, as rough as she could be. I kissed her back, something igniting between us.

Hunger for her in every way gripped me, and I pulled back before it went too far.

"Careful," I gave her a warning glance, and could see the dark hunger of my eyes reflected in hers.

She breathed, she exhaled, and the breath of her filled me. My lips brushed across hers, teasing. She pressed her breasts against me, and I understood why contact was so important to humans. I understood why they needed this, why it elicited the reactions it did in them. It was an expression, a confirmation.

All these new experiences with her, I wanted them. I wanted her.

I wanted.

I kissed the center of her chin, moving lower, and I couldn't help the venom in my mouth, I kissed her throat, wetly, and licked the pulse that was thudding fast enough for both of us. My nose skimmed down the center of her chest, over her heart.

Finally, my eyes settled on my quarry, and my mouth watered with venom. One of her beautifully erect nipples, hiding behind the cotton of her t-shirt.

Her fingernails crept over my scalp as I sucked the tiny nub into my mouth, wetting the fabric. I pushed and rolled with my tongue, and she gasped, arching her back. My hand reached between her legs, and pushed against her sex, over her shorts. Her responses were making me harder, and even through the barrier of t-shirt, her searing flesh called to me.

I realized then, in that moment, it wasn't just human flesh. It was _her_. It was Bella. Her every reaction fascinated me, her every movement inspired parts of me I thought were dormant.

When I told her months ago that she completed my existence, I did not fully realize just how much she did.

She was more than blood.

More than carnal flesh to be tasted.

I looked up at her face, and I needed more connection with her.

My lips met hers, her arms wrapped around my neck, her breathing erratic as our tongues met, mingled.

My hands found her hips, and I pulled her up against me, supporting her, as I lifted her from the counter. Her legs tightened around me, her thighs squeezing. I walked away from the kitchen, her mouth still on mine, both of us needing more.

I could smell blood rushing to the surface of her skin as she flushed deeper with arousal. I knew what she needed, and I fully intended to give it to her.

Her lips broke from mine, "Where are we going," she asked, her voice husky with arousal. Her forehead rested against mine while I carried her slowly through the house.

My eyes met hers, "I don't know."

And at this moment, and for the first time in a very long time, I didn't have an answer to that. Maybe she was making a physical reference, her question resonated much more deeply with me.

Bella's lips touched mine as she spoke, "Living room,"

I moved quickly in that direction, and when we entered, her lips caressed against my mouth, "Couch."

I laid her down, hovering over her.

"Edward, I want to feel you against me, please. Your skin on mine."

I stood, my hands flying over the buttons on my jeans. She sat up, then stood next to me. The entire time, our eyes stayed locked with each other's. Her palm laid gently over my quiet chest, and I ignored my burning throat.

The look in her eyes, was it…tender?

No human had ever looked at me quite that way.

I had seen lust in their eyes, and read it in their thoughts. I had seen desire, naked hunger.

But not the soft way Bella's eyes were regarding me now. I shuddered, silencing the beast, and opened another door in my mind. It creaked, it whined, it moaned with disuse.

My hands rested on her shoulders, then slowly moved down, over her arms. She closed her eyes, and I watched her face as my fingers slid over her side. Finding the hem of her shirt, I stretched it up, my thumbs running over her ribs.

Bella pulled back slightly, as I raised the shirt over her head. Her breasts were perfect in the dull light, smooth, creamy skin that I wanted to taste.

Again my hands moved, I slid them under the elastic band of her shorts, finding her warm naked skin underneath. I cupped her backside in my hands, and she pressed her naked breasts to my chest.

I felt one of her hands tickle around the edge of my jeans, unbuttoning the fly. I sucked her lower lip into my mouth as her hand delved inside. She wrapped her hand wrapped around me, hot, squeezing.

"I need you inside, Edward." she whispered against my mouth while her hand ran over the head of my cock before moving back down. Involuntarily, my hips moved.

"Take these off. Now." I whispered back.

I growled as her hand left me, and moved around me to pull her shorts down. I took my hands back and quickly shoved my jeans and boxers down.

Her beautiful skin, revealed fully to me now. Her flesh was flush, and I ran my tongue over my teeth, savoring the sight. She lay on the couch, her legs open, inviting me.

I could not resist her.

Beckoned, I knelt on the couch between her legs. My fingers caressed up the inside of her leg, her chest rose and fell.

"Please Edward. Don't tease me."

Deftly, I slid a finger between her slick sex, finding her clitoris. Bella gasped as I rubbed a small swirl around it. Her hips moved against me, and I slowly inserted two fingers inside her. She was more than ready.

My hand left her, moving to her knees, pushing her wider. My cock caressed her, and she panted, desperate for more.

I entered her slowly, savoring every sigh, every moan.

My hips moved, her legs wound around me, pulling me closer. She angled her hips as I moved, growling against her neck, as she moaned.

"Deeper, Edward."

And with that new door open, it was new, it was intense. Again and again our bodies met, and I kissed her neck, her ear.

Her voice was ragged in my ear, "Oh God, I'm close. Why aren't you-"

I looked into her eyes as I moved inside her again, "What?"

She licked her lips, "You usually…you know."

My brows furrowed together, and I closed my eyes at the exquisite squeeze of her on my cock.

"Aren't you hungry?"

I nodded as words escaped me.

She turned her head, exposing her neck.

"Take me, Edward."

Her rapid pulse enticed, and I could feel the beast grin wickedly.

I gave in, I sliced her flesh open and drank from her. She moaned throatily, as I pumped faster and faster, our flesh smacking together as I sucked from her neck.

But I gave as I got, and soon she shattered in my arms, her body tensing, shivering beneath me. I licked her wound closed as blinding light obliterated me.

Her body was slick against mine, and she held me close.

I was still deep inside her, could feel myself growing hard all over again. I would have her again, and again, and it would never be enough.

This decision was getting closer and closer to a more definite answer.

Was she ready to be mine forever?

+IA+

BPOV

I opened the paper with shaking hands and finally found the ad I was looking for:

_For Sale:_

_Beautiful Family Home, two and a half baths, five bedrooms, living room, family room, dining room. Built in Gym Room looking out across expansive wooded area at the back of property. Large master bedroom with walk-in closet. Luxurious master bath has exquisite Jacuzzi tub and walk in shower. Full kitchen and two car garage. Secluded but well placed in community for local school district. _

_Come and see this beautiful home today. Owner is looking for quick sale. Viewings by appointment only. _

I looked outside the window of the coffee shop and smiled.

I was moving on, moving away from the wreckage of my life. It didn't seem like even just the divorce, it went farther than that.

It went all the way back to when my mother had fallen from where she stood, holding a brown paper bag of groceries. That look on her face that was eventually smoothed away by a mortician's skilled hands.

Since that point, my life hadn't been mine.

And now it was, and I was making my own choices.

I finished my triple shot, and folded the newspaper over. I'd circled a couple of apartments in the city I wanted to call about, but that would have to wait until tomorrow morning.

The weather outside had turned from the brilliant blue skies of the morning to shady grays, as clouds rolled in. It looked like we were in for a violent afternoon shower.

Thank fuck I wore my boots. I slung my jacket on, and turned the collar up.

Walking outside, the wind picked up, and whipped my hair back from my face. I squinted, trying to see. As I turned a corner, I ran smack into a petite woman dressed in black.

"I'm really sorry!" I shouted over the weather.

Her hands reached out in a gesture of what I assumed was to steady herself. She laid them on my arms, her pale small hands delicately boned. I looked into her face, and caught a glimpse of black bobbed hair before her eyes utterly terrified me.

The color of dribbled honey, liquid burning gold.

"That's not the only apology you owe me."

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**A/N**

**dramaticprairiedog . gif**

**Our demon was reviewed on Deviants of the Dark by Nitareality and IrishTwiSisters who are amazing authors in their own right. I was incredibly humbled by their kind words.**

**And I see some of you are still holding a grudge for Emmett's epic cockblock a few chapters back. IA has been nom'd for a Golden Lemon in the cockblock category.**

**I laughed till I cried when I saw that. Thanks to whomever nominated me, I needed the giggle! If you want to vote, there is a link on my profile. My beta/bestie/prereader/reason for existence lambcullen has also been nominated for a few categories in the Golden Lemons. Check'em out! **


	23. Chapter 22: Antigone

**A/N**

**Yadda yadda twilight stuff isn't mine, yadda yadda sparkle peen.**

**Thanks to lambcullen for her amazing beta skills, and her amazing bestie skills.**

**Thanks to snshyne for making me smile every time she sends a doc back to me. She is pure win!**

**Music for this chapter:  
****Renegade: Styx  
****Breathe Me: Sia  
****Cry Freedom: Dave Matthews Band  
****When Anger Shows: Editors**

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"_For even the stout of heart shrink when they see/the approach of death close to their lives."  
Lines 638-639 of __Antigone_, by Sophocles

_BPOV_

The wind whipped at my hair, blinding me for a second. My heart was in my throat, and all I could think about, was that movie where those stupid teenagers keep cheating death and death keeps coming for them in really weird fucked up accidents.

I should be scared for my life, and all I could focus on was that movie, and what the fuck was it called!

Her voice was a small cadence over the wind, "Let's get out of this rain."

She took my arm, and lead me towards a sports car; its lines sleek and outlined in iridescent black purple.

I knew that she was stronger than me, I knew that she wasn't human, but I wasn't going with her without a fight.

But before I could struggle, she looked up, "Don't even think about it. I don't want to hurt you, Bella, but I can if I need to."

"Fuck you! I'm not going anywhere with you," I tried to punch her, but she caught my arm, her grip hard.

She sighed, "Really? Please, don't force me to do this, he'll be incredibly mad at me for meddling already, but I don't want to take you back broken."

Fear lanced through me, pulling my throat too tight as a memory flitted through my mind, of another set of golden eyes.

Maybe I could talk my way out of this?

She smiled at me, "That's better. Now be a good little human, and get in the car. The door is unlocked."

The last of her speech was said coldly, and I quickly complied by opening the door.

I tried to pull my phone out, and blindly press the buttons for Edward's number. Once inside the car, my fingers moved over the screen. Rain pelted the windows, smacking the glass and blurring the outside world.

She moved so fast, I didn't even register the phone was out of my hands, until I looked up to see it in hers.

"I don't think that's a good idea. He'll figure out you're not where you're supposed to be soon enough. He keeps a very close eye on you."

"You know Edward?"

She pocketed my phone and started the car, "He's my brother."

The shock must have been on my face as she glanced at me, "Well, not in the literal blood sense. But, we were a family at one point or another."

I swallowed, "Did you-did you know Jas-"

She looked at me sharply, and I flinched at the darkness in her eyes, "Don't. Do not say his name."

I shrank in my seat as she drove too fast through the town. It was only a matter of minutes before we were at the city limits, the concrete sidewalks turning into street shoulder, and fading into dense forest.

"Where are we-"

"We're going for a drive, and you're going to be quiet. Then, I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."

I clamped my teeth together, biting off what I really wanted to say.

I stared out the window, trying to think of ways to escape, or get my phone back. I recognized the highway we were on, which was a good thing, at least I had my bearings.

Her voice cut into my thoughts after awhile, "Whatever you're thinking, I'm two steps ahead of you, and it will not work."

Stony silence followed, and I nibbled on my lower lip, trying to think up an escape plan. I wondered if we were going too fast for me to tuck and roll out onto the highway. I slowly reached for the door handle, but stopped at the sound of the doors locking electronically.

We reached a certain point, and her soft voice broke the quiet, "Jasper was my husband."

I wanted to throw up. No wonder she seemed fucking pissed. This was it, I was going to die alone in the woods, with no one to hear my screams. I had always thought it would be some random stage accident.

She continued, "Edward was a part of my family, my coven. There were seven of us all together. We regarded Carlisle as the patriarch of our group. We all had mates, except for Edward. He resented this…life, hated everything about it, and the fact that Carlisle hadn't given him a choice. Edward felt he should have died back in 1918."

_1918?_

That would make him well over a century old.

My mind reeled.

"Carlisle believed we could exist without having to drink from humans, without having to be monsters. So he taught Jasper and I to feed from animals. It was difficult for Jasper, when he had been changed, he…fed…the traditional way."

She was editing, choosing her words carefully, and I listened, fascinated by this glimpse into knowing more about Edward. I had always wanted to know more, but was afraid to ask him delving questions. His demeanor always changed, and I had learned to steer far away from those topics.

"About twenty years ago, Edward accidentally killed a college girl; the temptation of drinking human blood too much for him. He and Carlisle argued, and Edward set off on his own, away from the family.

"He eventually found a mentor, and found a way to…drink without killing. Our family, we don't want to be monsters, we don't want to lose that piece of our humanity. Edward…he existed that way for a time, until he was pulled back here, closer to us again.

"I don't even think he knows why he found himself here, he hasn't quite figured it out yet. But I have. I know why he's back."

She let that hang there, and the curiosity got the better of me, "Why did he come back?"

She turned to me, "You."

I tensed, not expecting that.

"But I'm just-"

She interrupted me, "You're not just a human. You're not some random person on the street. Edward has never taken a mate in all the time of his existence. He's alone, and he's been alone since he was made…this way. You do the math, Bella. Sure, he's been with women, but he's never had one central person that directly connects him to this earth. You do that, Bella. You don't know the change he's gone through since he's been back, but I can see it, even if I haven't been with him."

It felt heavy, that responsibility, knowing I was somehow the gravity holding Edward to anything. But he had told me before, things like this, and I had written them off as Edward being…Edward.

A thought occurred to me, and I turned to Alice, "Can you read minds too?"

She smiled as she eyed the road in front of us, "No. But I can see the future."

I didn't know what to say to that. My mind tried to process through all the information she was giving me, about Edward and his family.

A flash of the doctor who had treated my father went through my head. That day in Forks.

"Carlisle. Does he look like an icy blonde Ken doll with kind eyes?"

Alice nodded, giggling, "Yes. That was Carlisle that day in the hospital."

Some of the pieces of this puzzle were falling together, and more of Edward seemed to take shape in my mind than the man I knew.

It gave him more dimension.

And it gave me a lot to think about.

I acknowledged that the last few months, I had been holding a part of myself back from him, knowing that I selfishly enjoyed everything physical about our relationship. I had tried really hard not to commit myself emotionally. The classical sense of a relationship, it just really freaked me out.

I'm just not a candy and flowers kinda girl.

And Edward being what he was, and the way he was, appealed to me more than other men. We didn't talk about…love…and I was glad for that.

Somehow, it was more than that, it was more than sex, more than blood. I felt it every time he touched me.

But there was this small unsure vulnerable side to him that came out sometimes, and it worked for me. Knowing more about him, now, in this way; it just made me respect him more.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

Alice paused before responding, "Sometimes, being able to see the future is a good thing. But it can be faulty. People change their minds, their decisions. The smallest thing can alter the events of what is going to be.

"Edward has been trying to make a decision about you, but he doesn't seem to be able to fully commit to it. So I'm trying to help this along. You make him happy, at least, as happy as Edward gets."

She looked at me then, with a raised eyebrow, "You know what I mean: Mr. Brooding while he plays his piano. He tends to over-think everything-"

"Wait," I interrupted, "What do you mean he's making a decision about me?"

Alice's eyes went back to the road, "Bella, have you ever thought about what the future holds for you and Edward?"

"I try not to think too much about shit like that. I had one of those relationships before, and it landed me on my ass."

Alice pursed her lips, "Yes. It can happen that way. But Edward will be the way he is, forever. And you will continue to get older. You might get sick. You might want children. He can't give you children."

"I'm not really the mommy type, and who said this had to be a long term relationship?" This was starting to make me feel nervous.

Alice glanced at me, "We mate for life, Bella."

What the fuck does that mean? Like fucking lions and shit? I was reaching for a cigarette now, and she rolled down the window near me, "You can smoke." Alice waited for me to light and exhale before she continued.

"Bella, what do you have to cling to, in your mortal life? What if you could go on forever? I know my brother, maybe better than he knows himself."

I looked out the window, and realized where we were. She must have really floored it, this drive usually takes me at least two hours.

We were at the graveyard where my mother was buried.

Alice slowed down, and parked the car. The rain had abated, it was only softly drizzling. I got out, and Alice was already standing in front of me. I jumped slightly, but she smiled at me, holding a large black umbrella.

"Come with me." she asked.

I followed beside her as I heard my phone vibrate in her pocket. She reached over and handed it to me.

"You can answer it now." she murmured, as we walked past the wrought iron gate and observed the rows of wet gray gravestones, some older, some new. I glanced at the screen, and saw that it was Edward.

"Hello?""Bella? Where are you?"I looked at Alice out of the corner of my eye, wondering how much I could get away with telling him, "I'm at the graveyard visiting my mom.""Your car is outside of the theater, and your bike is in the garage. Is someone with you?"I coughed, "Wow. Stalker much?""You haven't answered my question."I bit my lip, trying to decide whether to tell him that Alice was with me. It would take him time to get here, and I knew she had a lot more to say to me. "I'm here with Alice."There was a low growl from the other end, which did funny things to my insides, "You are unhurt?"

"So far, so good."

"Where is the graveyard?"

"Edward you don't have to-"

"I will find it myself if you don't tell me, Bella. Where?"

I gave him the location, and he promised to be here as soon as he could.

"Don't break any sound barriers. She seems nice, Edward. I don't think I'm in any dan-"

He hung up on me.

I stared at the phone, "Nice."

Alice took my arm, after I shoved my phone back in my pocket. She led me in the direction of my mother's grave.

"How do you know where this is?" I asked.

"You were coming by here today anyways, and I thought it would be a good place to talk."

She was right, I had considered going to see my mom, to tell her about my plans, and Jake.

And Edward. Most of all, Edward.

Alice led me in the direction of my mother's grave.

We passed by little Tanya Denali's grave. Some of the teddy bears near her gravestone seemed weathered and aged. One sad little bear, which at one point had been a soft pastel blue, was now gray. Its little matted furry body was slumped over, his head listing uselessly to the side, his small black eyes open and lifeless.

Rain continued to drizzle around us, making the air dense. The grass was yellow from Winter, the ground spongy from thaw and rain.

We arrived, my mother's name achingly familiar as always, the finality of her name in the granite always made my heart skip a beat, even after all this time.

When the silence became too much, I looked at Alice, "Why have you brought me here?"

Without turning to me, she spoke, her eyes focused on the stone in front of us, "When you've lived as long as I have, you wonder about the mundane normalcy of mortal life. When you are…immortal, your whole existence shifts.

"Take away caution in the human sense. You cannot be hurt in a human way. You cannot die. The emotions you have: love, hate, envy, grief; they run deeper. There is a darkness which eclipses your humanity, but the power exists to pull it back. You simply have to have the will to do so."

She paused, and the drizzle turned to rain, pattering against the umbrella.

"I had that will. I had it, because I had Jasper."

I flinched involuntarily at his name.

"But he's gone now. He's dead, in the truest sense. And I can feel the…darkness…taking over. So I'm trying to do the right thing, before it's too late."

Edward hadn't ever told me exactly what had happened that night, I had my suspicions, but was afraid to ask.

Finally, she turned to me, her gold eyes piercing mine, "Bella, you have a choice, a choice a lot of us never really had. But you are going to need to make it soon. I see great things for you and Edward. You are changing him, pushing the darkness back.

"There are forces, laws, that exist in my world, and you are a human that knows far too much. I want you to have a fighting chance. To know your options. I have my brother's happiness in mind. Well," she added with a gentle lift of her perfect dark eyebrows, "As happy as Edward ever will be."

"What option?" Surely she wasn't suggesting-

"Bella, in a couple of weeks, you die. I cannot tell you anymore than this. If I did, it would mean death for us all. In every way."

I felt as if I'd just been sucker punched in the stomach, and all of the air I had inside me expelled out. I glanced at my mother's stone, my eyes catching on the date of her death, until it seemed etched into my irises. I couldn't even begin to process this, couldn't fathom my own death.

My eyes went back to hers, "How-"

She shook her head, "I cannot tell you."

Dead.

In two weeks.

I don't know how long I stood there, trying to come to grips with what she told me. I went back through everything she had said, over and over. Absently, I lit a cigarette and puffed at it, attempting to calm myself. The action somewhat soothed me, and when it was finished, I flicked it away, and watched it fly over the graves, landing far away.

I licked my lips, my mouth seemed so dry, "Alice, you said I had a choice to make. An option?"

She nodded, "If you become one of us, you will not die."

A hysterical giggled bubbled up, and I tried to keep it back. It came out sounding more like a choking sound as it lodged in my throat.

"Jesus. I don't know what to say to that. This is really fucking surreal."

My legs were starting to get sore from standing in the one place for so long.

Alice sighed beside me, "Edward will be here soon, and I don't want to fight with him in front of you. I just want you to know, I don't hate either of you. I love Edward very much, I shouldn't, but I do."

There was a sadness that seemed at odds with the warm whiskey color of her eyes. She attempted a smile as she handed me the umbrella.

"Think about what I said." Her fingers were ice cold as they brushed against mine.

I took the handle from her, and before I knew it, she was gone. I vaguely heard her car start, and she pulled away, leaving me here, alone.

I turned to my mother.

"Well, Ma, I'll bet when you had me, your dreams for me did not include divorced chain-smoker with an early expiration date, did they?"

My attempt at humor did not help me feel any better.

I lit another cigarette, and watched the smoke blow away in the damp air.

How the hell did I go from Stage Manager to Potential Vampire?

Did I want to be a vampire?

Do I quit my job? What would I do? Where would I go?

What about Jess?

I can totally imagine that conversation:

"_Bella, there is nothing in your fridge!"_

"_Yeah, about that, I'm on a liquid diet."_

"_What do you mean, _liquid diet_?"_

"_I'm totally into blood now. I think I saw it in a magazine that Paris Hilton was doing it, and thought I would give it a shot."_

The images melted as the hair stood up on the back of my neck, and my skin prickled with awareness.

I turned, just as Edward walked over to me.

"Bella? Are you ok?" He was close to me now, and slightly damp, his hair slightly mussed, as if he had been running his hands through it in agitation.

"Not really."

"Did she hurt you?" His hands moved over me, checking for injury, and his touch ignited the nerve endings where they touched.

I looked at his face, and it was the same devastatingly handsome face. But knowing what I knew about him now, knowing he had been hurting, and that I was somehow providing an ease, that I was helping, it urged me into my next course of action.

It seemed as if I moved in slow motion. Not caring about the rain, I dropped the umbrella. It landed inverted, gathering raindrops as the handle bobbed side to side.

I raised my hand, placing it on his chest, and slowly wiped rain drops away from that wall that was so strong, so silent. There were parts of him that he kept locked away from me, maybe for my own safety.

But I wanted to unlock them all.

I looked into his eyes, and wondered what he saw in mine. My hand moved lower, to his waist, and I pressed myself against him, as my other arm came around him.

This time, he knew, he automatically put his arms around me, and I nestled my face against his chest, as I attempted to squeeze him.

"I don't normally do the hug thing, Edward."

His chin rested on top of my head, "No?"

"No."

His arms contracted around me, pulling me closer, and our bodies fit together perfectly. I inhaled, and his scent soothed me, quieting the manic thoughts that had been rushing through me like a tidal wave.

"What did Alice say to you?"

I bit my lip, "She told me about you. About your family."

He said nothing, but I could feel him tense slightly.

"What else did she say, there must have been something else?"

"She wanted me to know my…options."

"Options?"

I worried my lip and he pulled away from me. Rain fell gently on my face, as his crimson eyes looked into mine.

"What do you mean by options?"

I looked away from his eyes, and a little voice wondered if my eyes would be red too….after.

"Bella?"

"She said I would be dead in two weeks. She said if I was…like you, I would have a fighting chance."

"No." The word was a growl that built low in his chest and erupted from between his gritted teeth.

A small lump formed in my throat, and I felt a horrible squeeze in my stomach. I stepped away from him, and his arms dropped, allowing space.

I felt rejected, and it hurt, a lot. I hadn't realized I had allowed Edward that kind of space inside me, where he could hurt me, where I was vulnerable with him.

I crossed my arms in front of me, and backed away from him further.

"Let's go, or whatever. Where are you parked?"

He quietly reached for the umbrella, and managed to fold it down after shaking the water out of it.

"This way. Come." He moved to put his hand at the small of my back, but I flinched away from him.

He led the way to the side entrance of the cemetery, and I followed closely.

His black Spider was parked outside, and I stared at it, wanting to punch it because its owner was currently being an asshole.

Edward unlocked the doors, and I got in. I felt awkward, and I really did not want to spend the next hour or so in the car with him.

Not after he made it so plainly clear how he felt.

Edward got in the car, but didn't start it.

"Bella, look at me."

"Just start the car, Edward."

"Bella-"

"Start the fucking car, Edward!"

His hand grabbed my chin, and pulled my face to his, as he leaned over the console.

His voice was gentle, "You're upset."

"Go to the head of the fucking class, genius," I snapped.

His mouth twitched at the corner, which only infuriated me.

"Why are you upset?"

I stared at him, not able to say the words out loud.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Fine. I shall go through everything we just said, your body will tell me if you won't."

I stubbornly sat there, with my arms still folded across my chest.

He carefully recalled our conversation, pausing to see my reaction. When he got to the part about me being a vampire, I could feel my heart speed up. His eyes reacted, I knew he could hear it, probably better than I could.

He continued, "And then I growled at you, for which I am sorry."

I could feel that same horrible twist in my stomach, and his eyes looked deeply into mine.

"Ah. It would seem you are upset over this part of the conversation. Was it your turning into a vampire?" He listened, then continued, "Hmm. Was it the 'no'?"

My heart kicked into overdrive, and I tried to wrench myself out of his hold, but he wouldn't relent.

"Why? Why would that bother you so?" He shifted closer in the seat, and the leather creaked, "Bella, trust me, you do not want to be a soulless monster."

I swallowed, he didn't even realize how it sounded to me.

"It's not that," I said lowly, my voice scratchy with emotion.

"What is it, then?"

I huffed, "It's like the idea of eternity with me was repulsive."

He blinked at me and I squirmed, totally uncomfortable with this subject.

I spoke before he could confirm the rejection again, "Look. I get it, ok? It's like, a lot of commitment, more than a lot. I haven't really had a lot of time to think about it myself, and although Alice said I had a choice, I don't really. It's either death or vamp. Since the whole thing with Jake, there is this small part of me that can't let go of the damaged goods label. He made me feel that way, like there was something wrong with me. So that's my issue and why the fuck am I telling you this?"

My eyes looked away from his at the end, trying to look anywhere other than his intensely handsome face.

His hand squeezed my jaw, his thumb caressing my cheek, waiting for my eyes to meet his again. He spoke when they did, a small lopsided smile playing around his lips.

"You are not repulsive, Bella. And you are not damaged goods. And Jacob Black was an imbecile who didn't ever fully realize what he had."

_Oh._

"Bella, your blood sings for me, like nothing else ever has. I don't know what that means, but I do know that I am pulled to you, tied to you, in ways I am still as yet unable to define."

_Oh. _

"So believe me when I say, that you are far from repulsive to me."

_Oh._

He leaned closer, and his lips brushed against mine, his tongue licking at my lower lip. The simple touch making my nerves spiral into a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations.

He pulled back slightly, "Perhaps it has been a short sight of mine, not communicating to you what is going on in here," he raised one of his hands to indicate his forehead, "And I'm only just realizing the scope of what is happening myself, Bella. Every time I am close to you, the instinct to taste you is almost undeniable. I want you, even right now, I can feel the burn in my throat, the pull to possess you in every way."

I shivered as his words fell over me like a caress, and my mind chose to flash to his hands on my skin, his mouth on me. I could feel myself pulsing, needing him.

He kissed me again, and then said against my mouth, "Yes, you feel it too." His hand ran down my neck, and goose bumps broke out over my skin.

He laughed then, a small quiet sound, "Do you see? We were talking about whether you're going to die as a human, or die as a vampire and here we are, judging how fast it would take to rip our clothes off, and feel your skin against mine. Am I right?"

I gulped and nodded.

He pursed his lips at me, and underneath his long eyelashes, his eyes met mine, "I think we need to talk first, this time. I shall start the car. Safety first, though."

And before I knew it, he was reaching across my body, fastening the safety belt, and I swear his hands lingered, and brushed against me. I felt my nipples pebble, and I wanted to push against his hands, needing more.

I looked up at his face, his ruby eyes dancing, he knew exactly what he was doing, and he actually smirked at me.

"I'm gonna get you back for that," I swore.

He cocked an eyebrow at me, "I'll hold you to that, Ms. Swan."

He started the car, and pulled away from the cemetery. The wipers scraped quietly and efficiently across the glass of the windshield, and he turned on the heater for me when I shivered with a chill.

We drove for a bit, and I listened to the quiet purr of the powerful engine. If the roads hadn't been so wet, I would have begged him for speed.

After several miles, he broke the silence, "You have much to consider, Bella."

"Yes." I still didn't know what to think about it, it still seemed totally intangible.

His voice had an edge to it, razor sharp, "I am going to speak with Alice, she knows more than she's letting on-"

"I think you should leave her alone, Edward."

"If she knows something-"

"She could have killed me, today."

His hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"She could have killed me, but she didn't. She could have killed you. Alice told me about having a mate, about pushing the darkness back."

I paused, waiting for a reaction from him, he only seemed tense, and I could feel him prickling beside me. I looked over at him, and his jaw was ticking, his teeth gritting in frustration.

"Why does this bother you so much?"

He didn't answer me at first, "Edward?"

He didn't look away from the road ahead of him, "She is right, the darkness is there, the darkness holds onto you, it does eclipse parts of you. When you're dead, when you carry around your own corpse, it is heavy, because your soul is no longer inside of you."

This time, he did turn to me when he spoke, "I am just beginning to understand that you are lighting up places inside of me that I thought were dead, Bella. It is like, how do humans put it, pins and needles? Like your limb has fallen asleep? It is slowly waking up, the human side of me, and I'm finding out there are more than just basic instinct: lust, hunger."

He glanced back at the road, but I felt rooted to my seat, "What else is there?"

His eyes were intense as they looked back at me, "A need so deep, it claws at you. You would kill for it, die for it. It surpasses what humans term as love, as devotion, as adoration. It possess you, and you want to possess it."

My heart thumped in my throat, and I didn't know how to react to what he was trying to tell me. So I sat there, stupidly.

He reached over, that small uneven smirk on his face again. His finger was under my chin, and he closed my mouth, which I hadn't realized was hanging wide open.

He sighed, and turned back to the road, "We need answers. We need to talk to someone who isn't guessing at visions of the future."

"Who is that?"

"We're going to see an old friend of my father's."

* * *

**A/N**

**Well then, a little plot with a side of demon.**

**Bsns:**

**I posted a one shot for Fandom Gives Back titled Love Song. Thanks to ChiTwiGirl who was the winning bidder.**

**Also, my collab with lambcullen is up, it's under the author name ElusiveLamb. Link on my profile if you're interested. Thanks to landdownunda for organizing the team, and for all the lovely lassies who bid!**


	24. Chapter 23: A Man For All Seasons

**A/N**

**Steph Meyer created the crack we're all hooked on, and she never even had to write the word cock. Go fig.**

**I'm very sorry you've waited so long for an update, angels. Real Life has a way of holding creativity hostage at times.**

**Thanks to Lambcullen who makes sure the demon's t's are crossed and his I's dotted. Among other things…**

**And also thanks to Snshyne, my pre-reader extraordinaire, who is an absolute gem. ***Snshyne confirms there should be a panty warning with this chapter.*****

**Music for your pleasure:  
****So Cold: Breaking Benjamin (acoustic)  
****Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta: Geto Boys  
****Dutch Courage: The Spill Canvas  
****The Pot: Tool  
****Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing: Chris Isaac**

**

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"_And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you—where would you hide?"  
Act One, Scene Seven, __A Man For All Seasons_, by Robert Bolt

EPOV

I was furious that Alice had involved herself.

_Why_, after all this time, could she not come to me?

I had forbidden her to make contact with Bella, but she flaunted my wishes, and chose to do as she wanted. Perhaps I am lucky that she only delivered a message, as morbid as it was.

I inhaled, and Bella's scent filled me. I briefly wondered what she was thinking about. Her heartbeat seemed at rest, which I found strange. Did she not fear her own death?

But then, Bella was not a predictable human.

The rain became heavier, and the storm darkened sky conceded what was left of the day's sun. The headlights were already on, and they cut a swath along the dark road.

Bella's voice broke the silence, "Edward?"

"Yes," I answered, listening to her heart kick in nervousness.

"What happens when you're…changed? How does it work? Will I have to drink your blood?"

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. I did not wish to have this conversation with her, but it would seem our time was running out. I stared straight ahead, as I answered her question.

"No. It's far removed from what Hollywood would have you believe. I am poisonous, I have venom, and if you have the right amount of it in your blood, it will change you," I sighed, "The process takes about three days to complete, and during that time, you would be in complete agony, as your body slowly dies, your soul with it."

Bella was silent as she took this in, and again, I would have given much to hear her thoughts ticking away. In frustration, I gave the engine more gas, and listened to the roar of pistons working harder, churning out speed. The rapid rhythm of the windshield wipers made quick work of the dotted rain drops.

"How do you," she paused, and I heard her take a breath, "How do you die?"

I looked at her, my eyes locking with hers, "We must be dismembered, and the pieces burned to ash."

I watched her pupils dilate, and quickly turned my gaze back to the road.

The rest of the drive was silent, and we entered the streets of Seattle quietly, the city pulsing with electric light and vehicles.

I checked the time, it was only just after ten. Maneuvering the car towards our destination, I wondered if Marcus would be at home yet.

I parked outside of his building, and asked Bella to wait, while I rang the buzzer.

There was no answer, and I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I needed answers as soon as possible, and I slammed the door to the car as I sat back down in the driver's seat. Bella flinched, and I gritted my teeth. I could feel my jaw ticking, and I knew if I was not careful, I would frighten her.

The car roared to life as I turned the ignition, and I took the shortest route home. Before we pulled up to the house, I noted another car in the driveway, and a ghost of familiar thoughts echoed from within my house.

_Thank fuck he's home. Took him long enough. _

I glanced at Bella after I parked inside the garage and turned the car off.

"Emmett is inside," she tensed, "Relax. He just wants to talk. And he likes you, don't worry."

We got out of the car together, and I put my arm around Bella's waist. We walked together towards the door that led into the house.

Once inside, I flicked the lights on for Bella's benefit, as I could see perfectly in the dark. Emmett sat in the living room, and blinked at us when the lights illuminated the room.

Bella was still tucked into my side, and both Emmett and I heard her swift inhalation at the sight of him.

"And to what do I owe this brotherly visit, Emmett?"

His thoughts flickered to Alice, before he answered out loud, "It's about Alice. Rose went to see her, but she's gone, the apartment cleared. We were wondering if you had seen her."

"I have not. But she kidnapped Bella for a few hours, and had a lengthy conversation with her."

Emmett looked at Bella with renewed interest, "What did she say?"

Bella swallowed, and we heard her body react to the attention from Emmett, "She told me I would be dead in two weeks."

I looked sharply at Emmett, "Do you or Rose know anything about this?"

Emmett's mind registered shock, "No. She's been quiet for weeks, but then started feeding again. We thought she was starting to get better."

"I met up with Jane two months ago. She was in Forks with Demetri."

"Shit. Are you serious?"

"Yes. Apparently they were looking to recruit Alice."

Emmett let out a low whistle, "Fuck. Do you think she's said yes?"

"I do not know. The Alice I knew would never be happy with the Volturi. But much has changed since I left, and since I returned."

Emmett turned to Bella, "What exactly, did Alice say to you?"

Bella stammered as she related the entire discussion to Emmett. I could tell she was still uneasy around him, and his mind drew the same conclusion. He tried to put her at ease, relaxing his posture on the couch, his face concentrating on her words.

It was silent when she finished, and then Emmett looked at me, "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure. I was looking to speak with Carlisle's old friend," I looked pointedly at him as he pictured Marcus, "here in the city, but he wasn't home."

Emmett and I then launched into a debate about the Volturi, and whether it was them that would be involved.

In the middle of our discussion, there was a dull rumble, and I glanced at Bella with a knowing smile.

"Sorry," she whispered, and her hand came up to her stomach.

I stroked my finger down her cheek, "You do not need to apologize for being human, Bella. Unfortunately, I do not have any food in. I will take you across the street."

She shook her head, "No, you stay and talk. I think I need to be alone with my thoughts for a little bit."

I was loathe to let her out of my sight, especially with Alice running renegade.

Emmett looked from the two of us, and a solution wandered through his head before he spoke out loud.

"Jesus Edward. You guys afraid to order pizza?"

Bella snorted, and I looked down at her, raising my eyebrows.

"Would pizza be sufficient?"

Her mouth lifted in a small smile, "I suppose so."

I found a Yellow Pages in the rarely used kitchen, and Bella got to work flipping through the phone book at the table. I entered the living room once again and sat across from Emmett.

The pizza was ordered, delivered, and eaten. When Bella had eaten her fill of the vile smelling creation, she set it outside, explaining she would throw it away in the morning in her own trash can. She felt bad for littering in my backyard, and asked several times if I was sure.

Finally, she settled on the couch, and listened to Emmett and me theorize about Alice and about the Volturi. She sat raptly, and then I noticed she slowly edged herself closer to my side. I watched her shift herself gradually, until finally our knees touched.

Emmett smiled a knowing smile at me, but the conversation never faltered.

However, another conversation brewed, one sided, from Emmett.

_She likes you, Edward. Humans don't naturally cuddle up to us._

I looked down at Bella, whose eyelids were now growing heavy. Her chin nodded forward, and she caught herself, her eyes blinking wildly.

_Aww, go on and put your arm around her. You know you want to. _

I shot him a glare that should have pulverized granite.

_Oooo, touchy! You may have more than a quarter of a century on me, brother, but _you_ have the emotional aptitude of a rock. _

Bella's chin started to go again. This time, she lost her battle and slumped forward, obscuring her features.

_Christ, Edward. At least put her head on your shoulder. She's probably gonna get one of those things humans get in their necks. _

I swiftly looked down at the delicate pale skin covering the back of her neck, searching for any sign of injury. Emmett was still trying to decide on the human malady he was predicting for Bella.

_A kick…no. A pick…no. A prick…heh…no. A crick! Yeah, I remember seeing it on TV. I have no idea what the fuck it is, but it sounds awful. _

I quickly manipulated Bella's head onto my shoulder. She briefly opened her brown eyes, before slipping back into sleep.

Emmett and I watched as one of her hands came to rest on my shirt. She sighed in contentment, and rubbed her cheek against my arm.

As I watched her, I was aware that Emmett was softly singing love songs, while his thoughts held a mocking edge.

_Why do birds, suddenly appear…_

"Stop," I hissed at him. His lips twitched into a grin, and off key in his mind, he continued.

_Every time, you are near. _

"You will pay dearly for this."

He only laughed quietly to himself, his golden irises full of mischief, like a naughty child who is never sorry.

I looked at him then, and for once, I truly saw Emmett. I had known him as both dying human and transformed vampire. While he had no apparent abilities, his size alone banked intimidation on his side to both mortal and immortal beings.

He had always been so easy going, which seemed at odds with his predator nature. He was playful, he enjoyed pranks and dares, and human inventions like TV, as well as other such forms of entertainment. Emmett chose not to work, not that he would need to, considering the amount of money that sat in his bank account from the careful investments that he and Rose made on the advice of Alice.

His general lightness could sometimes cause him to be written off as a lesser intelligence. I wonder if somehow, he was fooling us all. If he had all the answers to this life, while I delved too deeply looking for complex answers to simple questions.

I remember when Rose had brought him home. Originally, Rosalie was changed by Carlisle, as a way of supplementing the loss of my soul by tearing someone else's away. In a more archaic sense, Carlisle had hoped to supply me with a mate, hoping the distractions would bring me out of my embittered ennui.

Needless to say, Rose and I were not a match.

Rose fell into her own lonely pattern, and her vain personality enjoyed her enhanced looks, but as humans generally shied away from us, there was no one to fawn over her.

There was an evening when she was out hunting alone, she had been going farther and farther from the house. It was quite late when she arrived back, and the smell of human blood filled our nostrils as she drew near.

I smiled, wondering if Rose had given into her instincts.

We were all surprised, however, when she stumbled in, with a barely alive, and very human Emmett over her shoulders. She dumped him on the living room floor, getting blood over Esme's pale carpet.

I looked up from the book I was reading, "The kitchen is through there, if you wish to take your prize buck through." I nodded in the direction with my chin.

She flipped her blond hair over her shoulder, and sneered at me, "Why don't you go upstairs and rub one out, Edward."

I ignored that, and looked over her shoulder at the man lying in the middle of the living room. I tsked, his body nearly ripped to shreds, "Rosalie, you have made quite a mess of your meal. Surely you know you don't need to maul them to feed?"

She ignored me as Carlisle appeared at her side, "Rosalie, what have you done?"

She huffed, "I haven't done anything. I was watching him, he was out hunting, and a bear charged him. He didn't have time to react, and the bear mauled him. I was able to pull the bear off, but it was already too late. There's something about him Carlisle…"

Her hand came up to smooth a lock of black curling hair away from his forehead, "I want him. But I can't do it without…"

Her words trailed off, but her mind showed imaginations of draining Emmett completely, his heart beat slowly fading into quiet stillness.

Carlisle's gaze met Rose's, his eyes serious, "This is a big decision, Rosalie. Are you sure?"

She nodded, "Please help him, Carlisle."

I rolled my eyes and slammed my book shut. Stalking out of the room, I could hear in Carlisle's mind the preparations that were needed to be ready to make the change, and have a newborn vampire in the house.

_Great. _

Emmett had been like most newborn vampires, vicious, thirsty, and full of bloodlust. After the first year, he had settled down, and took to his new immortal life with vigor. He adored Rose, and in turn, she loved him fiercely.

He never questioned his immortality too much, he just seemed to go with it, and enjoyed every moment.

I was willing to acknowledge that I was, and am, almost jealous of just how easy he seems to take everything. His thoughts were never dark or resentful, and he never seemed to have that jaded edge that Jasper or I had.

He was just perpetually happy.

He was looking back at me, and I could tell my intense stare was beginning to get to him.

_What? _

"Emmett. Do you ever feel that something has been taken from you? Something you cannot replace?"

He chose to speak out loud, "In what sense?"

"From your transition of your human life to your immortal life."

Emmett's mind moved through very dark and fuzzy memories from his mortal life. It was hard for him to resurrect these old images, like fading photographs from another time. It was the same for all of us.

He showed me his time as a logger, and various scenes of camaraderie between himself and other humans.

"I miss being able to get drunk, I think."

I laughed, a short sound, and quickly looked down to see if Bella had stirred. Her breathing was deep and even, and she seemed undisturbed.

My eyes met his again, "That's it?"

Emmett's face grew uncharacteristically serious, and the jovial layer was peeled back, revealing a deeper side that he rarely showed, "You and Jasper both, you didn't ever seem to get it. All humans," he gestured towards Bella, "they get one shot, one life, and then they're gone," he snapped his fingers, the sharp quick sound of his indestructible skin and bones making the sound louder than any human fingers could make.

He continued, "But we get an eternity. Why spend eternity moping around and wondering if your soul exists? We are fucking immortal, Edward. We don't have to worry about losing people, getting sick, or the shit that's on the news. We have from now until whenever to live a hundred different lifetimes. The only exchange is going out and killing a deer or bear every few weeks? Sign me the fuck up!"

He held out his large hand and counted off on his fingers, "I get to screw the hottest blonde on the planet. I don't have to work if I don't want to, I can go out and pretty much do anything that I like, within reason, and I'm never going to die or get old. You guys look at this life from the wrong angle. Carlisle wants to help people and shit, because he thinks he has things to make up for. That's his business. For me, I would much rather enjoy this ride for as long as it lasts.

"All kidding aside, I see the way the two of you move around each other. Why not just make it official? Change her, make her yours; teach her how to eat people or whatever. Just do it before time runs out…

"While she's human, there are no second chances. You know how the Volturi are; probably better than I do. If they get wind of just how much you've exposed our world to her, you know how it will end. For both of you."

For once, it felt like Emmett was wiser, and I asked him, "Emmett you embrace your own humanity, you have never locked that side of you away. I can hear it in your thoughts, the way you _feel_. When you woke after your change, even as a newborn vampire, you took one look at Rose, and never looked away from her. How did you know?"

Emmett shrugged, "I just did, man. She was there, and it was like everything arced in my world and was suddenly attached to her. She'll never say it out loud to anyone but me, but it's the same for her."

"I have spent most of my life regretting someone else's decision. I don't want it to be the same for Bella."

"It doesn't have to be that way, Edward. I like her, she's cute, and seems to bring out a better side of you. When was the last time we talked like this?"

I didn't have an answer.

_Exactly._

Just then, Emmett's phone rang, and he stood up to answer it, turning his back on Bella and me.

It was Rose.

"Hi Sweetheart."

_Hey. Does he know anything?_

Emmett glanced back at me over his shoulder before answering, "Yeah, apparently Alice spoke to Bella."

_Oh my God. Is she…did she…?_

"Bella's fine. Alice made some prediction that Bella would be dead in a couple of weeks…"

Emmett continued filling Rose in, and I looked down at Bella sleeping at my side. It would appear Bella and I would need to have a long talk. And soon.

+IA+

EPOV

I was not going to let Bella out of my sight, much to her annoyance. She had woken shortly after Emmett left, requesting I at least take her to her house for a little while. The pizza box was remembered and discarded in her trash, and I searched her house, making sure the house was clear.

Alice may have implied she wanted what she termed as my happiness, but to me, her intentions did not seem coherent with her actions. So for the time being, I was very wary of her true objectives.

Bella rolled her eyes at my precautions, and puffed on her cigarette as she entered the house. She started for the stairs, and yelped when she realized I was right behind her.

"Jesus, Edward! Can you _not_ do that?"

"Do what?"

"You're kinda on my ass," she said, as she continued her ascent, "A little breathing space would be nice."

Bella reached the top of the stairs, and moved towards her bedroom. She pulled out what appeared to be a change of clothes, and ground her cigarette end in an ashtray on her dresser.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight." My voice seemed like a quiet rumble across the room.

She flipped her dark hair over her shoulder, "You're not going to be able to follow me around while I'm at work."

I crossed my arms in a gesture I was not aware I had made until it was done, "No I won't. Because you're not going."

Her eyes grew wide, "Excuse me?" Her tone was icy.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to make her understand. Finally, I looked up at her, fully unleashing my crimson glare on her. She froze as I spoke.

"Per haps you do not fully grasp what has happened. You have been given an ultimatum with a very limited amount of time. _Two weeks_, Bella. You have two weeks of your human life left, in which you must decide your own fate. And you choose to spend the precious resource you've been given by going to work? You are acting like there is nothing wrong, as if your would isn't ending soon-" I stopped as I heard her heart rate pick up, as well as her breathing.

She swallowed, and then answered, "Edward. I was there. I know what Alice said, and I heard some of what you and Emmett said last night. I'm doing mundane human things because if I don't, I'm gonna start fucking panicking." Her eyes watered slightly; I could smell the salt in the air. She cleared her throat, "So, I'm sorry if this seems odd to you, but my routine is how I cope. Now get the fuck out of my room so I can change. I need a moment by myself."

We stared each other down, and I could see that if I should press further, it would be a mistake. Finally, I acquiesced, and gritted my teeth together as I moved back out of the doorway, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I was in the darkened hallway, and listed to all the little noises happening on the other side of the door.

A sniffle, followed by another. The smell of fear slithered from under the door, but nothing else, and I concluded there was still no one but Bella on the other side of the door. The sniffling turning into a loud dry sob, followed by heavy, labored breathing.

The sharp sound of knuckles rapping against the wood of the dresser, a punch? The deep sob continued until it abruptly stopped, followed by a soft whisper.

"Stop freaking the fuck out, Bella Swan."

She swallowed loudly, and this was followed by the rustle of cloth running over skin, and her shoes hitting the floor.

Finally her footsteps moved to the door, and the doorknob turned. I leaned away from the door, resting my back casually against the wall.

Bella's eyes did not meet mine as she exited the room, and I noted they were slightly puffy. She wore a black tank, and tight black lycra pants that ended mid calf. Her feet were bare, her toenails shined like obsidian in the weak light.

I followed her downstairs, and into her workout room. She pulled a roll of tape from a shelf, and sat down on a metal chair to tape her knuckles and her feet. The tape was a bright fluorescent pink, and Bella tore it from the roll with her teeth.

When she finished, she replaced the tape and picked up a small remote. Pointing it at what appeared to be a stereo system, loud rock music blared into the room, making the glass windows vibrate in their frames. She moved to the hanging bag on the far side of the room. I stepped into the room, rather than linger in the doorway. She didn't seem to notice me as she circled the hanging foe, her fists flying towards it, her legs kicking. She fought it, boxed with it, dodging blows, and landing graceful hits that would have echoed loudly across the room if not for the grinding music.

Slowly, Bella's body began to run slick with sweat, her face moist, her black tank clinging to her back. She placed kick after kick, punishing herself. Her smell, which was already in the air by her proximity, grew headier, more intense, as she continually beat at the bag.

On and on she raged, until the CD ran out and it was just the quick rhythm of her own breathing, coupled with the smack of her limbs against the artificial fibers.

She started to tire, and as the bag came towards her, swinging on the momentum of her tirade, she embraced it, her hands on either side, and laid her head against it, no longer fighting it.

Bella panted for a moment, her body dripping with exertion. She eventually stepped away from it, and started to unwrap her hands. Still, she ignored my presence, and sat back down in the chair, to unwrap her feet. Gathering the tape, she stood and walked towards the kitchen, threw the tape away, and dug out a bottle of water from the fridge. Drinking her fill, she left the bottle on the counter, and made her way towards, and then up the stairs.

Quietly, I followed behind her, watching her movements. Her silence was frustrating, her scent maddening, and I knew I would have to have her. Soon.

Bella bypassed her bedroom and went straight for the bathroom. She left the door open, so she wasn't shutting me out. She left the light off, enough afternoon light came through the window to illuminate the white tiled room in gray gloom.

I watched as she took her hair down, and then slowly peeled her workout clothes off. Naked, she walked to the glass enclosure of the shower. Stepping inside, the water turned on, and she stood under the spray. Her hair flattened against her head, and she allowed the water to hit her full on in the face, before bowing her head to it.

She lathered up what looked like a loofah, and smeared the soapy foam over her body. I stood, transfixed by what should have been a privately intimate moment. It reminded me of a moment several months ago, when I had stood outside of the door, and could only hope to see the vision that was now in front of my eyes. She had let me in, knew I was standing there, watching. Nothing about her movements came across as knowingly seductive, but it was. I could feel myself straining against my trousers, and the steam did nothing for the dry burn in my throat.

She washed the foam from her body, and proceeded to wash her hair. My hand came up, and I palmed the head of my cock, inhaling more of her scent and the artificial smells of soap. Hers was the most powerful, most poignant, and the water enhanced it, making it a powerful aphrodisiac to me.

I stepped forward, unbuttoning my shirt, and shrugged out of it. My trousers were next, and I left them on the floor. Her back was to me now, and slowly I opened the door. I saw her tense slightly in awareness as I stepped inside the shower.

Warm water hit her already slick skin, and as I moved closer, it hit my skin as well.

My hands settled on her shoulders, and I moved one to smooth her wet hair away from her neck. Leaning in, I kissed the place where her shoulder met her neck, and felt her tremble under my touch. I could hear her breathing, her pulse, and knew she was aware of me as I was of her, knew she wanted what I did. Consciously or unconsciously, she moved her backside closer to me, pressing against my cock. I moved my hips at the same time, and felt myself press against the soft skin of her back.

I moved up, kissing her neck, as the water continued to hit us, warming my skin. I reached her ear, and whispered her name into her ear. My hands moved over her shoulders, to her sides, and wrapped around her.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. I'll protect you." She shivered again, and her breasts were warm against my arms. I moved my hands, cupping them, kneading them, my thumbs stroking over her tightening nipples.

Bella tried to move, and I allowed her to turn in my arms. Her skin slid against mine, her breasts pressing against my chest as she faced me. Her eyes met mine, her eyelashes wet, her irises vulnerable and dilated.

We paused, and the sounds around us filled the air, combing with the steam, making it heavier. My throat burned, my cock pressed against her belly, and her breathing became harsher, as if she was going to sob again.

She raised herself to kiss me, and I met her halfway. It was violent, and our need wrapped around us, as water continued to harshly spray us. Her tongue met mine, pushed, and our teeth gnashed as we tried to devour each other. Her hands moved, her arms freeing themselves, and I felt her squeezing the tops of my arms. I held her head steady, my fingers threading into her wet hair.

I anchored her to me, to my mouth, to my body and she wound her arms around me, her scent enveloping me.

I allowed myself to examine what losing her would be like, and a growl built low in my throat.

She pulled back from me, panting, her eyes wide.

"What's wrong?" she asked, breathlessly.

"I will not lose you."

It was an order. A command.

But this was not a decision I could make for her, and I realized that my future was tied to hers. We were hurtling closer and closer to the sun, and I waited for the word from her to change our trajectory.

She reached behind us, and switched the water.

It was suddenly quiet, but my sensitive hearing picked up the mundane sounds I was used to drowning out. They roared in my ears, the sounds of cars on the road miles away, the minds of people, the wisp of a breeze shifting leaves on a tree at the end of the block. An animal foraging for food underneath the tree, moving aside old crisp leaves.

I tried to shut it all out, wanting only the sound of her, the taste of her. I could smell her wet skin, her aroused sex, and the blood rushing wetly through her body, pumped by her heart.

Her hand found mine, and she pushed the door open, air whooshed the steam, swirling it around us. She pulled me out of the shower, walking backwards. I watched as she dried herself off, before wrapping a towel around herself. She towel dried her hair, and then pulled out another towel, and advanced on me. Vigorously she rubbed, and now and again, terry cotton was replaced by her warm lips, her tongue, as she sipped water from my skin.

Eventually, Bella wrapped the towel around my waist, her fingers lingering over my hips. She didn't make another sound, and no further words passed between us.

Quietly, she quit the bathroom, and I followed her out into the hall, and into her room. She lit a cigarette, and went into her closet, pulling out a pair of what smelled like leather pants and a black t-shirt.

She seemed to be in an odd mood, quietly introverted, the same way she'd been after Jacob died. Her quiet silences frustrated me, especially after nearly having her in the shower.

"Bella, we have to talk about this at some point," I said.

She exhaled smoke into the air, "I know. I just-can't right now. I can't decide. It's hard; it's not a decision I can make like that." She snapped her fingers, a smaller delicate sound of fragile bone snapping.

I ran a hand through my wet hair, "May I remind you the transformation takes three days, Bella. And you will need to…hunt afterwards. Our time is running out, and I do not want to make this decision for you."

She nodded, and her eyes looked away from mine, and she stubbed out her cigarette on the dresser.

"What is it?"

She bit the inside of her lip, and then shook her head.

I moved too quickly for her, making her jump, but I was next to her, my hand moving her chin up, forcing her to look at me.

"Talk to me."

Her eyes looked away, and I tightened my fingers on her chin, "Bella, you have to be able to talk to me."

There was a vulnerable strength in her eyes, like a wound newly healed, the skin still delicate and pink, and paper thin.

"I'm afraid of you."

I hissed in an air, ready to deny any fears she should harbor of me.

She shook her head again, "No, not that kind of fear. I gave half of my life to Jake. Thirteen years of innocently following him around, like a loyal puppy, and never really seeing the bigger picture until it was too late. How can I not question a future based solely around being the other half of someone, when I just got all of me back? I don't want to be the flavor of the month for you, Edward."

I tried to keep the anger out of my voice, but suspected I had not quite succeeded, "Bella. I wish I could somehow implant this into your brain, to make you fully understand. You are far from flavor of the moment. Although your taste is uniquely addictive." My fingers caressed her, and my eyes looked into hers as I swallowed venom back, "I want you. All of you. Forever."

I kissed her mouth, and before it went further, I pulled back, "But I will not take from you. Therein is your difference, if you need it pointed out to you. Your life is yours, how can I selfishly take from you if it's not what you truly want?"

Her chin trembled, and I pulled farther away to look at her face, taking in all of her human features, and felt something burst again inside me, an instinct more than just to protect what was mine.

She leaned in to kiss me, and this time it was slow, soft, her lips leading, her tongue touching my lower lip, before searching for my tongue. I answered back, and moved my mouth with hers, angling my head, deepening the kiss.

Her towel fell away, and she pressed her warm flesh to my cold skin. It was frantic, desperate the way our mouths moved, her hands pulling at my hair. My hands moved to her hips, and I lifted her. She wrapped her legs around me as I walked forward. The dresser was closest, and as her bottom met the polished wood, she reached behind her, clumsily clearing the small trinkets and ashtray to the floor.

The crystal ashtray shattered, but the delicate broken sound didn't interrupt us. I moved my lips to her chin, her neck. Covering her with cool wet kisses on her hot skin, while she panted in my ear. I tried to slow down, but I needed all of her now. I bit her gently on the muscle connecting her neck to her shoulder, and she gasped at the pressure.

I wanted to taste her first, her sex, before I tasted her blood. My lips moved down the centre of her chest, teasing around her nipples. I flicked my tongue over each one as she balanced herself with her arms, arching her back. I knelt between her legs, placing a kiss on the inside of each thigh before kissing her sex.

I moved her to the edge of the dresser, and my hands held her hips, as my tongue delved between her lips, licking her in one long sweep to her clitoris. She moaned, and I glanced up to see her pale skin flushing, her taught nipples pink.

Bending my head back to her, my fingers separating her, I placed my mouth over her aroused flesh, and sucked her with my tongue as her fingers sank into my hair. I heard her breath break, and she flexed her hips as I tasted her. She was exquisite, her heat burning my mouth, as my tongue swirled, teasing her.

"Oh fuck, Edward." Her voice was husky, and I could feel her legs trembling. I moved my tongue faster, harder over her, until her breathing was faster, her heart pumping wildly in her chest.

She teetered along the edge, and then she was coming, her fingernails on my scalp as I watched her beautiful face relax in ecstasy. She collapsed back on her elbows, and then on her back, her neck at an awkward angle against the wall. Her chest rose and fell, her eyes fluttering close.

She roused quickly though, and her eyes were hungry as she saw me stand, my cock still hard with arousal.

I picked her up, straightening her, and she spread her legs in anticipation, her body coming to life again.

My hands were on her hips again, and my lips were at her ear, my nose inhaling her beautiful scent.

There was no more waiting, I pulled her hips against me, and entered her quickly, thrusting inside, and heard her purr match my grunt.

"I fucking love you inside me, Edward. Hard, Edward. Go hard. Please," she begged.

Her words incited the beast, and he wanted more than to oblige her.

The dresser trembled and shook at our movements, and she threw her head back as I withdrew and filled her again, our skin smacking together at the force. I moved my hips again and again, and she bucked against me, making me growl. I could have gone on, I felt her delicate teeth on my shoulder, biting hard, as I fucked her, owning her as much as she owned me.

Just as I felt her about to orgasm again, I bit into her neck. She gasped, and a total animalistic sound left her throat as she felt me enter her again. I drank the dark nectar from her neck, as I felt a violent coil form in my abdomen. My hands tightened on her hips, and I came with her blood on my lips, and the sound of her heart thudding in my ears.

+IA+

Again, our physical connection railroaded the conversation we should have had, and I shouldered that entirely. I was the stronger one, I should be sitting her down and dispelling this human tendency to deny the obvious.

However, I found I could not deny her any last few human experiences she wished to have. I could not make choices for her, as much as I wanted to.

I grimaced when she said she wanted to ride that motorbike.

We took off down the streets, they were slick from last nights rain, and the setting sun glinted off of our helmets. She had offered to let me ride first, but protecting her was easier from this position, and I greedily enjoyed having her pressed against me was delectable.

We arrived at the theater, she parked in the small spaces outside. Bella pulled her helmet off, her black hair shimmering in the dying light. I tried to imagine her as a vampire, as something cold. She was perfection to me already, outshining every star around her, but what would her immortal beauty be like?

She would be pale, no doubt. Her hair darkly contrasting with her perfect skin, the luster of a perfect pearl. Her smile, would it be cruel? Intimidating? Calculating? Her human naiveté replaced by a budding ancient awareness?

She was perfect now, and she would be perfect then. There was something ferocious in the way I felt towards her, nearly surpassing every other instinct inside of me.

She walked slowly, and I wondered at what vantage point could I watch from inside the theater. As we approached, I was a aware of a familiar stream of conscience, and I looked up, meeting Marcus' eyes behind a pair of tinted glasses.

A crimson fire, winding and burning like a river, a strong current, binding Bella and I together.

Marcus' gift, reconfirming what I now knew. Just like that night when I had met him here, his eyes burned into mine. Crimson to crimson.

_We have much to discuss, young Edward. _

"Indeed," I confirmed under my breath, low enough for him to hear it, too low for Bella's ears.

We were closer now, and Bella's hand wrapped around the edge of the door, which was wedged open with a scrap of wood. She looked back at me, her helmet in my hand. Her teeth pressed against her plump lower lip, and I found myself reaching up, and pulling it out from beneath her teeth.

"I won't be far," I said. She nodded, and took my helmet from my hands, before disappearing inside. I focused on the steady beat of her heart. I could pick it out at any distance, a steady thrum of rhythm that I was attached to.

I looked to Marcus, who flicked a cigarette away before turning to me.

_It's not safe here for both of us to talk. Do not come by my home again. Aro has caught wind of what you've been doing with Bella. There is a contingent on their way here, Caius is among them. They consider you to be both unaware of the situation, and incredibly stupid to have ever breached our laws so thoroughly. I cannot help you anymore, Edward, I will stand with my brothers. Carlisle wishes to defend you, to help you. _

_My advice: accept the help Carlisle offers. Aro respects him, and will listen to him. As for Bella: Change her, Edward. Change her now, before it is too late._

_

* * *

_

**A/N**

**Closing in now. Four more chapters to go, dolls. *Gulp***


	25. Chapter 24: An Ideal Husband

A/N

Steph Meyer should have made better use of that Vanquish. You know what I mean. Can Vampires fog up windows?

Spesh thanks and gropes to lambcullen to looks after me and the demon. Dunno what I'd do without her.

Hugs and dirty cheap feels to snshyne who prereads and reassures that these words aren't made of fail.

Music:  
Father Lucifer: Tori Amos  
The Night Will Go As Follows: Spill Canvas  
My Immortal: Vitamin String Quartet (cover)  
Stateless: Bloodstream

* * *

'_Do you really think ... that it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to.'  
Act 2, __An Ideal Husband_, by Oscar Wilde

BPOV

I couldn't move for Edward shadowing me, and his eyes watched me, constantly. At first I had felt boxed in, but I realized it was because we seemed to be in limbo, waiting for something to happen.

Edward looked over at me as my phone lit up with a message. We were sitting in his house, as a realtor showed my property to a young couple.

Edward was at his piano, and I sat on a chair he had carried in for me. My nose was currently buried in a book, but I wasn't really concentrating.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket; it was a message from Jess.

**Hi hun. Give me a call when you get a chance x**

I placed my book over the arm of the chair, and quickly pressed the call button. Edward's face was full of questions, and I mouthed _Jess_ to him. His eyebrow rose.

She answered after the first ring.

"Hi!" she trilled. That tone meant plans. It meant big plans, that I was rarely allowed to say no to.

"Hi. What's up?" I asked, barely able to keep the trepidation out of my voice.

"Oh this and that." I was totally suspicious at this point, Jess was horrible at nonchalance.

I laughed, "Out with it Jess."

I could almost see her smiling as she began in one long breath, "What are you doing Friday? And you cannot say no because Tyler already made reservations, and they are for both of you. You and Edward. It's time we all had a meal together, to make sure you're getting on ok, and I want to meet him, and make sure he's not a dickhead."

When she paused, I interrupted her, "God, Jess. Take a breath. Things are a bit funny now, I don't know if I'll be able to-"

"What do you mean funny? Have you guys broken up? Is he being a dick-"

"No! No, no, no. It's not that. I've just got some heavy stuff going on-at the theater, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get it off-"

"Try, Bella. Try for me? Because you love me? And you love Italian food?"

"Oh my God, you're bribing me with fettuccini?" I asked in mock horror.

"Uh huh. You know I fight dirty." There was a male voice in the background, and Jess said to me, "And Tyler says he wants to meet this Edward and size him up. Man to man."

I snorted, and glanced at Edward, who was taking in this conversation quietly from the piano. I knew he could hear it all, but I wondered what he thought of it.

"I'll talk to Edward. But Jess, I meant what I said, I've got a lot on, ok?"

She sighed, "Yeah yeah. Just let me know soon as?"

I nodded as I answered her, "I will. I promise. Call you later?"

"Ok. Bye honey."

I smiled, "Bye."

I looked over at Edward. He quietly regarded me, his crimson eyes studying me.

I got up slowly from the chair, and sat next to him on the edge of the piano seat. It was like flicking on a switch, turning a dial, and my body went from zero to sixty as soon as I brushed against him.

Would it really be this way all the time? This intense?

It was never, ever like this with Jake. Even before we were married.

Nothing had ever been like this. Maybe nothing ever would be again.

I looked at him, and laid my hand over his, where it rested on the keys.

"If I became…like you, would I still go to work? Could I still see Jess?"

He took a breath to speak, "The first year of your immortal life, all you will crave is blood. You will thirst for it, the need will claw at you, and you will quite willingly kill whatever pulses in front of you for it."

I couldn't imagine killing anything. The thought must have shown across my face as I watched one side of his mouth lift in a cruel smile.

"I'm afraid it's true, Bella. You will be stronger than you have ever known, you will be stronger than me as a newly born vampire. It is best to sever the ties you have to your mortal life as quickly as possible. You will not have much time to do so."

"And after the first year?"

"After the first year, you will have until eternity to do as you wish."

"Could I go back to my old job? Could I see Jess?"

He shook his head, "No Bella. You will not be the same, you will not see things the same, you will not be human."

Something that fluttered in the back of my mind decided to finally move to the front.

"What will I eat?"

The thought of killing anyone, anything, disgusted me. I imagined myself breaking into blood banks at night, and stealing slurpee straws from 7-11.

He smiled that cold smile again, "You will eat what I give you to eat, until you can control yourself to hunt on your own."

"Hunt?"

He turned towards me, and with his other hand, brushed my hair away from my face, "Yes, Bella. Hunt."

I shivered at his cold fingers, and his words. They were heavy, and the weight closed around me, settling inside me, as the full scope of what I was actually considering wrapped around my brain.

Hunting. Drinking blood. Killing.

I shrank a little inwardly, and Edward misconstrued it for shrinking away from him. He dropped his hand.

"It's good you are finally grasping this." His eyes seemed so much older than his face.

"Will I still be able to smoke?" _Defense mechanism to the rescue. _

He smiled this time, both corners, "You can smoke until it comes out of your ears."

Another thought occurred to me, "What about money? How will I live?"

He inhaled again, "That's not something you'll need to worry about."

I leaned away from him, so I could fully look at his face, "What do you mean? You don't steal from people, do you?"

He laughed this time, showing all of his lethal teeth, "No, Bella. My financial situation is based on good investments and old money. I promise you, I am not swindling anyone."

I felt my brows furrow, "I have my own money. I don't want to be dependent on you."

His face grew serious again, and I felt his finger move down my cheek, "Something tells me, even after you are changed, that we will be dependent on each other, Bella."

I didn't want to argue about money, not right now. I had my own, and the sale of the house would add to the savings I already had stashed away. I wasn't an idiot, I wanted to bring my share to the table, but I wasn't going to be _kept_ again.

"I need you to know that the money thing is an issue for me," I was pushing, and I felt nauseous for even bringing it up as a topic of conversation, but I'd rather talk about it now, until it was too late.

"Bella, in my world, we will be mates," his hand moved over my arm, to the crease, and I bit my lip as his finger traced the vulnerable veins beneath my skin. "I need you to understand that we will be more than linked over physical intimacy, more than connected than my siring you, it will be something that will shift your entire world, your entire existence. Perhaps you will understand fully after the change. If that is what you decide."

Again, the words from his mouth were so heavy. I was afraid, I could acknowledge that much. Afraid of the unknown, of tying myself to someone again. I had already opened myself to Edward in so many ways, was I ready to make the final steps?

He sighed beside me, and the hand on the piano turned under mine, lacing his long fingers through mine.

"I believe you have had enough for the moment," he said, and raised an eyebrow at me in question.

He rose, his movements fluid, and I had no choice but to follow him. He tugged me into the living room, and I sat with him on the couch. His arm was around me, and although he was cold, and hard, his solid chest comforted me.

"Were you going to ask me about dinner with Jessica?"

"Oh yeah. You don't have to if you don't want to, though." I bit the inside of my lip.

"I think it would be important for you to see her. And for her to see you."

I looked up at him, "And you want to come with me?"

His face almost seemed gentle when he answered me, "I suppose if you are considering my world, I can take a step into yours for a while."

I blinked at him, staring at his face, "What about your eyes?"

The ruby crimson was something I was used to, but I wasn't sure Jess would be able to get her ravioli to her mouth without staring at Edward.

"I'm sure I can think of something. Leave that to me."

That evening, Edward drove me to work, and lingered as I walked inside. I knew he would join me shortly. I could feel his presence, watching me, listening. At first it was daunting, as aware of him as I was. Today was the fourth day, and I could still feel my skin tingling in awareness as I measured a piece of wood before cutting it on the saw table.

I had a pencil between my lips as I slowly ran the wood through the table saw, small pieces of sawdust flew onto the table, and the smell was oddly comforting.

Would this be the same when I was…different? Would I still enjoy tasks like this? Or would I rather rip the head off of people and drain their insides?

I shuddered as I marked another place for cutting.

It crashed into me then, things I never finished or did because I assumed I would have time to do them. I had always wanted to take up knitting, quit smoking, start a vegetable garden, eat healthier, see Ireland.

But there was something else I wanted to do, something I wanted to get back into doing, something I hadn't done since college...

I dropped my pencil, and it made a small plunking sound as it hit the floor and rolled under the table. I flicked off the saw, pulled off my goggles, and bent down to get it. As I stood up, I hit my head off the top of the saw table.

"Fuck!"

Lucky me, I even got sawdust in my fucking hair. I patted and smoothed it out as best I could. Shoving the pencil behind my ear, I stalked off in search of Victoria.

I found her filing her nails, with her feet up on the box office desk. There weren't any customers in, and I rolled my eyes at her laziness. Ever the professional, our Victoria.

"Hey Vic, got a minute?"

She looked up from her nails, and flicked her flaming red hair over her shoulder, "Hi Bella." She smiled like a toothpaste advertisement, and I swallowed down a sarcastic comment.

"Are there any spots open next week Wednesday?" I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, and wondered if my face was as red as it felt.

Her face was suddenly serious, and she was all business as she dropped the fake smile. Her feet came off the desk as well, "What do you mean? For the Local Night?"

"Yeah," I said, smoothing my pony tail, hoping I still didn't have sawdust in my hair.

"Who are you trying to sneak onto the roster, Bella?" Her face was knowing, and she tapped her pen against the desk.

"Me."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head, "You?"

"Um yeah. I used to perform all the time in high school and college. I play the guitar."

She couldn't drag her eyes from me, and then realized she was being rude, before opening the diary she'd had her feet on.

Using her pink pen, she ran down what looked like a list, "Yeah, there's some room. How long do you think your set will be? I've got fifteen minutes here that's free."

Considering I was slightly out of practice, that was perfect.

"I'll take it. Do you need a deposit or whatever?"

She waved her hand at me, "Don't be ridiculous. You're family."

I was taken slightly aback at that statement. Especially coming from Victoria.

"OK…What time then?"

"Nine thirty, Bella."

"Cool." I turned to go, but she stopped me.

"Hey Bella?" she called. I looked back at her, "Break a leg!"

A small rumble that almost sounded like a growl thundered from somewhere in the theater. Victoria shuddered.

"Oh my, that wind is violent today."

+IA+

Friday came too quickly, it felt as if time was like running water, and it didn't matter what way I held my hands together, it continued to trickle away from me at an alarming rate.

I checked myself in the hall mirror, smoothing out a wrinkle in my dress, and studied my reflection one last time.

I was wearing a black vintage swing dress, the boat neckline showed a hint of my collarbone, and the capped sleeves cupped my shoulders. The back of the dress opened up over my shoulder blades, revealing a folded over white collar that was pinned back by two black buttons. I wore a white layered petticoat underneath, and when I walked, the white satin lined edges peaked out. I wore nude stockings with it, that had a black seam that ran up the back of my legs.

I hated getting dressed up, but it's more all the fumbling to finally get to this point. Once I was zipped and buttoned, I was fine. More than fine, actually.

I stepped into my simple black Louboutins, and smoothed my hair back, which was up in a simple ponytail. My bangs curled over my forehead, and I checked my make up one last time. Simple was always better: black lined eyes, a hint of blush and red lips.

I wanted to look my best tonight, since I had finally made a decision.

I wanted to tell Edward I was as ready as I was ever going to be. I wanted to do this, I wanted to try.

I descended the stairs slowly, and Edward was downstairs waiting, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. He wore a black suit, white skinny tie, and his hair slightly mussed.

I wanted to jump him right there.

He smiled at me, and moved over to take my hand as I descended the last stair. I looked at him, and there was something different about his face.

"Your eyes!" I saw them, and it looked as though he was wearing green contact lenses. They were done very well, they looked incredibly real.

His free hand ran through his hair, "I thought my previous color would be best."

I blinked at him, realizing what he meant, "Your eyes were green? When you were human?"

He nodded, and for once the confident look that normally graced his face faltered, "If they are unsuitable, I can wear-"

I shook my head, "No, they look fine. It's just-I'm just used to the red I guess. You look almost-human."

"Almost?"

I blushed, "You're way too good looking to pass as a human male, Edward. Sorry."

He pulled me towards him, "You've never complained." He couldn't resist kissing my cheek, which then turned into kissing my neck, and somehow I was clinging to him, pressing myself against his chest, as he nibbled at my neck.

"Let's not go," I said breathlessly, as his lips found a sweet spot that made my whole body tremble.

He purred against my neck, a low sound that seemed to reverberate from his chest, "As much as I agree with you, you will regret it later."

I sighed as he kissed my ear, "Ok. We better go."

He placed a wet kiss on the part of my collarbone that was exposed, before looking intently into my eyes. He seemed to hesitate, as if he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind. I watched his jaw tick, and then he was reaching for the door, his hand at my back. My heels clicked ominously on the cement floor of the garage, as he moved to open the car door for me.

I was fastening my seatbelt when Edward slid into his own seat, and started the car, the rumble of the powerful engine exciting, as he opened the garage door and backed down the driveway.

I wanted to blurt it out, right then and there, I wanted to tell him that I was ready.

But I didn't. I held it back, because I didn't want it to seem like it was some sort of impulsive decision. And I didn't want it hanging between us during dinner.

He drove, and the car obeyed him. I watched his hands on the steering wheel, lit in flashes by the passing streetlights. The sound of his skin sliding over the steering wheel as we took a corner unnerved me, and I licked my lips. Whatever it was that was always there between us, an energy, something that vibrated in the air, it filled the interior of the car and laid itself against my chest, pressing against my breasts, twisting inside my stomach, and flowed down between my legs. I rubbed my thighs together, and suddenly wished I hadn't picked tonight to be so brave.

The entire drive was tense, and I wondered if he felt it too. At one point, I thought I saw his fingers flex, tightening on the steering wheel. I glanced at his handsome face, but it gave away nothing.

Eventually we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, it was near the docks, and the far windows looked out onto the Sound and the Olympic Mountains in the distance.

Edward opened my door, and helped me out of the car. I took his hand, and pressed close to him, my hands on his chest. Into his ear, I whispered, "I forgot to tell you something."

He tensed, "What?"

"I'm not wearing any panties," I said, and kissed his neck this time.

His hands gripped my hips, and for a moment, I wondered if he was going to throw me over his shoulder, but he was stopped by a familiar voice calling my name.

"Bella!"

Jess and Tyler were just walking up the steps, Jess's dark hair swept up, and a waterfall of curls graced down her back. She wore a soft pink dress, and had obviously found a tie for Tyler that would match her dress.

Jess smiled as she waved at us, and I introduced them to Edward, who greeted Jess, and shook Tyler's hand.

Jess kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Oh my God, Bella. He looks hot. I love your dress by the way."

I knew Edward could hear her, and I smiled as she stepped back, "You look really pretty, Jess. And only you could find a tie for Tyler that would perfectly match your dress."

She giggled, and Tyler smoothed a hand down his tie. He was a tall handsome guy, and the two of them sparkled with health. Tyler had a mop of blonde hair that he kept tucked behind his ears, and baby blue eyes that Jess had talked non stop about for the first two weeks they started dating.

The guys sized each other up in that male way, and Tyler smiled as I felt Edward behind me, my body buzzing with awareness of where his hand rested on my back.

It was weird, there was something annoying me, I felt really on edge. I searched, trying to find out why, and then I realized exactly what it was.

I didn't want to share Edward. With anyone. Even if it was just for a meal with my best friend.

Was it the same for him?

We sat down at the table we were shown, and I had a sudden moment of panic, something I had totally forgotten about. Edward must have heard it, he glanced at me, his green eyes meeting mine as if to say, _What is it?_

What was Edward going to eat? Would he be able to stomach anything?

I shook my head, and shifted in my seat. I could tell I had unsettled him slightly, but he turned back to the menu that was handed to him.

The restaurant's interior was low lit, the walls creamy, and the decoration minimal. There were candles on the table, and their light glinted off of the wineglasses in front of us. The table cloth was a soft cream, and I placed my matching napkin on my lap. Tyler requested a bottle of red wine from the wine list, and after tasting it, he nodded and the waiter sat it on the table.

After awhile, the waiter came back and requested our orders, and I felt myself go limp as Edward calmly placed his order, his soft velvety voice like fine chocolate.

The waitress looked at him, and I wanted to rip her throat out.

It wasn't until she walked away that I was aware there was awkward silence at the table.

I turned to Jess, who was never short of conversation, but was stopped by Edward, who politely engaged Tyler.

"So Tyler, Bella tells me you own your own business?"

I sat back as they launched into a conversation about business, about customers, and advertising. Jess winked at me when I caught her eye. I gave her a look of approval, shifting my eyes between the guys and she mouthed to me, _I know, right?_

I sipped my wine, and the fact that this could be the last time I see Jess hit me. I tried not to let the lump that was suddenly in my throat erupt.

I hate being so goddamn emotional.

Edward glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes, and we shared a brief look. The moment was broken though, as Jess caught my attention.

"So Bella, I feel like we haven't caught up in ages. Tell me something new," she smiled.

I cleared my throat, and set my wine glass down, "Well, I put myself on the list for the Local's Night at the theater."

Jess's eyes nearly bugged out of her head, "Wait. Do you mean to work it or…?"

I nodded, and could feel my stomach twist at the thought of being on stage again, "Performing, Jess."

"Oh my God! Bella Swan, I am so proud of you. And I miss your music." Her eyes moved to Edward, "Have you ever heard Bella play?"

Edward glances at me, and his green contacts regard me. It's like looking at a mask, and knowing the real identity of the person there.

"No, I don't believe I have," he answers, and my body feels his voice like a caress.

Jess turned back to me, "What songs are you going to sing? Do you have a set planned out? How long are you on stage for?"

I laugh at her twenty questions, "I don't know, no, and fifteen minutes."

"You're going to be great, Bella. You should have gone professional."

I shook my head, "No way, Jess. It wouldn't be fun if I had to do it. Fifteen minutes this Wednesday is all I need."

Tyler smiled and sipped his wine, "Everyone should have their fifteen minutes, Bella."

"Can we come?" Jess asked, hopeful.

"Yeah, if you want to. You don't have to though-"

"Shut up, Bella. Of course I'm there, in the front row. Every good performer needs a fan girl."

I smile at her, and let the caustic wall down for a moment, and I can feel those fucking tears itching at my eyes, "Thanks, Jess."

She reaches across the table to me, and takes my hand, where it rests near my glass, "You never have to thank me, honey."

I bite my lip, and Jess can see me about to go.

She sighs, "I'm going to the ladies. Come with me, Bella?"

I nod, and pick up my clutch. The guys stand as we leave, and I brush against Edward. I can smell him, and like a flower looking for sunlight, I involuntarily lean against him, my hand on the center of his back.

Jess leads me towards the door marked _WOMEN _and we head inside. It's artfully decorated, and carpeted before braking into tiling. There was a make up counter, couches, and flattering lighting. Jess pulls out her lip gloss and reapplies it. I stand awkwardly next to her.

Her eyes meet mine in the mirror, "Are you going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to drag it out of you?"

"It's nothing, Jess."

"Bullshit, Bella. Is it Edward? Did you guys have a fight?" She capped her lip gloss, and pressed her lips together.

"No, it's nothing like that."

She raises an eyebrow at me, "So it is something then. What is it?"

I wanted to come out with it, to Jess. But I didn't want her involved in this shit, so I tried to come up with a lie that might explain my departure, "I'm thinking about quitting my job."

"You what? But you love that job."

I shrug, "It's the same old shit, the same old people. I'm selling that house, I'm tired of bumping around in there by myself. I'm thinking about taking a vacation."

Her mouth dropped open, "How long?"

"A long one. I think I need to get away from Seattle, from my dad in Forks. I can feel myself starting to crack up a little."

Her eyes were full of concern, and Jess just couldn't help herself, those arms of hers were around me, and she squeezed. Her perfume was sweet and innocent and I swallowed hard against that lump.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Jess." And I meant that, every fucking consonant and vowel, and it seemed to bounce off the walls, in the nice lighting, of the all too quiet bathroom. Tears rolled down my cheeks and into her hair.

"I know, but you'll be back before you know it, honey. And you can text and e-mail or whatever. I'll be here. You better come back and dance in my wedding, though. You know you're chief bridesmaid."

I rolled my eyes, "Jess, you know I don't fucking dance."

"Bella, you should know me well enough to know this will be a choreographed affair."

I laughed wetly and she stepped away from me, and her eyes were sympathetic, "Look at you, Bella. I can't take you back out there like this." She set her handbag down on the counter, it was five times larger than mine, and knowing Jess, she had everything in there from a fully equipped medical kit, emergency rations, and a full make up case.

Jess attacked me with make up, patching up my face and fixing my liner.

"There. You look gorgeous. Now come on before the boys get antsy."

We walked out arm in arm, and Jess steered the conversation until dinner arrived. We ate, Edward shared a little about himself, details that would seem acceptable to humans.

He went to an Ivy League school back East, studied medicine, finished his residency, and was currently on a brief hiatus until he settled into his father's small town practice.

He was charming, he was polite, and played the attentive boyfriend well, his hand brushing my arm more than once, his eyes meeting mine, and once he leaned over and whispered into my ear while Jess and Tyler were debating wedding music.

"You are alright?"

I nodded, and I felt his lips touch my ear, "I believe I have won over Tyler and Jessica."

I smiled slightly, "I think you have. Thanks for doing this, I owe you."

His lips touched my ear again, and I couldn't help the goose bumps, "I will collect on that later."

Dessert was served, Edward abstained, but I couldn't resist the chocolate cake slice Jess and I decided to share.

The sun had set at this point, and the outside lights glistened on the lapping waves of the sound, the mountains lost to the darkness, and only squinting could bring their outline into focus.

I set down my fork and picked up my clutch, "I'm going for a quick smoke, Edward do you wanna come with me?"

He nodded and stood up with me, his hand at my elbow. The outside doors pushed open and out onto railed decking. The smell of the sea wafted in, and a chilly breeze brushed through my hair, and tickled the edges of my skirt, lifting it slightly. I looked down, and saw the satin white ribbon edges of the petticoat.

I dug my cigarettes and lighter out of my clutch, and held it under my arm as I flicked the lighter to life. The brief orange glow lit the small dome I had made out of my fingers as I lit the cigarette.

I puffed, and the smoke rose and caught the breeze, dramatically whipped away from my body and carried off.

I leaned against the railing and Edward stood behind me, and I watched as his hands settled on either side of me on the old wooden board in front of us. I vaguely wondered if he had to worry about splinters.

But that was forgotten as his body pressed against mine, and his face rested against my neck.

Again, I just wanted to sink into him, into his strength, and not think about saying good bye to Jess.

"You were crying earlier." It was a statement, an observation, but his lips moved against my skin, and I wanted more than was possible in front of a restaurant full of people.

"Yes."

"This is hard for you." His lips moved again, and my ragged nerves from earlier were soothed.

I nodded, and there was that damn lump again.

I inhaled, felt the burn, enjoyed the feeling, and exhaled more ghostly smoke, "It is. A lot harder than I ever thought it would be. I don't want to say good bye."

He was quiet while I finished my cigarette. I stubbed it out, and he released me so we could walk back in together. He excused himself when we reached the table, and I watched his retreating back head towards the men's room.

Tyler must have settled the bill while we were outside, there were mints on the table.

I started to protest, and Tyler held his hand up, "Bella. You're like my little sister. So let me take my little sister and her guy out for dinner. Ok?"

Edward rejoined us, his eyes fierce. Tyler and Jess stood to leave, and we followed them outside. Edward and Tyler walked towards the cars, leaving me and Jess behind them.

"I'll leave your tickets at the box office for you and Tyler."

"Make sure they're good seats, seeing as I'm president of the Bella Swan fan club."

I laughed and bumped her side, and she affectionately bumped me back. We stopped and I stared at the moon, which seemed unusually bright this evening.

"I guess I'll see you later, Jess. Next Wednesday?"

She nodded, "Next Wednesday."

I watched her walk away, and I wanted to call her back, and tell her thank you over and over again, for every time she had helped me, for every time she hadn't let me wallow in self pity, for every time she had picked me up, dusted me off, and encouraged me.

"I love you, Jess," I whispered, as she walked away.

She stopped to wave and I waved back, scrunching my fingers, and it was more of a clawing motion, than an actual wave.

+IA+

EPOV

I watched Bella wave at her friend, and held the car door open as she stepped in.

The engine purred as I left the parking lot, and we pulled out onto the main road. It was almost too quiet, and I could feel Bella fidgeting in the seat beside me.

"So I watched you eat dinner. Where did the food actually go?"

"I swallowed it, but brought it back up before we left."

Bella studied my profile, "I thought you couldn't get sick?"

"I can't. But I don't digest things like you do. It's very uncomfortable to eat human food. It all tastes like ash to me."

"Oh."

The silence seeped back into the car. It had been a long time since I'd had to consume eating human food. I had forgotten just how foul it could be. I turned on the radio, and this seemed to soothe some of Bella's movements.

It did not however, soothe me.

Her smell was driving me close to madness, her body wrapped in its lovely packaging only served to make the clawing desire worse.

Her whispered confession still rang in my ear, and I thought of the naked flesh underneath her skirt. I could feel my cock lengthen and harden further, as I imagined lifting her skirt up, and run my hands up her thighs. I had noticed the seam running up her legs, and wondered if she wore stockings underneath.

Bella didn't seem to notice the speed I was driving at to get us home, I could feel my cock straining against my trousers, and I shifted the engine into a higher gear, pushing the powerful engine to stretch out to its full stride. I heard Bella inhale slowly, her heart pumping in her chest, and slowly exhale. The smell of wine and Bella filled the interior, and I could take no more.

My hand moved over my eyes, I pressed the button for the window, and quickly deposited my contacts in the wind, before raising the window. I down shifted violently, the engine protested, and once we were slow enough, I pulled the car onto the shoulder of the deserted road. We were in the middle of nowhere, trees lined either side of the car, and there were no streetlights this far out. When I cut the headlights, darkness enveloped us.

Bella's head snapped over to look at me, "Why have we stopped?"

"Take off your seatbelt."

Her eyebrows drew together, "What? Why?"

I turned towards her, until my face was inches from her, "Take. Off. Your. Seatbelt."

Her hands trembled as she released the latch and the snarl of the fabric being pulled back filled the silence.

"What's going on?"

I reached underneath me and pushed the seat back from the steering wheel.

"I'm afraid we aren't going to wait until we are back at the house."

It took Bella two seconds, two beats of her heart to put it together, "We're gonna um..in the car?"

"I suggest you remove your shoes."

I heard her swallow and reach down for her shoes, "OK."

My fingers moved over the button and zip of my trousers, and I dragged them down my hips, lifting. Bella's eyes were adjusting, and I could smell the sharp tang of her arousal, it was heavier now.

"Climb over the console, Bella."

I helped her, and she kneeled astride me, her thighs on either side of mine. Her petticoat surrounded us, and I ran my hands underneath her dress, finding her warm skin encased in the silk of her stockings.

Her hands rested on my shoulders, bracing herself, as my hands graced over the lacy tops of her stockings. I wanted to see it so badly, but knew that would be an impossibility in the enclosed space.

So I continued up her legs, up the soft skin of her thighs. Her body seemed poised ready, and my cock brushed her slick sex. I lined her up, and as I pulled her down, she sank onto me. She gasped as I slowly filled her. The moist silky heat of her making my head fall back on the headrest.

Her hands moved into my hair as her hips flexed, and the smell of sex filled the car. She moved slowly, sinking back down, and then faster.

Her lips found mine, and she breathlessly kissed me.

I pumped my hips with her, meeting her, needing her warmth. Each time our bodies met, we both let out a sound: hers a gaspy moan, mine a deep throated groan.

She started to move faster, and I knew she was close, my hands helped her, gripping her hips close to me. It was a race towards gratification, and she broke through, her body contracting, her back arching as she pulled my hair. I continued to move her hips, she was incredibly slick, and I felt a tightening in my abdomen that tingled and eventually shocked its way lower as I joined her.

She collapsed against me, her breath in my ear, her cheek resting against mine. I listened as her breathing calmed, her heart rate slowing.

"Can I confess something?" she said, her voice a hoarse whisper.

"Of course," I answered, unzipping her dress so I could touch the perfect skin of her back.

"I hated sharing you tonight," I felt her jaw move as she licked her lips, "I needed you all to myself. It was strange."

"Why was it strange?" I stroked along the delicate line of her spine, feeling her shiver.

"I'm not used to feeling that…possessive."

I closed my eyes, the intensity of her words slicing through me.

"Edward, there's something else I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

I heard her heart pump faster, it beat against her chest and in turn mine, like a hummingbird's wings. There was a long pause, and I was about to say something when she spoke.

She inhaled deeply and then let it go, "I want you to change me."

I pulled back, trying to see her face, her eyes, "You're sure?"

She nodded, and I was overcome. She was mine already, but now, she would be mine forever.

+IA+

I turned the car onto our street, but tensed as I heard something, a voice echo through the darkness, reaching me.

"Do you think he'll listen? Is this a wasted energy?"

"I cannot let him face this alone. He is my son."

"I'm afraid for him, Carlisle. Alice said he has so much to lose."

"We all do, sweetheart."

* * *

A/N

Hmmm. Three more to go. I have them planned out, and I'm 1K into next chapter. Go me!

If you're not the twitter type, and you missed it, there is an amazing video link for IA made by the lovely MyRobAddiction. I'm floored, it's amazing. It's on my profile, please watch and leave her some love!


	26. Chapter 25: Nessun Dorma

**A/N: Steph Meyer, as you know, owns all the Twilight stuff. I own a mug that says Surrender the Booty.**

**Thank you to Lambie for handholding this week. I promise I'll make a decision. Soon. Ish.**

**Much love to Snshyne for her pre-reading skills, and all around amazing way of reassuring insecure me.**

**Music:  
********What I've Done: Linkin Park  
************The Story: 30 Seconds to Mars  
****************Desperado: The Eagles  
********************Cut: Plumb  
********Colorblind: The Dresden Dolls**

**

* * *

**

'_Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio che ti fa mia.'  
From the aria, __Nessun Dorma_, in the final act of the opera _Turandot_ by Giacomo Puccini

BPOV

Edward and I stepped out of the car, but not before he had warned me, his eyes trying to communicate more than his words:

"Inside there are two vampires. One considers himself my father. I have not spoken to the other in some time. They mean you no harm."

I shuddered and opened my door. He was already on the other side, helping me out. I smoothed my hair down, and pulled a small mirror out of my purse to make sure my make up didn't have that freshly fucked look to it.

We walked into the house, and Edward pulled me into his side, his arm protective around me.

I balked at the sight awaiting us in the living room. The lights were on, the fire lit, and two people stood, their golden eyes watching us.

The first was the icy blond Ken doll from the hospital. He looked like a J Crew model right out of the catalogue; his pale, perfectly handsome face didn't seem real. Standing next to him was a petite female with auburn hair, wide eyes, and striking features. She stood next to the Ken doll, her arms crossed around herself.

She gasped as I came into view, and her eyes studied me from the tips of my shoes to the top of my head, as if she could see every pore. Her face was kind, her eyes soft, and she attempted a small smile in my direction.

"Bella, may I introduce you to Carlisle Cullen, and his wife, Esme."

Carlisle inclined his head, "A pleasure, Bella."

This time Esme smiled fuller, and I couldn't help but return the genuine kindness in it.

"It's nice to meet you," I said, wondering if I should step closer. I tried, but Edward only tightened his arm around me.

He addressed Carlisle again, his voice cold, "Say whatever it is you've come to say, and get out."

Esme flinched, and I felt sorry for her, but I knew better than to get involved in whatever this is.

"Edward, there have been whispers that the Volturi are going to be visiting Seattle. Soon. And I think we both know why." His golden eyes traveled from Edward to me.

"I am aware of this, as Alice paid Bella a visit," he answered.

I shifted on my feet, my legs starting to ache from standing in one position pressed into Edward's side.

Esme noticed my discomfort cleared her throat, "Perhaps we should sit down, Edward."

Edward glanced at me, but his eyes were still angry. I reminded myself it wasn't me, it was Carlisle, he was angry with.

"Very well," he conceded, and led us towards the couch. I sat down first, and he followed me, putting his arm around the back of the couch, his fingers not far from the side of my head.

Esme and Carlisle sat on the couch opposite, where Edward and I had sat a few nights before. Esme crossed her perfect pale legs, and for some reason, I couldn't look away from her tiny ankles.

"Well?" Edward asked, his tone aggressive.

Carlisle placed a hand on Esme's knee, "Edward, I understand you're angry with me, but remember that Esme loves you, and it upsets her to see you so upset."

"Do not use your mate as a shield. You have come here to offer aid that I do not necessarily want."

Carlisle pursed his lips, "Perhaps we should finally have this out, Edward. In all honesty, my tolerance for your hostility is wearing thin."

Edward sat forward and openly growled, "Wearing thin? _Wearing thin? _I do apologize if this is causing you some sort of distress. Perhaps you should have thought twice before you sank your teeth into my neck and took away my human choice."

"You were dying anyways, Edward," Carlisle amended.

"You should have let me die," he hissed, "You should have let me go. Now I am this thing," Edward held his pale hands up, "I am cold, and forced to kill to survive. I am frozen this way, you stripped away my humanity without even thinking. I don't know what I hate more, _you _or what you've made of me."

Esme was visibly upset now, her lower lip disappearing as she watched the volley of words between them.

Carlisle's voice was still calm, "Son, you chose to live your immortality the way you do. I taught you another way, but you chose something else. You made the decision to kill that girl."

_Kill?_

He continued, "You made the decision to leave the family. You made the decision to choose Caius' way of survival. I have never condemned you for the choices you made."

I was lost now, there was obviously more going on than I knew of.

"Caius' way makes more sense. It goes more with our nature than your way of life."

Carlisle sat back, silently, and regarded me. Edward hissed beside me.

"You cannot choose her path as well as yours, Edward. How will you survive? Will Bella be able to feed the way you do? It is different when you have a mate. You cannot expect Bella to stand by while you go back to that lifestyle."

Maybe it wasn't my place to get involved, but my name was being mentioned, and I wasn't going to sit by idly while I was discussed like I wasn't sitting in the room.

"Pardon me for interrupting," Carlisle's eyes lighted on me with surprise, "What lifestyle? What do you mean survive?"

Carlisle's eyes slid back to Edward, and a moment of silence passed between them. I watched Edward's face, and I saw him slightly shake his head, as if answering an unspoken question.

"I'm gonna need some answers," I said, and Edward turned his gaze on me, his eyes almost wild, "Please?" I added.

Edward threw Carlisle a withering look before he turned back to me, "When I was made, every instinct inside me screamed for blood. I fought against it, tried to live Carlisle's way of abstinence from human blood by feeding on animals. This is why their eyes are golden, and mine are not. I could not…abstain. I gave into temptation one night, and accidentally killed a young woman."

He watched as the shock registered on my face, but continued, "Caius found me. He is a member of the governing clan of Vampires. They rule our world. Caius has a very…different way of looking at things."

Edward paused, but I couldn't look away from him. He had never given me this much information before without me asking the questions. I felt like there was some vital piece I was missing, something that Edward didn't want me to know.

He shifted, his body turning towards mine, and his face seemed almost imploring. "Caius…can drink from his victims without turning them, without killing them. He prefers…intercourse with his victims when he feeds."

I blinked, "You mean like…sex? He has sex with his victims so he can drink their…"

My mind whirled, and I flipped back through my memories, to _that_ night. The night when I had woken up after some of the best sex of my life to Edward, with a knife in his hand, licking blood from my leg.

My throat closed over, my body went cold, and I felt sick to my stomach.

I shoved away from him, and fought to the end of the couch, "You-you. And I-."

I stood up, intent on running away from him. The dinner in my stomach soured, and I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Bella, wait." He was in front of me, moving at a speed almost too fast for me to see. He stood in front of the door barring my entrance. He shook his head at me, "It's not safe."

I fucking lost it, "It's not SAFE? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm safer out there, than in here with you. I'm a piece of goddamn fucking meat that you put your fucking cock in? And not only that, but everybody that I've met through YOU knows this? Do you know how that makes me FEEL? Like I'm some pet you keep around, to..to…SERVICE YOU?" I realized I was screeching, I could feel my throat going fucking raw, but I didn't give a shit at this point. His red eyes watched me in shock, but there was something cold behind them, and I wondered if it had always been there, and I was too stupid to see it.

I poked him in the chest, "Fuck you, Edward Cullen. I told you I refused to be flavor of the month. I fucking told you! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and the divorce settlement to prove it."

I tried to move past him to the door but he blocked me, "Get out of my fucking way."

"I don't think so, Bella." His voice held no inflection.

"Fucking move, Edward!" I felt my eyes water, which only pissed me off even more. I don't want to fucking cry, and there is no way I'm doing it in front of him.

I put my hands on his chest, intent on shoving him out of the way, in the hope I would somehow be successful. It didn't work, he didn't even budge so much as a fucking millimeter.

I tried to punch him, and he caught my wrist before it could connect with anything more than air.

"That would be a mistake," he said quietly, "for you."

The sound a softly falling footstep touched the wooden floor behind me, and I jumped as Esme laid her hand on my shoulder.

"Edward. Let her go. You cannot force her to stay. Just as we could never force you. You have to give her a choice."

Edward's eyes stared into mine, and I watched his jaw tick, as he struggled to let me go.

"If you leave, even the slightest hesitation between your heartbeats could be your death. If I'm not fast enough-"

This time the tears were unavoidable, "Consider me already dead, then."

I pushed past him, and this time, he let me go.

I took off my shoes, and burst outside, into the front yard. The night air was quiet, a hint of spring in the air. The moonlight shone, the night sky clear, and stars sparkled silently.

I ran across the street, not even looking for traffic, daring fate.

It wasn't much of a dare, the street was usually pretty quiet.

I fumbled in my purse for house keys, and made it through the front door. I couldn't get upstairs fast enough, falling several times, burning my knees on the carpet, tangling in my petticoat. I got up to the top step, and ran for the bathroom. I pulled at the back of my dress, got the zipper halfway down, and the front of my dress over my arms and down my chest.

My stomach heaved, and I ran for the toilet. Lifting the lid, I emptied the contents of my stomach, and nearly choked on the sobs trying to close my throat.

I fell to my knees as I flushed the bowl down, and cried against the porcelain. I felt fucking terrible, I felt used, raw, and disgusting. I had an urge to tear my dress off, to pull it from my body and be naked under a scalding hot spray.

I tore at the fabric, and was able to get it off my body, kicking it into a heap at my feet as it slid down my body.

Opening the shower, I turned the water on full blast, and all the way into the red, the hot water burning my skin. I hissed as it hit me, and I realized I was freezing cold. But it didn't matter, I wanted to feel it scald me, wanted to feel the pain.

My chest heaved, and the loud sounds echoed off the tiled walls as thick steam filled the room. I could no longer feel the water, and wished there was a way to make it hotter. My skin was red, as if I had been in the sun too long. As if I'd been burned.

+IA+

EPOV

I raged back into the living room, flying with inhuman speed for Carlisle.

"Do you see what you have done?"

My hands closed around his throat, ready to choke him, before ripping his head off. But he did not take my assault lying down. He fought back, and we moved across the room in motions almost too quick for our own eyes.

My fist aimed for his face, but he blocked me. I bared my teeth to him, and he tensed, ready for my next attack.

At one point, Esme tried to intervene, but Carlisle warned her back, "No. This has to happen before we can move forward, love."

I was in his face now, I grabbed hold of the lapels of his jacket, and slammed him against the wall. A dent appeared in the drywall in the silhouette shape of his body.

"You've taken everything from me, and you continue to take. I hate everything about me, about you, about this…this life. What have I become? What have you made of me?"

Carlisle's face was calm as he answered me, "Son, when you lay dying from the epidemic, your mother was in the women's ward. I tended to her in the evenings. You had her eyes."

My eyes narrowed as I listened to him, this information new. Almost a century he had known of my mother, and never shared this information.

He continued, "She begged me. 'Save him. Save my son. Don't let him die.' She made me swear I would do everything within my power to help you."

I could see the memories crystal clear, and for a moment I was looking into the vivid green eyes of my mother, through Carlisle's vampire eyes. There were laugh lines around the soft skin of her mouth, and freckles sprinkled over her nose. Her hair the same color as mine, her skin pale, except the fevered red glow of her cheeks.

Her voice. Her voice was something my fuzzy human memories had never been able to recall.

_Save him, please. Save him, doctor. For me?_

I closed my eyes as Carlisle's memories became my own, my mother's face pleading as a mother can only beg for the life of her son.

Did these words haunt Carlisle? Had the imploring last look cut into him as deeply as it was now slicing into me?

I let go of Carlisle, and he stood of his own accord, still pressed to the wall. I turned away from him, my hand at my forehead, wishing I could put the memories away, but I could still hear her. Begging.

_Save him, please. Save him, doctor. For me?_

The epiphany washed over me then, like a huge wave crashing over me, dragging me into the undertow.

She had begged for me, pleaded for my life, fearing that I would not continue on.

But surely this is not what she would have wanted? If she had known?

Would I have done the same?

Yes, I'm willing to do the same, for Bella.

Faintly, I could hear her heartbeat across the street. I knew she was upset, and I fought the urge to go to her. She was mine, and I hated any sort of distance between us.

I had to finish this first.

I turned back to Carlisle, who had been joined by Esme.

Their eyes fell upon me, and instead of angry bitterness or defensiveness in their eyes, I saw only understanding.

I wanted to hate them for it, but my mother's voice wrapped around the anger whirling in my mind and snuffed it out like a flame. It left only the ghostly reminder of wispy smoke.

Esme was the first to move, and she took a tentative step towards me, "Edward?"

And her mind told me her motives but I wasn't fast enough to stop her. She was across the room, standing in front of me, and her arms encircled my body, pulling me toward her.

"Oh, Edward. We missed you so."

It was an embrace I returned, as a set of green eyes met mine in my mind, forever pleading with me.

_Save him, please. Save him, doctor. For me? _

_For me? _

+IA+

BPOV

I padded out towards the mailbox in my feet which were still taped up from this morning's kickboxing session.

A cigarette hung from my mouth, and I swore as ash fell on my t-shirt. There were crocuses that were blooming indigo purple blossoms around the mailbox. I had planted them one year, and they just kept coming back.

I wondered what would become of them now.

The couple that had viewed the house last week had put an offer in, and I had accepted and signed the paperwork yesterday. The weird thing is, I know I signed the paperwork, I saw my signature on the paper when the estate agent slid it back to her side of the desk.

I didn't remember scratching the expensive looking fountain pen across the little black lines where the sticky post it arrows had been placed.

And I knew why. I knew exactly fucking why.

Because despite how shitty I still felt after four days of separation from Edward, I still wanted him.

I'd had a lot of time to think, now that I wasn't caught up in all the intensity between us. Edward had chosen a specific lifestyle before he'd met me. Apparently, I was next on his list. I still shuddered to think how I would have been used.

However.

His sister had told me she'd never seen him so happy. That he had left the family, perhaps to pursue something else. Was it when he had killed that girl, that the rift had been caused? He had murdered someone, and because he was a vampire, did that make it ok?

Would it make it ok if I was in the same circumstances?

I walked back inside, and shut the door behind me. Placing the paper on the kitchen island, I finished my cigarette and ground it out in the ashtray on the countertop. As I pulled ingredients out of the fridge to shove in the blender for breakfast, I returned to my muddled thoughts.

The whole time we'd been together, even though he had drank my blood, he had never showed the tendencies towards me that Jake had shown.

Jake was intentionally cruel to me during the span of our relationship. He knew exactly where to stick his verbal knives in. He had belittled me, and I had allowed him to strip away every piece of self respect and pride I'd had, believing he had loved me.

Because he had told me so. Jake had said, _I love you_, all the time. His eyes had seemed so honest, and his voice endearing. I melted every time.

Edward had never told me he loved me. I wasn't even sure if I believed that emotion really existed anymore. If he had said it to me, I wouldn't have believed him.

_I love you _meant something else to other people.

To me, it meant enslavement. It meant shackles. It meant that I wasn't allowed to be my own fucking person. I had to follow specific rules, and look a certain way, act a certain way, speak a certain way just to make the other person happy.

Edward had never asked more of me than I could give. He allowed me to say no, even though he was a hundred times stronger than me.

He could have restrained me the other evening, he could have tied me down physically, and kept me from leaving.

But just like Edward had never said I love you to me, he didn't force me to remain with him.

And just like that, I was able to finally close the door on the ghosts in my past.

Setting the blender to liquidize, I watched the tiny fruit pulverize and mix with the yogurt and ice. I picked up my cell phone, and sent Edward a text.

_**Will u meet me tonight after the show? X**_

I didn't have to wait long for a response.

**Yes. What time does the show start?**

_**9PM. Ur ticket will be at the box office. You'll be next to Jess. Is that ok? X**_

**Yes. We have much to discuss, Bella.**

The last text sent a shiver of anticipation up my spine.

+IA+

BPOV

I sat backstage, nervously tuning my guitar, and finally satisfied, took a deep breath, and waited for my name to be called.

God, I want a cigarette.

I stood up, and smoothed my top. It was a small black t-shirt that said in white distressed letters, _It's Only Rock n Roll_. I had pulled on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a black leather belt. Knowing I would be incredibly nervous, I had chosen my Chucks over heels, as falling flat on my face was not an option.

I had curled my bangs, and Jess had helped with the rest, making it softly wave down my back. Then she nearly killed me with hair spray. My make up was simple, dark eyeliner on top, red lipstick and a hint of powder and blush, so the stage lights wouldn't wash my skin out.

Fiddling with the guitar pick, I reached up and flicked it off of my teeth until Mike turned around and gave me a look for making too much noise. I was nervous as hell, but I knew Jess was out there, Tyler too.

And Edward.

I could feel him out there, even from here, from the dark. The connection seemed to pulse until it was almost painful. I wanted to go out to him, to wrap my body around him, and never let go.

I was nervous about performing in front of him most of all.

I didn't have too much time to think about it anymore, as I heard my name called while I was introduced, and Mike, who sat on my usual perch with his headset on, gave me a pat on the back.

I carried my guitar out with me, and nervously slid the strap over my shoulder. Trying to remind myself that the adrenaline rush was a good thing, like it had been before, I smiled at the audience that I knew was there, but couldn't see because the lights were right in my eyes.

A stool was sat in front of the mic, and I hoisted myself up without falling over, which had to be a good sign.

_Breathe, Bella. _

Fuck me, why did I agree to do this again?

My fingers found their places, and I strummed the intro that I knew so well, the song somehow taking hold of me. A lump in the back of my throat formed, and my chest ached as my voice bled the first line into the mic:

_Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?_

The audience was silent, and as I made my way through the song, I could feel them there, beating, pulsing, and quietly rapt with attention.

Finally, I strummed towards the last line, and finished a capella

_You better let somebody love you, before it's too late. _

The audience clapped their approval, and I heard a whistle that could only be Tyler. I smiled, and spoke to the audience.

"Hi. It's been a while since I did this. Thanks."

I had a couple more songs ready, and the rest of the performance was a blur. Those fifteen minutes came and went, and I felt an odd numbness as I bowed and walked off stage.

Mike hugged me, and so did Angela as I came off stage.

"I didn't know you could do that, you were amazing, honey!" Angela squeezed my shoulders.

Mike nodded in agreement, and I spied Marcus standing in the shadows, his eyes meeting mine in the blacklight.

He nodded, and I knew that was all I would get out of him. I felt the corners of my mouth lift up, it was enough.

I looked around me, and watched my crew get the stage ready for the next act while Yorkie had the lights down. That lump formed at the back of my throat again, and I realized for the last few years, that these people had become my family. I had grown up here, starting as a lowly intern, and moved through the ranks. They had quietly tolerated my sharp silences during the divorce, they had taken me out and gotten me drunk afterward.

I would miss all of this, these people. The smell of sawdust, of paint, and the way the stage lights smell when they are just up. The sound of the curtain sliding back and forth, the robotic whir somehow soothing. The routine, and making it run like clockwork, the soft symphony of shoes on a dark stage, moving lighter than ballet dancers under the darkness of black light. Letting the crew go at night, and being the last one out, doing the final sweep of the stage.

I had to get the fuck out of here before I started crying backstage. I packed my guitar into its case, the latches snapping at my fingers. Mike grabbed me before I could escape, and tried to hand me his headset.

"Yorkie wants to talk to you."

I put the headset on, my throat still tight, "Hello?"

"Um, what the fuck, Bella? Could you be any hotter?"

I snorted into the mic, "Whatever Yorkie."

"What are you doing later?"

"Oh my God, do you ever stop?"

"Bella you know by now that I don't give up."

I rolled my eyes, "Bye Yorkie. Try not to jizz on the lighting board."

"Bye, Bella. I'll be thinking of you."

"You better be." I removed the headset and handed it to Mike.

"See you guys later. I'm heading out."

"Bye Bells."

Jess and Tyler were waiting for me, and standing to the side, was Edward. My entire body filled with warmth. It blossomed in my chest and rushed like fire following gasoline down my arms and legs. It took my breath away, seeing his beautiful face.

Before I could go to him, Jess captured me first.

"I am so proud of you, Bella Swan."

I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close. I was probably squeezing her too hard, but she was squeezing just as hard.

"Jesus, Jess. Let her breathe," I could see Tyler's handsome face in the streetlights, as Jess stepped back. He was wearing a shirt and tie, and Jess wore a cute little black dress.

Tyler put his arm around Jess, "You did good, Bells. You should do that more often. You have a knack for connecting with the audience."

I could feel my cheeks go rosy, "Thanks Tyler."

We stood there for a moment more, and I didn't know what else to say. I was fully aware this was it, I was standing on a precipice, looking over the edge about to jump, and no one knew it but me.

I dropped my case and launched myself at Jess.

"Hey! Who are you and what have you done with Bella?" Jess asked, hugging me back.

I swallowed hard, "I'll um…call you next week. We should go out to lunch or something."

"OK, hun. I'd like that. Give me a ring, OK?"

I nodded and reluctantly stepped back from her, and there was a loud awkward silence. Luckily, Tyler broke it.

He put his arm around Jess and cleared his throat, "OK. Well, Jess and I are gonna go for drinks if you want to come?"

He looked from me to Edward and I shook my head, "No, I think I better head home. But thanks for coming you guys. It meant a lot."

"You never have to ask, Bella. You know that."

I nodded, and Tyler led Jess away down the street, I watched as they melted into the evening fog, before finally disappearing together.

I took a deep breath and turned to face Edward. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of glasses, and he took them off, folding them and putting them inside his jacket.

I licked my lips, and his eyes followed the movement.

I was the first to speak, "Do you want to follow me home?"

He nodded, and I turned towards where my car was parked. We walked side by side without touching, and went our separate ways as we reached the car garage, our cars on different levels.

Edward followed me closely behind, and pulled into his driveway as I pressed the button to my remote garage door opener.

I parked the Mustang and covered it. Walking into the house, most of my things were in boxes, lined up in the living room. There was a brief knock at the door.

I breathed deeply, feeling my heart thudding heavily in my chest. This was it. The plunge. The final moments of my life.

I feel like I should be more dressed up for the occasion.

I opened the door, and he was standing there, much like he'd been several months ago. And I could feel my breath catch, my heart pound faster, as he stepped forward.

I had an urge to feel his skin on mine. I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to feel him moving inside of me.

His eyes met mine, and he grabbed for me, his hands at my hips pulling me against him. He lifted me against him, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our mouths collided, his teeth gnashing mine.

I was panting now, as my forehead rested against his. I plunged back in, his mouth just as greedy for my lips. It was a bruising kiss, and I barely registered that he had kicked the door shut, the slam rattling the windows.

We made it into the kitchen before he set me down. We started pulling at each other's clothes. My t-shirt landed somewhere, my shoes kicked off, my jeans shoved down. My hands were busy at his shirt, unbuttoning, spreading, untucking. I pulled at the button of his fly, unzipping, and shoving pants and boxers down his legs. Our mouths meeting, our tongues curling around each other.

He ripped at my panties, the fabric tearing, while I struggled with my bra.

"Oh God, I want you," I sobbed against his mouth.

"You are mine, you have been too far away from me."

His voice, his words, tightened a coil that had formed in my stomach, twisting painfully until I ached for him.

He lifted me onto the counter, and I spread my legs, waiting for him. His movements were swift, and I felt his cock nudge my opening before he thrust forward. He filled me so completely, and I cried out at the feelings surging within me.

He pulled out, and his fingers gripped my hips, "Look at me, Bella."

I opened my eyes and tried to shift my hips, needing him inside me, moving.

When my eyes found his crimson red ones, they were angry, but wounded as well, "Never again. Say it."

"Never again."

He pushed forward, filling me again, and I felt his teeth at my neck, his lips moving up to my ear, "Never again will you leave me."

He pulled back so I could see his eyes, and his voice spoke deathly quiet, fiercely, matching the movements of his hips as I felt him plunge in and out of me:

"Never. Again. Never. Again. Say it."

I repeated with him, it was a curse, a vow, and I lost it as I felt my muscles clench, my legs wrapping around him, my heels digging into his backside as I screamed my release. He found his own soon after, clutching my hips to him, burying himself deep inside me. I lay backwards over the counter, my legs limp, my body sweaty. Edward lay over me, his face resting against my breasts.

I closed my eyes, feeling sated, but felt his arms curl under my back and lifted me up. With the strength I had, I wrapped myself around him while he moved towards the stairs. He carried me up, faster than any human could move, and I felt myself deposited, naked, in my bed.

He watched me a moment, his jaw ticking before he joined me. But he did not touch me again, his dark eyes boring holes in me.

"You understand why I left, don't you?"

His eyes stared at me, unblinking, "You did not even give me a chance to speak. You assumed without allowing an explanation, which I admit that I owe you."

There was a pause while I waited for him to continue. Finally, he did, "Bella, you only see things through your human eyes, and how could you not? You will understand better if you are still interested in this life, if that's what it is. Carlisle attempted to enforce his way of life upon me, drinking from animals rather than humans. Every instinct you have will focus on drinking from humans."

His hand reached over, and drew a line down my neck, raising goose bumps over my skin, "I was taught by Caius, my mentor, that humans are cattle, they are there for the taking. We are the predators and you are the delectable prey.

"But you are different. I had to have you. And once I did, I could not have enough, I am addicted to you-"

I tried not to be angry again, "But how does that make me different from anyone else you've previously…had?"

"We have a word for what you are to me. We call it La Tua Cantante. It means that your blood sings for me, it calls to me in ways I have never felt before. Your smell, your taste, is unique to me alone. I am addicted to _you, _Bella, not just your blood. There are those among us who theorize that the anomaly of your blood to me makes you my mate. Your blood, your scent, slices into me," he closed his eyes, "creating a bottomless well of need so deep, everything screams for me to kill you."

Fear laced through my body at his words, I couldn't help the reaction, and I knew he could sense it.

"But I cannot. I cannot kill you. I spoke the truth when I told you that you owned just as much of me as I need to possess of you. I want you to be mine, forever, Bella."

His dark eyes opened, and stabbed through me, his words implanting themselves underneath my skin.

It was my move, my turn, and it was time to seal the decision out loud.

"I want to be yours forever, Edward. I want you to be mine."

His body slid over mine, dominant and male, but fitted to my softer curves as his mouth settled over mine, murmuring, "Yes, Bella."

I ran my hands up and over his muscle corded arms, his skin cool beneath my touch. I wanted to explore him, to touch every part of him.

His mouth sucked on my lower lip as I stroked the strong column of his neck. Our legs tangled, and his mouth lowered to kiss my throat. My fingers were in his soft hair, and he lightly nipped the spot over my pulse, sending shivers racing through my body. I arched against him, and the thigh he had between my legs. I rubbed myself on him, and I knew he could feel how wet I was.

His hands slid up my sides, and he sucked my earlobe into his mouth just as his thumbs skimmed over my nipples, already aching. I gasped as his fingers pinched them, just lightly. His kisses melted down my throat, until I felt his teeth at my collarbone.

His hands were cupping my breasts, kneading them as his dark head moved lower, his lips circling one of my nipples. He teased me with soft kisses before growling and capturing the peak in his mouth.

"Edward!"

His tongue swirled, his mouth drew deeply, and my mind whirled as I arched my back. His other hand continued to caress my other breast, and he suddenly lifted his mouth to take the other nipple into his mouth.

He growled again, the deep rumble from his chest, the purely feral sound vibrating against me, and I pressed myself up, needing to be closer to him. My thighs clenched around the leg wedged between mine, and I ground against the powerful muscle of his thigh.

His mouth was on the move again, down my belly, and he shifted on top of me, his legs, moving. I was on my back, and his head was between my spread thighs. He bit the delicate skin on the inside of my thigh lightly, not enough to draw blood, but enough to make me gasp.

His eyes met mine briefly and excitement jolted through me. He turned to the place between my legs, and I felt his tongue run along the seam, before he separated the folds and licked harder with his tongue, the pressure almost too much to the sensitive nerve endings.

My hands made fists in the bed sheet as he settled his mouth over me, sucking, his tongue flicking, moving, over my clit.

I think I may have cried out, it could have been his name, it could have been anything, as his mouth did wonderful things to me. I felt my legs start to shake as his tongue moved faster over me, and moaned as I felt two of his fingers slip inside me.

I road the crest of a wave, and his fingers and mouth brought me ever closer as my stomach clenched, and need spiraled faster and faster from my belly button down lower.

I was close, on the cusp, the sun so bright behind my eyelids, and my fists shaking in the expensive thread count when he stopped, and licked me one last time as his fingers withdrew.

I opened my eyes, and panted, about to ask him what happened when his body covered mine, his mouth closing over my throat, and he filled me, totally. Completely.

His hips moved, and I tried to pull him, push him deeper with my legs. His mouth touched my throat, he was growling again as he moved slowly in and out of me. The sound of our flesh meeting, my moaning, and rustle of sheets filled the air.

He moved faster then, changing the rhythm, but he ground into me, and it was like he flicked the switch on places in my body, making them light and glow, as I was on that cusp again. I could feel myself starting to pulsate, to shake with the vibration of it all. Before my thoughts slipped away from me, I clung to one, and voiced it out loud.

"Change me, Edward. Make me yours."

+IA+

EPOV

"Change me, Edward. Make me yours."

Against her throat I growled, "You have always been mine. You. Will. Always. Be. Mine."

And I bit her, truly sank my teeth into her as I felt her body shudder into orgasm, and allowed her taste into my mouth, and my venom to truly take hold into her bloodstream.

She screamed in release, and I pumped inside of her until I was lost.

I found my way back to her, and licked her wound clean. She was quiet under my ministrations, her legs quivering as I withdrew from her body. I bit her wrists, inserting more venom, and other places, until I was satisfied there was enough in her body to change her.

I stepped back from her, left her in the bed, and went down stairs to get my trousers. I came back upstairs and packed a change of clothes for her, things I found in her closet. Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I picked her up, and held her against my chest.

I did not wish to leave her here, it would be safer across the street, in my own home.

So we left her world behind, and every one of my quick footsteps brought her into mine.

* * *

**A/N**

**Two more chapters to go!**

**Thank you for reading. **

**Well then! IA is almost over. For those of you who are interested, I will be starting next fic in the coming weeks. **

**It's called 'All the Wild Horses' and will be angst AH AU. E&B. First three chapters are written and ready to go.**


	27. Chapter 26: The Morning of the Dragon

**A/N**

**Happy Halloween, dolls! **

**Special thanks to my rock and bestie, Lambie for betaing this, and holding my hand through these last couple of chapters.**

**And a huge thanks and a pack of super awesome Rob stickers to hillcrestella for pinch hitting and prereading on short notice while our snshyne has a wee rest while on holiday. **

**Apologies now if I screw up the Italian in this chapter. **

**Music for this chapter:**  
**Forty-Six and Two: Tool**  
**The Scent of Love: Michael Nyman**  
**Uprising: Muse**  
**Million Miles an Hour: Eastern Conference**  
**Knights of Cydonia: Muse**

* * *

_"On silent feet it came; breathing a sheet of flame, it came. Closing in on its rightful prey…" _

_The Morning of the Dragon, _Act 1, of_ Miss Saigon _lyrics by Alan Boublil and Richard Maltby, Jr..

It was as if a thousand razor blades were embedded in my skin, under my skin, in my veins, and arteries. My heart worked so hard to pump heavy sludge filled liquid through my veins. I was so hot, and cool fingers brushed against my arm. They pressed against my wrist, checking my pulse.

"It burns, Edward. It's burning me."

"It will not be long, Bella. Try not to fight it."

But I did, because my body was told to do so by the natural capabilities it had been born with.

Sometimes I was cold, chills racking my body, and the burning molasses in my veins seemed to not move fast enough to all of my limbs.

I briefly wondered if I was going through nicotine withdrawal as well. Because, fuck me, I wanted a cigarette.

When I was cold, Edward left me alone, and I could hear soft piano music sighing from downstairs. It would start out small, the notes singular, alone and then joined into a harmony, slowly climbing, until they were almost dizzying in their beauty.

The music soothed me, and I closed my eyes, trying to sleep the pain away. Sleep was elusive, however. Just when I thought I would finally drift away, a fresh wave of pain would bring me out of it, arching my back, bringing my body off of the bed I was on. My hands fisting in the sheets, and I don't know if I cried out, but it felt like my body was being turned inside out.

Sometimes in these moments, Edward would suddenly be at my side, slowly pushing me back down, his hands cold and gentle, his crimson eyes fierce.

My breaths were quick gasps, every ounce of air more fucking painful than the last, "I want to die."

He smiled slightly, "You are dying."

I swallowed, a weird burning sensation slowing itching its way into my throat, "…Too slow, Edward."

"You will be amazed how three days will seem a drop in the water in the infinite amount of time you will have, Bella."

The fire raged on, and I was in too much pain to tell him to fuck off.

At one point, it was so intense, I wanted to pull the room in on top of me. I felt the bed rattle beneath me, and the chair Edward had set up near the bed flew across the room, and crash against the wall.

I closed my eyes, convinced I was going delusional.

+IA+

EPOV

I could hear them coming, and looked up from the ivory and black in front of me, as a knock sounded softly on the door.

I stood, and moved to the door, opening it to them and moving back to allow them to enter.

Watching them as they filed in, eyes would meet mine, as they moved over the threshold. Their movements were wary, and their thoughts reflecting an unease.

It had been twenty two hours since I had given Bella my venom, and they could hear her heart beating faster and faster, driving towards the inevitable wrenching end.

Carlisle caught my eye and conveyed his question silently, _May I check on her, Edward?_

I had noticed certain oddities during her transformation that I wanted to discuss with him. I nodded, and Carlisle moved upstairs to where Bella lay dying while I showed Esme, Emmett and Rose into the living room.

Alice was still missing, and the longer her absence, the more Esme seemed to worry. I wondered vaguely if it had been the same when I left.

Once they were seated, I excused myself to join Carlisle.

His thoughts echoed his medical observations, and estimations.

_Pulse is erratic, temperature is above average._

He looked up as I entered, his eyes meeting mine, _Her body is fighting it, but that's normal. How has she been?_

"She's in pain. She's suffering." My voice was quiet in the heavy darkness of the room.

Carlisle's head shifted, and his eyes studied me, _And how does that make you feel?_

"When she suffers, so do I," I answered truthfully, every hurt of hers was my own.

_She is still silent, her mind is still locked against you?_

I nodded in affirmation and he turned his gaze back to Bella, _Fascinating. _

Pulling a small pen flashlight out of his trouser pocket, he looked to me, _May I…? _His thoughts showed me Carlisle looking at Bella's eyes.

Again I nodded, and pushed back the possessive growl as he touched her, pulling her eyelids up. The irises contracted, and a small feral snarl built in her chest. I held her down, in case she managed to break through the pain. Bella's usual cinnamon brown eyes were slowly turning a dark angry red. When her change was complete, her eyes would be even more startlingly red than mine.

Although she was still human, her own demon was taking root inside her, and she would lose the battle for her mortal soul, laying it at the feet of damned immortality.

Her scent had started to change, I had noted this after the first twenty four hours. The burn that usually sliced down my throat was beginning to dull, however, she still smelled just as delectable, but in a totally different sense. I wanted her, even now, when I knew she suffered, and I could tell when I was nearer, that she wanted me too. Her body responded to me even when she was nearly mindless with pain.

Her pink tongue darted over her lips, and Carlisle clicked off the flashlight, and stuffed it in his pocket.

"There is something else, I've noticed over the last few hours."

Carlisle looked up quickly as he waited for me to continue.

"I believe she may have some sort of ability. Objects have been moving of their own accord: a chair, the bed. At one point, I felt myself compelled forward to her."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow, _And you still cannot hear her? Read her mind?_

I shook my head. His expression was contemplative as he studied Bella with renewed interest, _Perhaps this is indicative of an ability. We will know better once she has completed the transformation._

Bella whimpered, and Carlisle looked at me again, _I will leave you two alone, and join the others downstairs. Let me know if you need me._

"I will," I confirmed, and listened to his retreating footsteps and quiet thoughts. They were full of joy for me, worry for Bella and what she was going through.

Bella's body tensed and she tossed onto her side on the bed, curling her body, holding her limbs.

"Edward…Edward…" she murmured.

"I'm here," I lay down beside her, pulling her against me. Her skin was feverishly warm, and she licked her lips.

"I can feel it, something is rising to the surface, like my skin is trying to turn itself inside out."

No sooner had she finished that than a loud agonized scream filled the room as Bella let the pain overtake her. I held her as her body attempted to thrash around, her human strength at war with her slowly developing vampire strength. I attempted to hold her to me, but she fought against me. If I was not careful, she could still break a still fragile human bone.

Eventually she faded into unconsciousness, and I left her for a moment, to enter into the conversation that was slowly building downstairs.

"…I only spoke with Marcus briefly. He was cryptic, but confirmed he has been summoned to Italy."

Emmett's voice answered as I moved into the room, "To Italy? Did he say why?"

Carlisle shook his head, "No. That was when he suggested we should make our way here, that Edward," he met my eyes as I stood in front of the fire, "Would need our support."

Rosalie pursed her lips, "Support for what?"

"I don't know."

Esme took Carlisle's hand, and caught my eye, "How is she, Edward?"

I didn't look away from the dancing flames, "In agony."

"It will be over soon," her voice was soft, trying to be reassuring.

I looked up from the fire, the heat lashing into me, "I hope so."

+IA+

EPOV

In the thirty sixth hour, the silence was broken for me by the whispering of thoughts that drew a furious growl from my throat.

_No doubt he can hear me now. _

Jane.

Her soft voice could be heard outside, as other minds crackled around her, "Edward will hear our approach, you will have one chance. As you have been instructed, and no more."

I attempted to read her further, but she refused to reveal her plan. They were all concentrating on something other than the task in front of them, locking me out of their intent.

Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett stood at the sound of Jane's voice, each assuming a defensive posture in the room and near the door. I raced upstairs to Bella, who had passed out again from the pain.

The front door opened, and there were the sounds of the scuffle. I had my pick of whose mind to watch from, it would appear there were six of them: Jane, Demetrius, a large guard named Felix, and several guards I had never met before. The visitors were dressed in human clothes, their usual dark Volturi robes strangely absent.

They were well matched, the fight shaking the house as stone cold bodies clashed, and tossed each other around.

With barely a whisper of noise, Jane and Demetrius were upstairs. They glided into the room, a look of blissful indifference on Jane's perfect face. Demetrius stood behind her, and before I could obtain from their minds why they were here, Jane pierced me with a single look. Again there was a consuming, blinding pain, that arched my body like a bow.

I kept from screaming, the pain almost maddening. Finally, I had to asked her.

"What do you want?" I said through my teeth.

"Her."

Demetrius picked Bella up, she softly sighed in his arms, and he flung her over his shoulder.

"I will see you in Italy, mi amor."

Jane nodded, her eye contact with me steady.

"Aro is very interested in your little pet-"

My rage filled roar interrupted her, and she blinked for an instant, disrupting the pain. I collapsed, but before I could get up, Jane had me in its grips again, and it felt like I was being slowly consumed by a fire of agony. It was almost like going through the change again, the pain consuming and lacerating against every nerve.

The sounds of the scuffle downstairs continued, grunts and angry growls between the grinding noise of limbs being torn from bodies. It could have been hours, or seconds that Jane held me there, but finally she stopped, and I again collapsed to the ground.

"See you soon, Edward."

And she left, there was the rumble of a car engine from far off, and they were gone.

I got up, my thoughts solely focused on Bella. The house was eerily silent, not a voice or thought filled the air. There was the acrid smell of smoke, and horror twisted my insides as I wondered at what was downstairs.

Racing down, all that was left in the fireplace was the slow burning ashes of a vampire, but who I did not know. Could they have been taken to Italy, or were they now consumed and billowing into the morning air?

Time was not a commodity I had to waste pondering the fate of Carlisle and the rest of my…family.

My thoughts focused on Bella, and I let the demon inside me take over, allowing the beast his head. I could feel the gravitational pull shift, as she was taken farther and farther away from me. My insides pulled at me, and I snarled at the thought of her final changes without me there.

I went into the upstairs study, grabbing my passport, an emergency fold of American dollars and a roll of Euros. Racing back downstairs, I was in the car and roaring down the street towards the airport.

+IA+

BPOV

It felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest, and I grabbed onto what was nearest me, hearing it snap off in my hand. A fucking horrible vertigo feeling raced through me, making dizzy. It was like the gravity holding me to the earth was subtly shifting, and it felt wrong somehow.

Another excruciating slice of pain laid me open, and I screamed. This time, it wasn't Edward who put their hands on me. I bucked, I kicked, I tried to fling them off me.

I succeeded, at least it seemed like it. At one point they were there, and the next moment they weren't.

A deep accented voice whipped across the room, "Did you see that? She threw me across the room without touching me!"

A small angelic voice followed, but it sounded bored and indifferent, "We saw, Felix. Try to keep her subdued."

More pain, more nightmarish agony, and no Edward.

Maybe I had made it to Hell.

+IA+

EPOV

Booking a flight was easy, I was lucky to obtain a seat on the first flight out of Seattle across country. The Volturi consort was already a couple of hours ahead of me, no doubt in their private plane. I sat drumming my fingers on the arm rest of my seat. My eyes were hidden beneath tinted glasses, but I shut them anyways, feigning sleep.

I had to be calm, I had to tuck the beast back into his cage during my time in the air, or else I would have slaughtered the plane, pilots included.

And this would not be conducive to arriving in Italy as soon as possible.

I booked and connected my next flight, and the hours trickled by until I finally touched down in Florence, Italy.

Walking out of the airport to pouring rain, I quickly found the parking garage. It was quiet, there weren't many people about as I scanned the parked cars quickly, and found one I was looking for. The owner was just exiting the car, and I raced over to him.

Bumping into him, he shouted expletives in Italian while I quickly picked his pocket for his keys. When he tried to get in my face, I smiled viciously at him, and lifted my glasses until he saw my eyes.

"Run," I said in Italian.

He turned away from me, and ran towards the exit.

"Faster," I growled when he looked over his shoulder.

Traveling at speeds that were illegal in most countries, I made my way through the Italian countryside, leaving the rain that hovered over the city to fresh dewy countryside.

I checked the time, Bella's transformation would be nearly complete by now.

_If she was still alive. _

I growled at the thought, and pressed the powerful car forward.

By the time I reached the old medieval city, the sun had set. I parked the car in a quiet alleyway, shutting the door softly. I knew it would only be minutes before my arrival would be detected, and I quickly found an entrance into the sewers.

Water dripped in the darkness, and rats scurried in the old dank tunnels. My eyes could see perfectly in the inky black, and I moved quickly until I reached the hidden underground entrance. I pressed a brick, and a door slowly opened, granting me entrance inside. As I stepped forward, it closed ominously behind me.

A dark, stony hallway led into an anteroom that was covered in smooth marble and lit by electric lighting. Generic potted plants sat in corners, while a small brown leather sofa and coffee table sat closer to the far wall.

I always wondered if the Volturi knew their waiting area resembled a bank. It was all an eerie clinical façade. And only a Vampire could smell the residue of blood and venom in the air.

A cloaked figure came forward, and by the sound of his thoughts, I vaguely remembered him as a member of the guard.

"Greetings, Edward. We've been expecting you."

I snarled at him, pleasantries not required, "Where is Bella?"

His mouth lifted in a cruel sneer, "This way."

He turned, in expectation that I follow him. He led me down a hallway, and through a door that led into a cool marble corridor. It was lit by single torches along the walls, the dancing flames casting shadows on the shiny floor and walls.

There were voices and other minds getting louder, and finally the tunnel opened up to a large marbled rotunda.

It lined with large stark white marble columns, the only color was the dark eerie robes and glowing red eyes of the guards. I knew exactly where I was without being told: they had brought me into the Judgment Chamber.

On a platform were three throne like chairs, and in them sat Aro in the middle, and Caius and Marcus respectively on his left and right. Their thoughts were silent and guarded.

Aro addressed me first, "Welcome, Edward. How nice of you to pay us a visit."

My voice was a low snarl, "You know very well this is not a social call. You have taken something from me, and I've come to get it back."

Aro feigned innocence, but his mind showed me a picture of Bella asleep, unharmed.

"Edward, we do not take," he said, with feigned indignation, "We never take. Surely you're not implying that we have stolen from you?"

"Enough of this petty shit, Aro. Let's not play games. Where. Is. She?"

Aro frowned, all traces of saccharine courtesy wiped from his face, "It is very unfortunate you do not wish to play our game, Edward. I would rather you had a longer stay."

A flash went through my mind, of Bella screaming, and the sounds of a vampire being torn apart. But these were not Aro's thoughts. They were a different tone, and a scent of something familiar hit me.

Alice.

She stepped out from Aro's chair, a sinister grin on her face, her eyes glinting a bright vibrant red.

She smiled at me, but spoke to Aro, "Can I tell him?"

He took her hand, his ability to know every thought in a single touch evident as he took in her vision.

"Yes, pet. But try not to make a mess."

Her mind showed me before her words reached me across the room.

"Edward, you found yourself a singer. Your singer, and your mate." Her voice was sing song quiet, as she moved forward. She gracefully stepped down from the dais onto the marbled floor, now on the same level as me.

"She is beautiful, Edward. Exquisite. And you may have guessed when she passed into immortality, she brought an ability with her. Her mind is powerful, locking you and some of us out. But not all of us. I can see her, because her mind cannot control my own. Jasper could control her because emotions are nothing more than chemical reactions to stimulus.

"But you cannot hear her, Jane cannot burn her, and Aro cannot see her thoughts. She is locked, defensively. Her mind is a powerful thing, a weapon that can and will be controlled. With the right guidance, of course."

I growled at Alice and lunged for her but she danced out of the way, "Tut, tut, Edward. Before you try to kill me, don't you want to know what she is?"

I tried to drag it out of her mind, but she refused to give it to me, she circled around other images, ones of her and Jasper. Alice's eyes burned as she fed me the painful images of her and her mate. Her and my brother.

Then she showed me another vision.

This time I saw Bella, only in her vampire form. She was breathtaking, with dark brown hair that rolled down her back in silky waves. Her eyes were a vibrant red, and they shimmered with concentration.

She was in the Judgment Room, and it seemed to vibrate around her. She hissed, and something flew through the air above her.

It was a marble column.

It made a huge sound as it crashed against a wall. Volturi guards swarmed around her, and she braced a hand to protect herself, and without physically touching them, they were swept back with powerful force to a far wall. Their bodies cracked against the marble like a child's toys being tossed.

Stunned, I looked at Alice, "What is she?"

Alice's crimson eyes glowed, "She is a powerful telekinetic and telepath."

Pieces of the puzzle started falling together, the reason why she was brought here, and why I was not. I had not broken any laws, and if I had, I would be absolved the moment enough venom hit Bella's system.

I looked at Aro, my eyes narrowing, "You bastard. You cannot just use her."

Aro folded his fingers casually under his chin, "She will make an excellent addition to our household."

"We will not serve you."

Aro angled his head, "My dear boy, I do not believe you were asked. However, if you wish for the invitation to be extended-"

"I said no."

Aro smiled sweetly at me, his thoughts cruel as he imagined me torn limb from limb, "Very well then, let us be done with this."

He stood, and Marcus and Caius followed suit. Caius refused to look at me, his tolerance in respect of mates and singers making his lip curl. His incubus lifestyle suited his belief about the world around him.

But the pull I have towards Bella shook me to my very core.

Marcus met my eye, as he turned to follow Aro towards the exit behind them. He shook his head at me.

_I have tried, Edward. But Aro is afraid of her, and if she is in your hands, he is afraid of the power she will give you._

Aro waved towards Alice, "Do with him what you will, just make sure you have finished before she is awake."

Alice's mind flashed again, showing me another vision, of Bella being told that Alice had killed Edward. In her newborn rage, Bella attacks Alice.

Alice's vision ends there, but her thoughts confirm that she knows it's suicide to enrage a newborn vampire. They are faster, stronger, hungrier, and much more vicious and less rational.

Those feral red eyes of Alice's met mine again, the beast growled in my chest and she grinned at me.

"I want you to suffer like he suffered. Like I've suffered."

"Before you start, where are the rest of them? Where is Emmett and the rest?"

"Here. Locked away. They don't have to die. But you will."

I crouched low, waiting for her attack. But just as I did, a wisp of a scent floated through the air. Distracted, I took off, following only on instinct, but trying to catch her scent in the air again.

Alice followed me, her hand on my shoulder, but I pulled her over me, flipping her in the air and tossing her.

She bounced off the wall, impacting light as a tumbler, before springing at me again, hissing. She landed on my back, biting at my neck. Her sharp teeth penetrated my skin, her venom stinging. I took hold of her head, pulling, trying to tear it from her body. I could hear the familiar crackling sound of nearly indestructible skin and bone starting to separate. She screamed, and threw her weight forward, landing both of us on the floor.

Bella's scent hit my nostrils again, and I ran in the direction it came from, hoping it was the right way. I found a dark passage way, lit by flaming torches, but my eyes didn't need the light to see. I could smell Bella, and I followed the trail of her scent, deeper down the angling corridor. Alice was gaining on me again, and I heard her footsteps echo off the walls. Her thoughts devising her next attack, and this time I flattened myself against the wall as she dove for me. She flew through the air where I was, landing on the floor. I kicked her, smashing my foot into her stomach, and the sound was like concrete being knocked together.

Finally the corridor finished, and there, in the room, in a small cot, lay Bella. I could hear her heart beating faster and faster now, as if any moment it would give out. Those last few beats were unlike any music I had ever heard in my life, and I suddenly wished that I could hear that perfect sound forever.

I paused, listening, and finally it stopped, and the world was suddenly too quiet for me.

"Bella?"

I reached out to touch her perfect, pale skin, which was like mine now, but did not get the chance.

Alice leaped for me, and wrapped herself around me so I couldn't fling her off.

She placed venomous bites where she could, the sting stabbing into me like a white hot poker.

She snarled and snapped at me as I tried to wrench any limb I could get my hands on from her body. There was a bending twisting sound of metal and stone, and I pulled her lower leg from her knee and threw it towards the wall.

Alice screamed in agony, and a small sigh came from Bella on the bed. I turned towards her, hoping to see her eyes open, but there was nothing.

Alice caught me off guard again, and went for my neck, trying to bite her way through. Her grip was not as tight, and this time, I was able to fling her into a corner.

I threw her limb into the darkened corridor as she rose from the corner I had thrown her to. She hissed at me, and rather than launching another attack, she went for Bella.

As she was closer, I wasn't able to stop her. She lifted Bella from the cot, and held her to her. Bella fell limply like a doll. Alice angled Bella's head, exposing her vulnerable neck. Although vampire, Alice could easily decapitate her.

"If I cannot kill you, I will kill her instead."

"Aro will not be pleased," I tried.

"I'm going to die anyways."

Alice had nothing left to lose, and she held Bella to her as a shield. Slowly she hopped towards the corridor, her teeth at Bella's throat, her hands ready to rip her head off at any given moment.

At one point she started to lose her balance, her one legged progression not an easy one. I saw my chance, and grabbed for Bella.

Alice screamed her denial at me, as I pulled Bella safely into my arms, and watched as Alice threw herself down the hallway in search of her missing limb.

I should have gone after her. I should finish her off.

But Bella had opened her eyes, and her ruby irises were looking into mine.

"Edward?" Her husky voice now even more sultry. Her lovely eyes widened as her hand flew too fast for a human to her throat.

As much as I wanted a reunion, to check her over, to learn the new facets of her being, I was aware that we were not in a safe place.

I took her face in my hands, running my thumbs over the cool perfection of her cheekbones. She closed her eyes, and leaned into me.

"Bella. I need to get you out of here. We need to leave, now."

Her perfect brows furrowed, "Why?" she whispered, her eyes still closed.

"Because they are going to kill me and hold you prisoner." She opened her eyes abruptly, wide eyed as she studied mine, and then they narrowed to slits. I watched the glittering ruby burst into flame, and the room rattled around us.

"Who is 'they' and no one is killing you," she snarled.

"The more time I use to explain, the less time we have to make our escape. Come with me, we need to leave now."

I could hear Alice scampering up the hallway, and she was going to Aro to sound the alarm that Bella was awake, and that she had failed.

"Edward?"

I turned back to her, "They are the Volturi. We are in Italy. They kidnapped you, and brought you here. They're afraid of you and what you have the potential to do."

The room was shaking now, and I guided her out and back down the corridor.

"What do I have the potential to do?" she asked as we moved back into the large domed Judgment Room.

I turned back to her, just as Aro followed by Marcus and Caius made their way into the chamber again.

"Shake them to their foundations."

* * *

**A/N**

**Can't believe one more to go. I'm kinda freaking out over it. **

**For those of you who are Rain Season readers, there is ANOTHER out take that has not been posted which is available exclusive with Fandom for Preemies. $5 bucks gets you the compilation and goes towards The March of Dimes. Link on my profile for more info. **

**And I've started a new AUAH story called All the Wild Horses.**


	28. Chapter 27: Romeo and Juliet

**A/N Steph Meyer owns all the Twilight stuff, and one has to wonder if she cringes over the ending to Breaking Dawn the way we do.**

**This is it, the finale. There will be no encore or epilogue. There will be no out takes, there will be nothing other than what has been already posted for this story.**

**All thank you's at the bottom.**

**Music:  
****Machine Gun: Portishead  
****Tornado: Jonsi  
****Lux Aeterna: Clint Mansell (theme from Requiem for a Dream)**

* * *

"_These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume."_

Act II, Scene VI, _Romeo and Juliet_ by William Shakespeare

BPOV

I watched as three men ascended a small dais in the opposite hallway, near where Edward and I had entered. There was something slightly familiar about one of them, but I couldn't quite place him.

My mind was misty, unable to focus on anything prior to waking up here. I knew who I was, I knew Edward, remembered his scent. Everything was clearer, every small noise amplified and highly defined. There were colors, there was an infinite way that I saw the world around me now, and it was overwhelming.

My body was mine but it wasn't. It had urges, something flowing under the surface that wanted me to give into it. It wanted things I wasn't sure I had a name for, it was primal and animalistic. My tongue ran along the edge of my teeth, and I noticed they were sharper, not pointed, but sharper.

Edward's hand was in mine, and I noticed that his touch didn't seem as cold. It felt warm, almost. I wanted that hand, I wanted him. And before I knew it, I turned to him, I thought the movement was slow, but it wasn't. The room flickered and I was facing him, my tongue running over my lip. I could see his red eyes, and looking closer, there was a set of red eyes reflected back at me.

They were my eyes.

I hissed, and tried to take a step back, but he held me from moving.

"Don't be scared, Bella. I know it's all new. Try not to let your demon have its head quite yet."

Is that what was inside me, something inherently evil now? I wasn't sure I wanted it. It was like having something invade my personal space that, on one hand, made my skin crawl. Then on the other, made me weak in the knees.

_Give in to me. _

There was talking going on around me, but all I could hear was that whisper, tempting and seductive, and dark.

_Give in. _

To distract myself, I turned back to the three men, now seated in gilded thrones. I realized they were like me, they were vampires, their red eyes were fixed on me. I instinctively took a step back and bumped into Edward. His hands settled on me, and they focused me, like a lens finding purchase.

The one who looked familiar was looking at me, as if he were waiting for some sort of reaction. I sifted through memories that were fuzzy, like old dusty clipped movies, with pieces missing. I saw his face, and my mind associated smells of tobacco, sawdust, and paint. My old life was fuzzy and dark, and I saw it in my mind as if it were someone else's.

_Marcus._

"Edward," I hissed, "Edward, is that Marcus?"

"Yes."

Suddenly, the one vampire who sat in the middle spoke directly to me, and his voice was distracting. It was smooth and luscious, but his tone was condescending.

"Bella Swan, my dear. Come closer, let us have a look at this formidable slip of a woman who would bring us to our knees. Come closer, I won't bite you." He smiled a sickly sweet smile at me, and his eyes, to me, weren't genuine.

Suddenly, a voice, a thought, that was not mine voiced itself in my mind, in his voice.

_This business will soon be over, she will be ours, and I will have that Edward ripped limb from limb._

A snarl burst from my chest and throat, and I bared my teeth.

That voice from before, from inside me whispered, _Give in to me, let me out, let me have them. _

Hate raged through me, and the small amount of will I had started to slip, like fingers hanging onto a ledge. I almost let go, when I heard Edward's voice low in my ear, trickling over my skin, warming me. I expected a pulse, a throb, in places that normally came to life whenever he was this close. Instead, the hateful focus of that feral voice turned to him.

And rather than hate, it wanted him, wanted him inside me, wanted to tear at my clothes and his.

"Calm, Bella. You need to remain calm if we are to make it out of here intact."

"I want you," I said lowly. _Was that my voice, or the demon? I didn't know._

His breath caressed the skin of my neck, and I felt his lips graze me. I moaned lowly.

"Not now, Bella. Later."

Oh yeah. I totally forgot where we were.

His hand slowly crept over my hip, and my body shuddered. I pressed back against him, I could smell him in a purely feral way, I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him right then. Lust, pure and heavy, flowed through me.

The vampire in the middle spoke again, "My goodness, young love is so beautiful, is it not? They remind me of those two young lovers we had for lunch yesterday. They were so…enamored, even while being devoured."

I turned to him, appalled, "You're sick."

He raised an eyebrow at me, and his smile was cold, "Sick? I've forgotten the meaning of the word. It is our nature to enjoy all the pleasures of human flesh," he paused to lick his teeth, and the movement made my lip curl in disgust, "All of them, my sweet. Now come closer before I make you." The last of his words turned from icky sweet to a command.

"Fuck you."

The last of the sugar melted from his face, and his eyes seemed almost lethal, "Jane?" He called, to a small vampire with blonde hair and wide rubied eyes that glittered with blank obedience. She was like a living doll, her face almost too beautiful to have ever been human.

"Master," she answered.

"Show Miss Swan why it is important to respect her elders."

A small insipid smile slithered across Jane's perfect face, "Of course."

Jane's eyes fixed on me, her stare intent. I felt Edward tense behind me, and I braced myself for some sort of attack. It didn't come though, and after several seconds passed, Jane shifted her gaze to Edward. Whatever breath was in his throat choked, and I turned around to see him vibrating in what looked like intense agony.

I growled ferociously, looking around to see where it had come from.

"Stop it! Stop, you're hurting him!"

Jane merely cocked her head, that little smile on her small mouth twitching.

The vampire whom Jane called Master spoke to me, "Come closer, or she will make it worse. Now. Walk forward and obey."

I looked to Edward, to Jane, and to the Master. Jane was hurting Edward, somehow she was doing it, like she was shooting something from her eyes at him that was somehow unseen. I wanted to hurt her, to push her back.

No. I wanted to kill her. Punch her. Bite her. Tear her head from her body.

_Do it. Kill her. Kill. _

This time, I couldn't resist.

But before I could do anything more than put my hand up, as if to shield her gaze from Edward, Jane's body flew back from where it stood. She crashed into the marble pillar behind her, and her limbs flailed like a rag doll. I stared in astonishment at my hand, braced in front of me, of us, and Jane's crumpled form on the cold floor.

There was clapping behind us, "Impressive, young one. Impressive."

There was a noise behind me, and I turned to Edward, who was on the floor, his face slowly returning to normal. My hair fell forward, shielding us from the rest of the room.

"Are you ok?"

Edward nodded, and lithely got to his feet as I sat back from him. He put his hand out, and I took it. When our skin touched, I felt little electrical charges, they fluttered from his fingers to mine. I briefly wondered if he felt it too. It was so much more now, every time we touched.

Edward led me towards where the vampires sat on the dais.

"The one on our right is Caius. He is the one Carlisle spoke of, if you can recall any of that conversation."

I searched hard through my older memories that were part of a life I wasn't sure I had ever really lived. Not when this one was so vivid, so real, so clear.

Finally, I found what I was looking for, a voice, a face. A vampire face, with a paternal nature.

_You made the decision to choose Caius' way of survival. I have never condemned you for the choices you made…_

And Edward answering_, "Caius' way makes more sense. It goes more with our nature…" _

The memory changed, distorted to a confrontation I had forgotten about between Edward and me:

"…_Caius found me. He is a member of the governing clan of Vampires. They rule our world. Caius has a very…different way of looking at things…can drink from his victims without turning them, without killing them. He prefers…intercourse with his victims when he feeds."_

I blinked at Caius, who regarded me with a haughty stare. He was handsome with his blonde hair and pointed face. His red eyes flashed with something that was almost too seedy, and I shied away from it.

Edward was already explaining the vampire who sat in the middle, "His name is Aro. He, like the other two, are close to three thousand years old. While the three of them have an equal standing, Aro is the natural leader of the others, and all those who reside here as part of their coven."

Aro's face seemed full of self importance, and there was a cruel edge to his eyes, and the set of his mouth. His long dark hair was neatly pulled back, and he looked like something out of a horror film.

My eyes fell upon Marcus then, and Edward only muttered, "And you know Marcus, of course."

My rugged silent stage hand, with whom I had shared countless quiet cigarette breaks. I had always been able to depend on him, and his eyes, those eyes that I should know so well, they implored me. It was like he was asking me not to see him as a stranger. Now that I knew him for what he was, I recognized the dark hunger in his gaze, and wondered how he was able to exist in that world.

We neared the edge, and Aro looked down at us, as he studied me. The red of his irises quickly moved over my face, my body, as if he were memorizing every small minute inch of me.

He stood, a swift graceful movement, and moved towards me. I reached for Edward's hand, and folded my fingers with his.

"He only wishes to touch you, Bella. His ability is to know every thought you have, from one single touch. However, your defenses will lock him out. "

_My defenses?_

If I had a heart that was alive, it would be in my throat as he loomed closer to me. His tapered fingers reached out to touch me, and I tried not to flinch as those fingers brushed my cheek.

Disappointment flooded his unblinking crimson eyes, and I heard Edward snicker behind me. There was movement to my left, and I noted Jane had recovered herself from where she had been flung. I picked up more movement, and more scent. I could feel my hackles raising, and Edward confirmed the danger that prickled up the back of my neck when I felt him tense as well.

To our left, was a large vampire, his frame and size stirring an older memory in me, of another vampire, picking up my human self in a large hug.

_"Don't let him fuck you around."_

Another vampire moved forward, his movements graceful. He had eyes for Jane, and he moved to her side. His eyes flickered to me, and he gave me a cold angry glare.

I looked around, and realized there were about a dozen in the room behind us, and when I looked back to where the three ruling vampires sat, another half dozen vampires stood behind them.

We were severely out numbered.

My head was starting to hurt, I felt all this intense pressure building up inside me. The room trembled slightly, and I wondered if I felt shaky or if it really was moving. A piece of ceiling cracked and fell, startling me.

Aro spoke, "Edward, control your mate before she brings the place down around us."

Edward squeezed my hand, and spoke softly in my ear. I could feel myself melting back against him as the words caressed me, "Softly, Bella. Focus on something else."

I focused on him, and I trawled the dredge of my memories, and saw his hands on me, remembered the sensation of his body meeting mine.

When I looked up, Aro was seated once again.

"You will wait outside while we deliberate on what is to be done with you and your mate, Cullen."

Edward's hand was at my back, and he guided me towards a hallway lit by torches. I could feel eyes at our backs, and he quickly led me through into what appeared to be a waiting area.

+IA+

EPOV

They left us alone, although I could hear them quite clearly, their minds loud enough for me to get enough perspective on their deliberation.

But Bella was a distraction that I could not ignore.

She clung to me, unsure of herself, and her new awareness of what was around her.

We stood, and once again I realized just how much of a change she'd gone through. When my fingers brushed her smooth cheek, the warmth of her human skin no longer burned below the surface. The small scar that had always appeared as a permanently etched tear track was now gone. She was exquisitely frozen, her immortal flesh somehow even more enticing. Her eyes closed during my scrutiny, the long lashes softly touching her cheek.

Her hair was no longer the black of a raven's wing, but a softer dark glistening brown that caught the light. I noticed earlier that the inked bird on her neck had disappeared, lost with the change. Her lips were a perfect blushing rose, her breasts her hips, while still the same perfect symmetry were now of the same indestructible flesh as mine.

I wanted to explore every new inch of her, taste every piece of her, run my hands over every part of her, until she begged for more. Until she arched and writhed, responding to me. I felt a need to renew the dominance of our relationship, her newborn strength something new to conquer, to have, to explore. Of their own volition, my hands started at her back, running under the clothes she had been dressed in when she had been taken from me: a thin black tank and black pants of the same material. It was flimsy, and would tear easily. If we were in another place, at another time, I would have no qualms about removing them from her body.

Bella's hands, which were on my arms, moved up to my neck. Meanwhile, in the Judgment Room, our fate was being decided. Because of the thickness of the walls, the sound was muffled, but I could hear their thoughts plainly as if they were standing in the room with me. I watched from the minds of those present in the room.

_They have not broken any laws, Aro_, Marcus said.

_Are you suggesting we allow them to leave? _He retorted.

_What would you have us do? Execute them without reason? You will exercise your power out of fear for your position?_

My eyes glanced back to Bella's, and I felt my entire existence pause. There was a hooded look to her eyes that added to the tension that gripped us. Her need matched my own, and it tightened around us, as her lips met mine. The beast grinned wickedly, knowing we no longer had to be careful.

And all of the dammed up instincts that I constantly held at bay flooded over and out. I pulled her closer to me, her body pressing against mine. I could be rough, and she enjoyed it, grinning wickedly at me before biting my lip. Venom surged in my mouth, and I growled at her as our lips met.

_You have not seen what I have seen. What _she_ has seen, _Aro hissed_. _

_You were quite happy to allow her visions to influence your decisions. She told you young Edward would be dead by now, and that Bella would be pliable to control. Obviously, she was not successful. How can you put any trust in what she says now?_

Bella's mouth continued to move with mine, her taste now changed from the human I wanted to constantly devour, to the mate I could not ever have enough of. I fisted my hands in the material at her back, and could hear the material starting to tear, the sound of the threads snapping was stark in silence.

_You have seen what she can do. You have felt it. How can we let her leave this place?, _Aro answered. He turned to Caius, _You are oddly silent, brother. _

Bella's lips broke from mine, she kissed my jaw, and I felt her sharper teeth bite into my neck, the pleasure mixing with the slight pain of her venomous kiss. I could feel myself growing harder, and if we continued this way, I would not be able to stop.

_You know how I feel about the idea of mates and _la tua cantante_. I refuse to acknowledge either really exist for our species. We are beings of instinct alone: killing, fucking, it is all the same. _

The fabric tore from her, and my hands moved over her skin, immortally frozen in perfection. My fingers moved from her spine, to her side. I could feel her nipples harden in response to my touch, and I cupped one of her breasts, squeezing as our mouths joined again. My tongue pressing and moving against hers as she ground herself against me, her hips moving. Her nails scratched at the fabric of my shirt, and I knew that mine would suffer the same fate as hers.

_And so, brother? Your opinion?_

_Kill them both. She cannot be trusted with her abilities, and if we kill her, he will inevitably strike back. We must strike quickly._

Marcus was horrified, _This is madness! I refuse to be a part of this, or subject to what you are suggesting. _

I broke away from Bella, staring into her eyes, the black of her pupils nearly eclipsing the burgundy of her irises. She tried to move forward to kiss me, but I moved back from her.

"What is it?"

"Bella, we must stop," I put my hand on her cheek, and she tried to bite me.

"But I want you."

_And the rest of the Cullens?, _Aro asked, ignoring Marcus completely.

_They are harmless, allow them to go in peace. _

"We must try to leave this place. We have to escape."

She looked up into my eyes, and understanding mingled with the desire.

"Are they going to kill us?"

"At this point, that is their intent. It is two to one decided."

I started to take off my shirt, and her eyes widened, "What are you doing?"

I smiled down at her, "Lovely as you are, Bella. I do not think it would be wise for you to bare all to the world."

She looked down at her nude torso, and I knew at that moment, if she had been able to, a blush would have flushed those cheeks. Handing her the shirt, she quickly put it on, her fingers working over the buttons. Brushing her hair back over her shoulder, I groaned.

"What?"

"I think you look better in that than I do."

She pursed her lips at me, "I'm trying very hard not to jump you and have my wicked vampire way with you. Stop telling me I look sexy."

I smiled at her for a moment, and grabbed her arm to lead her, "Let's go."

There was a stair access, so the elevator wasn't entirely necessary. We would be faster running than the mechanical lift.

I found the door, and the stairs a stone medieval part of the building that was carefully maintained. We made our way down them swiftly, but I could tell they were already in pursuit of us. I shut the door, and attempted to break the stone, so they would have to dig their way through, rather than simply push. The sound was loud, and Bella got the gist of what I was trying to do, and helped breakdown the brick.

Once it was sealed, we continued farther, darkness enveloped us, but it didn't matter. I easily found our way to the sewers.

Footsteps could be heard, and there was a hiss of frustration. I smiled to myself as I could hear hands trying to make quick work of the brick and mortar.

"That won't hold them off for long. We must move faster." Bella and I were already running, and I attempted to pick up the pace. I was fast, had always been the fastest when I had been part of Carlisle's coven, and I could feel Bella trying to keep up.

_You won't get past me, Edward. You will die here, in the darkness._

"Alice!" I hissed.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Alice. She's here. She must have known and somehow went around to cut us off."

Alice was busy trying to keep me out of her mind now, she was thinking about Jasper, fueling her need for revenge further. We rounded a corner, and burst upon her, building a smoldering fire.

"I will feed you into these flames and roll in your ashes, Edward." Alice crouched low, her form poised and ready to kill. She growled angrily at me and Bella growled back, from behind me.

She made a loud hoarse cry, and launched herself at me. I let go of Bella as Alice and I tumbled together. A blur of movement, both of us trying to kill the other. Between her thoughts telling me what she would do, and her predictions to my reactions, it was a grueling fight, constantly block and circling each other.

Footsteps echoed down the dank corridor of the sewer, and I knew the Volturi had caught up with us.

"You have your orders," Jane's smooth cold voice echoed off of the walls, "eliminate them. And the psychic."

Alice was momentarily distracted by this edict, and I saw my chance. I dove and landed on her, pinning her with my body. She thrashed and kicked underneath me, but I was stronger. I grabbed for her neck, and I whispered in her ear.

"It didn't have to be this way, sister. I am sorry."

"Kill me, please," her agonized whisper filled my ears, as I ripped her head from her body. I threw it towards the fire, just as Bella screamed.

Turning, I saw that Felix, one of the larger of the guard, had taken Bella by surprise.

"Hold her! She's trying to push against me!" The ground rumbled beneath my feet, and I could feel Bella trying to grapple with her ability.

Other rushed forward, and I started running towards them. It was a short distance for me, but shorter for them.

They grabbed at her arms, and for a brief moment, her eyes met mine, and the look we shared sliced through me.

"No, Bella, no! Fight!"

The walls trembled around us as they pulled at her, and that wrenching, twisting sound of immortal flesh being pulled apart scraped across the walls.

The walls shook, pieces of rock falling around us now, and I could hear the foundations cracking.

I tackled Felix, and Bella was between us. Thick ash from the fire billowed through the sewer as Alice's remains were consumed. We rolled, and other strong hands pulled at us. I fought, ripping at Felix, and I saw Bella struggle with trying to maintain control. The others grabbed her, and she snarled, as the violent shudders around us intensified.

I wanted to help her, but Felix was much stronger than I, and I wrestled with him, trying to maintain the upper hand.

But there is a reason why Felix is in the Volturi guard. And as I felt myself slipping, as I could feel my flesh being torn apart, my eyes searched for Bella, for a final glimpse of her. Her eyes met mine, and I wondered if heaven would exist for me, or if she was the only ethereal peace I would ever find…

+IA+

"A terrifying fire has been contained in the ancient city of Volterra this evening,. Officials are blaming a gas rupture in some of the old pipes that run beneath the city. While no one has been seriously injured, a collapse from the force of the blast has occurred in one of the cities most oldest quarters, underneath the Piazza dei Priori."

_A glooming peace this morning with it brings;  
__The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head.  
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;  
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:  
For never was a story of more woe,  
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

Act V, Scene III_, Romeo and Juliet _by William Shakespeare.

* * *

A/N

**Oops. More character death btw. **

**There were a lot of warnings throughout this fic for how it was going to go. If you're unsure, go back and look at the quote for Chapter 1.**

Thank yous:

To **lambie**, that fateful night last November when I shared an idea, which was a half written prologue and a Jace Everet song. You inspire me beyond words that I have to describe.

To **Snshyne** for her time, her comments, her skills, and her friendship. Love you, doll. It is beyond epic working with you.

To **shoewhoreninja**, who was one of the first few people I ever whispered this idea to.

To **JaG** for helping me off the floor, and the rest of the **RAoR h00rs** who really gave this story a chance.

To **tby789** who tweeted her rec for this story, and gracefully accepted my awkward fan girl tweets.

To **KStew411**, if you're still reading this, I miss your snark in the fandom, doll.

To **Nitareality** for hosting the readalong for this story…was that really so long ago?

And **Nita **and **IrishTwiSisters** for writing beautiful words about my mediocrity over at The Deviants of the Dark.

A massive thank you to** Biel** and **MyRobAddiction** for the AMAZING videos they created for this fic. I've watched them multiple times in order to stave off writer's block…and every time I'm even more entranced. Thank you!

To **Roselover24** for interviewing me and reviewing IA for her blog, So You Think You Can Write.

And her partner in crime, **Crypthing**, for being such a staunch supporter, and an all around awesome guy.

To **Bleriana** for lovingly reviewing the demon over at The Cold Shower.

To my lockerbestie, **hillcrestella**, for just getting me. Just getting it, and understanding on so many levels what I was trying to do with this story. Save you a seat at lunch, mom packed me an extra pudding to share.

To **Clio1792** for sharing your thoughts, your ideas, and yourself.

To the gals who hung out with me on the very quiet twilighted thread, **Lizf22, Lorilei, Nita**

To every reviewer who told me this Bella sucked, this story sucked, and my Edward sucked. Ha fucking ha. *I did it myyyyyyyyyyyyy way.*

**But most of all, thank you to everyone who patiently waited for updates, who read, reviewed, tweeted, recommended, and re-read this story. These last few months have been crazy in my life, and you have no idea how much your words, even a simple, _I enjoyed this_, meant to me.**

So thank you. If you're reading this and you made it through all of that above…thank you.


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